Catholic Horses

[peter991]

One day while he was at the track playing the ponies and all but losing his shirt, Mitch noticed a priest who stepped out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race.

Lo and behold, that horse - a very long shot - won the race.

Before the next race, as the horses began lining up, Mitch watched with interest the old priest step onto the track. Sure enough, as the 5th race horses came to the starting gate the priest made a blessing on the forehead of one of the horses.

Mitch made a beeline for a betting window and placed a small bet on the horse. Again, even though it was another long shot, the horse the priest had blessed won the race.

Mitch collected his winnings, and anxiously waited to see which horse the priest would bless for the 6th race.

The priest again blessed a horse.

Mitch bet big on it, and it won.

Mitch was elated. As the races continued the priest kept blessing long shot horses, and each one ended up coming in first.

By and by, Mitch was pulling in some serious money. By the last race, he knew his wildest dreams were going to come true. He made a quick dash to the ATM, withdrew all his savings, and awaited the priest's blessing that would tell him which horse to bet on.

True to his pattern, the priest stepped onto the track for the last race and blessed the forehead of an old nag that was the longest shot of the day. Mitch also observed the priest blessing the eyes, ears, and hooves of the old nag.

Mitch knew he had a winner and bet every cent he owned on the old nag. He then watched dumbfounded as the old nag come in dead last. Mitch, in a state of shock, made his way down to the track area where the priest was.

Confronting the old priest he demanded, 'Father! What happened? All day long you blessed horses and they all won. Then in the last race, the horse you blessed lost by a Kentucky mile. Now, thanks to you I've lost every cent of my savings - all of it!'.

The priest nodded wisely and with sympathy. 'Son,' he said, 'that's the problem with you Protestants, you can't tell the difference between a simple blessing and last rites.'

[Chris Lawrence]

:D

[GraBangkok]

The

Pastor's Ass

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and

it won.

The pastor was so pleased with the donkey

that he entered it in the

race

again, and it won again.

The local paper read:

PASTOR'S

ASS OUT FRONT.

The

Bishop was so upset with this kind of

publicity that

he ordered the pastor

not to enter the donkey in

another race.

The next day, the local paper headline

Read:

BISHOP

SCRATCHES

PASTOR'S

ASS.

This was too much

for the bishop, so he

ordered the pastor to get rid of

the donkey.

The

pastor decided to give it to a nun in a

nearby

convent.

The local

paper, hearing of the news, posted

the following

headline the next day:

NUN HAS BEST ASS

IN TOWN.

The bishop fainted.

He informed the

nun that she would have to

get rid of the donkey, she

sold it to a farmer for

$10.

The next day

the paper read:

NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much

for the bishop, so he

ordered the nun to buy

back the donkey and

lead it to the plains where

it could run wild.

The

next day the headlines read:

NUN

ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

The bishop was buried the

next day.

The

moral of the story is . .. .

being concerned about

public opinion can bring

you much grief and misery . .

even shorten your life.

So be yourself and enjoy

life.

Stop

worrying about everyone else's ass and

you'll be allot happier

[ThaiPauly]

^ I like that

[Vang2x]

One day while he was at the track playing the ponies and all but losing his shirt, Mitch noticed a priest who stepped out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race.

Lo and behold, that horse - a very long shot - won the race.

Before the next race, as the horses began lining up, Mitch watched with interest the old priest step onto the track. Sure enough, as the 5th race horses came to the starting gate the priest made a blessing on the forehead of one of the horses.

Mitch made a beeline for a betting window and placed a small bet on the horse. Again, even though it was another long shot, the horse the priest had blessed won the race.

Mitch collected his winnings, and anxiously waited to see which horse the priest would bless for the 6th race.

The priest again blessed a horse.

Mitch bet big on it, and it won.

Mitch was elated. As the races continued the priest kept blessing long shot horses, and each one ended up coming in first.

By and by, Mitch was pulling in some serious money. By the last race, he knew his wildest dreams were going to come true. He made a quick dash to the ATM, withdrew all his savings, and awaited the priest's blessing that would tell him which horse to bet on.

True to his pattern, the priest stepped onto the track for the last race and blessed the forehead of an old nag that was the longest shot of the day. Mitch also observed the priest blessing the eyes, ears, and hooves of the old nag.

Mitch knew he had a winner and bet every cent he owned on the old nag. He then watched dumbfounded as the old nag come in dead last. Mitch, in a state of shock, made his way down to the track area where the priest was.

Confronting the old priest he demanded, 'Father! What happened? All day long you blessed horses and they all won. Then in the last race, the horse you blessed lost by a Kentucky mile. Now, thanks to you I've lost every cent of my savings - all of it!'.

The priest nodded wisely and with sympathy. 'Son,' he said, 'that's the problem with you Protestants, you can't tell the difference between a simple blessing and last rites.'

hahaha!