WeeGB Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 I'm currently getting the silent treatment from the Thai missus. This is day one. I get this every few months, usually over nothing at all. Is this common in Thailand, or is it just my misfortune to be married to someone who can't seem to have an argument, but always chooses this method to get her point across? What do others do when they get this treatment? Unfortunately, I'm way up north, with no nightlife, or chance of alternative "comfort", , so I guess for now, I'll be spending a lot of time on the internet. And there's always the dogs to talk to, usually get more sense out of them than her anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheLaughingMan Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 You think its cute and funny and I think its a living nightmare. Living with a person you cant even communicate with. You chose this life, why complain? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lannarebirth Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 Silence is golden. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ukrules Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 What do others do when they get this treatment? You shouldn't put up with this. I suggest you dump her immediately and see how long it takes for her to come to her senses, if she doesn't then you have lost nothing. This might come across as being a little harsh but I don't believe we should put up with any irrational behaviour from women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fred2007 Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 Silence is golden.Get of the grass Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WeeGB Posted June 28, 2009 Author Share Posted June 28, 2009 Silence is golden.Get of the grass Or send some to me - it'll help pass the time until she apologises, which she always does. Just kidding about the grass Mods. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soutpeel Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 What do others do when they get this treatment? You shouldn't put up with this. I suggest you dump her immediately and see how long it takes for her to come to her senses, if she doesn't then you have lost nothing. This might come across as being a little harsh but I don't believe we should put up with any irrational behaviour from women. ...been married more than a few times have you..??? In my experience, just get on with whatever it is you normally do, the silent, pouting treatment is a way to get attention, its a feeble attempt at control.. thats all...its like a baby throwing a trantrum... Its a Thai female trait, that shows immaturity... Just ignore her, play the same game, and you will be suprised to see who backs down first..if asked a question.....stock answer during this time to her is...."up to you"..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swain Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 ahhh the silent treatment.. I should be so lucky!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrbojangles Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 Unfortunately, I'm way up north, with no nightlife, or chance of alternative "comfort", , so I guess for now, I'll be spending a lot of time on the internet. Tell her to give you some advanced notice and the approximate duration of the silent treatment, next time. That way you can book a sightseeing tour of Pattaya for a few days. If she doesn't start talking to you after telling her that, you can just say that you take her silence to mean she agrees that you can go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ijustwannateach Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 If you are normally a reasonable partner and your wife doesn't feel afraid to express herself to you- reality check: do you normally speak to her in a loud tone of voice, cut her off frequently, discourage her from expressing her opinion?- then it is a rather childish and hurtful controlling behaviour. Once the silent treatment commences, if I were you I would start packing up your things. If she didn't resume communication before you managed to pack everything and move out, then you probably are getting out ahead. You both need to talk about ways to have conflicts which involve communication (and there may be some things you have to learn, too). If she doesn't learn another dynamic you'll be stuck with this one. On the other hand, if it's something she's resorted to because she's terrified of disagreeing with you, then you may have a few issues of your own. I know one or two guys who are in a bit of denial over some of their social habits, including how they speak to women- ask your friends who know both of you what they honestly think, and don't shout them down if they tell you something you'd rather not hear. If they seem puzzled you would even ask, then it's probably as above. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JUDAS Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 Thankfully I never get the silent treatment from my wife, ( well, maybe 5 minutes ) she likes talking too much Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WeeGB Posted June 28, 2009 Author Share Posted June 28, 2009 Soutpeel wrote: "Just ignore her, play the same game, and you will be suprised to see who backs down first..if asked a question.....stock answer during this time to her is...."up to you"..... " I've also had the "up to you" scenario many times. What has always worked for me in the past, is to walk around, looking miserable, which usually gets the wife's family to start asking questions of the wife. She usually backs down shortly afterwards. I think that this time though, I'll leave it for a few days, to make her even more crazy, before I do this. In the meantime, I'll try and keep myself amused. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myauq Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 ahh, the classic passive agressive - enough to drive anyone nuts you seem to have a good, patient attitude towards it though, which will help (i think). i've never quite been able to deal with it myself, so i don't have any better advice than anyone so far. i'd guess that direct confrontation may make it worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imaneggspurt Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 Tell her you are off to pattaya for a few days to find somone to talk to, if that dosent loosen her tongue, id go for good . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imaneggspurt Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 Are we talking about an adult or a 5 year old,. ..some of the things you guys put up with i find bizzare,. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mosha Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 Just wait it out, as it sounds like you do anyway. Mine usually ends it by asking a question, then "Oh I forgot, I'm not talking to you." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canuckamuck Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 This might come across as being a little harsh but I don't believe we should put up with any irrational behaviour from women. Live alone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canuckamuck Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 My answer is to make the situation worse. So far I am 100 percent effective at doing this. Even when I am not trying Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WeeGB Posted June 28, 2009 Author Share Posted June 28, 2009 If you are normally a reasonable partner and your wife doesn't feel afraid to express herself to you- reality check: do you normally speak to her in a loud tone of voice, cut her off frequently, discourage her from expressing her opinion?- then it is a rather childish and hurtful controlling behaviour. Once the silent treatment commences, if I were you I would start packing up your things. If she didn't resume communication before you managed to pack everything and move out, then you probably are getting out ahead. You both need to talk about ways to have conflicts which involve communication (and there may be some things you have to learn, too). If she doesn't learn another dynamic you'll be stuck with this one.On the other hand, if it's something she's resorted to because she's terrified of disagreeing with you, then you may have a few issues of your own. I know one or two guys who are in a bit of denial over some of their social habits, including how they speak to women- ask your friends who know both of you what they honestly think, and don't shout them down if they tell you something you'd rather not hear. If they seem puzzled you would even ask, then it's probably as above. I think I'm too reasonable and easy going, probably for my own good. I never shout at her, or cut her off in conversation. Seems to me to be about immaturity and an attempt at controlling me on her part. Can't pack my things - too much stuff here, but if I ever do decide to get out permanently, which to be honest does seem more likely every time this silent scenario starts, I'll make sure I get what's mine. Thanks for the advice though, while the modus operandi doesn't apply to me, possibly someone else may find it useful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tw25rw Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 I'm currently getting the silent treatment from the Thai missus. This is day one. I get this every few months, usually over nothing at all. Is this common in Thailand, or is it just my misfortune to be married to someone who can't seem to have an argument, but always chooses this method to get her point across? What do others do when they get this treatment? Unfortunately, I'm way up north, with no nightlife, or chance of alternative "comfort", , so I guess for now, I'll be spending a lot of time on the internet. And there's always the dogs to talk to, usually get more sense out of them than her anyway. Do you fund her life? Give her the kee niow treatment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valjean Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 I've come to like, and appreciate the silent treatment. I've been in a relationship that things would blow-up into arguments and then you just say stupid things. Now I know if she's upset, I don't say much and go about my business and in a day or a few things are OK and we talk about it. She'll ask nice for me to stop doing something, most of the time I've been unaware or not paying attention to what I do, I agree and then it's make-up sex time! Now if I'm angry about something I've learned some wisdom to letting things setting down a little and take time to reflect. My advice is just let it go. "Trying to get to the bottom of things" or the core issue is useless and just feeds the game. Go about life and in time she will want to talk - and then you should be a nice guy and listen. Lastly I'll say there is a time when it's not a "leave me alone and let us cool off" common sense and it's just f'ing with your head. And for that, especially early in a relationship I'm 100% into the "OK that's fine, I'll go find some company and a hotel, call me when you're in the mood to talk". I did that twice and the BS was over. Now it's just standard quite time (remember the Thai way isn't to fight). Don't let it get under you skin. In it's own way it's a good thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soutpeel Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 Are we talking about an adult or a 5 year old,. ..some of the things you guys put up with i find bizzare,. Bingo...you got it....you have to keep in mind that a large percentage of our esteemed collegues on TV have wives who have not long packed their teddy bears and barbie dolls away... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
isanb Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 silent treatment is not a big deal anyway i don't listen to my wife Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WeeGB Posted June 28, 2009 Author Share Posted June 28, 2009 I'm currently getting the silent treatment from the Thai missus. This is day one. I get this every few months, usually over nothing at all. Is this common in Thailand, or is it just my misfortune to be married to someone who can't seem to have an argument, but always chooses this method to get her point across? What do others do when they get this treatment? Unfortunately, I'm way up north, with no nightlife, or chance of alternative "comfort", , so I guess for now, I'll be spending a lot of time on the internet. And there's always the dogs to talk to, usually get more sense out of them than her anyway. Do you fund her life? Give her the kee niow treatment. Is it expensive? Or even better, painful? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dougieboy Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 Unfortunately, I'm way up north, with no nightlife, or chance of alternative "comfort", , so I guess for now, I'll be spending a lot of time on the internet. Tell her to give you some advanced notice and the approximate duration of the silent treatment, next time. That way you can book a sightseeing tour of Pattaya for a few days. If she doesn't start talking to you after telling her that, you can just say that you take her silence to mean she agrees that you can go. lol! you should be a Lawyer Mr Bojangles lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintofsilence Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Datsun240Z Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 I'm currently getting the silent treatment from the Thai missus. This is day one. I get this every few months, usually over nothing at all. Is this common in Thailand, or is it just my misfortune to be married to someone who can't seem to have an argument, but always chooses this method to get her point across? What do others do when they get this treatment? Unfortunately, I'm way up north, with no nightlife, or chance of alternative "comfort", , so I guess for now, I'll be spending a lot of time on the internet. And there's always the dogs to talk to, usually get more sense out of them than her anyway. I'm getting the same now. I have no idea how to handle it. It's like they are a baby, if they can't get it.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigSnake Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 Hey my friend ENJOY the moment of SILENT, Pun Intended! Now let's deal with it, what you is just likewise with a slight SMILE on your Face, and go about your normal routine, until comes around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Datsun240Z Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 (edited) Are we talking about an adult or a 5 year old,. ..some of the things you guys put up with i find bizzare,. Yup, It's amazing how some Thai ladies mind can think. Edit: have to say that, when a lady feels she is in control, you are up to no good. Get back in control, lock the house, trow her out. Edited June 28, 2009 by Datsun240Z Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Datsun240Z Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 I've come to like, and appreciate the silent treatment. I've been in a relationship that things would blow-up into arguments and then you just say stupid things. Now I know if she's upset, I don't say much and go about my business and in a day or a few things are OK and we talk about it. She'll ask nice for me to stop doing something, most of the time I've been unaware or not paying attention to what I do, I agree and then it's make-up sex time! Now if I'm angry about something I've learned some wisdom to letting things setting down a little and take time to reflect. My advice is just let it go. "Trying to get to the bottom of things" or the core issue is useless and just feeds the game. Go about life and in time she will want to talk - and then you should be a nice guy and listen. Lastly I'll say there is a time when it's not a "leave me alone and let us cool off" common sense and it's just f'ing with your head. And for that, especially early in a relationship I'm 100% into the "OK that's fine, I'll go find some company and a hotel, call me when you're in the mood to talk". I did that twice and the BS was over. Now it's just standard quite time (remember the Thai way isn't to fight). Don't let it get under you skin. In it's own way it's a good thing. Wise words. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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