My Wedding Day Approacheth

[rideswings]

Im scheduled to have a small Udon wedding the first week of March. I would like to ask how many farangs here helped plan their own wedding, and how far in advance you planned it? How much planning did your wife do and how much did you do? How many people came? How much did it cost? Where did you get married (church, temple, hotel)?

I am freaking out a little bit because it is so close in time, but I think that when I get to Thailand I will adopt a different attitude... Thailand has a way of relaxing me.

But Im still getting the jitters...

Edited February 14, 2009 by rideswings

[mackayae]

Enjoy.

[patklang]

Good luck on your forth coming weding,dont worry,now is the time to relax as in laws and your wife to be will sort everything out,but dont forget your wallet and atm lol.

May i ask you a question,i am assuming you know that a village wedding is not legal in the eyes of a court,i think.

Also have you been married before or why do you want to get married???

The reason i ask is i was married in uk and now have a thai gf for 3.5 years and she is the best thingthat has ever happened to me but i dont think marriage is important.If she outlives me then her and child is looked after financialy,as is my son in uk, so why do i need to get married.

[jtp]

Im scheduled to have a small Udon wedding the first week of March, and my fiancee so far has not clued me in to the details of where it will be held, how much it will cost, who will be coming, when the festivities will start and end and everything else in between. I have seen weddings on Youtube and they are grand events, but I dont think mine will be all that big.

I am slightly (maybe more) a type-A personality, and dont usually let things go without planning, so Im starting to freak out a little bit because my fiancee is not doing all that much to help plan or at least she is not telling me. I am having to pull any details out from her (as usual in our relationship), so I am on teh verge of just sitting back and relaxing and not worrying about it. My first marriage a long tiem ago was planned out to the detail months before, and where we got married had to be booked 8 months in advance. I guess Udon doent have that high a demand.

Any thoughts??? I am planning our honeymoon on motorcycle from Chiang Mai to Phi Phi, and it's pretty much planned now. But as for the wedding... I guess only time will tell.

PLEASE do not post anything sarcastic... thank you! (Even though I am a little bit clueless.)

Sit back,relax and let the inlaws handle it.Plan on drinking plenty of water,and lots less beer on the big day,it will make the whole wedding so much more relaxed.It's going to be hot at the wedding(Beginning of March) and you will most likely be wearing a suit(Stinking hot) and the lovely lady will be in a traditional dress(Really cool).Mine was a typical Issan wedding,darn thing went all day......And half the night! I am glad i downed plenty of water,i think heatstroke would have been the order of the day,otherwise! Good luck,i know it will be a great day.

[rideswings]

Sorry bout that, here is the original post, thought it had too many words...

Im scheduled to have a small Udon wedding the first week of March, and my fiancee so far has not clued me in to the details of where it will be held, how much it will cost, who will be coming, when the festivities will start and end and everything else in between. I have seen weddings on Youtube and they are grand events, but I dont think mine will be all that big.

I am slightly (maybe more) a type-A personality, and dont usually let things go without planning, so Im starting to freak out a little bit because my fiancee is not doing all that much to help plan or at least she is not telling me. I am having to pull any details out from her (as usual in our relationship), so I am on teh verge of just sitting back and relaxing and not worrying about it. My first marriage a long tiem ago was planned out to the detail months before, and where we got married had to be booked 8 months in advance. I guess Udon doent have that high a demand.

Any thoughts??? I am planning our honeymoon on motorcycle from Chiang Mai to Phi Phi, and it's pretty much planned now. But as for the wedding... I guess only time will tell.

PLEASE do not post anything sarcastic... thank you! (Even though I am a little bit clueless.)

[Pakeha]

Similar siuation for me. Getting info out of my gf about the actual wedding was like pulling teeth... until she finally admitted she didn't really know what went on . It seems granny is expected to know all and advise on all...

So after much research between us both (me!) we (I) have worked out what is going to take place. But there's still absolutely no sense of urgency and trying to plan the finer details ends up in a dead end conversation.

Don't worry I think it must be the thai way. Usually if the wedding is at home (which mine will not be ) I think it pretty much just runs itself as thai events seem to. Some conversations I've had are:

Me Q: How does a thai wedding go?

GF A: I don't know.

Me Q: We should plan the details so that it all runs smoothly. We are having at least 65 geusts (55 flying in from overseas!)

GF A: Don't worry. I can do it the week before the wedding (<deleted>?)

Me Q: Can I arrive on an elephant? (trying to get some sort of response, anything... please!)

GF A: Yes that's fine...

Me Q: Can I have 5 best men?

GF A: Yes that's fine. I will get 5 bridesmaids...

So we go about asking everyone if they'll be best men / brides maids and they all accept...

Me Q: What do the best men and bridesmaids do at a thai wedding?

GF A: Nothing. Thai weddings don't have best men and bridesmaids...

And my all time favourite....

Me Q: Do we need to book the Monks to make sure they are available?

GF A: No. April is a very unlucky month to get married (or do any ceremonies) so all the Monks will be free.

Can't wait. It's going to be a very entertaining day to remember for the rest of our lives!

Good luck!

[rideswings]

Thanks for the advice and best wishes.

Byoung2... this one is a classic!!!

"Me Q: Do we need to book the Monks to make sure they are available?

GF A: No. April is a very unlucky month to get married (or do any ceremonies) wacko.gif so all the Monks will be free."

[sorensen]

Just relax, you are not really married until you go down and sign the documents at the local goverment office, which you can do months after the wedding. Beside, by the end of the day you will be drunk as a skunk and it will all be sabai-sabai.

Just try not to end up in bed with the wrong girl, then you will probably have reason to worry.

Have a good wedding and may it last forever.......or at least until the next one!

Robert

Edited February 14, 2009 by sorensen

[Pakeha]

Thanks for the advice and best wishes.

Byoung2... this one is a classic!!!

"Me Q: Do we need to book the Monks to make sure they are available?

GF A: No. April is a very unlucky month to get married (or do any ceremonies) wacko.gif so all the Monks will be free."

You're telling me. We could have had it in a different month if 55 people hadn't already booked flights...

[chiangmaibruce]

Worry is futile. I did virtually nothing in planning ours - reason being that I was busy renovating our house until about 2am the night before the wedding (by that stage laying vinyl flooring). Guess what, it all still happened.

We had a two stage wedding - thai one at home and western one (in the pm) in a chapel. Closed the road out the front and had a buffet lunch in the street in between the two. Because my wife's family is anti-alcohol there was no booze at the lunch and that kept numbers down to easily manageable levels.

So just sit back and take it in as another golden thread in the rich tapestry of life.

[patklang]

Worry is futile. I did virtually nothing in planning ours - reason being that I was busy renovating our house until about 2am the night before the wedding (by that stage laying vinyl flooring). Guess what, it all still happened.

We had a two stage wedding - thai one at home and western one (in the pm) in a chapel. Closed the road out the front and had a buffet lunch in the street in between the two. Because my wife's family is anti-alcohol there was no booze at the lunch and that kept numbers down to easily manageable levels.

So just sit back and take it in as another golden thread in the rich tapestry of life.

Good point,if you dont have booze rthen all the hangers on will not turn up.

If ever i married my wedding would be nearly alcohol free as most of my gf family do not drink.

[rideswings]

patklang -

May i ask you a question,i am assuming you know that a village wedding is not legal in the eyes of a court,i think.

Yes, I know thanks, and it mainly to appease her villagers that we are getting married so soon. She has told me that she is under alot of pressure from her family to get married to me because we stayed in her village for a while and it caused her family some shame that we were not married. So, Im just trying to make her happy and keep things right so I can spend more time in her village with her and her family. It sounds old fashioned, but I learned along time ago, "You cant fight city hall."

Also have you been married before or why do you want to get married???

I have been married before for 16 years to one woman. I want to get married because of the reason stated above and because I believe in love and marriage, but I know some people dont. Each to his own I guess. My fiancee will be coming to the USA on a fiancee visa later this year, but it's really my intention to retire to Thailand on a retirement visa.

The reason i ask is i was married in uk and now have a thai gf for 3.5 years and she is the best thing that has ever happened to me but i dont think marriage is important.If she outlives me then her and child is looked after financialy,as is my son in uk, so why do i need to get married.

Im really glad to hear about your GF, it sounds like you got a good one. I fully expect my fiancee to outlive me, but women usually do! It doesnt sound like marriage is important to you, and if you can get by with your current situation, good for you...

Edited February 14, 2009 by rideswings

[h90]

We went to the office for marriage (in Europe) together with my parents and 3 friends.

Married, went to eat a pizza, went home....

[JacknDanny]

I am freaking out a little bit because it is so close in time, but I think that when I get to Thailand I will adopt a different attitude... Thailand has a way of relaxing me.

But Im still getting the jitters...

Relax.

If I were you I would...............................................

RUN LIKE #### FOR THOSE HILLS

[SoCal]

I have seen weddings on Youtube and they are grand events, but I dont think mine will be all that big.

I am slightly (maybe more) a type-A personality, and dont usually let things go without planning, so Im starting to freak out a little bit because my fiancee is not doing all that much to help plan or at least she is not telling me. I am having to pull any details out from her (as usual in our relationship), so I am on teh verge of just sitting back and relaxing and not worrying about it. My first marriage a long tiem ago was planned out to the detail months before, and where we got married had to be booked 8 months in advance. I guess Udon doent have that high a demand.

Realisticly it is her day.

It sounds like it will probably be rather simplistic, although you really don't know what goes on behind the scenes, and a lot more people than you think.

At the end of the day, it will mean the world to her, so relax and enjoy the ride.

[yabaaaa]

Im scheduled to have a small Udon wedding the first week of March. I would like to ask how many farangs here helped plan their own wedding, and how far in advance you planned it? How much planning did your wife do and how much did you do? How many people came? How much did it cost? Where did you get married (church, temple, hotel)?

I am freaking out a little bit because it is so close in time, but I think that when I get to Thailand I will adopt a different attitude... Thailand has a way of relaxing me.

But Im still getting the jitters...

I had a small wedding 10 minutes in a Thai registry office equivalent, 2 of my wifes friends came with us in their lunch break and w e went down to a roadside eatery palce for a small meal afterwards(few hundred baht) All done and dusted in an hour and a half and then the friends went back to work. Total 4 people no family involved. Arranged a few weeks before. Cost less than 1000 baht i should think. That wa s two and a half years ago we'd known each other for 1 year previously.

[neverdie]

I am freaking out a little bit because it is so close in time, but I think that when I get to Thailand I will adopt a different attitude... Thailand has a way of relaxing me.

But Im still getting the jitters...

Relax.

If I were you I would...............................................

RUN LIKE #### FOR THOSE HILLS

JACKINDANNY, Thats funny, because thats what I was thinkin. A wise old man once told me that marriage is not for the faint hearted.

I considered marrying again.....but the ole once bitten twice shy kicks in whenever i think about it.

Best wishes to the OP....PS: Have you decided on your honeymoon mode of transport yet?

[G54]

Make sure you smile so 'handsome' for the photo shoot, remembering your face will be there for all to see, framed and on display. A miserable grimace will not go down well in the photo shoot

Enjoy it, soon you will be another nagged husband

[neverdie]

I have seen weddings on Youtube and they are grand events, but I dont think mine will be all that big.

I am slightly (maybe more) a type-A personality, and dont usually let things go without planning, so Im starting to freak out a little bit because my fiancee is not doing all that much to help plan or at least she is not telling me. I am having to pull any details out from her (as usual in our relationship), so I am on teh verge of just sitting back and relaxing and not worrying about it. My first marriage a long tiem ago was planned out to the detail months before, and where we got married had to be booked 8 months in advance. I guess Udon doent have that high a demand.

Realisticly it is her day.

It sounds like it will probably be rather simplistic, although you really don't know what goes on behind the scenes, and a lot more people than you think.

At the end of the day, it will mean the world to her, so relax and enjoy the ride.

I think that is a load of crapppp....BUT the theory behind it is correct, soon enuf everything will become hers

[neverdie]

Next time I decide I want to get married, I'm just going to head out one night, find a woman I don't like and buy her a house!

The OP knows Im only kidding....i just like to stirr

[yabaaaa]

Next time I decide I want to get married, I'm just going to head out one night, find a woman I don't like and buy her a house!

The OP knows Im only kidding....i just like to stirr

My Gik doesnt like you she says please just send the money for the house

[jtp]

Next time I decide I want to get married, I'm just going to head out one night, find a woman I don't like and buy her a house!

The OP knows Im only kidding....i just like to stirr

My Gik doesnt like you she says please just send the money for the house

[john b good]

Sorry bout that, here is the original post, thought it had too many words...

Im scheduled to have a small Udon wedding the first week of March, and my fiancee so far has not clued me in to the details of where it will be held, how much it will cost, who will be coming, when the festivities will start and end and everything else in between. I have seen weddings on Youtube and they are grand events, but I dont think mine will be all that big.

I am slightly (maybe more) a type-A personality, and dont usually let things go without planning, so Im starting to freak out a little bit because my fiancee is not doing all that much to help plan or at least she is not telling me. I am having to pull any details out from her (as usual in our relationship), so I am on teh verge of just sitting back and relaxing and not worrying about it. My first marriage a long tiem ago was planned out to the detail months before, and where we got married had to be booked 8 months in advance. I guess Udon doent have that high a demand.

Any thoughts??? I am planning our honeymoon on motorcycle from Chiang Mai to Phi Phi, and it's pretty much planned now. But as for the wedding... I guess only time will tell.

PLEASE do not post anything sarcastic... thank you! (Even though I am a little bit clueless.)

"or at least she is not telling me"

You will quickly learn that Thai's are not great communicators, so don't expect a blow by blow/word for word, run down of the wedding plans.

I do think however that you can relax as they (Thais) do have some skill in arranging events such as weddings (and God forbid funerals) People from around the village generally all pitch in and things usually go quite well.

Regarding your proposal to ride from Chiang Mai to Phi Phi (with your new bride) I suggest that you explore other scenarios or options.

Good luck "just relax"

[Birdman]

We went to the office for marriage (in Europe) together with my parents and 3 friends.

Married, went to eat a pizza, went home....

...looked TV and fell asleep

At least you did not choose a sausage stand on the street.

[neverdie]

Next time I decide I want to get married, I'm just going to head out one night, find a woman I don't like and buy her a house!

The OP knows Im only kidding....i just like to stirr

My Gik doesnt like you she says please just send the money for the house

Wot is a Gik???

You missed an important part of the equation....it was up to me not to like the woman......maybe I would like your Gik ...please send nud_e pics in order for me to judge...

[473geo]

My situation was similar, in the reason for the ceremony. I was staying at a friends house, the GF wanted me to move in with her; before this could become a reality the village marriage ceremony had to take place. This was conducted in her family home, a lovely little ceremony conducted by the head man of the village. Fruit, pigs head, a quaint joining by 2 rings of silk and a thread. Guests were few, only close family and some well respected older relations who turn out for all these occasions.Her family worked and cooked all day to feed the 'passing' trade where people drop in have a drink, chat and eat. A very pleasant low key entertaining day. I insisted on providing the beer, everything else was taken care of. I really enjoyed it...knew nothing of it until the morning of the ceremony....even borrowed a dress shirt from my friend.....luckily it was loose fitting!!!!! Did drink a bit too (with my friend, in his shirt) a good day.

[Farma]

From a recent upcountry wedding I attended

Bride did most of the organization. Groom organized the booze.

Pre wedding photos - 8,000

Invitation cards + thank you gifts - 6,500

Flowers - 10,000

Reception video presentation + all day photographer - 3,000

Monks x 9 – 5,000

Morning drinks and food (100+ people) – 4,500

Hotel ball room, 5 hotel rooms, food, soft drinks, decorations – 85,000

Evening booze 270+ people (1 bottle of whiskey per table + special drinks for vip table) – 6,000

(Cash wedding gifts exceeded costs)

[Kf6vci]

Well, start by watching you tube videos for about an hour

Make sure there will be enough booze, ice and food for the whole village.

Have someone guard the box where the money envelopes are put in weith his life. In my case, that was a big surprise how much folks gave.

Maybe prepare 2 other suits so you can change any time

If you want the marriage to be official, get a document which says you are free to marry verified and translated and pay for an official to attend.

Make sure Tong Mun and sin sod are 100% agreed to in advance.

Now enjoy the day... You can plan as much as you like, it will be completely different anyhow

[henryalleman]

I'm an type A personality also, so I know how frustrated you must feel. But you should adopt yourself to Thai culture, because they never plan and seldom communicate. My advise is relax and enjoy what is coming. Everything will turn out smooth believe me. Maybe not the way you expected but it will be sanook. Because they are masters in improvising. Its not always necessary to sit in the driver seat.

[tb86]

enjoy, the less you have to be involved the smaller the chances of "but i told you" and the more fun you will have.......

by the way is it traditional for guests to give cash to the bride /groom as gifts?