Sin Sort / Dowry Experiences

[koheesti]

Here we go again

Have you thought about doing a thai visa search on this topic OR were you turned off by the 200 other threads about this & just thought you would add one extra.

Remember the golden rule in Thailand......"A fool and his money are easily parted".

I heard it was, "A fool and his money are easily parted - but the sex is great!"

[cognos]

Hi folks. My first thai gf explained sin sort to me, and outlined clearly her expectations should we ever marry . She was an only child and her parents were not too well off, so she gave close to half her pay cheque to them. The story was that her Dad lent his car to a relative, who got in an accident and was charged with something like vehicular homicide. Her Dad as a result lost all his savings, as the relative had no money. She therefore required a large sin sort to help her parents. Her niece had married a German guy and he had paid half a million Baht as sin sort. The gf said since she had more education than her niece (and to not lose face ) she would want the same amount at least. She was a decent person, but we went our separate ways. Later I was blessed and met the future wife, and sin sort was brought up by her. She half j ked that 2 million baht was the amount of sin sort I would have to pay her Dad, "but never mind because my Dad has enough money ( her family is large and varies from one quite rich family member to mostly middle class ), and you will get it back." Later she decided 200,000 Baht was plenty along with 2 Baht of borrowed gold from a sister for show. 200 one thousand baht bills looks pretty pathetic and miserly , so she cleverly told me to get the money in new 100 baht notes. We went to a few banks in Phuket, but none had new notes..a distant relative worked in a bank so we went there and got them..it looked like alot until you knew they were hundreds. The next morning her sister came over to our house with a bag, full of the 200,000 Baht. Even though her Dad doesn't need the money, we gave him 20,000 B and now 10,000 B a couple times a year as tradition and a small token of respect..just wondering what your good or amusing sin sort experience was like or you heard about. Be safe..

Ever heard of something called a paragraph or was this a deliberate format?

sorry about that..wrote this months ago, and since have learned that paragraphs are much easier for folks to read.

signed: got the sin sort returned the next day, paragraphs or not

[a2396]

The basis of the Sin sod . is to show the mother in law's family that you are able and have the money to take care of their daughter etc.

If this is about taking care of their daughter, why would they keep the money to use for their own purposes, which many do?

[a2396]

360,000 asked for.

I refused.

250,000 was next.

I refused.

180,000 after that.

I refused.

In the end I paid for the wedding, clothes, photos, food and reception, 2 Baht gold & a small amount of cash.

My reasons for refusing were on the grounds she had already been married and had 2 kids. But to make a token gesture was acceptable to me. Anything more and I would have walked - should have

Total 80,000

Well, someone had to pay for the party

360.000 asked for a woman who was married before and has two children? This is good example of how stupid Thais think Farangs are, when it comes to this. Do you think they would have the balls to suggest such to a Thai, if they could even find one to marry her?

And 360 was a low end quote.

I have been asked for a lot more than that by others.

In this case it was an Aunt who was doing all the pushing. The family (mother and father) never asked for anything at all even though they do not have much money. They could not even afford to replace the broken food cabinet - I strained my wrist as I dug deep into my wallet and bought one for 2,500.

In those few instances where they ask for ridiculous sums of money. I get the feeling they tot up the family debts and use that as a yardstick for sin-sot.

I have had 2 Thai women tell me that a Thai man would never marry them. On asking why they replied it was because they already have children. Not sure if that is usually the case or not. If it is, it is a bleak outlook for many women.

I think they mean a formal marriage where they would get sin sod. If they are cute, some Thai man might live with them & pretend to be married.

[CHINWA]

well .. Giving is end less ..

if you want to stop giving you have a few choice , die . or live alone ..

the job of a husband is to provide , if you want to play the reciving end .. get older faster and have kids .

and when there grow up ..

go think about how you feel when your kids or son in law say .. go earn your own money when you are old ..

the simple cycle of givign and taking go on in thailand and the young feed the old .. maybe this do not come across you . -- that why so many old lonely guy is here in thailand cos their kids had choose not to take care of them .. and there end up in thailand or have no relative who give a dam_n about how there live ..

---

i would not want to impl my value on you .. but .. to say the thai way of living is wrong .. when it come to sid sod .. i stand wth my wife on this .. If you refuse to pay the sin sod and all kinda of excuse you give .. go back to your country . i am sure you live a better live there ..

seriously i heard so much complain but at the end of the days all this barking complain is those who CHOOSE to stay here and compare to their country thailand is still better ..

this complain noise making people would never stop .. there will alway find excuse and the perfect life .

.

if one can't even handle his own family and have to grant here . in my personal view . you are not ready for a marriage in thailand ..

many use the excuse of love to stay here for the reaosn of cheaper visa , i would not want to go on more ..

there is all kinda excuse to get marriage i wonder how many did get married cos of love .

--

if you can't even afford 200- 300k in thailand how you going to take care of your wife ..

-

thailand maybe cheap

but having a house , cars and all kinda spending add up is not going to be less then 500k

even with second hand cars and small thai studio apartment ..

how cheap you want it to be ..

-

so what would be the perfect . marriage for you .

someone rise her kids ..

when she grow up she go marry a farang whom don't give a dam_n about family -

love her 100% but would live in law dr even when there need help ..

how about in return .. you demand a sin sod

whahahha grow up kids ..

you may be marreid a 100 times in state but getting married in asia is far more responsbility

--

all i see is people who is trying to aviod responsibility ..

i suggest you stick to the Bars ..

This post is even more ridiculous than your previous one. Parents like me "farang" and my Thai wife have been preparing our future for the past 25 years to make sure we don't depend on others. To make sure someone will be able to take care of your daughter you should first to ask yourself if you've prepared her not to depend on others. Sin Sod sometimes sound like the immigration requirement of a deposit of 400K to make sure you can survive here... no matter how long you have been married and how much the couple has invested in the country. Are this the family values you defend? if so keep the values to yourself because this is not give and receive! and by the way, I don't drink so, the suggestion of sticking to a bar will not work for me.

[torrenova]

Hilarious thread!

Sin Sot,what a complete load of borrocks!

Why would anyone pay to get married???

Agreed, but it is a bit of a laugh as those who have been conned into paying try to squirm their way out of being labelled as stupid. The excuses they post up are hilarious. Well worth the posting of another thread on sinsot.

[Loz]

I think this a golden gateway.

You see if you are gulible enough to pay a sin sod, you can probably be duped into thinking that wives (like cars and homes) require monthly payments. Then they (the wives) can stop buying lottery tickets. There ship has well and truly come in!

My folks are married, they both have access to joint bank accounts. Is that just too old fashioned. should they get with the progamme and sit down and work out how much my mum should be trusted with every 4 weeks? Yeah, thats sounds much more trusting and romantic. A real "two hearts beating as one" kind of life...

[Source]

Well to all the "western developed country citizens" on this board,

I'm from the UK and I think that this sin sod is a load of tosh. Because we can offer a Thai girl something that a Thai bloke could never offer and that is full citizenship to our own countries. So bearing that in mind I reckon that this sin sod should be the other way round - the brides family should pay the farang.

But I can't help agreeing with that previous poster that stated along the lines:

"It's no different than paying 2000 baht (well it's 500 baht out here in Kalasin (if you use your head even cheaper)) a night of full sex and at least you can upgrade your model every couple of years!"

I don't like to say this as it this possibly will offend, but I think that sin sod here is the same as the family pimping off their own daughters.

However there are some Thai ladies who don't agree with this sin sod either. Things are changing with the times here. More Thais having sex before marrage etc. It won't be long until this sin sod will be phased out here.

[way2muchcoffee]

Ya no Thai and I mean NO thai man would ever pay a dime of sin sod for a previously married women and it would GREATLY insult the thai husband to be if it was mentioned.

That is simply not true. I personally know of a woman who has been married three times to Thai men. The most recent wedding was last year. She elicited sin sod from every one of those Thai men. Granted it was merely a token by the third wedding, 20,000 bt, but nevertheless some Thai men will pay sin sod for a previously married woman.

Edited March 6, 2010 by way2muchcoffee

[BigWheelMan]

Can you not pay by cheque? Rubber Cheque even better!!

That`s a great idea.

And how about being able to purchase a wife on credit or on the never, never?

That would be great, because if you become bored with her after a couple of years, just seize making payments and the finance company will send in a repro man to take her away.

[kikoman]

I paid no Sin Sot,as my wife had already been married and had two children which, I care for., No Sin Sot was ever asked for none was ever paid. The family was glad to see my wife get married and now, has a house of her own for our two children and someone to care for her.

We had a quiet wedding at the Amphur, held a small party and during the course of the party, announced that we were man and wife, I have a good relationship with my in-laws, there was no hurt feelings or no loss of face.

The only person I had to prove to that I could financially care for my new family, is my wife! I do lend money to her family at times and have always been promptly paid back and we at times have borrowed money from the family, that is always paid in full.

If my wife had never been married before, I would have paid 100,000 baht in Sin Sot the Thai price and would have had a large Thai wedding.

I could not pay the price for my wife as she has proven to be a excellent wife and friend, and a good and caring wife/daughter to me and her family.

If a relationship is pegged on how much money you are willing to pay, for the right to marry. It is in your destiny that it will fail , If it is for Love it will stand against the test/ravages of time.

What ever option a person chooses, personally is their business, what I do not understand is why it is an issue after the fact.

Good Luck!

Cheers:

[tooninthai]

Ya no Thai and I mean NO thai man would ever pay a dime of sin sod for a previously married women and it would GREATLY insult the thai husband to be if it was mentioned.

That is simply not true. I personally know of a woman who has been married three times to Thai men. The most recent wedding was last year. She elicited sin sod from every one of those Thai men. Granted it was merely a token by the third wedding, 20,000 bt, but nevertheless some Thai men will pay sin sod for a previously married woman.

An old topic but this post caught my eye (a quiet night now football has finished)

I also know of one woman who has been married 5 times !!

Yes, she got sin sot every time and you should see the size of her house. She is the talk of the village.

There must be some suckers out there

[richard_smith237]

A lot of opinions on here with little fact....

If I was to be married in England I wouldn't expect to pay sin-sod to the family of my Thai wife ... But I married in Thailand so I followed tradition - (clarifier > the amounts my Thai friends paid for a woman of similar social standing, similar amounts to that of which her cousins family received) We discussed the appropriate amount given her education and status without any ridiculous inflation or showing off...

In short - Sinsod returned and all moneys received at the wedding were ours.

In our case, Sinsod is / was a respected gesture and done simply becuase everyone else does it...

>>> Want to question tradition ??? Why do we wear wedding rings ?? why do western girls wear white wedding dresses that cost $1000's ??.... lets question our own traditions and put those others into perspective before we pass judgement <<<

[richard_smith237]

A lot of opinions on here with little fact....

If I was to be married in England I wouldn't expect to pay sin-sod to the family of my Thai wife ... But I married in Thailand so I followed tradition - (clarifier > the amounts my Thai friends paid for a woman of similar social standing, similar amounts to that of which her cousins family received) We discussed the appropriate amount given her education and status without any ridiculous inflation or showing off...

In short - Sinsod returned and all moneys received at the wedding were ours.

In our case, Sinsod is / was a respected gesture and done simply becuase everyone else does it...

>>> Want to question tradition ??? Why do we wear wedding rings ?? why do western girls wear white wedding dresses that cost $1000's ??.... lets question our own traditions and put those others into perspective before we pass judgement <<<

[richard_smith237]

A lot of opinions on here with little fact....

If I was to be married in England I wouldn't expect to pay sin-sod to the family of my Thai wife ... But I married in Thailand so I followed tradition - (clarifier > the amounts my Thai friends paid for a woman of similar social standing, similar amounts to that of which her cousins family received) We discussed the appropriate amount given her education and status without any ridiculous inflation or showing off...

In short - Sinsod returned and all moneys received at the wedding were ours.

In our case, Sinsod is / was a respected gesture and done simply becuase everyone else does it...

>>> Want to question tradition ??? Why do we wear wedding rings ?? why do western girls wear white wedding dresses that cost $1000's ??.... lets question our own traditions and put those others into perspective before we pass judgement <<<

[cdnvic]

>>> Want to question tradition ??? Why do we wear wedding rings ?? why do western girls wear white wedding dresses that cost $1000's ??.... lets question our own traditions and put those others into perspective before we pass judgement <<<

[Heng]

It's not a question of "getting it back" because during the traditional ceremony

-this is assuming newlyweds of equal social standing-

because the cash, gold, property deeds don't really go anywhere, except maybe from one room to another room (presumably in your house, or from one hotel conference room to a dressing room or waiting room). There's no reason for the cash being redeposited into your bank accounts, the gold back into your safe, etc. within a few hours, and the property deeds, well, hanging out at the land dept. for 3-4 hours waiting for a transfer of ownership is definitely NOT part of any traditional wedding ceremony. There are some serious issues to consider if you think that your personal property might vanish when surrounded by family members on your wedding day.

[Heng]

>>> Want to question tradition ??? Why do we wear wedding rings ?? why do western girls wear white wedding dresses that cost $1000's ??.... lets question our own traditions and put those others into perspective before we pass judgement <<<

It's a non issue because most of the guys complaining about sin sod probably aren't having their wives fitted for Vera Wang or Cartier either.

[tigerfish]

>>> Want to question tradition ??? Why do we wear wedding rings ?? why do western girls wear white wedding dresses that cost $1000's ??.... lets question our own traditions and put those others into perspective before we pass judgement <<<

and er, thais dont! most thais i know, not only wear a gold wedding band, but it also has a great big chunky rock of some sort stuck on top of it. and there are many thai women that get married in a exspensive white dress.

Edited March 7, 2010 by tigerfish