SGDude Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 If my neighbour told me that... I would probably just smile and say "good for you'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrHammer Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 Do you forget that 'face' used to exist in western cultures but we grew out of it? In mediavel Europe we used to have nothing but face and honour and where did that get them? Not very far! Duels, Blood Revenge and all that comes along with placing a big imporance on outwards appearance. The west took of compared to the rest of the world once it started putting importance on SUBSTANCE not APPEARANCE. I know many asians outside asia who think 'face' is a stupid superficial thing that serves no purpose in a modern world. Yes we may have gone to far in the west where <deleted> will throw insults at you for no reason, but 'face' doesnt go to well with my moral values i.e. you judge people on their VALUES and BEHAVIOUR not on what little circus acts they put on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samuian Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 Just wondering....Is having a daughter/girlfriend that works as a bargirl, bar dancer, prostitute considered as a "lost of face" here? No, they all work for "Beautiful Eyes", "Top Chaloern", in a 7/11, in a Restaurant, or are cashiers, accountants.... none of them is in the trade..! None! And back home, even most are suspicious, it's a welcome story! Face saved! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
473geo Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 Just wondering....Is having a daughter/girlfriend that works as a bargirl, bar dancer, prostitute considered as a "lost of face" here? Wife.....she son work Pataya Me.......oh what is he doing there? Wife.....she not happy he not finish school Me.....What he work in Pattaya? Wife.....She not happy...I don't know he work what...he work The boy in question was the village lady boy....does that answer your question on how they deal with it?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SGDude Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 (edited) Good answer Samuian. Lying to save face..... My mum does that too. She wanted to collect more rent from her tenant cos she moved in a few days before the agreed starting date of the lease so she lied to the tenant saying, "My son said you should pay for the extra 2 days" just because it could help her to "save face". It didn't occur to my mum that she made me "lose face" in the process. Hehehe...... Edited May 16, 2009 by SGDude Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kudroz Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 (edited) Last year whilst in the wifes village,her uncle Who happens to be the village boss was sitting opposite the house with one or two guys.As I had just arrived I forgot to adjust and gave him the thumbs up instead of a 'wai'. He has about 15 yrs on me so I have no problem to 'wai'. Later on he told the wife that I had disrespected him. I did apologize in Thai later on in front of his friends. Deep down I wanted to tell him to live with it and move on. Whenever I go to my wife's moo ban, her mom asks me to go say hello to the neighbors and walk to their house and go "wai" them. I bluntly refused saying that this ain't my culture. If they want to see me, they can get off their houses and come say hello themselves. I wont be a show off buffalo to give face to my mother-in-law. Thank god my wife adopted western culture and put her mom back to her place. Jeez. Edited May 16, 2009 by kudroz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hansnl Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 (edited) When i moved here 3 months ago, my wife and her sister sat me down and told me i can have girls on the side. I was in shock.In the US my wife was VERY jealous and possessive. The only stipulation which they harped on endlessly was "no take girl our condo". I asked why and the sister explained in great detail of how my wife would lose face if the neighbors saw me with a girl. Since then she caught me once with a girl inside our place (her job takes her away for days at a time) but didnt freak out, she just told the girl you can see my husband but dont come my baan. The girl was shi tting her pants as my wife walked in with 2 of her friends. My wife offered her a drink after and we all went for a swim in the pool. It was surreal. I expected WW3. The poor thai girl couldnt believe it, she was stunned. She was nervous going in the pool lol. We are planning on moving soon and my wife seems not to care if i have girls over. I am guessing she thinks she will never see these people/neighbors again so who cares. But talking with her about our new place she is already on me about no girls. I really thought I was the only one going through the shock of your wife telling you it is allowed to have a mia noi. Same thing, hotel, her house, but no way in our own house. Unbelievable. Edited June 1, 2009 by hansnl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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