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Worst Joke Ever


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A painter, whitewashing the inner walls of a country
outhouse, had the misfortune to fall through the opening and
land in the muck at the bottom.

He shouted, "Fire! Fire! Fire!" at the top of his lungs.

The local fire department responded with alacrity, sirens
roaring as they approached the privy.

"Where's the fire?" called the chief.

"No fire," replied the painter as they pulled him out of the
hole. "But if I had yelled, 'Shit! Shit! Shit!', who
would have rescued me?"

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There was this guy who lost one of his arms in an accident. He
became very depressed because he couldn't imagine life without
playing music, sports and all the other things that he took for
granted.

One day he could not stand it anymore and decided to commit
suicide. He got on an elevator and went to the top of a tall
building to jump off.

He was standing on the ledge looking down and saw this man on
the sidewalk below skipping along whistling and kicking up his
heels. He looked closer and noticed this man didn't have any
arms at all.


He started thinking, what am I doing up here feeling sorry for
myself, I still have one good arm to do things with. There goes
a man with no arms skipping down the sidewalk happy and going on
with his life.

He hurried down and caught the man with no arms. He told him how
glad he was to see him because he had lost one of his arms and
felt ugly, useless and was going to kill himself. He thanked him
again for saving his life and he now knew he could make it with
one arm if that guy could do it with no arms.

The man with no arms continued dancing and whistling and kicking
up his heels.

He asked "Why are you so happy anyway?"

He said "I'm NOT happy, you one-armed ! My ass itches."

Edited by Ron19
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The content of the HTML file.

The Talking Centipede

A single guy decided life would be more fun

if he had a pet.

So he went to the pet store

and told the owner

that he wanted to buy an unusual pet.

After some discussion,

he finally bought a talking centipede,

which came in a little white box

to use for his house.

He took the box back home,

found a good spot for the box,

and decided he would start off

by taking his new pet

to the pub for a drink with him.

So he asked the centipede in the box,

"Would you like to go

down the pub with me today?

We will have a good time."

But there was no answer

from his new pet.

This bothered him a bit,

but he waited a few minutes

and then asked again,

"How about going

down the pub with me ?"

But again,

there was no answer

from his new friend and pet.

So he waited

a few minutes more,

thinking about the situation.

The guy decided

to invite the centipede

one last time.

This time he

put his face up against

the centipede ' s box and shouted,

"Hey, in there!

Would you like to go

to

the pub with me?

.....
This time,

a little voice

came out of the box,

"I heard you the first time!

I 'm putting my shoes on!"

How did you do that ? Was it just a simple copy and paste ?

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The content of the HTML file.

<snipped>

How did you do that ? Was it just a simple copy and paste ?

Yes... simply open the HTML file in your browser and copy/paste the contents.

You need to be careful with this, and you might accidentally release some personal information (like your email address) within the pasted HTML file.

I will go back and remove that file now.

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Of course I won’t laugh said the nurse. I'm a professional.
In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."

Okay then," said Bob, and he proceeded to drop his trousers,

revealing the smallest male part the nurse had ever seen.

In length and width was almost identical to a AAA battery.

Unable to control herself, the nurse tried to stop a giggle, but it just came out.

Feeling Very badly that she had laughed at the man's part, she composed herself as well as she could.

"I am so sorry," she said.I don't know what came over me.

On my honour as a nurse and a lady, I promise that it won't happen again.

Now, tell me, what seems o be the problem?"

"It’s swollen/' Bob replied.
She ran out of the room.

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Please can anyone tell me if it is possible, when navigating a subject (such as "worst joke ever") with many pages, to go to a specific page instead of trawling through from beginning to end, or vice verse.

Thank you.

Yes

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