Gaydar

[Ijustwannateach]

My ex- told me before that the first time he met me he wasn't sure if I was gay or not. I could have said the same thing about him. He tells me that it's hard for him to know if farang are gay or not, but he's always pretty sure if a Thai person is gay or not.

I've met so many different types of gay person that I no longer really believe in the accuracy of my gaydar. Of course, for obviously flamboyant or flirting types I can easily tell- but otherwise all bets are off for me. I guess it's easier for me to tell with farang, but not *that* much easier.

Do you have gaydar? Does it work? Does it work equally well for Thais and people from your home country?

"Steven"

[ChrisP]

My Gaydar works better in the US, I find.

When I'm in LOS, I find Thai boys are SOO cute, I just WISH they were all gay....

But seriously, if they're not flamboyant or fem, I do find it hard to tell with MANY asian guys.. They are generally more "soft" than western types... Although an American once told me that when he was in Britain he thought every British man was Gay... because they are so "soft".. (personality-wise..)

ChriP

[PeaceBlondie]

I'm with you guys. Perhaps because I didn't come out until I was about 42, I've never been able to tell. Maybe I refuse to develop my gaydar, or admit I have any gaydar, because I'm always ranting against stereotyping.

I was thinking yesterday that every one of the hundreds of teenage boys at my school either looks, walks, or talks gay. But less than 30% are, maybe only 15% (and we surely can tell who the radical femme types are).

I don't put a candidate in the "most likely is gay" category until it's obvious. For example, when he's strutting around a gay gogo bar like the most outrageous movie star and touching customers on their crotches.

[ProThaiExpat]

It seems to me that if you are an accomplished "cruiser" you have highly developed "gaydar" as a matter of course.

Unless I am in a gay venue, I assume they are straight unless I am very much "come on to". Since many Thais, who are straight, are still out to make money with gay farang, it is more difficult than ever.

When I was here on a sex tourist visit, I got into the practice of asking sex workers if they were gay, as I found straight sex workers to be more prefuctuary in their actions. I do know there are gays that prefer sex with "straights", but that is not me.

Since I am fairly single minded when I am out and about, I rarely pay attention to passing Thais, however, when I was in Bangkok and used a rest room in Silom, it was very obvious what the loungers were there for, however, to say they were gay is without foundation. They could have been straights out to make a buck.

My Thai often points out gays for me who are cruising me without my noticing them. I think those who have said it is easier to have better gaydar within your own nationality have made a valid point. I found Brits "more civilized", another way of saying more effeminate to me, but Aussies probably say the same about Yanks. Generalities are dangerously flawed by definition, so I will backoff and provide the foregoing not as gospel, just chatter.

[Storekeeper]

I've got a "Straight eye, for the queer guy."

[Ijustwannateach]

Well, at least Thais do do somewhat cruisy things occasionally- if they like you they will look at you and smile, or look back at you after you pass them. It was really irritating in Japan- no one would do that! You'd have to go to a gay venue to be even a little sure that anyone around you was gay.

"Steven"

[Steve2UK]

Well, at least Thais do do somewhat cruisy things occasionally- if they like you they will look at you and smile, or look back at you after you pass them.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I agree with this and many of the other comments. That said, I still vividly remember the learning curve of my first visit to LOS. Coming from the more straight-faced (maybe I should say poker-faced in this context - no puns intended), I was at first overwhelmed by what seemed a barrage of smiles from every quarter; after this initial (misplaced) ego-boost, I thought to myself "Surely they can't ALL be coming on to me?!". And, of course, they weren't - and I had to fine tune to separate the "targeted" smile from the background.

I was helped in this by the fact that I have a (relatively) large nose - which often seems to trigger much giggling and nudging from admiring (interested?) Thai guys who stroke their own noses and I occasionally hear something along the lines of "Oh, you luckee". Modesty forbids that I confirm/deny the truth of their assumption in this forum.........

But my gaydar is generally pathetic. The only other time it worked without fail was in KL. Some of you may know the Lot 10 department store in downtown Bintang. There's a pair of escalators running between the entrance lobby and the first floor - which must rate as the cruisiest spot on the planet. You just could not go up or down without being "target acquired" from the other escalator. More like active sonar than radar/gaydar.......

Edited January 22, 2005 by Steve2UK

[ChrisP]

Ok, While we're on the subject.... Where are most cruisy spots in BKK..?

ChrisP