The Expat Way Of Life

[igotworms]

Lets be honest here. We have friends and family at home that we miss. We have friends and family here in Thailand. Does anyone feel torn between the two?

Our thoughts of home are only memories; nothing new is formed. People are as we left them; in our minds they are unchanged. Each moment we spend living in the past, we idealize the pleasant memories and worry over the regrets. Some of us may be living two lives, but what we have to remember is that one of these lives has ceased to exist.

Does anyone have doubts? Will Thailand be a permanent home for you? Can you live with this great distance between you and your family? Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Cheers.

[Richard Hall]

Very easy to answer from my point of view:

"Do you feel torn between the two?"

NO

"Our thoughts of home are only memories..."

No, because home is nowhere but here. It just took me 38 years to find it. Almost 4 decades in the wrong country is a long time so I enjoy every minute to make up for it.

"Do you have doubts?"

No, never.

"Will Thailand be a permanent home for you?"

No one can predict the future but I sincerely hope and Thai citizienship would be the real cherry on the cake.

"Can you live with the great distance between you and your family?"

No great distance because my family is just a few steps away and well, my parents come twice (during school holidays) a year to Bangkok.

Isn't it a great feeling to reach you final destination after a long lasting journey? Why ponder about the past and why be afraid of the future because both are beyond of our reach. The very present is of importance only because this is when we decide to make the next step that forms our destiny. Doubts and regrets just make you struggle and possibly stumble while the firm step brings you forward.

Best of luck,

Richard

[chingy_]

we go home once a year stay for a month, they come to visit us once a year and stay 3 month. only family like,granny, mother, father, brother and sister, nobody else matter, friends come and goes. not smissing anything

[ray23]

Lets be honest here. We have friends and family at home that we miss.  We have friends and family here in Thailand.  Does anyone feel torn between the two?

Our thoughts of home are only memories; nothing new is formed.  People are as we left them; in our minds they are unchanged.  Each moment we spend living in the past, we idealize the pleasant memories and worry over the regrets.  Some of us may be living two lives, but what we have to remember is that one of these lives has ceased to exist. 

Does anyone have doubts?  Will Thailand be a permanent home for you?  Can you live with this great distance between you and your family?  Any thoughts would be appreciated.   

Cheers.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[igotworms]

Nobody has any doubts huh? Must be nice.

[qwertyuiop]

Nobody has any doubts huh?  Must be nice.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Doubts? Yes Regrets? No.

My response would be very similar to that of Richard Hall.

I took a while to make a decision about changing my life and coming to live here.

I knew then it was a one-way ticket so i put a lot of effort into the decision.

When I speak of home I refer only to Thailand not my country of origin or elsewhere. I have friends in many countries so I was never going to be close to everyone and yes as time goes by some friendships fade but new ones take their place.

Is Thailand paradise? No but then where is? Life here could get better or worse in the years to come but again that could be said of anywhere.

My advice is to think carefully about the decision but then once made make a commitment to that decision

[tuky]

I left home at 16, got a job in the Kimberleys on a cattle station, then worked in a shearing team. I went back to school for a while and then at 21 I got a job in Singapore...I haven't been home since, well not for longer than a month or anyway. My whole life has been gearing up to live here.

No regrets, no doubts and no dreams of the mother country.

[Thetyim]

I was nine years old when I decided that the UK was not for me.

I was 33 when I discovered Thailand.

I moved here ten years later and have been here for ten years now.

I miss my Dad and Marmite, but no regrets.

[Ajarn]

Doubts? Not a one..... Thailand has been a part of my destiny long before I up and moved here 20 years ago. That became crystal clear everytime I visited the States- I always missed home in Thailand so much, but in Thailand, I never missed my birthplace at all...

Except for Flynt's BBQ in Oakland, Calif.

I've spent the majority of my working life here, always in a Thai workplace. Lots of things here I don't like, but I love my adopted country much more than my birth country. Kinda sad to say that, but it's true. I have the life I'd always dreamed about, except for not having a family....Just the way things work out

I sincerely credit my living in Thailand with making me a better and happier person- Part of that comes from the Thais, part of that from the farangs. I've learned a lot from the 'injured' farangs here...

I'm one of the first to agree with the sentiment, "Love it or leave it". I'm grateful to have had the chance to leave 'it' and find my Love here. And I hope and pray everyone can find their idea of love, whatever that is to you.. If it ain't here, leave and find it. It's always been worth the move, in my experience

Edited January 8, 2005 by Ajarn

[marquess]

I have been here for five years now, and at first I used to miss the UK a little. Truth be told I was never really ever comfortable there. As time has gone by (haven't been back for over five years), I miss things less and less. Last week a student asked me, "if I loved Thailand?" There's no need to answer that one.

[ProThaiExpat]

I firmly believe that home is where you make it. Missing relatives is easily cured by trips either way. While I can appreciate the posts from those who have found "paradise" in Thailand, I suspect, if they worked on their insides, they could create "paradise" almost anywhere in the world where the weather is largely agreeable. It just may be easier in Thailand.

Economics is a big issue with retireds, so their choice of Thailand as the place they want to "work at it" to create their paradise, is logical.

For those who hate the cold, Thailand is likewise for them, but they will have to work at it over the long term to make Thailand their "paradise".

Expats demonstrate a courage that not many have and that is their fortitude to uproot themselves from the familiar and transpose themselves to the unfamiliar with all the risks attendent thereto. A dissatisfaction with their prior location is a given or they wouldn't have moved to begin with. If Thailand doesn't work out as planned for them, they will move on, no doubt. Perhaps, they are unwilling to "work at it" and look for externals to make them happy.

I am most fortunate to have moved to Thailand for two very big reasons and by working on my insides now, I am indeed in my "paradise" and living the happiest days of my life.

[paulfr]

Well I came here to live with the most beautiful sweetest woman I have ever met and certainly have no regrets. Home is where your SO is.

We were burglarized over New Years and it hurt and shook me up a bit. So I sometimes wonder if I should take my girl to San Diego. But for now Bangkok is home. One year at a time.

[ray23]

Lets be honest here. We have friends and family at home that we miss.  We have friends and family here in Thailand.  Does anyone feel torn between the two?

Our thoughts of home are only memories; nothing new is formed.  People are as we left them; in our minds they are unchanged.  Each moment we spend living in the past, we idealize the pleasant memories and worry over the regrets.  Some of us may be living two lives, but what we have to remember is that one of these lives has ceased to exist. 

Does anyone have doubts?  Will Thailand be a permanent home for you?  Can you live with this great distance between you and your family?  Any thoughts would be appreciated.   

Cheers.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Mother, Father and all the brothers deceased, children adults and not available these days. I have made a good life for myself here, so no regrets nor any desire to go back. As long as I can stay Thailand is my home. I do miss good Mexican food but that is about it

Edited January 8, 2005 by ray23

[Jockstar]

No regrets. Not 1. I love this country. Though i gotta leave in 2006 and goto Oz for a couple of years. But i'll be back! Like Arnie said!

[Harmonica]

>>>> Lets be honest here. <<<<<<

Igotworms,

Ask these "secure" individuals if they've ever masturbated -- that ought to clear things up in a jiffy! Heheheh

[Richard Hall]

>>>> Lets be honest here. <<<<<<

Igotworms, 

Ask these "secure" individuals if they've ever masturbated -- that ought to clear things up in a jiffy! Heheheh 

No need for lengthy explanations on this because by our statements we have already outed us to take a firm grip ourselves at our destiny, life and... well, how to put it in words.

This is what I define taking a consistent path in life - in all respects of natural behaviour patterns. If one has strong healthy hands and the matching attitude he gains independence and eventually is going to be his own ruler of his destiny. Therefore we ain't w.... but rather achievers always leaving with more horses than we need.

[Harmonica]

>>>>>> Therefore we ain't w.... but rather achievers always leaving with more horses than we need. <<<<<<<

Richard,

I like that, "leaving with more horses than we need!"

Remember? .... "He not only plays, he can shoot too!"

If you don't have it, I'd recommend the Director's cut.

[kreon]

left holland when i was 19, never lived there again

went to mexico, dr, singapore, australia, indonesia and now spend most of my time between paris (spring/summer) and here, warm climates and gals only

only go to holland for a cup of coffee once a year

[maerim]

Do I miss my relatives? Yes only because I am a rotten shot, must save up for a telescopic sight.

Remember friends are Gods way of saying sorry for relatives as you can choose your friends.

Try going to the UK for a while then see if you like, it I hate the place I was there at Christmas, you know the season of goodwill to all men, and who you looking at?

The emergency services set up field hospitals in city and town centres to deal with drunks who had self inflicted injuries and the latest gift to humanity knife wounds.

Hospitals have to lock their doors at weekends through drunks causing trouble and employ security guards.

Most city and town centres are no go areas at night unless you are under the age of 25 with drunks everywhere through "binge" drinking, drink as much as you like for a tenner, great.

I have been about a bit but the UK is the only place I know where people deliberately go out to get drunk othether places getting drunk is a by product of a night out.

In Salford next door the peoples republic of Manchester a 13 year old boy was chased in a stolen car by the police through urban conurbations at speeds of 70 mph plus when they finally caught this scumbag he was three times over the legal limit for drink driving.

No doubt his unversity educated mother and father were shocked by his behaviour

this excuse for a human being had a record of "Twocing" taking without owners consent.

A case for backdated abortions if ever there was one, how many months pregnant are you ?

157 months.

No sweat, we will do it now while you wait.

I could go on but I am feeling sick now and no I don't regret coming here for a second.

[Richard Hall]

>>>>>> Therefore we ain't w.... but rather achievers always leaving with more horses than we need.  <<<<<<<

Richard,

I like that, "leaving with more horses than we need!"

Remember? ....  "He not only plays, he can shoot too!"

If you don't have it, I'd recommend the Director's cut.

Harmonica,

don't have the VCD or tape in my household but saw the pic about 5 times and appear to recall all the scenes just like I watched it yesterday.

Indeed like the character featured by Charles Bronson:

- Limits his talking just to the absolute necessary

- Just does what needs to be done

- Always prepared and never loses his temper

- Patience to achieve the big goal even if it takes decades

- Knows what he wants and is aware of his own abilities, therefore no need to fear or rely on others

Attributes expats can also profit from nicely.

Fully understand why you picked your nickname.

Cheers,

Richard

[PeaceBlondie]

I miss family and friends a little, but Thailand is home. Before that, Mexico was more or less home, and when I went back to Texas, I never settled back in. My best friend just visited for 5 days; I go at least once a year. That's enough. My parents are all dead, my kids are kind of scattered around, and most American men don't make many life-long friends, anyway (I have two now).

Do I regret moving permanently to northern Thailand? Not at all; it's one of the best life choices I ever made, besides early retirement and changing my sexual orientation.

Anyway, the stupid visa requirements force me to go back to a First World Country annually, so I combine it with 3 or 4 weeks visiting friends and family.

[igotworms]

Thanks for the great responses. As for me, I most definitely have no regrets but on occasion I wonder sometimes why I have chosen to live half way across the world from my family back home. But, the answer always clears up any doubts. I love this kingdom and I've met some truly great friends here.

I've had some friends from Canada visit me here and that was truly great. They all understand why I'm living here after spending some time in Thailand. None of my family has yet to come here and I've only been home once in the past 3 years. Sometimes I feel like I'm missing out on what's going on back home with all my nieces and nephews growing up like weeds and the various family events that happen regularly without me.

But I guess thats the trade-off you have to make, and definitely one of the cons of living in Thailand if you are close to your family back home. On my salary its quite difficult to make it home and that seems to add to the guilt. I can't expect them to come out and see me whenever I want, that wouldn't be fair. Oh, well...cest le vie.

[MikeRay]

How much time does anyone grown-up spend with their relatives even they live only 10 miles away?Not much i guess; how much time do you have for your friends whilst working and having kids, not very much either.So it really doesn´t matterin these days where you are staying at as flights are quite cheap and telephone and internet is mostly available everywhere.

[fatter than harry]

That's a good point. Living in Thailand has certainly given me an excellent reason why I can't make that 40th wedding anniversary this, or indeed any coming saturday.

I found it was the first few months that were the hardest to bear, living in Thai but dreaming in English, when you're dreams are Thai based then you're doing ok.

[francois]

hi'

I found it was the first few months that were the hardest to bear, living in Thai but dreaming in English, when you're dreams are Thai based then you're doing ok.

how true

even worse when three languages are fighting in your mind

francois

ps; anyway, never regret anything about moving to LOS ...

thinking about coming back everyday ...

[Insight]

Interesting topic.

Before I moved here I completely underestimated how much of a factor my age would be. To be honest, three months after moving here I threw in the towel and resigned from the company that hired me. Reason being, there I couldn't find much to do of a weekend other than booze, play pool and speak with bar slappers. Great for a holiday, but quickly gets dull for a lifestyle. I couldn't find any strong social circles and was really starting to miss my life back home.

My boss had a good chat with me, pleading me to stick it out, so I did. Spent a bit of time learning Thai (but it's still pathetic), started exploring other areas of Bangkok, spent the weekend travelling round different parts of the country and, sure enough, a few months later my opinion was totally reversed.

As for friends and family, it was difficult with my folks - moving to the other side of the UK would of been a bit difficult for them to cope with, never mind the other side of the planet. But after they visited the first time they could understand why I moved here. Life is *dull* in the UK. Reliably, consistently, predictably dull. Here there's always something going on, it's just knowing how to find it. They've now visted here, on average, once every year since I've moved, and have loved every trip.

Only vex I have now is with other expats. So many of them meet a girl here, move them in, then spend their entire lives afterwards being dominated by them, yet making out it's what they want. Of course it is

FYI, I'm turning 25 this month. Moved here at 21.

[ray23]

Interesting topic.

Before I moved here I completely underestimated how much of a factor my age would be. To be honest, three months after moving here I threw in the towel and resigned from the company that hired me. Reason being, there I couldn't find much to do of a weekend other than booze, play pool and speak with bar slappers. Great for a holiday, but quickly gets dull for a lifestyle. I couldn't find any strong social circles and was really starting to miss my life back home.

My boss had a good chat with me, pleading me to stick it out, so I did. Spent a bit of time learning Thai (but it's still pathetic), started exploring other areas of Bangkok, spent the weekend travelling round different parts of the country and, sure enough, a few months later my opinion was totally reversed.

As for friends and family, it was difficult with my folks - moving to the other side of the UK would of been a bit difficult for them to cope with, never mind the other side of the planet. But after they visited the first time they could understand why I moved here. Life is *dull* in the UK. Reliably, consistently, predictably dull. Here there's always something going on, it's just knowing how to find it. They've now visted here, on average, once every year since I've moved, and have loved every trip.

Only vex I have now is with other expats. So many of them meet a girl here, move them in, then spend their entire lives afterwards being dominated by them, yet making out it's what they want. Of course it is 

FYI, I'm turning 25 this month. Moved here at 21.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

An interesting point, these Thia women are really domineering, I hate all the power struggles, I for one know who i in charge here, I hate going through all OOPS!!!!!!!!!!!! sorry guys have to get the trash out

Edited January 10, 2005 by ray23

[shandiman]

The grass is always greener, there are other places you know, Thailand aint the be all and end all.

Depends what you want, if its the BG's there cheaper in other places. If its the food its better in other places. If its the climate its better in other places. Its cheaper in other places, upto you.

Edited January 10, 2005 by shandiman

[Richard Hall]

The grass is always greener, there are other places you know, Thailand aint the be all and end all.

Depends what you want, if its the BG's there cheaper in other places.  If its the food its better in other places.  If its the climate its better in other places.  Its cheaper in other places, upto you.

Obviously, but once one is satisfied with the color of the grass he/she naturally settles and stops looking around for greener places. It ain't just fragments but it's gotta be the full package. Keep lookin' and the very moment you find your "green meadow" you understand. Until then keep guessing.

Happy searching.

Richard with greetings from Greenland, whoops meant to write Thailand

[Diggerbasher]

I can say without fear that i have no regrets,although big green rolling hills would be nice.