"victorian England" In Thailand

[ChrisP]

Someone posted - a while ago - that many Thai Relationships (both gay and straight) in are somewhat like those in Victorian England.

There are often the "haves" and the "have nots"...

There are those "upstairs" and those "downstairs"...

There are those who want/need support, and there are those whose "job" it is, in the relationship, to provide it, in exchange for other benefits.

I think all relationships have some form of "give and take" in them... Just exactly how that plays out though is unique to everyone. Many people seem to see this as unequal.. and therefore not good.

I don't agree - although I AM originally British, and have that Victorian history lurking...

Any examples that you'd care to share..?

ChrisP

[Ijustwannateach]

One could put forward the many cases of an older, richer partner supported a younger, poorer one, a la Dickens and many other Victorian authors...

Or the tension because of social status between "higher" partners and their "lower" companions- for example, cross-status relationships a la Oscar Wilde with the working class youths... or indeed, for that matter, Oscar Wilde and the much higher status Alfred Douglas and his father....

My "candidate" on the other thread was being at least half-supported by his Spanish boyfriend, whom he really didn't seem to like or love very much- but I (and he, I imagine) would take great exception to his being called a prostitute or even a kept boy. His situation seems Victorian to me, in a sense.

On my first trip to Thailand a few years or so ago :blush: , I became the kept man of a kept boy for a few weeks (though I had no idea what was going on at the time). I had met him on Soi 4 (of course), which I also had no clue about at the time. He took me all around Bangkok, took me out to dinner and dancing every night, and generally made me feel wined and dined, on his tab. I only found out what was going on when he had to stop going out with me after a few weeks because his Australian "keeper" bf had flown in for vacation!!! I had wondered how the guy could keep the money flowing without apparently working- but then, I was a newbie.

I've also heard (as I posted some time ago on another thread here somewhere) from my much older friend stories of young, handsome gentlemen of means in the saunas who tried to persuade him to bonk them- but weren't his type (he doesn't like muscleboys)- and then offered him money! In the states, if I were turned down by someone, I'd assume I wasn't his type and that it wouldn't work out- wouldn't cross my mind to give them a financial incentive! That seems kind of Victorian to me.

And no, he didn't bonk them, but he has become friends with one or two of them.

"Steven"

[ProThaiExpat]

The "money" issue has been present in relaitonships as long as man formed such things and nothing has really changed. "Marrying well" has always been the goal of women and always will be. With the Austalian open in progress, it is appropriate to comment on the utter beauties the not altogether good looking #1 is coupled with. Roddicks girlfriend, Sampras wife, and so on, do we think these other wise ordinary guys can command such beauty by their charm. Of course not, it is their celebrety, power and money.

I have no problem with it. Donald Trump and his ridiculous hair but oh the beauties that hair attracts, Ha, we know better, power, money and celebrety.

Why should we go on about it working in Thailand. Straights or gays get their pick of the local talent for their power, money and celebrety and not much else. If you turn out to be a nice falang with redeming virtues, the Thais say they "hit the jackpot".

I have never been one to go where I am not wanted, the converse is also adviseable. I am delighted that my age is not a major factor in meeting most Thai guys, as it is in the U.S.. My size is attractive to many Thais and I look "smart" to them, straight or gay.

In the U.S. I don't have those factors working in my favor, or at least the age factor, so why not take advantage of the situation.

How foolish would my post sound, as one prior poster sounded, if I posted that I was looking for an equal in Thailand for a LTR. A Thai seeking an equal surely wouldn't be looking at falang and vice versa.