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Posted

A couple of years ago i was on Samui and I was in a shop with my 10 year old half thai daughter (i have her sole custody and she lives in Oz with me full time), a british lad approached me and was basically accusing me of not being her father and that i was buying a girl toys to come with me, he was basically accusing me of being a pedo! He asked her if I was her father and she said yes. I was angry and embarassed and was close to punching the guy but of course didnt want to do that in thailand maybe causing damage in the shop and being dragged away by the police in front of my kid. She didnt really understand what was going on luckily but she did ask what happened. I have spent a lot of time in thailand with her but this was the first time i have had any trouble like this. I bring her to thailand usually every year and now shes getting older what will some people think.It took a long time to get over it.

Posted

Sounds like a daily Mail or Sun reader.

Thats the British media for you. They have taken this pediophile thing out of all proportions and of course everyone goes to thailand for sex with young children.

Difficult not to let it bother you when you are actually confronted like that. Personally I would of clocked him one.

Posted
A couple of years ago i was on Samui and I was in a shop with my 10 year old half thai daughter (i have her sole custody and she lives in Oz with me full time), a british lad approached me and was basically accusing me of not being her father and that i was buying a girl toys to come with me, he was basically accusing me of being a pedo! He asked her if I was her father and she said yes. I was angry and embarassed and was close to punching the guy but of course didnt want to do that in thailand maybe causing damage in the shop and being dragged away by the police in front of my kid. She didnt really understand what was going on luckily but she did ask what happened. I have spent a lot of time in thailand with her but this was the first time i have had any trouble like this. I bring her to thailand usually every year and now shes getting older what will some people think.It took a long time to get over it.

I hope you are now over this disgusting incident. What a cruel nasty piece of work the guy must have been...sadly there are some ignorant people out there...I guess on the laws of averages you were bound to meet one while visiting Thailand so frequently...let us hope he is the last!

Best wishes

Posted
A couple of years ago i was on Samui and I was in a shop with my 10 year old half thai daughter (i have her sole custody and she lives in Oz with me full time), a british lad approached me and was basically accusing me of not being her father and that i was buying a girl toys to come with me, he was basically accusing me of being a pedo! He asked her if I was her father and she said yes. I was angry and embarassed and was close to punching the guy but of course didnt want to do that in thailand maybe causing damage in the shop and being dragged away by the police in front of my kid. She didnt really understand what was going on luckily but she did ask what happened. I have spent a lot of time in thailand with her but this was the first time i have had any trouble like this. I bring her to thailand usually every year and now shes getting older what will some people think.It took a long time to get over it.

i can understand your point,but to be honest there is nothing you can do about it,let people think what they want to,just ignore them,and you do what you want to.

Posted
A couple of years ago i was on Samui and I was in a shop with my 10 year old half thai daughter (i have her sole custody and she lives in Oz with me full time), a british lad approached me and was basically accusing me of not being her father and that i was buying a girl toys to come with me, he was basically accusing me of being a pedo! He asked her if I was her father and she said yes. I was angry and embarassed and was close to punching the guy but of course didnt want to do that in thailand maybe causing damage in the shop and being dragged away by the police in front of my kid. She didnt really understand what was going on luckily but she did ask what happened. I have spent a lot of time in thailand with her but this was the first time i have had any trouble like this. I bring her to thailand usually every year and now shes getting older what will some people think.It took a long time to get over it.

Sorry but I would have belted him :)

Posted (edited)

It didnt really hit me until I was thinking about it later, and thats when i got a bit paranoid about it, We havent been back to samui since (and i used to live and work there for years) we go to krabi mostly Railay where it is much more accepting of kids and you dont get that sort of guest, or to Phangan where she was born, i never take her to Patong Phuket or other seedy areas, just to shield her a bit from all the negative sides of her, (and my heritage -Aussie!) but she will find out sooner or later.i want her to be proud of being half thai and keep her in touch with thai people.

Edited by maithai99
Posted

You are living in bad times and a lot of bad things happen to our children, I have twin girls and live in Thailand and would like to think that I would be able to rely on carying strangers too when comes to the safety of my children. The British dude could have just ignored you and turned a blind eye, like most people do but no and good for him for the confrontation and probably putting himself at risk because he was caring about the childs well being.

So instead of getting pissed off, you should have thanked the guy for his concern......

Posted (edited)

IMHO, even if this guy falsely asks (and pisses off) 999 legitimate parents, it may still be worth it if the 1000th time he was actually able to prevent something sinister.

Imagine if there was actually a pedo luring your kid away while you were looking at the newspapers? Would you still be pissed that this guy had said something?

P.S. I think i'll never post again, i've reached 1337 status!

<<----

Edited by dave111223
Posted

If it happens again, call the police and get who ever it is who accuses you to make a statement to the police. You may then press charges for the criminal offenses of: Slander (what they say to the police); Libel (any written statement they sign) and false accusation.

Alternatively, just respond with 'can we call the police now so you can file a complaint and I can bring a criminal case against you for false accusation?!'

Posted (edited)
You are living in bad times and a lot of bad things happen to our children, I have twin girls and live in Thailand and would like to think that I would be able to rely on carying strangers too when comes to the safety of my children. The British dude could have just ignored you and turned a blind eye, like most people do but no and good for him for the confrontation and probably putting himself at risk because he was caring about the childs well being.

So instead of getting pissed off, you should have thanked the guy for his concern......

absolutely true, i did think about this aspect later, and yes i agree people need to look out for it, its more the effect it had on me personally and my relationship with my daughter because It had never crossed my mind that i would be viewed that way, it definately is on my mind all the time now, by the way i dont look like an old man with a kid im only a young! 45 year old backbacker

Edited by maithai99
Posted
IMHO, even if this guy falsely asks (and pisses off) 999 legitimate parents, it may still be worth it if the 1000th time he was actually able to prevent something sinister.

Imagine if there was actually a pedo luring your kid away while you were looking at the newspapers? Would you still be pissed that this guy had said something?

P.S. I think i'll never post again, i've reached 1337 status!

<<----

Sounds like a good idea.

You can't go around calling every single father a pedophile in the hope that you might be right at some point.

Posted
I live in Samui , although my daughter is only 3 , I would try to keep her away from areas where we would meet these kind of idiots .

...and that is everywhere.

Posted (edited)
You are living in bad times and a lot of bad things happen to our children, I have twin girls and live in Thailand and would like to think that I would be able to rely on carying strangers too when comes to the safety of my children. The British dude could have just ignored you and turned a blind eye, like most people do but no and good for him for the confrontation and probably putting himself at risk because he was caring about the childs well being.

So instead of getting pissed off, you should have thanked the guy for his concern......

Absolutely agree.

My 19 year old daughter is half Thai, we are often out together around Chiang Mai but no one has ever confronted me enquiring if I am her father or not, even in the past when she was much younger.

Maybe because facially we have a similar appearance.

If anyone did approach me and asked if I am the father? I would say, yes, and thank the guy for concerning himself with the child’s welfare.

Cannot understand why the OP seems to be paranoid about what is only a simple question. Instead he should be grateful that there are some good Samaritans out there who have concerns about the abuse of children. Unless of course he really does have something to hide or the child is adopted and has no family similarities to the father.

I don’t like seeing fat old Farangs walking with youngsters that do not appear to be their children, especially having fathered 3 children myself. On several occasions, have been tempted to approach the Farang and ask the question.

Edited by sassienie
Posted
I live in Samui , although my daughter is only 3 , I would try to keep her away from areas where we would meet these kind of idiots .

...and that is everywhere.

NO - I would say only in the Lamai , Chaweng high street areas - - even then I think if you are a BIT street wise you can avoid situations .

Posted (edited)
i dont look like an old man with a kid im only a young! 45 year old backbacker
Sounds like a good idea.

You can't go around calling every single father a pedophile in the hope that you might be right at some point.

In the OP it says the guy asked him if the child was his daughter, and then asked the daughter if this was her father.

The op says "basically accused me of being a pedo"... so i'm assuming that means that the guy did not actually call or accuse the OP of being a "pedophile".

And if it protects kids, why can't you go around asking every "45 year old backpacker" with a child of a different race if the child is actually theirs.

Edited by dave111223
Posted
I live in Samui , although my daughter is only 3 , I would try to keep her away from areas where we would meet these kind of idiots .

...and that is everywhere.

NO - I would say only in the Lamai , Chaweng high street areas - - even then I think if you are a BIT street wise you can avoid situations .

It was Lamai where this happened,which was always my favorite place in the old days especially the Bauhaus from 90 onwards,

she definately looks half thai and people say see looks like me, this was just a young guy, had probably been drinking, although it was 2 in the afternoon, it was more the way he went about it that i didnt like, he could have taken me aside quietly away from my kid a bit and asked me straight out

it has never happened before or after,

Posted
I live in Samui , although my daughter is only 3 , I would try to keep her away from areas where we would meet these kind of idiots .

...and that is everywhere.

NO - I would say only in the Lamai , Chaweng high street areas - - even then I think if you are a BIT street wise you can avoid situations .

Thais, but no locals, on Samui said to each other "farang chop dek", meaning me while I was swimming with my daughter at a quiete place. That can happen everywhere in Thailand.

Posted (edited)
i dont look like an old man with a kid im only a young! 45 year old backbacker
Sounds like a good idea.

You can't go around calling every single father a pedophile in the hope that you might be right at some point.

In the OP it says the guy asked him if the child was his daughter, and then asked the daughter if this was her father.

The op says "basically accused me of being a pedo"... so i'm assuming that means that the guy did not actually call or accuse the OP of being a "pedophile".

And if it protects kids, why can't you go around asking every "45 year old backpacker" with a child of a different race if the child is actually theirs.

no he didnt say that straight out,but he was a bit agressive and loud in the shop, but when thinking later about it thats how i took it to mean and got me thinking, she was about 10 I was about 42 at that stage surely thats not too much out of the ordinary, and it should read ex backpacker have gone a little more upmarket since the olden days of 80 baht or less for a bungalow

Edited by maithai99
Posted (edited)
i dont look like an old man with a kid im only a young! 45 year old backbacker
Sounds like a good idea.

You can't go around calling every single father a pedophile in the hope that you might be right at some point.

In the OP it says the guy asked him if the child was his daughter, and then asked the daughter if this was her father.

The op says "basically accused me of being a pedo"... so i'm assuming that means that the guy did not actually call or accuse the OP of being a "pedophile".

And if it protects kids, why can't you go around asking every "45 year old backpacker" with a child of a different race if the child is actually theirs.

Because its like asking every middle eastern guy with a beard if he is a terroist. Yeah you might find a bomb in 1 out of 5000 cases. But the 4999 remaining chaps are be left feeling like &lt;deleted&gt; for the rest of the day.

Plus the vast majority of child abuse is carried out by members of the family or close friends of the family, teachers, people in positions of trust.

Edited by Geekfreaklover
Posted
A couple of years ago i was on Samui and I was in a shop with my 10 year old half thai daughter (i have her sole custody and she lives in Oz with me full time), a british lad approached me and was basically accusing me of not being her father and that i was buying a girl toys to come with me, he was basically accusing me of being a pedo! He asked her if I was her father and she said yes. I was angry and embarassed and was close to punching the guy but of course didnt want to do that in thailand maybe causing damage in the shop and being dragged away by the police in front of my kid. She didnt really understand what was going on luckily but she did ask what happened. I have spent a lot of time in thailand with her but this was the first time i have had any trouble like this. I bring her to thailand usually every year and now shes getting older what will some people think.It took a long time to get over it.

Sorry but I would have belted him :)

I think you should look at this in a positive way. What if you were a pedophile. A child could have been saved. i think that would be more important than your pride

Posted

I really believe you were dealing with an idiot, probably on his first 2 week package holiday to Thailand. Although you didn't say it I would guess as she lives with you in Oz you were talking in English and it should have been apparent to anyone with half a brain that both by speech and appearance this was not a local child. I think you will find in the years to come your daughter, like mine, will get into the habit of sayng "Dad" frequently and loudly when around farangs. As for punching him, well my daughter is 14 now and I believe he would have got a clump....from her!!

I also think in your situation there are certain places best avoided and Samui would be one of them these days....not really a problem for me as I dislike the way its developed over the years and if I'm heading for a beach holiday tend to head down to Langkawi instead which is generally more of an idiot free zone anyway.

Although I think the situation you find yourself was unusual you'll find you get even more looks as she gets older and you just have to develop a thicker skin...easier said than done as I and others on these forum know only too well. Good luck.

Posted

About 3 years ago i had taken my gf brother to Jomtien to watch the football,and some people asked if i was gay,that was bad enough but if the brit had said that to me i would have thrown him thru the window.

Posted

Fair enough some great advice , I have got a thick skin, thanks for the replys just wanted to get some perspective on it, I too dont like the way Samui is heading but thats another forum!

Posted

Sorry to tell most of you but pedophiles do not walk around in public with their victims. It is one of the most hated crimes in the world and everyone is on the lookout for it, you would have to be truly mentally disabled to flaunt your victimisation of a child in public for all to see. If you really think you approaching every dad with his kid is helping the world crack down on pedophiles you are kidding yourself.

Posted (edited)
i dont look like an old man with a kid im only a young! 45 year old backbacker
Sounds like a good idea.

You can't go around calling every single father a pedophile in the hope that you might be right at some point.

In the OP it says the guy asked him if the child was his daughter, and then asked the daughter if this was her father.

The op says "basically accused me of being a pedo"... so i'm assuming that means that the guy did not actually call or accuse the OP of being a "pedophile".

And if it protects kids, why can't you go around asking every "45 year old backpacker" with a child of a different race if the child is actually theirs.

Well if you think its a good idea take yourself off to Pattaya and do it. You'll be easily recognisable by all the sticking plasters.... :)

Edited by roamer
Posted (edited)
Because its like asking every middle eastern guy with a beard if he is a terroist. Yeah you might find a bomb in 1 out of 5000 cases. But the 4999 remaining chaps are be left feeling like &lt;deleted&gt; for the rest of the day.

Plus the vast majority of child abuse is carried out by members of the family or close friends of the family, teachers, people in positions of trust.

If i saw a middle eastern guy with a beard and one of those big white sheet outfits getting on the subway with a dodgy looking backpack i'd hope they'd be someone to look it the bag first. Who gives a shit if 4999 people have a shitty day, if it means even 1 person doesn't get blown up.

And i stick by my initial statement, of "who cares if 10000 parents feel annoyed for a 5 seconds if it stops 1 kid getting from getting abducted."

Your utilitarian view of :

4999 annoyed arabs > 1 bomb

or

1000 embarrassed parents > 1 abducted kid

Is IMHO bogus, and you cannot weigh annoyance or embarrassment against a persons safety, or a human life.

And to the OP next time just say "Thank you for your concern; yes this is my daughter"...and go on your merry way. Instead of still thinking about it 2 years later.

Edited by dave111223
Posted
It didnt really hit me until I was thinking about it later, and thats when i got a bit paranoid about it, We havent been back to samui since (and i used to live and work there for years) we go to krabi mostly Railay where it is much more accepting of kids and you dont get that sort of guest, or to Phangan where she was born, i never take her to Patong Phuket or other seedy areas, just to shield her a bit from all the negative sides of her, (and my heritage -Aussie!) but she will find out sooner or later.i want her to be proud of being half thai and keep her in touch with thai people.
You sound like a good dad, take no notice and to offer a famous quote " forgive them for they know not what they do " which il go on to translate how i see it as , " ignore the tw@ts "! :)
Posted
Because its like asking every middle eastern guy with a beard if he is a terroist. Yeah you might find a bomb in 1 out of 5000 cases. But the 4999 remaining chaps are be left feeling like &lt;deleted&gt; for the rest of the day.

Plus the vast majority of child abuse is carried out by members of the family or close friends of the family, teachers, people in positions of trust.

If i saw a middle eastern guy with a beard and one of those big white sheet outfits getting on the subway with a dodgy looking backpack i'd hope they'd be someone to look it the bag first. Who gives a shit if 4999 people have a shitty day, if it means even 1 person doesn't get blown up.

And i stick by my initial statement, of "who cares if 10000 parents feel annoyed for a 5 seconds if it stops 1 kid getting from getting abducted."

Your utilitarian view of :

4999 annoyed arabs > 1 bomb

or

1000 embarrassed parents > 1 abducted kid

Is IMHO bogus, and you cannot weigh annoyance or embarrassment against a persons safety, or a human life.

The London tube bombers were not wearing white sheets, but dressed like most kids of their age with UK accents. They would have passed your checklist.

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