Reasons why the english language is so hard to lea

[Axel]

Perhaps somebody can explain below:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail

18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

[the scouser]

Never mind Axel, if it is any comfort, the majority of British people can't speak English properly. Man muss geduldig sein!!!

[samuisam]

Mai mai mai mai mai?

New wood doesn't burn does it?

[dougrobinson2024]

In Thai, try:

"Who sells the chicken egg?"

Doug

[dr_Pat_Pong]

In English I wonder if the plural of you is youse. At least Thai clarifies whether the ckicken comes before the egg.

[beleby]

Demonstrations of this type are very common. Every language has it's idiosyncrasies. I'm sure any speakers of Chinese could tell us some amazingly confusing grammar rules.

[seahorse]

Do you reckon all native English speakers are geniuses, then Axel?  

The examples you give are almost all the noun + the verb of the same word. They sound different when spoken, as the stressed syllable is different to allow us to quickly determine when listening to spoken English which word is a verb and which is a noun.

The other examples look the same but sound different, because there are not enough vowels in the language to represent all the different sounds. The vowels come from Latin, but the words (and therefore sounds) come from Anglo-Saxon, French, Gaelic, Spanish, Italian, Eskimo, etc.

Hope that helps.

[the scouser]

Dr P.P.,

In Liverpool people do in fact pluralise "you" as you suggested; i.e. "youse".

Scouse.

[Rambutan]

German has a real plural form of you.

[edd]

  I workd livrpool fur 32 yeers an day say ``uze`` not posh like wot u speek.

try a  real scouse extract:

                            im goin t cast iron kazy t swing on gravvy wagons an chuch arf bats at jigger rabits.

if you can understand this you realy are a scouse   :laugh:

please see the next reply for the  translation  edd

[edd]

Translation

i am going to the mersey river beach and to hitch a ride on the tail gate of the waggons that carry gravell from the beach and then throw half house bricks at the ferrel cats.

edd   p.s  i like the scousers even though i lived 20 miles away.    

[the scouser]

Edd,

A'right wack. Been to Warrington meself, like, an' dey don't arf speak funny dere. Anyway, don't ya tink Thailand's gear?

See ya, la.

Scouse.

[Dexlowe]

The problem with English is that it was invented by the Poms -- a pretty pathetic lot who lacked the imagination to adapt new words to given situations. In the modern era, it gave spawn to Yanks and Aussies, who shall forever be condemned to the literary trashcan for having the audacity to inflict on the rest of the world their versions of what is correct English. And as for the Scouses, the Cockneys, the Brummies . . . the least said about them, the better. A bunch of bloody fishmongers' wives, if you ask me. No, English should have been invented by the Bushmen of the Kalahari. But then again, some bloody Scouse would have found a new way to click his tongue -- "wotcher, geezer, p..s off", instead of "excuse me, but I do believe that this is my parking spot". The Gods Must Be Crazy to have left English in the hands of the Poms.

[edd]

 I find it depressing that mature men feel the need to put down others in order to attempt to make them selves appear bigger.

The use of language, is to impart information, as long as both parties understand the information imparted, so what does it matter  about the grammer or spelling.  

I am fortunate to speak english as a first language but i have great admiration for any one that can master English as a second or third language.

I know the trouble i have in learning Thai.

So lets be kind to one another     ???

                       Edd

[Top Cat]

Dexlowe

Your universal use of the word "Pom" to describe an Englishman displays a level of ignorance that is now world wide.

For your information the word "Pom" derives from the initials P.O.H.M. which means Prisoner of His/Her Majesty which refers to convicts that were forcibly transported from England to Australia. As you may be aware a colony was established there some years ago and has prospered some what since.

For some unknown reason the decendants of these P.O.H.M. now refer to natives of England as "Poms" which given the origins of the phrase is some what bewildering.

However we in the Motherland are usually forgiving of our colonial cousins faux-pas which we attribute to excessive alcohol consumption, sun stroke and having Sir Les Patterson as a cultural ambassador.

Therefore assuming your not a "Pom" (i.e. Australian) you may find other English regional speaking peoples' more than willing to give you a "Scouse kiss" or "Geordie nod" given the tone of your post.

[Dexlowe]

Am I the only one who didn't check in his sense of humour at the door? Anyone with half a brain could have seen that my post was not intended to be taken seriously.

Top Cat, I'm well aware of the origins of the word "Pom". The fact that it's now used for people from England is none of my doing, I'm just carrying on a fine old Down Under tradition of giving the Poms a bit of stick, especially those who bombastically describe themselves as "we of the Motherland". Pommie-baiting, a national sport in the colonies, is intended purely to get a rise out of Pommies, which I appear to have done admirably. Chuckle, chuckle.

Have a nice day, guys, and anytime I can help you out with your English, just IM me.  

Your-ever-loving Dex.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

ummmmmmmmm..............the ' Rum Rebellion ' ? ALL Brits

[Top Cat]

Dexlowe

"Am I the only one who didn't check in his sense of humour at the door? Anyone with half a brain could have seen that my post was not intended to be taken seriously."

Yes I thought you would rise to the bait and bite. I did think that my reference to Sir Les Patterson would give the tone of my post away but obviously not. (LOL!!!)

Sorry Axel were going off topic but the exchange between Dexlowe and myself proves that native English speakers can often fail to understand each other.

More down to its not what you say but the way that you say it. Keep up the good work.

T.C.

[Dexlowe]

Selective editing, Top Cat. You're trying to play catch-up, because you've been bested. But I would expect that from a pretentious Pom. Is Sir Les Patterson the best "bait" -- or rather, ammunition -- you have? Oh well, never mind. Some of us colonials know very little about Sir Les ("who he, bwana?"). LOL.

BTW, how would you explain a "scouse kiss" or a "Geordie nod" to a non-English speaker. I await your reply with bated breath.

Your-ever-loving Dex.

[Top Cat]

Dexlowe

PRETENTIOUS, MOI!!!  ???

[the scouser]

Dexxie,

A "Scouse kiss" is hard to define and is more of a visual experience. Should we ever bump into each other I'd be more than willing to show you. By the way your written English isn't that bad when you consider where you're from.

Scouse.

[Dexlowe]

Haha, Top Cat. Shades of Fawlty Towers. Now if we could only get The Scouser to exhibit a bit of humour instead of threatening physical violence upon my humble personage. I take umbrage to that threat, Scouser, as it wasn't accompanied by a promise to buy me a beer afterwards. I thought Scouses were more hospitable than that??? LOL -- I know you are only joking, Scouser. And thanks for the compliment about my English. But it shouldn't surprise as we colonials are the last outpost of English as she is writ. It is why so many of us go to your country -- to help you relearn it. BTW, your English isn't too bad, either. Been reading the Sydney Morning Herald lately, have we?

Your-ever-loving Dex.

[the scouser]

If Axel was finding it difficult to learn English, well he'll be positively bamboozled by now.

Anyway, Dex, in the interests of objectivity I thought I would try and learn a bit of Aussie-speak. With this end in mind I have been assiduously following that wonderful Australian cultural export, Neighbours. I can now say with complete confidence, "G'day, mate. Shane's crook." Am I fluent yet?

A beer is not out of the question but you have to promise to be nice to me.

Regards,

Scouse.

[Axel]

Thanks for all your answers, some educative, some amusing.

I am not bamboozled, problems seems "too long too Far East",

lost my English but speak Japlish, Thaiglish, Chinglish.

Like my first sentence in Asia: "Tabaggo no filta" i.o. "Cigarettes without filter, please" to which the answer was "Ha" which I believe means "beg your pardon Sir?"

[TizMe]

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae.

The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

[Edward B]

Taht's asutelloby azinmag !

Tihs is fun. I wednor how fsat a poersn can raed a paargaprh tihs way, coramped wtih the nromal way? I tihnk the lgnoer the wrod is teh lngoer it wulod take to raed. But tehn that is ptetry ovobuis! I maen, try radenig a wrod like shempytitac. Aslo, waht aobut agaramns?  Scuh as:

Parties slote scared sliver cinos wroth $1,000.

And

Framing reci rcih in pointers untied teh Tahi fimaly.

Actually, it's not that much different from some of the posts I've read in this forum.