Jump to content



Obsession About Losing Face


Familyonthemove

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 66
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Do you forget that 'face' used to exist in western cultures but we grew out of it?

In mediavel Europe we used to have nothing but face and honour and where did that get them? Not very far!

Duels, Blood Revenge and all that comes along with placing a big imporance on outwards appearance.

The west took of compared to the rest of the world once it started putting importance on SUBSTANCE not APPEARANCE. I know many asians outside asia who think 'face' is a stupid superficial thing that serves no purpose in a modern world.

Yes we may have gone to far in the west where <deleted> will throw insults at you for no reason, but 'face' doesnt go to well with my moral values i.e. you judge people on their VALUES and BEHAVIOUR not on what little circus acts they put on.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just wondering....

Is having a daughter/girlfriend that works as a bargirl, bar dancer, prostitute considered as a "lost of face" here?

No, they all work for "Beautiful Eyes", "Top Chaloern", in a 7/11, in a Restaurant,

or are cashiers, accountants....

none of them is in the trade..! None!

And back home, even most are suspicious, it's a welcome story!

Face saved!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just wondering....

Is having a daughter/girlfriend that works as a bargirl, bar dancer, prostitute considered as a "lost of face" here?

Wife.....she son work Pataya

Me.......oh what is he doing there?

Wife.....she not happy he not finish school

Me.....What he work in Pattaya?

Wife.....She not happy...I don't know he work what...he work

The boy in question was the village lady boy....does that answer your question on how they deal with it??

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Good answer Samuian. Lying to save face.....

My mum does that too. She wanted to collect more rent from her tenant cos she moved in a few days before the agreed starting date of the lease so she lied to the tenant saying, "My son said you should pay for the extra 2 days" just because it could help her to "save face". It didn't occur to my mum that she made me "lose face" in the process. Hehehe......

Edited by SGDude
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Last year whilst in the wifes village,her uncle Who happens to be the village boss was sitting opposite the house with one or two guys.As I had just arrived I forgot to adjust and gave him the thumbs up instead of a 'wai'. He has about 15 yrs on me so I have no problem to 'wai'. Later on he told the wife that I had disrespected him. I did apologize in Thai later on in front of his friends. Deep down I wanted to tell him to live with it and move on.

Whenever I go to my wife's moo ban, her mom asks me to go say hello to the neighbors and walk to their house and go "wai" them. I bluntly refused saying that this ain't my culture. If they want to see me, they can get off their houses and come say hello themselves.

I wont be a show off buffalo to give face to my mother-in-law. Thank god my wife adopted western culture and put her mom back to her place. Jeez.

Edited by kudroz
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...
When i moved here 3 months ago, my wife and her sister sat me down and told me i can have girls on the side. I was in shock.

In the US my wife was VERY jealous and possessive.

The only stipulation which they harped on endlessly was "no take girl our condo". I asked why and the sister explained in

great detail of how my wife would lose face if the neighbors saw me with a girl.

Since then she caught me once with a girl inside our place (her job takes her away for days at a time) but didnt freak out, she

just told the girl you can see my husband but dont come my baan. The girl was shi tting her pants as my wife walked in with

2 of her friends. My wife offered her a drink after and we all went for a swim in the pool. It was surreal. I expected WW3. The

poor thai girl couldnt believe it, she was stunned. She was nervous going in the pool lol.

We are planning on moving soon and my wife seems not to care if i have girls over. I am guessing she thinks she will never see

these people/neighbors again so who cares. But talking with her about our new place she is already on me about no girls.

I really thought I was the only one going through the shock of your wife telling you it is allowed to have a mia noi.

Same thing, hotel, her house, but no way in our own house.

Unbelievable.

Edited by hansnl
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.