Thais Touching Your Kids

[MZurf]

Do your shopping in Villa and Tops instead of Tesco/BigC/Carfour and no one will touch your children there(my guess).

Why?

[Sam125]

I teach my kids not to talk to or go anywhere with strangers - touching does not even come into the equation. My 3 year old daughter is taught to politely say no. If I am there I will gently use my hand to block their hand.

I am American and the trend these days is to teach children to stay away from strangers for safty reasons and I agree with this 100%. There is nothing more important than the safety of a child end of story.

No doubt 99.9% of the people out there who want to touch my daughter are likely to be paying her a compliment. But you need to train kids so that later if they are at a bus stop after school etc they will always know to stay away from strangers

I love Thailand but living here does not mean adapting all the customs.

Now if the next door neighbor whom we know well wants to pick up my daughter that is fine.

[cat5]

I do the same thing I do when ANY OTHER HUMAN BEING touches my kid. It just depends on the person and the circumstance. WTH dose the person's nationality have to do with it? If they were white or (insert favorite nationality here) would it make a difference????

Seems a tad harsh on the grandparents!

I dunno - it might be about right for Thai grandparents from all the stories I've heard...

[jaidee1]

Not gonna post any details but I had a supposed "friend" keep on making stupid little comments about my daughter of 2 years 9 months such as "oh if I was 30 years younger" then he was smelling her hair but to top it all she was playing in the ice box & he walked behind her & simulated sex from behind. Needless to say the guy is no longer my friend & I keep my daughter away from him.

[Lorin]

Do your shopping in Villa and Tops instead of Tesco/BigC/Carfour and no one will touch your children there(my guess).

Why?

Because those places with imported foods that are expensive,attracts expats and well off Thais, non of those groups will touch your kids.

[MikeWill]

My daughter, 6, is also frequently touched by strangers of both genders. The touches are never sexual but racial, as far as I can see. But, no matter the reason, I don't like it. I react by giving an unfriendly look to that person (as if saying don't touch my kid), and taking my child away. On the other hand, if the strangers just try to speak to my daughter, or make an eye contact, I react favorably.

Edited April 26, 2009 by Condo_bk

[denissr]

I had Thai friends visit my home in Ohio. My son was there with his very young baby, the Thai ladies could couldn't get enough holding him. The men just smiled and watched them. Seems like an International thing to me, females love babies. I wouldn't touch anyones kid, anywhere. But then, I just don't especally like kids (babys). This seems like a big ta-doo, over nothing, but there a lots of folks just waiting to get mad about something.

[Heng]

For all the parents that are fretting about intentions of the adult or whether they might be carrying a few germs or not, i think your protective instincts are understandable but in my opinion are extreme and unnecessary. Wrapping kids in too much cotton wool is never a good thing.

Nah, I never said I was trying to raise them in a bubble, wool or otherwise. It's just basic hygiene. I wouldn't eat in a basic food court where the servers didn't wear gloves either. I'm not afraid of hair, but I wouldn't continue eating something with a hair found in it.

[rixalex]

For all the parents that are fretting about intentions of the adult or whether they might be carrying a few germs or not, i think your protective instincts are understandable but in my opinion are extreme and unnecessary. Wrapping kids in too much cotton wool is never a good thing.

I wouldn't eat in a basic food court where the servers didn't wear gloves either.

And if they do wear gloves, how do you know the gloves are clean?

[Heng]

For all the parents that are fretting about intentions of the adult or whether they might be carrying a few germs or not, i think your protective instincts are understandable but in my opinion are extreme and unnecessary. Wrapping kids in too much cotton wool is never a good thing.

I wouldn't eat in a basic food court where the servers didn't wear gloves either.

And if they do wear gloves, how do you know the gloves are clean?

I don't, but I draw the line at the symbolic effort of gloves/alcohol rubs in hospitals/hairnets/middle serving spoons/etc. and leave the rest up to my better cared for immune system and superior health care access.

[Jungian]

I have no problem with it nor does my daughter however neither one of my daughters have been approached by men just the women. What did annoy me though was when a Thai woman told my wife I should have married a dark skinned Thai because the babies were more beautiful.

[jubby]

Wow, this is still going strong.

I wasn't going to post because it doesn't bother me too much.

I have three Luk Kreung Girls, 5 ,7, 10. used to get touched regularly , almost always by Women.

If a Guy did touch the Kids I suspect I would have carried out a subconscious risk assessment which would have taken nanoseconds as I believe any protective father would.

I do suspect most Thai males wouldn't touch a strangers child for the same reasons we wouldn't touch theirs.

It would have been interesting to see the response from the Guy if you had recipricated and touched his Child.

The Thai obsession with Fair Skin must come into the equation because my Kids don't get touched much now, I can only assume its because they have a healthy brown skin colour much the same as the Kids they play with in the village. They have plenty of Thai school friends who are whiter because they are not allowed out in the sun who probably get more attention these days.

[yabaaaa]

I teach my kids not to talk to or go anywhere with strangers - touching does not even come into the equation. My 3 year old daughter is taught to politely say no. If I am there I will gently use my hand to block their hand.

I am American and the trend these days is to teach children to stay away from strangers for safty reasons and I agree with this 100%. There is nothing more important than the safety of a child end of story.

No doubt 99.9% of the people out there who want to touch my daughter are likely to be paying her a compliment. But you need to train kids so that later if they are at a bus stop after school etc they will always know to stay away from strangers

I love Thailand but living here does not mean adapting all the customs.

Now if the next door neighbor whom we know well wants to pick up my daughter that is fine.

Perhaps you would be better teaching them the bit about if "Mummy and Daddy arent there" not to talk to strangers?

[Sam125]

I teach my kids not to talk to or go anywhere with strangers - touching does not even come into the equation. My 3 year old daughter is taught to politely say no. If I am there I will gently use my hand to block their hand.

I am American and the trend these days is to teach children to stay away from strangers for safty reasons and I agree with this 100%. There is nothing more important than the safety of a child end of story.

No doubt 99.9% of the people out there who want to touch my daughter are likely to be paying her a compliment. But you need to train kids so that later if they are at a bus stop after school etc they will always know to stay away from strangers

I love Thailand but living here does not mean adapting all the customs.

Now if the next door neighbor whom we know well wants to pick up my daughter that is fine.

Perhaps you would be better teaching them the bit about if "Mummy and Daddy arent there" not to talk to strangers?

No, I do not agree as you must be consistent with small kids. When in the mall and many people want to touch her she is trained to politely (or one hopes politely) to say know and back away.

It is always better to error on the side of caution where the safety of children is concerned.

[yabaaaa]

You overly protective Westerners know nothing Thai culture and arrived yesterday - right?

Your totally out of order the PB.

As parents we have an absolute responsibility to our children to protect them - Nothing about being over protective and everything about being a good parent.

And an observation on Thai culture - Thais do not go around touching, pinching, picking up, tickling or in anyway messing with the children of other Thais that they do not know - IT DOES NOT HAPPEN.

But hey, their's a foreigner with his little foreign 'Duk-a-taar' let's go play with it.

I'll give you an example:

When our daughter was at tot I took her with me shopping to Mike's Department store in Pattaya - Like many parents in Thailand I was quite happy to let her run around as I could always find her by simply looking at the shop assistants to see where they themselves were looking - basic geometry - all looking at where the little-un was tottering around.

But also like most parents you get a second sense when something's wrong - I knew without asking something was wrong by the look of the face of one of the shop assistants - I ran around the counter to find a Thai woman with a pair of scissors cutting a chunk out of our daughter's hair - I went F@cking berserk - took the scissors off her and cut a chunk of hair off her head that left her half bald.

Over protective - not understanding Thai culture my backside - My kids, my duty to protect them and my right to do so.

You let your child out of your site?? hmmmmmmmm, I'd be worried she got out of the store and hit by a car but I wouldnt be worried about kiddy fiddlers.

[Jim's_a_Thai_Fox]

I don' t have kids but can imagine the in built duty to protect your offspring.

However, I do feel a tad uneasy at the way a lot of western parents seem too over protective - it is not my business how they choose to raise/look after their kids of course, but IMO giving kids a healthy education in 'stranger management' and accepting the risks would be a more balanced approach...

As for Thailand and their citizens' more tactile approach, I don't mind it and I must say I prefer it to the PC west - it feels more natural and healthy to live in a society where people are not afraid to appreciate the joy and beauty of the young without fear of being labeled a criminal. I have had my arm touched numerous times by both the young and old, male and female. Never bothers me...

Touchy subject (pun intended) with a big gray area and lots of raw emotion involved...

[TAWP]

Do your shopping in Villa and Tops instead of Tesco/BigC/Carfour and no one will touch your children there(my guess).

Is there really a class-difference between Tops and BigC? I usually go to Tops since BigC is in the other side of the mall and I am lazy...

[TAWP]

In my family, we really don't like strangers to touch our little members also.

Embarrassed about the size?

Sorry, couldn't help myself...

..eeiiii.. What do you mean? Sorry, I don't get it.

Are you ON or OFF topic? Heyyyyyyy...... better not do the hijacking...

Well..as many considerations, 'size' is pretty perfect, I got no any complaints..lol

Many addict to this "size"..haha..Sorry, couldn't help myself..(also)

Btw, TAWP, are you my SpicyMan?

Hah, my apologies, didn't actually check your profile and therefor failed to notice that you where a woman that posted it.

And the SpicyMan reference is lost on me, but since your profile says you are 9 years old I decline to answer that on grounds that my answer might incriminate me.

[tigerboy]

as a guy, i find everyone elses kids annoying

U hit the nail on the head man!

[Lorin]

Do your shopping in Villa and Tops instead of Tesco/BigC/Carfour and no one will touch your children there(my guess).

Is there really a class-difference between Tops and BigC? I usually go to Tops since BigC is in the other side of the mall and I am lazy...

U r not Thai, and you not gonna touch someone's else kids anyway, right?

[astral]

Seems like people just think your daughters are cute. You should be proud not pissed off.

IMO mixed race people are often much more beautiful than pure breed.

Take it as a compliment.

[imaneggspurt]

My two daughters are younger and wherever we go they will get a lot of attention. What annoys me is that it is only because of their skin colour……this is racism and I hate it.

That's racism is it?

Seems like people just think your daughters are cute. You should be proud not pissed off.

I agree. leave your western worries over there, im sure its all innocent here, i have had this many times with my daughter, dosent bother me at all,when she was younger girls would come out of shops in MBK and scoop her up,and carry her off ! all in good fun i feel,. relax

[imaneggspurt]

I don' t have kids but can imagine the in built duty to protect your offspring.

However, I do feel a tad uneasy at the way a lot of western parents seem too over protective - it is not my business how they choose to raise/look after their kids of course, but IMO giving kids a healthy education in 'stranger management' and accepting the risks would be a more balanced approach...

As for Thailand and their citizens' more tactile approach, I don't mind it and I must say I prefer it to the PC west - it feels more natural and healthy to live in a society where people are not afraid to appreciate the joy and beauty of the young without fear of being labeled a criminal. I have had my arm touched numerous times by both the young and old, male and female. Never bothers me...

Touchy subject (pun intended) with a big gray area and lots of raw emotion involved...

Excellent, well said

[MidoriApple]

In my family, we really don't like strangers to touch our little members also.

Embarrassed about the size?

Sorry, couldn't help myself...

..eeiiii.. What do you mean? Sorry, I don't get it.

Are you ON or OFF topic? Heyyyyyyy...... better not do the hijacking...

Well..as many considerations, 'size' is pretty perfect, I got no any complaints..lol

Many addict to this "size"..haha..Sorry, couldn't help myself..(also)

Btw, TAWP, are you my SpicyMan?

Hah, my apologies, didn't actually check your profile and therefor failed to notice that you where a woman that posted it.

And the SpicyMan reference is lost on me, but since your profile says you are 9 years old I decline to answer that on grounds that my answer might incriminate me.

oii...my apology as well.. Your words sounded so familiar, so thought u might be one I know (but forgot his name..lol), we talked of spicy food when met. Sorry...don't mean to insult u at all.

[TAWP]

Do your shopping in Villa and Tops instead of Tesco/BigC/Carfour and no one will touch your children there(my guess).

Is there really a class-difference between Tops and BigC? I usually go to Tops since BigC is in the other side of the mall and I am lazy...

U r not Thai, and you not gonna touch someone's else kids anyway, right?

Uh, no, but I go there with my luk krung son, so...

[TAWP]

oii...my apology as well.. Your words sounded so familiar, so thought u might be one I know (but forgot his name..lol), we talked of spicy food when met. Sorry...don't mean to insult u at all.

Not insulted, no offense taken, I just didn't know what it meant.

I have meet a lot of people but very few that admit they are on ThaiVisa.

[anon345535]

what really annoys me is when i am holding my daughter (nearly 2) and a thai women will just try and take her out of my arms without saying anything to me. they all get a nice loud "fuck off" just to make sure there is no misunderstanding!!

[remy1960]

Thais probably have a reason to 'wai' and not shake hands. Touch is very personal. If they do not like to shake hands with each other, you can only imagine where these hands have been before touching your daughter. Maybe up there noses, wiping their backsides, who knows. I certainly wouldn't like it.

[Neeranam]

Instead of getting her name sewn on the uniform, I've opted for one of the following.

Sorry, can't copy the t-shirt photos -

They said "Don't f***ing touch"

and "Haphephobic, Don't Touch"

Edited April 28, 2009 by Neeranam

[GuestHouse]

And an observation on Thai culture - Thais do not go around touching, pinching, picking up, tickling or in anyway messing with the children of other Thais that they do not know - IT DOES NOT HAPPEN.

Guesthouse, I really wonder if you live in Thailand? If you are here, just what part of Thailand do you live in? Thais regularly touch, hold, pick up the children of other Thasi that they do not know. Not saying that they all do it, but it is not even close to being unusual. I am simply stunned that in all your supposed time here you could say that. I would be interested if other people living here for some time would comment on whether Guesthouse's observation is accurate or not.

It seems old chap that you have your answer, and that from what is being said in the threads above, there are a number other members who agree with the observation I've made in "all my supposed time here".... stunning as that might be.