Pierrot Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 A couple of month ago we were invited by this neighbour for lunch. The reason was, we learned when we arrived, they had an other foreigner for lunch and they were trying to sell him (actually his Thai wife) a piece of land nearby. Nothing wrong with that so far. The only problem is the husband is also an architect / contractor but a very lousy one. We had some problem with them in the past, we eventually found a solution but we said "never again!". When I told my wife we should warn the new comers, she said it was none of our business, and anyway it was only a land deal. Later we learned more was involved in the deal, including the design of the new house, and of course now they have argument, our neighbours saying the falang doesn't want to pay for their job, him saying they obviously overcharge him for a poor job. Based on our experience, we, actually I, my wife still doesn't want to be involved, think the new comer is right. Should I have warned the new comer during our meeting ? Anyway, he was looking very self confident at the time and i don't think he would have listen to my advises. And we would have end up with trouble with everybody. As usual, my wife is probably right Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnGotti Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 she is right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orac Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 Not your place to say anything. If they had specifically asked for your advice and you had lied to them that would be a different matter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DP25 Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 I think you're better off remaining on good terms with a neighbor than some random stranger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fiddlehead Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 (edited) Unfortunately, when reading your post, i thought that most would say "don't say anything" I have found that i seem to think a lot differently than others and often don't care what others think about me. I probably would've told him. BUT, it may get you killed if you are not very discreet about it. (and very careful about how you do this) So, you have to think: Is it worth it? probably not. I have a situation now where they have built these townhouses near where i live. They were designed and built by the owner (Thai). It is laughable with one floor being only 5 feet high (when asked, he said that would be the babies room) Other things are just as laughable and i doubt he'll ever sell one of them because of these kind of faults in his design. (anyone ever see the movie: "Becoming John Malcovich"?? Luckily, i don't have to say anything as anyone can see for themselves how ridiculous some of these things are. Edited June 20, 2009 by fiddlehead Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steelepulse Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 I would have told the guy to get a few different bids/options and pick the one that was best. Seems pretty common sense to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CelticBhoy Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 During the lunch I would have said to the farang, "I do hope you have more luck than we did while dealing with Somchai." Up to him to then ask you for more details. Better than saying nought and feeling the guilt you now do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary A Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 You chose the right way. Listen to your wife and keep a low profile yourself. I would never listen to a stranger when it comes to business dealings especially Thai business dealings. It's up to the new comer to make his own decisions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnGotti Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 sounds like everyone is an expert on here... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeaceBlondie Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 I'm no expert. I do sometimes give hints to newbies who seem receptive to unsolicited advice. Such as, 'spend a year here before buying or building. Don't trust strangers. Don't believe everything you hear. Your wife is still a stranger.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G54 Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 With your previous knowledge of shoddy workmanship and, I presume, your better knowledge of the land rules and such, I would have thought a quiet, discreet word might have been in order. Then if the strangers had wanted more information you could have advised them or directed them somewhere like TV to get some better insight. Too many people shy away and hide under the bush. What is wrong with people who will not even consider helping someone else along the way and maybe gain themselves some 'merit'? You can bet if the shoe was on the other foot, the Thai people would have been talking to each other. Yes, I would have said something, but discreetly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a2396 Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 Another Farang buying property (and later a house) he cannot own. Need I say more? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MZurf Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 I'm no expert. I do sometimes give hints to newbies who seem receptive to unsolicited advice. Such as, 'spend a year here before buying or building. Don't trust strangers. Don't believe everything you hear. Your wife is still a stranger.' Sound advice. However, could you elaborate on the "Your wife is still a stranger" part? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soutpeel Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 sounds like everyone is an expert on here... oh course...... all arm chair experts.... Reading some of these posts gives me a bit of an insight to some of the types of farang we have on Thai visa.... ....."I am alright jack..... stuff everybody else, especially if its another farang.... If it was me, I would have told him what is going on, or at the very least be careful of what he was getting himself into, if he chose not to take the advice...up to him.... obviously not doing this over the dinner table... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeaceBlondie Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 To elaborate: in my opinion, most people - even lovers - are strangers in the first year. Foreign country, cultural background, language, etc - much more so. The OP does not say the 'newcomer' was long-married, in country many years, etc. I know farang here who married and divorced Thai women, and they never knew the woman's full name, village reputation, work history, etc. Your mileage differs. ///Added: I started separate topic http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/Thai-Partnee...rs-t274563.html about this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neverdie Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 (edited) You could of saved this guy a bit of grief possibly by having a discrete word with him, having said that, you shouldnt feel guilty Pierott, afterall one should do their own homework before jumping in feet first. Edited June 20, 2009 by neverdie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bungy007 Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 You chose the right way. Listen to your wife and keep a low profile yourself. I would never listen to a stranger when it comes to business dealings especially Thai business dealings. It's up to the new comer to make his own decisions. As always, the devil is in the detail - same with the OP's post. The key point is when he talks of how confident the foreigner was. I think you went with your gut and that's the smart move. He probably was enjoying the attention and was 'lording' it a bit. Som Nam na Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daffy D Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 (edited) A couple of month ago we were invited by this neighbour for lunch. The reason was, we learned when we arrived, they had an other foreigner for lunch and they were trying to sell him (actually his Thai wife) a piece of land nearby. Nothing wrong with that so far. The only problem is the husband is also an architect / contractor but a very lousy one. We had some problem with them in the past, we eventually found a solution but we said "never again!". ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You've already got involved and given an opinion. You were invited to dinner specifically to influence the other Farang. Even though you did not actually express an opinion the fact that the Thai contractor was your good friend and had done work for and you were there having dinner together implied he was a good guy. I think you should have dropped a hint to the other Farang, whether he takes the hint or not is up to him but I think we "Old timers" have an obligation to help the new guys. Edited June 20, 2009 by Daffy D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maizefarmer Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 A couple of month ago we were invited by this neighbour for lunch. The reason was, we learned when we arrived, they had an other foreigner for lunch and they were trying to sell him (actually his Thai wife) a piece of land nearby. Nothing wrong with that so far. The only problem is the husband is also an architect / contractor but a very lousy one. We had some problem with them in the past, we eventually found a solution but we said "never again!". When I told my wife we should warn the new comers, she said it was none of our business, and anyway it was only a land deal. Later we learned more was involved in the deal, including the design of the new house, and of course now they have argument, our neighbours saying the falang doesn't want to pay for their job, him saying they obviously overcharge him for a poor job. Based on our experience, we, actually I, my wife still doesn't want to be involved, think the new comer is right. Should I have warned the new comer during our meeting ? Anyway, he was looking very self confident at the time and i don't think he would have listen to my advises. And we would have end up with trouble with everybody. As usual, my wife is probably right ...on this occassion - yes, the wife got it right: stay out of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soutpeel Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 (edited) I think you should have dropped a hint to the other Farang, whether he takes the hint or not is up to him but I think we "Old timers" have an obligation to help the new guys. What..???....Wash your mouth out with soap... ....a member of TV helping out another farang especially a "tourist or even worse a visa runner !!!!....have you gone insane man ??....TV members dont want the new guys in here, their, HiSo, double doctorate, politically connected wives might run off with them, and would be encroaching on their "empires".... Edited June 20, 2009 by Soutpeel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
norwayeagle Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 I would have told him! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caf Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 With your previous knowledge of shoddy workmanship and, I presume, your better knowledge of the land rules and such, I would have thought a quiet, discreet word might have been in order. Then if the strangers had wanted more information you could have advised them or directed them somewhere like TV to get some better insight.Too many people shy away and hide under the bush. What is wrong with people who will not even consider helping someone else along the way and maybe gain themselves some 'merit'? You can bet if the shoe was on the other foot, the Thai people would have been talking to each other. Yes, I would have said something, but discreetly. I think this is the best post on this thread so far. Of course you help someone. Of course you be discreet "not my problem" is a thai trait but that doesnt mean you follow it all the time I try to integrate as much as I can and feel comfortable with. But I don't throw away all moral satndards. A discreet word and then leave it up to him would have salved your conscience. Good post pierrot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H2oDunc Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 You did business with this guy and had nothing but grief! Would you have not liked somebody else who also had the same grief to tell you and warn you against letting this guy do the work ? If the answer is you would not want to know then you are a strange man. I certainly would have told the guy to try to save him going through what you went through. To just let this man walk into a world of grief and possibly financial hardship is very shallow and like those on here saying " say nothing " pathetic yet all to typical of the attitude to each other here in Thailand. And people slag of the Thais!!! I wonder how many Thais would sit back and say nothing if the situation was reversed ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G54 Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 With your previous knowledge of shoddy workmanship and, I presume, your better knowledge of the land rules and such, I would have thought a quiet, discreet word might have been in order. Then if the strangers had wanted more information you could have advised them or directed them somewhere like TV to get some better insight.Too many people shy away and hide under the bush. What is wrong with people who will not even consider helping someone else along the way and maybe gain themselves some 'merit'? You can bet if the shoe was on the other foot, the Thai people would have been talking to each other. Yes, I would have said something, but discreetly. I think this is the best post on this thread so far. Of course you help someone. Of course you be discreet "not my problem" is a thai trait but that doesnt mean you follow it all the time I try to integrate as much as I can and feel comfortable with. But I don't throw away all moral satndards. A discreet word and then leave it up to him would have salved your conscience. Good post pierrot Thanks Maybe some of us do have different moral codes. I was always taught that we are always learning. How else do we learn but from others with greater experience and knowledge than us who pass on their knowledge and experience ?? Also it is for us to do the same, is it not? If people refuse to listen, learn or take into account a kindly word of advice, then that is up to them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cpofc Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 understandably the natural reaction for a farang living in Thailand would be not to rock the boat and say nothing. Your so called friend and neighbour knew exactly that and unscrupulously invited you along to the sales pitch so as to give him silent endorsement and help clinch the deal. Unlike yourself, I won't allow myself to be used in that manner. If what else you say about him is correct then your neighbour does not deseve your loyalty or respect. The whole problem with the world today is that too many people sit with their finger up their <deleted> when they should have done or said something when they knew something wrong was going down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lioness Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 I would have had a discreet talk with him, up to him if he listens or not. I have found most won't listen, they don't want to as they think they know everything especially if they have been coming here on holiday, they are all experts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
norwayeagle Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 understandably the natural reaction for a farang living in Thailand would be not to rock the boat and say nothing. Your so called friend and neighbour knew exactly that and unscrupulously invited you along to the sales pitch so as to give him silent endorsement and help clinch the deal. Unlike yourself, I won't allow myself to be used in that manner.If what else you say about him is correct then your neighbour does not deseve your loyalty or respect. The whole problem with the world today is that too many people sit with their finger up their <deleted> when they should have done or said something when they knew something wrong was going down. Oyess Cpo you hit the nail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
isanb Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 A couple of month ago we were invited by this neighbour for lunch. The reason was, we learned when we arrived, they had an other foreigner for lunch and they were trying to sell him (actually his Thai wife) a piece of land nearby. Nothing wrong with that so far. The only problem is the husband is also an architect / contractor but a very lousy one. We had some problem with them in the past, we eventually found a solution but we said "never again!". ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You've already got involved and given an opinion. You were invited to dinner specifically to influence the other Farang. Even though you did not actually express an opinion the fact that the Thai contractor was your good friend and had done work for and you were there having dinner together implied he was a good guy. I think you should have dropped a hint to the other Farang, whether he takes the hint or not is up to him but I think we "Old timers" have an obligation to help the new guys. I agree Your thai neighbour use you as a moral caution and you let it do Of course you have to be discreet and cannot express ur feeling in front of ur neighbour but what about inviting the farang for a drink the day after to have a privat talk with him ? many people help me when i was a newbie in thailand and when i can i try to give it back, to keep a low profile is to make the Thai game Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheLaughingMan Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 I most definitely would have told him, but of course I have a sense of morality, a rare thing I know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimincm Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 A couple of month ago we were invited by this neighbour for lunch. The reason was, we learned when we arrived, they had an other foreigner for lunch and they were trying to sell him (actually his Thai wife) a piece of land nearby. Nothing wrong with that so far. The only problem is the husband is also an architect / contractor but a very lousy one. We had some problem with them in the past, we eventually found a solution but we said "never again!". When I told my wife we should warn the new comers, she said it was none of our business, and anyway it was only a land deal. Later we learned more was involved in the deal, including the design of the new house, and of course now they have argument, our neighbours saying the falang doesn't want to pay for their job, him saying they obviously overcharge him for a poor job. Based on our experience, we, actually I, my wife still doesn't want to be involved, think the new comer is right. Should I have warned the new comer during our meeting ? Anyway, he was looking very self confident at the time and i don't think he would have listen to my advises. And we would have end up with trouble with everybody. As usual, my wife is probably right I think you are the total a_sewipe,you would have loved a "heads up" if it had been you,probably whingeing and complaining,why didn't you tell me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now