You Know You Are In Thailand When....

[Plus]

Seriously not so common in BKK but country side

Almost any big Thai pub still has them. You know the ones with live music where you have to dance next to your table.

Tourists never make it there, though.

[najman]

You know you are in Thailand when you get your washing done by the appartment cleaner for just 50 baht ($2)

You know you are in Thailand when your girl friend correctly points out that a mini mart does not sell "food" (real food)

You know you are in Thailand when you you only get chraged $10 for a major traffic infringment and the policman politely explains that the ticket he gives you is a daily pass to keep violating that law... and he doesn't take a quarter of your license points away

You know you are in Thailand when you get a great value meal for less than a quarter of the price we get ripped off in the west.

You know you are in Thailand when you can ride to the corner store without a helmet and know you wont get busted with a $200 fine for not wearing a helmet.

You know you are in Thailand when you are living in a brand new appartment with air con, free internet fully furnished for $160 a month

You know you are in Thailand when you work into a shopping mall and feel you can afford everything.

You know you are in Thailand when your sexy gf picks you up from the bus station on her motorbike in her high healed sandels with her hair flowing in the wind. And she's done up to the hilt.

You know you are in Thailand when you only need to pay $30 a night for a really nice hotel room with drinks in the fridge and $3 dollar room service meals

You know you are in Thailand when your gf comes home at lunch time with 5 school friends and they all promptly jump into your king sized bed and go to sleep for 1 1/2 hours until their next class starts.

You know you are in Thailand when you get served food and drink on a bus ride that costs 1/6 the price than your home country.

You know you are in Thailand when you see live Karaoke stage outside and major shopping centre and a 13 year old girl is singing and sounds better than Celine Dion.

You know you are in Thailand when your gf tell you you need***lets keep it clean please*** tonight while dancing at the local night club with her school friends.

You know you are in Thailand when you get 70 cable TV channels for free in your appartment building

You know you are in Thailand when you drop your laptop and go to get it repaired with a new hard drive, loading of a new operating system and a bunch of free software for just $60

You know you are in Thailand when you go to a dentist to get a tooth pulled out and pay just $30 with xray and dentist that explains things better in english than a dentist in your own country that charges 10 times as much.

... some good points for a change

You know you are in Thailand when some paodophile posts a post that he dates a School Girl and 5 of her school girl mates come home at lunch time and get into bed for 1 1/2 hours.

You know you are in Thailand when the Thai Visa forum moderator completely ignores that part of the post and removes some other words of a sexual nature!!

<deleted> !!???

My Girl Friend is 21 and I'm 29 for your info. She goes to Uni. She was married to a thai guy of 25 for 2 years when she was 19-20. Hardly an inexperienced minor. I'm not interested inteenagers thanks very much.

Edited February 20, 2009 by najman

[angiud]

You know you are in Thailand when you get your washing done by the appartment cleaner for just 50 baht ($2)

You know you are in Thailand when your girl friend correctly points out that a mini mart does not sell "food" (real food)

You know you are in Thailand when you you only get chraged $10 for a major traffic infringment and the policman politely explains that the ticket he gives you is a daily pass to keep violating that law... and he doesn't take a quarter of your license points away

You know you are in Thailand when you get a great value meal for less than a quarter of the price we get ripped off in the west.

You know you are in Thailand when you can ride to the corner store without a helmet and know you wont get busted with a $200 fine for not wearing a helmet.

You know you are in Thailand when you are living in a brand new appartment with air con, free internet fully furnished for $160 a month

You know you are in Thailand when you work into a shopping mall and feel you can afford everything.

You know you are in Thailand when your sexy gf picks you up from the bus station on her motorbike in her high healed sandels with her hair flowing in the wind. And she's done up to the hilt.

You know you are in Thailand when you only need to pay $30 a night for a really nice hotel room with drinks in the fridge and $3 dollar room service meals

You know you are in Thailand when your gf comes home at lunch time with 5 school friends and they all promptly jump into your king sized bed and go to sleep for 1 1/2 hours until their next class starts.

You know you are in Thailand when you get served food and drink on a bus ride that costs 1/6 the price than your home country.

You know you are in Thailand when you see live Karaoke stage outside and major shopping centre and a 13 year old girl is singing and sounds better than Celine Dion.

You know you are in Thailand when your gf tell you you need***lets keep it clean please*** tonight while dancing at the local night club with her school friends.

You know you are in Thailand when you get 70 cable TV channels for free in your appartment building

You know you are in Thailand when you drop your laptop and go to get it repaired with a new hard drive, loading of a new operating system and a bunch of free software for just $60

You know you are in Thailand when you go to a dentist to get a tooth pulled out and pay just $30 with xray and dentist that explains things better in english than a dentist in your own country that charges 10 times as much.

... some good points for a change

Well said!

[aussiejosh]

You know your in Thailand when your in a restroom using a urinal and the maid walks in and starts cleaning them.

It was a shocker for me at first too...I was like "yo, am I in the wrong toilet?" " Is she a spy"?

Although the ubiquitous shoulder rub by the bathroom "guy" that used to happen while standing at the urinal seems to have disappeared. Now that freaked me out.

You joking right?

They still do it at clubs here, i kinda like it when im drunk... i mean its completely inappropriate but while drunk its nice...

[krading]

You know you are in Thailand when your gf comes home at lunch time with 5 school friends and they all promptly jump into your king sized bed and go to sleep for 1 1/2 hours until their next class starts

" What we have here is failure to communicate" substitute 'Uni' for 'school' and all ambiguity is eliminated

[NewLifeNY]

You know you are in Thailand when Locals get to get in for free or charged less than you (Farangs) when going inside of Temples, parks, waterfalls etc etc.....

[mattias33]

You know you are in Thailand when Locals get to get in for free or charged less than you (Farangs) when going inside of Temples, parks, waterfalls etc etc.....

Yeah, that one is amazing. Thais-free, farangs 400 baht! (waterfall in koh chang a few years ago). In the bayok skytower buffé in Bangkok (wich use to be 400 baht for everybody) a few years ago they said farang 800 baht, thais 400! (They might have changed it now). I came to think of doing it in my country in Europe. Open a pizzaplace and say "pizzas for swedes 40, for foreigners 100!". I would be in jail before the first grand opening day was over.

L.O.S. Come here and we ripp you off and smile while we do it!

Nope, i do love Thailand dont get any ideas. But this one is amusing!

[geeky]

You know you are in Thailand when Locals get to get in for free or charged less than you (Farangs) when going inside of Temples, parks, waterfalls etc etc.....

with a work permit you also get the lower price!

you know you're in Thailand when you smile most of the time

[Soutpeel]

In the bayok skytower buffé in Bangkok (wich use to be 400 baht for everybody) a few years ago they said farang 800 baht, thais 400! (They might have changed it now).

And how many years ago was that ?....I have being going bayok regularly for nearly 8 years now and never remembered dual pricing....another Thai/Farang conspiracy theory again perhaps ??

Also Koh Chang....got a W/P or Thai drivers license ?....same price as a local

[NewLifeNY]

You know you are in Thailand when Locals get to get in for free or charged less than you (Farangs) when going inside of Temples, parks, waterfalls etc etc.....

Yeah, that one is amazing. Thais-free, farangs 400 baht! (waterfall in koh chang a few years ago). In the bayok skytower buffé in Bangkok (wich use to be 400 baht for everybody) a few years ago they said farang 800 baht, thais 400! (They might have changed it now). I came to think of doing it in my country in Europe. Open a pizzaplace and say "pizzas for swedes 40, for foreigners 100!". I would be in jail before the first grand opening day was over.

L.O.S. Come here and we ripp you off and smile while we do it!

Nope, i do love Thailand dont get any ideas. But this one is amusing!

I sometimes too wondered what would happen if I opened a restaurant in The US and the Menu read in small printing ....."If u are American or from any other country except Thailand, same price as listed...if you are Thai, Pls see the manager"......

Now, would I be sued or what???? Grrrrr it sucks! its just so... Racist? sexist?? or just plain unjust robbery!

[NewLifeNY]

In the bayok skytower buffé in Bangkok (wich use to be 400 baht for everybody) a few years ago they said farang 800 baht, thais 400! (They might have changed it now).

And how many years ago was that ?....I have being going bayok regularly for nearly 8 years now and never remembered dual pricing....another Thai/Farang conspiracy theory again perhaps ??

Also Koh Chang....got a W/P or Thai drivers license ?....same price as a local

Really??? they charge you the same?? Wow...i got robbed, TWICE!!!!

Edited February 20, 2009 by NewLifeNY

[Soutpeel]

In the bayok skytower buffé in Bangkok (wich use to be 400 baht for everybody) a few years ago they said farang 800 baht, thais 400! (They might have changed it now).

And how many years ago was that ?....I have being going bayok regularly for nearly 8 years now and never remembered dual pricing....another Thai/Farang conspiracy theory again perhaps ??

Also Koh Chang....got a W/P or Thai drivers license ?....same price as a local

Really??? they charge you the same?? Wow...i got robbed, TWICE!!!!

Dont ask....you dont get..

[IMA_FARANG]

I could write an entire book about this topic...but i will only add 2-3...

I know I am in Thaidland when...

Police stops me because i am a farang driving a big bike....

Cop: "lic. pls"

Me: "here you go sir...."

Cop:" well everything is in oder but i want you to pay me 300 baht because..ummm.your bike is black"

Me: "how about 200?"

Cop:" ok"

I dont have 200 bath bills, so i give him a 1000b note and he saids thank you, takes out his wallet....and gives me back 800b !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know you are in Thailand when you have to look 4 ways before corssing a 1 way street...

You know you are in Thailand when you see Fat, old nasty dudes walking around Pattaya shirtless, while girls scream "Hey, you hansome man".......

Or a postive one.

I was in Phuket some years ago.

I took a "baht bus" a short distance, outside the town.

The thing was so underpowered and overloaded that we had to get out and walk behind when he tried to climb the steep hills.

Then when he got to the top and started down we all ran and jumped back on.

When we were on relatively flat road again, a couple of Thai women coming back from the market with a load of fruit in market bags brought out the pineapple and papaya they were carrying.

A knife appeared and the Pineapple and Papaya were quickly sliced up, and passed around.

Slightly later one of the Thai men pulled out a small bottle of Thai whisky, and all the men took a drink.

The two farangs on board were offered first choice, of course.

At some point we drove off the road, down a small path btween rice paddies. One of the woman had a house there. We all jumped out to help her unload the bags of fruit, and she gave us another pineapple (for later, I guess).

Thats when you know you are in the real Thailand.

[khundon]

You know your in Thailand

When you give your builder a box of 6 glass blocks to fit into a wall, and when you come back to see finished work, there is still one in the box.

[ballpoint]

You know you're in Thailand when the airhostess says "we have now landed at Bangkok, Suwanaphum international airport. The local time is...."

[Lix]

You know you are in Thailand when you get your washing done by the appartment cleaner for just 50 baht ($2)

You know you are in Thailand when your girl friend correctly points out that a mini mart does not sell "food" (real food)

You know you are in Thailand when you you only get chraged $10 for a major traffic infringment and the policman politely explains that the ticket he gives you is a daily pass to keep violating that law... and he doesn't take a quarter of your license points away

You know you are in Thailand when you get a great value meal for less than a quarter of the price we get ripped off in the west.

You know you are in Thailand when you can ride to the corner store without a helmet and know you wont get busted with a $200 fine for not wearing a helmet.

You know you are in Thailand when you are living in a brand new appartment with air con, free internet fully furnished for $160 a month

You know you are in Thailand when you work into a shopping mall and feel you can afford everything.

You know you are in Thailand when your sexy gf picks you up from the bus station on her motorbike in her high healed sandels with her hair flowing in the wind. And she's done up to the hilt.

You know you are in Thailand when you only need to pay $30 a night for a really nice hotel room with drinks in the fridge and $3 dollar room service meals

You know you are in Thailand when your gf comes home at lunch time with 5 school friends and they all promptly jump into your king sized bed and go to sleep for 1 1/2 hours until their next class starts.

You know you are in Thailand when you get served food and drink on a bus ride that costs 1/6 the price than your home country.

You know you are in Thailand when you see live Karaoke stage outside and major shopping centre and a 13 year old girl is singing and sounds better than Celine Dion.

You know you are in Thailand when your gf tell you you need***lets keep it clean please*** tonight while dancing at the local night club with her school friends.

You know you are in Thailand when you get 70 cable TV channels for free in your appartment building

You know you are in Thailand when you drop your laptop and go to get it repaired with a new hard drive, loading of a new operating system and a bunch of free software for just $60

You know you are in Thailand when you go to a dentist to get a tooth pulled out and pay just $30 with xray and dentist that explains things better in english than a dentist in your own country that charges 10 times as much.

... some good points for a change

You know you are in Thailand when some paodophile posts a post that he dates a School Girl and 5 of her school girl mates come home at lunch time and get into bed for 1 1/2 hours.

You know you are in Thailand when the Thai Visa forum moderator completely ignores that part of the post and removes some other words of a sexual nature!!

<deleted> !!???

My Girl Friend is 21 and I'm 29 for your info. She goes to Uni. She was married to a thai guy of 25 for 2 years when she was 19-20. Hardly an inexperienced minor. I'm not interested inteenagers thanks very much.

t'was a joke The way you wrote it just made my fingers do it. 21 eh still a bit young for a 29 year old, especially seeing as Thai girls are generally very immature anyway....do you read comics together? 26/27 is my limit for a relationship and i am 30, otherwise they just have not had the life experience for an adult relationship, although i am sure those high heels and friends of hers are enough to keep you going. Bet you look a bit silly dancing with her school friends at the local disco You probably look about 35 to them considering Thai guys keep their youth well. xx

[MJo]

Seriously not so common in BKK but country side

Almost any big Thai pub still has them. You know the ones with live music where you have to dance next to your table.

Tourists never make it there, though.

Too many thai teenagers and english teachers "being one" with thai culture. Stopped going long before there was any of them in Ekamai. At the time "the" place was in ratchada, can't remember the name anymore but then again there is lot of things i can't remember from 90's...

Edited February 20, 2009 by MJo

[Petesear]

You know you are in Thailand when the bloke sat on his own at the bar tells you he used to be SAS...

[WeeGB]

You know you are in Thailand when the bloke sat on his own at the bar tells you he used to be SAS...

And you say "So did I".

[BugJackBaron]

The Cambodian beggar kids following you go no farther....

was that funny?

[dumball]

You know you are in Thailand when you get your washing done by the appartment cleaner for just 50 baht ($2)

You know you are in Thailand when your girl friend correctly points out that a mini mart does not sell "food" (real food)

You know you are in Thailand when you you only get chraged $10 for a major traffic infringment and the policman politely explains that the ticket he gives you is a daily pass to keep violating that law... and he doesn't take a quarter of your license points away

You know you are in Thailand when you get a great value meal for less than a quarter of the price we get ripped off in the west.

You know you are in Thailand when you can ride to the corner store without a helmet and know you wont get busted with a $200 fine for not wearing a helmet.

You know you are in Thailand when you are living in a brand new appartment with air con, free internet fully furnished for $160 a month

You know you are in Thailand when you work into a shopping mall and feel you can afford everything.

You know you are in Thailand when your sexy gf picks you up from the bus station on her motorbike in her high healed sandels with her hair flowing in the wind. And she's done up to the hilt.

You know you are in Thailand when you only need to pay $30 a night for a really nice hotel room with drinks in the fridge and $3 dollar room service meals

You know you are in Thailand when your gf comes home at lunch time with 5 school friends and they all promptly jump into your king sized bed and go to sleep for 1 1/2 hours until their next class starts.

You know you are in Thailand when you get served food and drink on a bus ride that costs 1/6 the price than your home country.

You know you are in Thailand when you see live Karaoke stage outside and major shopping centre and a 13 year old girl is singing and sounds better than Celine Dion.

You know you are in Thailand when your gf tell you you need***lets keep it clean please*** tonight while dancing at the local night club with her school friends.

You know you are in Thailand when you get 70 cable TV channels for free in your appartment building

You know you are in Thailand when you drop your laptop and go to get it repaired with a new hard drive, loading of a new operating system and a bunch of free software for just $60

You know you are in Thailand when you go to a dentist to get a tooth pulled out and pay just $30 with xray and dentist that explains things better in english than a dentist in your own country that charges 10 times as much.

... some good points for a change

Then you wake up to find your skin has turned brown and you talk 'Tinglish' with an accent .

[dumball]

$30.00 to get a tooth pulled ? You got ripped off , definately a Farang in Thailand , most I paid was 250BAHT in Rangsit and never felt a thing , the dentist was Chinese .

[Jangot]

You know you are on a Thailand forum when posters try to outdo each other about how little they paid to get a tooth pulled.

"you were unlucky...I had my tooth pulled by an Issan katoey using a rusty rice scythe - AND he/she paid me 10 Baht to do it".

[dumball]

You know you are on a Thailand forum when posters try to outdo each other about how little they paid to get a tooth pulled.

"you were unlucky...I had my tooth pulled by an Issan katoey using a rusty rice scythe - AND he/she paid me 10 Baht to do it".

A katoey in Issan that knows how to handle a rice implement ? Stretching sarcasm a little thin there arn't you ? Never saw a scythe in Thailand !!!!!!!

[Jangot]

Well, I was going to write "sickle", but a) wasn't sure how to spell it and thought you might have thought I meant bike.

If I had been really keen, I would have tried to find the Thai name for it, but, hey it was, as you say, just throw-away thin humour/sarcasm.

Wasn't this thread requested to be light?

Nevermind.

J.

[dumball]

Light ? do not even have one turned on right now , trying to save on the ole electric , yes , trying to keep things scaled down tonight , slow anyway .

[Jangot]

Well, in Cambodia as it is almost dawn, you soon won't need your light.

Here in France, it approaches midnight, and time for my lights out.

You know you are NOT in Thailand when:

You have a coat thicker than a double duvet and are still cold.

You go out onto the street at 15 minutes before midnight, and everything is closed. You couldn't get a bowl of noodles even for a king's ransom.

You are in urgent need of chilli and nam pla

You smile and people think you are a nut case.

You desperately wish you were home and cuddled up with your teerak.

You can buy a decent bottle of red for 4 Euro.

Peace.

J.

[Heng]

When they are repaininting the lines on the road... which of course means 4 lanes is now 8+ lanes this week only so jam on in!

Another amusing one are those nearly impossible to get out of "idiot standoffs" where no one is willing to yield and then one final idiot shows up to plug up the one gap that was the only way out for anyone to move their car.

[klikster]

.........

... some good points for a change

If there is a vote for best post of the year, you get my vote !

Yep, I'll vote for najman's post as well. *2 thumbs up*

[game4shame]

you know you are in thailand when:

there's some bellend in beachwear arguing with a tart wearing a couple of rubber bands about him 'being a butterfly'.......

usually at night and in the middle of a busy road.

vomit.