Clearin' It With Mama

[a2396]

I have recently embarked on a search for a new GF (or at least an upgrade from the frustration of my current one) and I find that most of the prospectives are in quite a hurry for me to meet the family, in particular their Mother. I know this is generally a requirement for a serious relationship, but mine have not progressed to anything like that yet. I have tried to tell some of them that informing the family that they are seeing a Farang will raise many unnecessary complications, such as ideas about money. I don't have a problem with this, if we were contemplating marriage or something, but at this point it is nothing like that. Any comments from our learned freinds out there & your experiences?

[robbiecia]

A lot really depends on what social class you are playing around in.

For lower income families, your concerns may hold true,

but middle class and higher, you shouldn't have any worries.

[JohnGotti]

they are counting their eggs before they hatch

Edited May 9, 2009 by JohnGotti

[GuestHouse]

I think you should focus on clearing it with your current Girlfriend first.

-----

That detail aside, what's this 'need for a girlfriend' thing? - Is life without a woman around you so intolerable that you need to have serial and overlapping relationships?

[Pierrot]

A lot really depends on what social class you are playing around in.

For lower income families, your concerns may hold true,

but middle class and higher, you shouldn't have any worries.

Why ? What's the difference ?

[essexguy]

STOP WITH THE BARGIRLS SIR.

[LadyHeather]

upgrade? You mean, like a phone or a car? Wow. good luck finding a decent girl and a normal relationship then.

[sassienie]

The mother`s have more experience and are more able to suss out how much the OP is worth, better than the daughter.

[G54]

upgrade? You mean, like a phone or a car? Wow. good luck finding a decent girl and a normal relationship then.

[Texpat]

Date orphans.

[orchis]

I think you need to fool a round a lot more before you settle down .

[essexguy]

To be fair to most guys it is quite hard to get involved with office girls and hiso girls. Ive been trying office girls but they dont respond to the "you come my hotel for chat approach".

[mauGR1]

I have recently embarked on a search for a new GF (or at least an upgrade from the frustration of my current one) and I find that most of the prospectives are in quite a hurry for me to meet the family, in particular their Mother. I know this is generally a requirement for a serious relationship, but mine have not progressed to anything like that yet. I have tried to tell some of them that informing the family that they are seeing a Farang will raise many unnecessary complications, such as ideas about money. I don't have a problem with this, if we were contemplating marriage or something, but at this point it is nothing like that. Any comments from our learned freinds out there & your experiences?

I cannot say a have a lot of experience about Thai girls,or girls in general,but i hope the following can help.When i was having the first drink with my gf,i told her:I am very allergic(my body no like)to hay,cats & family.She understood me perfectly

[RAZZELL]

I find that most of the prospectives are in quite a hurry for me to meet the family, in particular their Mother. I know this is generally a requirement for a serious relationship

I think it proves the girls are serious about you. You should be pleased (depending on what type of girls they are )

RAZZ

[a2396]

STOP WITH THE BARGIRLS SIR.

How would you possibly know anything about bargirls or not. The fact is that none of them are bargirls & I don't go looking ther for GF's. Quite an assinine assumption on your part.

[a2396]

I think you should focus on clearing it with your current Girlfriend first.

-----

That detail aside, what's this 'need for a girlfriend' thing? - Is life without a woman around you so intolerable that you need to have serial and overlapping relationships?

Clearing it with the present lady is impossible (she is really not GF, her definition). She is good at what she does for now, but not my idea of a relationship. As for running serial or overlapping relationhsip, do you know how many Thai woman are doing this? Many of them I know think nothing of it and it is their standard practice, so I don't think I'm going to have guilt pangs about it. The present lady has had an ongoing relationship with a Thia "man of means" for the past 7 years. Not bargirls, but not church choir girls either.

[Birdman]

Chances that will change are very minimal. Look for a gf somewhere else.

Edited May 9, 2009 by Birdman

[capco1]

Look at it this way.....If you just won the lotto you'd wanna show off a little also right?

When a Thai reels in a farang.....She wants to show off the new ATM to the family!!

In other words, do yourself a favor and keep doing the things you're doing now......no need to meet any of the family until you're ready to make that plunge. Save the headaches until after you're married!

[WinnieTheKhwai]

Clearing it with the present lady is impossible (she is really not GF, her definition). She is good at what she does for now, but not my idea of a relationship. As for running serial or overlapping relationhsip, do you know how many Thai woman are doing this? Many of them I know think nothing of it and it is their standard practice, so I don't think I'm going to have guilt pangs about it.

Guesthouse is going to have a field day with that line of reasoning.. It shows a really strange mindset and attitude towards Thai women.. Because 'some' Thai women do X, it's therefore okay to do X to a completely different Thai woman I'm meeting next, because, well, she's a Thai woman too so from the same team.

The reason why *some* Thai women (need) to do this is because it's not just a relationship to them, it's income. Much like the way you wouldn't quit one job before securing another because you can't go without salary for too long. Or even working two jobs in Thailand makes sense because without too much in the way of welfare, you kind of need a backup.

Other than that I don't really have too big a moral issue about it, I think some Thaivisa moralists are incredibly cute, but the original poster really was just asking some questions.

Personally I think visiting the family is great! First of all it's enlightning to see her backgrounfd and family, it's good to see what she will look like in 20 years time, and it's just a fun outing to be in a different environment from where you usually hang out. However, if you are not looking for marriage then be very clear that your girlfriend understands this. Possibly also coach/control the way you're introduced.

[a2396]

upgrade? You mean, like a phone or a car? Wow. good luck finding a decent girl and a normal relationship then.

Decent girls & normal relationships? In Thailand (for a Farang)? Where are you living?

[WinnieTheKhwai]

I think 'upgrade' applies more to keeping the existing one but taking her ass to Yanhee for some upgrades.

[a2396]

Clearing it with the present lady is impossible (she is really not GF, her definition). She is good at what she does for now, but not my idea of a relationship. As for running serial or overlapping relationhsip, do you know how many Thai woman are doing this? Many of them I know think nothing of it and it is their standard practice, so I don't think I'm going to have guilt pangs about it.

Guesthouse is going to have a field day with that line of reasoning.. It shows a really strange mindset and attitude towards Thai women.. Because 'some' Thai women do X, it's therefore okay to do X to a completely different Thai woman I'm meeting next, because, well, she's a Thai woman too so from the same team.

The reason why *some* Thai women (need) to do this is because it's not just a relationship to them, it's income. Much like the way you wouldn't quit one job before securing another because you can't go without salary for too long. Or even working two jobs in Thailand makes sense because without too much in the way of welfare, you kind of need a backup.

Other than that I don't really have too big a moral issue about it, I think some Thaivisa moralists are incredibly cute, but the original poster really was just asking some questions.

Personally I think visiting the family is great! First of all it's enlightning to see her backgrounfd and family, it's good to see what she will look like in 20 years time, and it's just a fun outing to be in a different environment from where you usually hang out. However, if you are not looking for marriage then be very clear that your girlfriend understands this. Possibly also coach/control the way you're introduced.

The Thai Visa moralists aren't cute, they are just plain stupid. I think many of them don't live in Thailand or never get off their rocking chair on the front porch (or away from the booze bottle) to see what really goes on here.

I have told her I am not interested in marriage at this early stage of the game, but she is not listening. Farang = marriage = money. She mentioned that her Mother was thinking about 2 million bht sin sod.I think she will be short lived & any relationship will be vetoed by the family, once they realize what the facts are with me.

[G54]

Clearing it with the present lady is impossible (she is really not GF, her definition). She is good at what she does for now, but not my idea of a relationship. As for running serial or overlapping relationhsip, do you know how many Thai woman are doing this? Many of them I know think nothing of it and it is their standard practice, so I don't think I'm going to have guilt pangs about it.

snip

The Thai Visa moralists aren't cute, they are just plain stupid. I think many of them don't live in Thailand or never get off their rocking chair on the front porch (or away from the booze bottle) to see what really goes on here.

I have told her I am not interested in marriage at this early stage of the game, but she is not listening. Farang = marriage = money. She mentioned that her Mother was thinking about 2 million bht sin sod.I think she will be short lived & any relationship will be vetoed by the family, once they realize what the facts are with me.

2 mil?? Ouch.

Did you forget to park that new BMW out of sight

[teacup]

To the OP,

She is serious with you

You aren’t serious with her

So if you're not ready for a commitment, maybe you should drop her tonight…thus saving you from any further annoyances and headaches????

Just say “NO”, and if she doesn’t want to understand that simple word, then prepare to walk away

Why is so difficult, don’t understand?

If you "really" don't want to do something, U just got to put your foot down firmly, thats all.

Just control it firmly from your end, that's all you can do

Take control of your own life, otherwise there are plenty of people out there will do it for you!!!

Edited May 10, 2009 by teacup

[a2396]

To the OP,

She is serious with you

You aren’t serious with her

So if you're not ready for a commitment, maybe you should drop her tonight…thus saving you from any further annoyances and headaches????

Just say “NO”, and if she doesn’t want to understand that simple word, then prepare to walk away

Why is so difficult, don’t understand?

If you "really" don't want to do something, U just got to put your foot down firmly, thats all.

Just control it firmly from your end, that's all you can do

Take control of your own life, otherwise there are plenty of people out there will do it for you!!!

I am serious about her. She is a nice lady, educated & speaks reasonable Englsih & has a real job. However, serious does not mean I am up for marriage right out of the starting gate. Furthermore, any family even thinking about a 2 million sin sod, should give one considerable caution. There will certainly be a big NO to any such ideas and that is likely to be the end of the relationship, since she aparently has to get her Mother's permission to get off "square one".

[pattaya_girl]

STOP WITH THE BARGIRLS SIR.

Hello and Welcome to Thai Visa, I think you are new here.

Good luck.

[NovaBlue05]

I have told her I am not interested in marriage at this early stage of the game, but she is not listening. Farang = marriage = money. She mentioned that her Mother was thinking about 2 million bht sin sod.

Holy Sh*t !!! Run.....Run like the wind !!