Boo Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 This shoudl technically got to the jokes forum but thought the ladies might get more of a laugh out of it. It is so scarily true though....... New Standard Operating Procedures released today. Please learn. BBQ RULES We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion: Routine... (1) The woman buys the food. (2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables and makes dessert. (3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - drink in hand. (4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three metre exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman. Here comes the important part: (5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL. More routine... (6) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery. (7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another drink while he flips the meat. Important again: (8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN. More routine... (9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauce and brings them to the table. (10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes. And most important of all: (11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts. (12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed her 'night off ', and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GraBangkok Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 Agreed....Spot on mate..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hellohello Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 Great ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lioness Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 Brilliant, and oh so true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 Haha, thank god my husband doesn't barbeque! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucifer Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 What's so funny? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheWalkingMan Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 Hey, I resemble that! Just kidding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IanForbes Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 It's funny because it's true, Boo. Most of us can relate. It's okay if the guy does all the clean up later though. I always did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted June 4, 2009 Author Share Posted June 4, 2009 My mum did actually do a swap once with my step dad after he invited a load of people for a bbq without, yet again, asking her if it was ok, so she said, "tell you what I will do the cooking, you just relax", well when he saw that she wouldn't be the one organising all the other stuff, keeping guests drinks topped up, laying plates etc he quickly realised how much she did when "he" offered to cook that he has never invited anyone else without checking with her first. Smart bird my mum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eek Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 Gawd, how true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrahamF Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 I might take take issue with #3, but I would have to agree with the rest. As a single guy my BBQ's are a bit more informal, rag-tag you might say, paper plates, plastic utensils, byob, etc. Normally, I am guest at these more formal BBQ's and I would have to agree that this is pretty much what happens. I do feel for the wives/girlfriends so I always stop by the market on the way and buy some sort of food for the party and of course I am always good for a case of beer or two! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mssabai Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 Hang on a minute there is something missing... 5a) man's mates converge around the BBQ to discuss correct cooking procedure for steak 5b) debate starts about correct turning procedure, correct amount of blackness on meat, correct fire height etc 5c) same debate moves on to when to take the meat off the grill 8a) men stand around discussing their greatness and explaining to each other why it is that even though a woman cooks for 364 days a year (the wet ones) she would still have no idea when a bit of meat on a grill is 'grilled to perfection' 11a) woman is already on her second bottle of wine after quietly getting through her first during the salad making and couldn't give two sh3ts now! Good one Boo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AbelMagwitch Posted June 23, 2009 Share Posted June 23, 2009 It's because most women don't know to handle meat properly............... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiG16 Posted June 23, 2009 Share Posted June 23, 2009 my new flatmates were talking about a BBQ when the weather warms up (fortunately...or not....its only the start of winter at the moment!) only thing I serve at BBQs are strawberries and chocolate dips Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GraBangkok Posted June 23, 2009 Share Posted June 23, 2009 It's because most women don't know to handle meat properly............... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eek Posted June 23, 2009 Share Posted June 23, 2009 It's because most women don't know to handle meat properly............... Wut..ya mean we dont slap it on the bbq until its scorched and burnt, then serve it when its still raw on the inside? I guess I spoiled the analogy, but better than spoiling yir dinner! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted June 23, 2009 Share Posted June 23, 2009 guess it depends on the woman who has been handling the meat, eek. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fred2007 Posted June 23, 2009 Share Posted June 23, 2009 So how do I stack up? I prepare the meat, make all the salads I cook it and no beer in my hand and wash the dishes after that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiG16 Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 that reminds me of a poem someone sent me years ago something about a perfect man I dont remember the details of the poem, but I remember the last line. it said: 'the perfect man is gay' PPS. no offense meant fred Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mossfinn Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thithi Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 think my mum would agree wif that lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halydys Posted June 27, 2009 Share Posted June 27, 2009 Sorry Boo, you've got it all wrong: Man: Think I'll invite a few friends & BBQ tonight. Woman: That's great, what time do you expect it to be ready? Man: Hmm, about 6. Woman: Great!! I'm going shopping, see you then! If I'm late, please keep mine warm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lite Beer Posted June 27, 2009 Share Posted June 27, 2009 That's not fair. I turn the gas on and fire it up. Then open my beer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abdulrahman Posted June 27, 2009 Share Posted June 27, 2009 Women don't like BBQ. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GraBangkok Posted June 27, 2009 Share Posted June 27, 2009 It's because most women don't know to handle meat properly............... Wut..ya mean we dont slap it on the bbq until its scorched and burnt, then serve it when its still raw on the inside? I guess I spoiled the analogy, but better than spoiling yir dinner! Sorry eek my dirty old mind as in meat n two veg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neverdie Posted June 27, 2009 Share Posted June 27, 2009 These are SOFT OPTION BBQ Rules. Where I'm from, women remain in the laundry and kitchen at all times! The only women allowed at a BBQ are either strippers or Beer wenches. By the fourth line of this post I am wondering how many of the female mods are getting worked up.......so I would like to point out that I am JUST KIDDING & Thank goodness us blokes have you ladies to take care of all the important stuff ....meanwhile all this talk of a BBQ has got me throthing at the mouth for a nice juicy Australian piece of beef, some snags and all that other good stuff that comes onto my plate at a BBQ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted June 27, 2009 Share Posted June 27, 2009 strippers? sounds like you have some interesting bbq parties neverdie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neverdie Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 strippers? sounds like you have some interesting bbq parties neverdie only when i was a few years younger sbk, now im just happy if I can stay awake for the duration of the bbq. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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