You Know You Are In Thailand When....

[loong]

When you have to check the electric toaster for lizards before you put the bread in......

Well I do anyway, for some reason one lizard likes it in there!

[NewLifeNY]

The local in front of you takes 35 minutes to use the ATM! (same in Singapore!)

I love the place - this one really makes me laugh.

When I was back in the UK, if anybody took more than 60 seconds to use these machines, all sorts of comments would be made by others queuing to use it! (but over there you are waiting in the pi**ing rain and bloody freezing! - much easier to wait here where it is warm and sunny!)

God I hate that!!!!!!!! They just stay there doing god knows what, taking more time that it takes me to pay 20b and feed the baby elaphants in the streets!!!!!!!! Hey Thai People!!! I ATM is not THAT complicated ok????????????????????????

You know you are in Thailand when they close the road at the Train tracks and bikes are still going through from the sides, trying to beat the train!

[loong]

You know you are in Thailand when.....

You're on an overnight bus at 2 or 3 am and somebody has a telephone with a ringtone that gets louder and louder. It takes them 30 seconds to get the phone out and then they study the screen for another 20 seconds. By the time they press the answer button the caller has gone. They put the telephone away and the caller tries again. It takes them 30 seconds to get the phone out and then they study the screen for another 20 seconds. All the time the ringtone volume is increasing.

If they answer the *****ing phone, the caller will tell them who they are!!!

[NewLifeNY]

You know you are in Thailand when.....

You're on an overnight bus at 2 or 3 am and somebody has a telephone with a ringtone that gets louder and louder. It takes them 30 seconds to get the phone out and then they study the screen for another 20 seconds. By the time they press the answer button the caller has gone. They put the telephone away and the caller tries again. It takes them 30 seconds to get the phone out and then they study the screen for another 20 seconds. All the time the ringtone volume is increasing.

If they answer the *****ing phone, the caller will tell them who they are!!!

DUDE...you are RIGHT on the MONEY on everything you have posted! hahahahahahahahahahaha

Thai People!!! The PHONE is NOT THAT COMPLICATED either! just answer it!

You know you are in Thailand when you are walking in a crowded Mall or Sidewalk and the Thai infront of you answers his ringing Cell phone, then he stops in the middle of the Mall (you and a million people are behind him) or sidewalk, then he turns to you and in a very loud annoying voice saids either "HAALLLOOOO" or " KAABBOOONNNN" while turning in circles thinking that the reception will get better 5 degrees in rotation....

[Thanh-BKK]

A couple more:

You know you are in Thailand when:

- You buy four items - and receive FIVE plastic bags!

- Fragile bakery items are wrapped in plastic and scotch-taped in such a way that, by the time you finally get to the food, all you get is crumbs.

Best regards.....

Thanh

[polecat]

YKYAITW

YOU CAN go on a messageboard and TOTALLY!!!!!!!! go reTARDed WiTH cAPP KeYs??? ANd eXcLaMaTiOn!!!! maRKS!!!!?????!!!!!!!!!OMG!!!!!!!

PoSTERS!!!!!!!!????

[SoiGirlHunter]

..when a girl over 110lbs is fat

[FairwayJack]

... some good points for a change

Couldn't have said it better

[FairwayJack]

.....when cute girls in school uniforms chat you up at the local mall to practice their English

[njpski]

YKYAITW

... people let you in to the traffic at roundabouts and from from insignificant side streets - instead of taking delight in preventing you from using a roundabout by speeding up as they approach the intersection (everyday and every roundabout in Melbourne, Australia)

[desi]

You Know You Are In Thailand When:

You go to a concert and they announce, in English...

'If you are in possession of illegal drugs or firearms, please turn them in at the front desk to retrieve after the show’.

[desi]

You Know You Are In Thailand When:

You go to a concert and they announce, in English...

'If you are in possession of illegal drugs or firearms, please turn them in at the front desk to retrieve after the show'.

Ok, they might not have said please...

[loong]

YKYAITW

... people let you in to the traffic at roundabouts and from from insignificant side streets - instead of taking delight in preventing you from using a roundabout by speeding up as they approach the intersection (everyday and every roundabout in Melbourne, Australia)

It's more likely that they are expecting you to just pull out in front of them.

I know I'm in Thailand when I sit at the computer to type this and a lizard craps on my head (it just happened)

Never had a lizard crap on me in Uk

[NewLifeNY]

You know you are in Thailand when you have double check you toilet cause there might be a Cobra inside of it...

You know you are in Thiland when you can buy a 25b "lunch" of chicken and rice with soup.....then a 150b coffee from starbucks....

You know you are in Thailand big bike costs 3-4 times the price of one back in the states....

You know you are in Thailand when you see " latest thai-fashion" which is usually 3-7 years behind Japan or Korea...

You know you are in Thailand when you can buy a a big Fruit shake for 15b..

You know you are in Thaland when the fruit you just bought for 15b has salt in it....

You know you are in Thailand when you walk around different parts of you soi at night and realize there is probably 15 different "dog-gangs" around you and you are not sure what "colors" to wear....

You know you are in Thailand when Basketball Tournaments wont allow more than 3 farang per team because it wouldnt be "fair" to the Thais.....

You know you are in Thailand when Thais think "every farang is qualified to teach english"...

You know yo uare in Thailand when you go for a drink at Kaosan Road and a little flower gilr hustles you out of 120b by beating you in a "Thumb War" game....

You know you are in Thailand when you hustle the flower girl right back cause she didnt know you were Left handed, and she is not as good with her left as her right...

[wefearourdespot]

you are in Thailand when you get arrested at airport for trying to leave with a regular passport.

you are in Thailand when you get jailed for three lines written in a book that sold seven copies.

[bhoydy]

You are doing something really obvious like eating lunch and someone comes over and asks you 'what are you doing?'

You buy a large bottle of water from 7 and they give you 4 small straws with it. Are you supposed to put them together?

You have a confused look about the 4 straws until some random stranger comes along smiling and saying hello.

You take the ball past the last defender in a local football match but then have to wait for your final run up on goal while the national anthem plays out.

[NewLifeNY]

You know you are in Thailand when you see Thais Pick their teeth while covering their mouths but will openly pick their nose in public for everyone to appreciate!

[loong]

YKYAIT when

You buy VCDs - I've never seen them in Uk

You buy VCDs of Mr Bean and Charlie Chaplin that were originally silent movies and they're dubbed with a vocal soundtrack??????

Not only that they're dubbed in Isaan (lao)

PS I've never seen a copy of "The Plank" in Thailand, is it available here? I'd love to get a copy, dubbed or not, (actually dubbed in isaan might be even better), it's one of the all time classics.