Do Your Students,secretaries "wai" You?

[Neeranam]

When I used to work in various language schools in Bangkok the secretarial staff never waied the teachers. I think this is very bad for teachers gaining the respect of the students. Thai teachers have a high standing in this country. When the students, especially kids see that the administration don't "wai" the teacher. Even the cleaners didn't , what on earth do the kids think? They would get thrashed by their parents(maybe even teachers) if they never "waied" their normal teachers. This puts the "foreign espert" at a real disadvantage in MHO.

[singa-traz]

When I used to work in various language schools in Bangkok the secretarial staff never waied the teachers. I think this is very bad for teachers gaining the respect of the students. Thai teachers have a high standing in this country. When the students, especially kids see that the administration don't "wai" the teacher. Even the cleaners didn't , what on earth do the kids think? They would get thrashed by their parents(maybe even teachers) if they never "waied" their normal teachers. This puts the "foreign espert" at a real disadvantage in MHO.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Respect is not given, but earned.

[maitembot]

When I used to work in various language schools in Bangkok the secretarial staff never waied the teachers. I think this is very bad for teachers gaining the respect of the students. Thai teachers have a high standing in this country. When the students, especially kids see that the administration don't "wai" the teacher. Even the cleaners didn't , what on earth do the kids think? They would get thrashed by their parents(maybe even teachers) if they never "waied" their normal teachers. This puts the "foreign espert" at a real disadvantage in MHO.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Are you for real?

[Neeranam]

Another helpful post from 'maitembot'. Use the ignore button if you don't like my topic.

[haltes]

When I taught at university quite a few students used to wai me when I met them walking around or on the street. A few used to wai me everytime I gave them a handout or other piece of paper....

[Ijustwannateach]

I've actually been wai-ed while walking through a university I had nothing to do with to visit friends there- I must just have that "teacher" look!

"Steven"

[PvtDick]

My secretary doesn't wai me, although i am in business -- not teaching. For one thing, she is several years older than I am. Also, having worked with her for over fifteen years, we are on quite familiar terms. I also try to encourage an informal atmosphere around the office.

The only time my staff wai me is when thanking me for a special bonus or salary raise.

[Jai Dee]

The children (and sometimes the parents too) always wai the teachers in our little village in Isaan.

The school (shared between 4 villages) was not large enough to require any secretarial staff, but the cleaners and gardeners waied the teachers when they turned up for work first thing in the morning.

[PeaceBlondie]

I get waiied just walking through the halls or across campus, without even looking at the more respectful teenagers. And if I look 90% of the students straight in the eye, I get a wai every time. All ajarns or student teachers meeting me for the first time give a wai upon introduction, and expect one in return. We're inconsistent among the faculty, though. Any wai gets returned.

But then, I'm two years older than anyone else on campus, so maybe I get more wais because of my age. As for the secretaries I work with all the time, on campus - no, that would interfere with their work too much.

Only occasionally do I see an ajarn return a students' wai, and that would be when the student does something special, like to give a present to the ajarn. If one teacher wais to another teacher, it gets returned. Of course, I always wai the Director, etc.

I think I got a wai from the waiter once in a gogo bar because he knew I was an ajarn....trouble is, he called me that, out loud!

[kat]

I'm glad someone brought up this topic, because it is something that has been bothering me.

I don't care about the cleaning staff or anyone else, but I think it is horrible and a real sign of disrespect that many of my students do not wai me, or even speak. Most also do not stand to greet me when I enter a room, or stand to thank me at the end of class. When they do, most of the time they have to be told and at most 50% willl stand. Also, about half of the Thai teachers don't even acknowledge me.

This really upset me a while ago, especially when I posted on the other thread about teaching in Asia. It has been extremely difficult and stressful for me, and I really have tried so hard to teach these kids. Yes, I was very strict in the beginning, but you would not believe the disciplinary chaos I had to deal with and the 50-60 odd kids in a classroom. At times, I couldn't even teach because you could not hear me over the din. There is no way any self-respecting teacher would allow that situation to continue, so I didn't. But I have also been playful and affectionate with my classes, so they have both sides.

It has gotten a little better, in that more of the kids greet me, but it is mostly in Western style (hi teacher, smile, and a wave). I at least feel vindicated about my alternating strict/sweet teaching style, because I've noticed more and more of my kids are starting to show signs of fluency by speaking in full sentences, and daring to come over and start conversations with me (and also having the rudimentary skills to do so). So, in that case, I feel good about myself.

But the apparent disrespect of never waing me, and having to be told to do what they automatically do for their Thai teachers, really disturbed me, and still does. It just sort of eats away at you. I work hard, teach those kids despite enormous obstacles, and I care - I deserve respect, so why don't I get it?

[brianbrain]

I must just have that "teacher" look!

"Steven"

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

God help you!

[Ijustwannateach]

Dear Kat,

Unless they're quite young, it's no longer completely routine at all places for the students to 'wai' or mumble "thank you, teacher." Doesn't mean they *disrespect* you so much I think, it's just the way times, they are a-changing.

Up to about M.3, kids at my school routinely wai- older than that, and they do things Western-style- but then we're supposed to be a Western-style program.

It will take awhile for you to get respect from the Thai teachers- most of them will be older than you anyway, and so you're supposed to wai them (though it is disrespectful if they don't acknowledge your wai). Remember that most teachers here are unskilled, unprepared, unprofessional, and unqualified- you may be suffering for some of the sins of your predecessors in their experience. Hang in there! Hope you're feeling better!

"Steven"

[Ajarn]

It could be that they don't respect you, and that they have a different image of you than you have of yourself.

Right or wrong, still no point in giving all your power to them to control whether you feel good or bad. Don't depend on them to take care of you. Take care of yourself. It's the only healthy thing you can do...

[PeaceBlondie]

I'm lucky also in that I may be the first farang ajarn in memory, so they probably cut me some slack and respected me. And it wasn't my first school in that province. Some kids just don't show enough respect.

If you're not causing the problem (and if you're not following in the troubled wake of some real loser farang ajarns), then it's the fault of the kids, their parents, the other ajarns, the monks, and all Thais in Thailand. Mai bpen rai.

Oh, one more thing. Yesterday was a full moon, and the kids were playing Monday Fool's Day all day with many ajarns, thai and farang alike. So when my MEP class wouldn't shut the f--- up, I yelled loudly through a microphone, 'BE QUIET!!'. Then I told them they were bad Thai children, not respecting an ajarn, and shame on them for having to be told by a farang how to be good Thais. After I told four Thai ajarns about it including my boss, I decided it's not my job to teach Thainess to Thais.

Edited January 25, 2005 by PeaceBlondie

[kreon]

I'm glad someone brought up this topic, because it is something that has been bothering me.

I don't care about the cleaning staff or anyone else, but I think it is horrible and a real sign of disrespect that many of my students do not wai me, or even speak.  Most also do not stand to greet me when I enter a room, or stand to thank me at the end of class.  When they do, most of the time they have to be told and at most 50% willl stand.  Also, about half of the Thai teachers don't even acknowledge me.

This really upset me a while ago, especially when I posted on the other thread about teaching in Asia.  It has been extremely difficult and stressful for me, and I really have tried so hard to teach these kids.  Yes, I was very strict in the beginning, but you would not believe the disciplinary chaos I had to deal with and the 50-60 odd kids in a classroom.  At times, I couldn't even teach because you could not hear me over the din.  There is no way any self-respecting teacher would allow that situation to continue, so I didn't.  But I have also been playful and affectionate with my classes, so they have both sides. 

It has gotten a little better, in that more of the kids greet me, but it is mostly in Western style (hi teacher, smile, and a wave).  I at least feel vindicated about my alternating strict/sweet teaching style, because I've noticed more and more of my kids are starting to show signs of fluency by speaking in full sentences, and daring to come over and start conversations with me (and also having the rudimentary skills to do so).  So, in that case, I feel good about myself.

But the apparent disrespect of never waing me, and having to be told to do what they automatically do for their Thai teachers, really disturbed me, and still does.  It just sort of eats away at you.  I work hard, teach those kids despite enormous obstacles, and I care - I deserve respect, so why don't I get it?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

this is the real mystery in thailand, whether teaching, business or in private life

yes, you have to earn the respect and it takes a while to get it, maybe your teaching style is too rigid, maybe you need to soften up, bring in a little of the mei pen rai fun and don't take to seriously, you also run respect in by people liking you

i take its the same worldwide, just look at the movie's such as "the mona lisa smile" and "a brilliant mind" they all got the respect in the end

i hope this helps a bit

[jingjingna]

I think it does boil down to whether or not they respect you as a teacher. Fortunately, I am well liked by most of the Thai teachers, helper teachers etc, so they wai me or I wai them.

I was pleasantly surprised to see the kids wai me too though I much prefer to have them run up to me and give me a good morning hug..big softie that I am!

[Neeranam]

Perhaps my original post was not clear enough.

What I was meaning was the language schools, (ECC, Siam, Berlitz, etc).

I have worked for many such as these and even some excellent, elderly, experienced head teachers never got waied. Is my order of adjectives right?, doesn't sound right - been a few years. The good kids from good families usually waied me, regardless of whether I deserved it or not. Maybe it is something to do with their paying money - they are the customer, rather than student.

In Universities, and prathom/mattayom schools there were plenty of wais.

I blame the parents for scaring the kids of farangs. I have overheard a couple of parents showing their disrespect for us. Yes, believe it or not, using the pronoun, "mun". I have been told that most of the parents use this pronoun when talking about us. Why then would they wai someone that they are scared of and is addressed the same way as an animal, or a younger member of the immediate family?

Go on ask the secretary why they use mun? See how honest they really are!

On the other hand, it gets a bit tiresome when one adopts the Thai "rules", knowing when and who expects a wai.

Edited January 25, 2005 by Neeranam

[maitembot]

Oui! Another of those funny moments! Cheers!

I sometimes hope you'll never remove your head from your ###

Kids! Don't do this at home!

[kat]

Thanks for your post Neeranam. It puts into words a lot of what I was sensing, but was just beginning to ask.