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Posted

I have made up my mind to move from the USA to Thailand permanently in mid 2006. There's no going back once I'm there.

A good friend who already did this already tells me:

The process of reducing the things you have in America, ready for your move, will bring a deepening sense of loss and grief over time. It is an action that psychologically you should prepare yourself for. Leaving the safety of your past life can be a BIG deal. That's why it's good to do it over a peroid of several months."

I already have started to feel some of this. This doesn't mean that I DON'T want to do it... I do... I'm excited by it, but nervous too ! :o

Did anyone else have these feelings... and how did they deal with them.?

ChrisP

Posted

"The process of reducing the things you have... will bring a deepening sense of loss and grief" ???

<deleted>?

What kind of things?

Material possessions?

Most can be purchased here in Thailand at cheaper prices. Most...

"safety of your past life"???

Where could be safer than LOS?

Do you mean "social safety"?... family, friends, the local corner store owner...?

Posted

the process of reducing the things you love... will bring a deepening sense of loss and grief" - "material possessions can be purchased cheaper" - anything else, like fotos, even cds, souvenirs andsoon can be easily brought over!!

if you miss the neighborhood, or thigs like this, sorry : have to stay at home!

but if you prefer the easy and cheap life, the nice climate, the warm and friendly people by still having almost all advantages you had at home, like shopping/going out 24/24h, ...

come and enjoy LOS!

By the way, I have been living in different areas of the world, and every time this meant, living something - but also getting something new! - my experience : think, what you want to take, prepare it and just go!!

don't spent too much time thinking back and forwards, JUST DO IT!

It has worked for many others, why should it not for you??

Posted

If you are that insecure, perhaps you should not be coming here?

Thailand is a very different place - Be Ready for Culture Shock!!

If you are applying for a Retirement Visa you can bring you possessions with you.

A 40ft container will hold a good size household of goods.

Posted (edited)

I'll really miss freezing temperatures and snow and all the McDonalds and reality TV and and gang driveby shootings and registered sex offenders and illiteracy and narcissism and the last stages of Rome.

Just tonight on the news an aspiring actress was shot to death by a gang of muggers and a 12 year old girl was kidnapped and raped by a just released convicted child molestor.

America has my condolences.

Edited by thaistick
Posted
A 40ft container will hold a good size household of goods.

Slightly off topic I know Astral, but do you have any idea of the costs of such a shipment?

(I'm from Perth, AUS)

Posted
A 40ft container will hold a good size household of goods.

Slightly off topic I know Astral, but do you have any idea of the costs of such a shipment?

(I'm from Perth, AUS)

I don't know about down under, but guess, not much different then from europe - roughly same distance!

I had 6 boxes shipped 35x50x60cm each, heavy, but only volume counts! -

they came to pack everything, shipped it air freight to BKK and delivered to Pattaya all within four days - 55.000bt - no hassles with custom or anything!!

guess, if you have time, ship transport a lot cheaper! :o

Posted

sorry, forgot to add, why you not try to call any big int. transports comp in BB, like Schenker, and ask them, if they are doing it? if not, they will probably tell you, whi will! :o

Posted

All good info for the OP to consider.

And, further to Astral's post on bringing possessions with you on a Retirement Visa, you can also bring in personal stuff import duty free if you hold a Work Permit and a Non Imm B Visa. :D

The only exception to the rule is musical instruments. :o

Posted
All good info for the OP to consider.

And, further to Astral's post on bringing possessions with you on a Retirement Visa, you can also bring in personal stuff import duty free if you hold a Work Permit and a Non Imm B Visa.  :D

The only exception to the rule is musical instruments.  :D

when I brought my staff, I was on a normal non o, and receiving comp in LOS gave the info, can bring everything, they will bring it through customs (maybe have to pay 1000-2000, to get it one day faster), but electrical appliances not allowed - if you bring them, don't declare them, was what they said!! :o:D

Posted

You should always preserve an escape route.

I am thoroughly fed up of South East Asia and am plotting my escape.

Fed up of third world hassles, difficulty in finding work, grime and filth, nowhere to walk around. No beauty, nothing that soothes the eye.

I feel like I am a prisoner in my jail cell. I don't even like going outside anymore.

Posted
The process of reducing the things you have in America, ready for your move, will bring a deepening sense of loss and grief over time. It is an action that psychologically you should prepare yourself for. Leaving the safety of your past life can be a BIG deal. That's why it's good to do it over a peroid of several months."

I believe I understand what the poster is saying. I too am planning on moving to Thailand (Phuket). I'm planning on staying a couple of years, but I may fall in love with the place ... and not want to leave.

For me it's not the material possessions that mean anything, I can leave them all behind and say goodbye ... not look back and without regret. However, I still must contemplate where I shall be in 20 years. I'm 44, single, have some resources ... not a lot, but not bad either. The longer I stay in Thailand, the further removed I shall become from the safety ( and necessity) of retirement planning. If I stay for 20 years what will I have saved for my senior years? If I stay for more than 2 years I become increasingly unmarketable back in the USA.

These are very real concerns for a middle aged man to contemplate. There are no easy answers. Now every decision I make comes with a very real cost attached. Although I know I must go ... there is substantial risk. That is unsettling.

Posted
I'll really miss freezing temperatures and snow and all the McDonalds and reality TV and and gang driveby shootings and registered sex offenders and illiteracy and narcissism and the last stages of Rome.

Just tonight on the news an aspiring actress was shot to death by a gang of muggers and a 12 year old girl was kidnapped and raped by a just released convicted child molestor.

America has my condolences.

At least you will not have the snow here.

Posted
You should always preserve an escape route.

I am thoroughly fed up of South East Asia and am plotting my escape.

Fed up of third world hassles, difficulty in finding work, grime and filth, nowhere to walk around. No beauty, nothing that soothes the eye.

I feel like I am a prisoner in my jail cell. I don't even like going outside anymore.

Are you having a bad day TEOS? :o

Posted

I moved here cold, 20 years ago. Never here before. Minimal prep outside of selling my 3 vehicles and cutting my hair. :D

I never once looked back. I knew the moment I landed that I was REALLY home now. Just a feeling of excitement at all the new stuff I was going to encounter. I was also determined to keep my mind and my heart open to these new experiences... Thankfully, I still feel the same excitement in living and learning here as I did then...

Some people can adapt themselves anywhere. Others have a harder time crossing over into a new life....

One thing... Don't burn any bridges back home. "Cover your ass" ... :o

Posted

A psychiatrist friend once told be at an appropriate time that "the most traumatic thing next to your own death in life, is moving". I have moved many times in my life, and not always oerseas, and I believe him right. There is a lot of psychic damage to uprooting yourself from your home and replanting yourself elsewhere, the more exotic the place the harder the adjustment.

Even plants go into shock when they are transplanted.

I have now been here three years and have the same laundry list of complaints, praises and thoughts about the place as anyone here has or for that matter anyone one has anywhere.

However, when I arrived in Bangkok in November, a city I find universally unattractive, after a month on holiday in Manley Beach Australia, a world class resort. I actually was happy to be back in Bangkok, I really felt at home. I was shocked. Even having a coffee at Starbucks on a very busy traffic street was a joy. Arriving at my home in Chiang Mai was even more joy.

I guess I have made Thailand home, as I tend to do anywhere I live, and so ChrisP, remember "the only thing you have to fear is fear itself". How exciting for you!!!

For some reason, I got rid of all my "stuff" before I moved here, knowing nothing fits from one house to another, and having vacationed here, I saw for sale everything I would ever need to make me comfortable in my own home, and that was before the miracle I call HomePro.

Posted (edited)
Leaving the safety of your past life..
This is the point I'm trying to make..^

Ive re-invented myself before in a different country, I know I can do it again...

It's not about leaving material things.. it's about leaving the "safety" and comfort of your everyday life, all the things, situations, friends, experiences and everyday living that you know at home.. And knowing you have to re-learn it all.

There is a lot of psychic damage to uprooting yourself from your home and replanting yourself elsewhere, the more exotic the place the harder the adjustment.

Exactly.

I didn't say I didn't want to do it.. I'm happy at the thought... just for some people it comes with a somewhat emotional cost.. not for others.

ChrisP

Edited by ChrisP
Posted

Material things "The process of reducing the things you have in America, ready for your move, will bring a deepening sense of loss and grief over time" - I gave them all away to my family, friends, and neighbours in the last couple of months, except:

the car, which I sold very cheap to my niece's husband :D

the house, which I made a tidy little profit on :o

Everything else that nobody wanted was taken to the council rubbish dump. :D

As for "Leaving the safety of your past life can be a BIG deal. That's why it's good to do it over a period of several months." - I don't understand how you can leave over a period of months. Once you're on the plane, that's it! Maybe he means you have to say goodbye to people over a period of time. I know I did and, to be honest, it got a bit boring telling people the same details over and over again - what was I going to do, where was I going to stay, etc, etc. I couldn't wait to get out!

Leaving the rest of my past life behind... sure, you will miss some people, miss going to the pub and seeing the gang and it's funny how the tsunami disaster generated phone calls and emails from people in England I hadn't thought about for a long time just checking if I was OK. Those calls made me feel nostalgic for a while, but it didn't last long... :D:D:D

Posted
You should always preserve an escape route.

I am thoroughly fed up of South East Asia and am plotting my escape.

Fed up of third world hassles, difficulty in finding work, grime and filth, nowhere to walk around. No beauty, nothing that soothes the eye.

I feel like I am a prisoner in my jail cell. I don't even like going outside anymore.

This post sums up what I was trying to say.

Thailand can really get to you if you stay a long time.

A short holiday, is just that.

I have seen expats who could not wait for the end of their assignment, to escape, like TEOS.

Others love it and let the hassles wash over them.

My work takes me out of the country a few times a year, and I think that keeps me sane.

Thailand is not an ideal place for everyone.

Posted
Thailand can really get to you if you stay a long time.

A short holiday, is just that.

I have seen expats who could not wait for the end of their assignment, to escape, like TEOS.

Others love it and let the hassles wash over them.

My work takes me out of the country a few times a year, and I think that keeps me sane.

Thailand is not an ideal place for everyone.

For me, I get a reality check by going overseas at least one time a year...

I always can't wait to get back here again. :o

Posted

Chris, I think the extent of 'separation grief' can be exaggerated. If you'd never moved more than a couple of times in your life, if you've had faculty tenure in the same university for 20 years, if you're still in contact with family and friends from 30 years ago - yes, it would be hard to move. And yes, there are culture shocks, adaptations. No number of visits as 'tourist' can prepare you 100% to be permanent 'resident.'

If I know your story, you're retiring from a lifetime career - that's a big move. I did it after 22 years in the same career, and it was as easy as saying "adios" to Texas and "Hola" to Nicaragua when my friend greeted me at the airport in Managua.

If you're an extrovert who needs regular, substantive conversation in English, you'll need to hook up with some expats here (but most of them are.....less than fully desirable as friends, but that's true everywhere).

Say goodbye and don't expect life-long Americans to understand (some will be just plain jealous). Immigrants to America (who inspired me to make my move) will understand, once they overcome their initial confusion ("What? you want to LEAVE America?").

It is so different here, but I still love it. You may feel more liberation than grief at losing all that stuff and all those connections. And after you've been overseas for a year, you'll get reverse culture shock on your return visit home.

Posted
All good info for the OP to consider.

And, further to Astral's post on bringing possessions with you on a Retirement Visa, you can also bring in personal stuff import duty free if you hold a Work Permit and a Non Imm B Visa.  :D

The only exception to the rule is musical instruments.  :o

why yes, just the other day, the Thai Police broke up a huge blackmarket ring dealing in clarinets and trombones... :D

Posted

I hate the corruption in LoS and the lack of rule of law,

but after 28 years in the UK and 28 years in Aus....,

5 years in LoS and I miss it with all it's faults. :o

I haven't missed the UK or Aus for 1 nano second.

Can't wait to get back and let the hassles wash over me as a previous poster said.

Posted

Just a feeling of excitement at all the new stuff I was going to encounter. I was also determined to keep my mind and my heart open to these new experiences... Thankfully, I still feel the same excitement in living and learning here as I did then...

Some people can adapt themselves anywhere. Others have a harder time crossing over into a new life....

One thing... Don't burn any bridges back home. "Cover your ass" ... :o

Great stuff there Ajarn.."Keeping your mind and heart open to new experiences" and "feeling the same excitement in living and learning"

are the essential elements for ANY type of major life transition...

I also see a huge amount of subjectivity in a lot of these posts.

How attached are you to where are now living? Some may feel they're leaving behind a lot ,thus making a huge sacrifice....Others may feel totally miserable in their current circumstances and can't wait to get to LOS.

Pro Thai talks abut the"psychic damage" one MAY incur...I,personally would feel more "damage" moving to a small town in Kansas or a cabin in snow country than in coming to Thailand.

But I agree wholeheartedly in not burning bridges and having an "escape route"...If one maintains Ajarn's mindset,even if one has to do an eventual"about face", nothing is really lost,you just keep on Living and Learning,no matter where you may find yourself.All the best,the Harpman

Posted
I,personally would feel more "damage" moving to a small town in Kansas or a cabin in snow country than in coming to Thailand.

Ohhh, I agree! I would too.. if I had to move there from San Diego! :o

ChrisP

Posted

Ohhh, I agree! I would too.. if I had to move there from San Diego! :o

ChrisP

Or from Thailand too,for that matter! My point exactly,its all very relative,isnt it? (Einstein was right....) But seriously,weighing pros and cons,especially when it comes to making major decisions, can be far from the easiest thing in the world to do. Back to the"escape route"point again that concluded my last post....

Posted

Every time I've made a major move in my life (like moving from UK to USA).. or -"reinventing" my career... I've always had an "excape route" too..

But this time it wil be REALLY hard to do that.

I'm moving, and taking a (small) pension from my work. This pension will keep me WELL in LOS, but not back in USA. If I decide to move away from LOS, I can't go back - to the USA..

I'll be "old", unemployed and practically broke.

:o

ChrisP

Posted

I moved to Saipan 26 years ago. Brought everything I needed as luggage. At that time Saipan had no TV, one radio station, no traffic lights, few paved roads, no international telephone dialing, just a few restaurants and a couple of hotels. That was a major adjustment of lifestyle. But, I liked the place and it felt like no adjustment at all.

Now I'm about to move from Saipan to LOS. Will take almost nothing with me: computer, some clothes and a few personal items.

I suspect that this adjustment will be as easy as the last.

It's all a matter of attitude, not stuff....

Posted
Every time I've made a major move in my life (like moving from UK to USA).. or -"reinventing" my career...  I've always had an "excape route" too..

But this time it wil be REALLY hard to do that.

I'm moving, and taking a (small) pension from my work. This pension will keep me WELL in LOS, but not back in USA.  If I decide to move away from LOS,  I can't go back - to the USA..

I'll be "old", unemployed and practically broke.

:o

ChrisP

LOL!! I would be in the same boat! My only concern is what would happen if I outlive my wife. Unless the exchange rate really tanks, my income should allow me to switch from a marriage to a retirement visa. If I returned to the U.S., I'd probably have to see about getting in one of those retired military retirement homes!

:D

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