Help Me Out !

[BFF]

i got married for 2 and half years with farang guy and he got 1 kid from his ex girlfriend,i love his kid

His problem about alcoho.all of his friends,who he hang out with always have many girls around and had sex,i found out from his friend sms said about tit,pussy or having sex with 2 girls even they got wife and own kid already,

before i can"t accept but i don't want to fight,he had hot temper.he done many things without thinking of my feeling many time.we both jealous

- actually man hit woman nobody can accept that in life but after he knock me down in 1 punched in front bed supper club because of I pull water in yr face because of we both jealous

- when I'm away to work,he been out all night and invited 2 girls and 1 man in the house,he told me he didn't do anything with them,just talk

- another night out he have girl number and hind his phone in the car,so i found out,he said he do that revence me for i'm act not nice when he been out

- everytime he out he like to turn off the phone or no battery left everytime when I just called to ask "when u come back home,around 3 or 4 am already then make him upset and came back home in the morning even he gave me yr word and promise already .

And that I forgive u because I love him,want to get marry only one time in my life but that broke my trust and my heart already and I don't mind to give a chance "

- we fight as talk fight again and he always to work in Phuket,got house there also,but ask his ex girlfriend to go down to Phuket told her we divorce,but she said no because she still got feeling for my husband so he decided

- invite his dad's brother and pay for his flight from europe and they had night out spent money on alcohol usually 30,000-40,000 per night

other thing i got own job work for government,salary not much,i don't mind to live on my saraly,but sometime i feel something,why he take care other people better than take care me but actually he really nice person when he have good mood

You know what Why i don't like to ask him for money because when we fight he said everything i got is his......i get better life because of him.......hurt me everytime when I heard that from him

goodluck for me I didn't quit my job.You're not stable to live with so u know why I'm insecure to live with him

So make me decide to divorce him, but can"t through it because he ask he a chance and he change himself to stop drinking,not out.we help to cut down budget to live like a normal

Now again just stupid fight he spent time on internet too much,so i just said to him but he shout at me and talk bad.make me upset i decide to go to sleep with my parent house instead but after that night he get member on website looking for female to travel europe with and put himself "single" i forgot to tell u we both have password and he said he did it to revence me and then he changed password so i can"t check

he sent me email about suicide,make me and his family worry, so i went to see him and i get back to him that night.

But after he change password he get member on other website for travel europe looking for girl to travel with again and only open female profile,now i knew his heart not 100 percent for me,so what's point to be together.

mean he looking for other girl when he still have his own wife but we just live seperate,

i have no trust,make me checking,i don't like myself to be like this,not stable to be with him because he can thrown me out some time i walk out of this relationship with no money i have to ask my daddy for money when i have not enough to live or get new apartment to live seperate with him

no future, insecure even still love, but people can't live with only love.when couple get old love will not so important but still be friend,take care each other, talk and share everything, honestly. But we just got only love,nothing else

i want to hurt short time not for whole life.I can't forget all of this but i want to give another chance but i can"t give all my trust to him.

[GrahamF]

I no unnersaatan, or a troll. Same same, nevermind.

[Escobar69]

u should revence him back for treating you badly.

[way2muchcoffee]

Tough times. I think you know what you need to do already. You seem to be pretty well clued in on what's going on now and what the future will be like with your husband.

[BFF]

My English really bad i hope everybody who read this understand my feeling,so hard for me this time,can't eat ,can't sleep have to take sleeping pill every night...........

Thank you so much for all reply for me.Have a nice day all of u

[Lopburi99]

BFF, I think good idea for you to go live with your mother now. Good Luck, difficult for you I know.

By the way, your English is ok. We understand you.

Edited July 12, 2009 by Lopburi99

[Flatouthruthefog]

Tough times. I think you know what you need to do already. You seem to be pretty well clued in on what's going on now and what the future will be like with your husband.

Yes. A thousand times yes.

Get away from him, never change your mind, and get on with your life. It's never too late to re-start. And good luck!

The best 'revenge' is having a good and happy lifestyle!!

[scorecard]

BFF, I think good idea for you to go live with your mother for awhile. Good Luck, difficult for you I know.

By the way, your English is ok. We understand you.

If this is genuine.

Be realistic, he is never never going to change. Take a big decision and move on, even if it breaks your heart for a while. Don't jump into another relationship quickly, and probably better to move to another location, if you can.

But also ask yourself "Do I enjoy the drama?" If you do enjoy the drama then you need even more deep thinking and make yourself some targets in life for change.

Why? Because if you do like the drama then there's a danger that you'll 'automatically' find another man who has an attitude / behaviors just like the current one.

[BFF]

Now i got new apartment to live with my own and concentrate with my work,but sometime just feel lonely,my mom knew about this and she said up to me if i'm not happy with this marry life

[IanForbes]

I'd like to help you out...

Which way did you come in?

[neverdie]

BFF,

You need to move on, forget about this man and you will eventually find someone good for you and you will wonder why you waste so much of your life with this loser. Goodluck.

[sibeymai]

Now i got new apartment to live with my own and concentrate with my work,but sometime just feel lonely,my mom knew about this and she said up to me if i'm not happy with this marry life

You have already taken the first and most important step in making your life better. It may seem tough for a while but it will get better. Don't give in to his manipulation. Stay strong and true to yourself. Time to think with your head, not your heart. Good luck. You sound like you'll make someone very happy one day.

Edited July 12, 2009 by sibeymai

[IanForbes]

My English really bad i hope everybody who read this understand my feeling,so hard for me this time,can't eat ,can't sleep have to take sleeping pill every night...........

Thank you so much for all reply for me.Have a nice day all of u

The guy is a loser. Get out and leave him. There are lots of farang losers in Thailand because most couldn't make it wherever they came from in the first place.

[robblok]

I advise you to leave him because its almost impossible to change someone like that. In the end it will only hurt more. Just cut your losses and move on. I believe ppl can change but only a lil bit and this sounds major.

[BFF]

I never give up with anything in my life before but this time very hard for me.After broke up and live seperate for 1 week,we decide to get back together and we went to europe for 1 month to spent time together,we got good time and sometime little fight as normal couple.

He try to changed himself for me,didn't go out to drink for 2 months. but i though he just he change because scared gonna loose me,Actually he can"t change.If i can't accept the way he is,so the answer will be end of this relationship.i hope i make the right dicision.

[Mario2008]

I never give up with anything in my life before but this time very hard for me.After broke up and live seperate for 1 week,we decide to get back together and we went to europe for 1 month to spent time together,we got good time and sometime little fight as normal couple.

He try to changed himself for me,didn't go out to drink for 2 months. but i though he just he change because scared gonna loose me,Actually he can"t change.If i can't accept the way he is,so the answer will be end of this relationship.i hope i make the right dicision.

hapiness in life is on of the mst important things. You say you can't be happy with him and the alternative is both being unhappy for the rest of your life. Seems to me you are making the right decisssion, how painfull it might be.

[BFF]

i post on this website because of need people opion before i make dicision,i'm not looking for anybody and thank you for every reply......

[babuhavas]

this guy is not going to improve,infact it will get worst yeas after years,just get rid of him and start new life

[webfact]

Leave him! No other solution will work in the long run.

To wait will make things even more worse.

Thats MHO

[Lopburi99]

I never give up with anything in my life before but this time very hard for me.After broke up and live seperate for 1 week,we decide to get back together and we went to europe for 1 month to spent time together,we got good time and sometime little fight as normal couple.

He try to changed himself for me,didn't go out to drink for 2 months. but i though he just he change because scared gonna loose me,Actually he can"t change.If i can't accept the way he is,so the answer will be end of this relationship.i hope i make the right dicision.

It is best for your future happiness that you do not accept the way he is. Be strong, and don't be tempted to return to him to try again. This man can never bring you the happy, stable life you deserve. It's great that you have a new apartment, very smart of you. Now you can start your new life.

[BFF]

Do you think people can change? now 2 months already he have been change but other problem come up about looking for girls to travel with when he decide to run away to europe for rest for a bit

This is email he sent to me before

""""here is a list of all the things i love about you..

your funny

pretty

hard working

loving (love his son like your own)

caring

independant

strong

clever

and many many more things

there is only one thing i dont like and that is

insecurity

i love you with all of my heart and i never want to lose you, i have tried so much to change to be the husband that you want

i beg you to reconsider, because i like the person that u make me, i like the new me, why do you not?

please call your husband you dont know that this is doing to me inside, if you ever loved me you would call me

divorce should be last option not the first

whatever your problems are we can work them out i promise

we love each other and i promise i will work out our problems whtaever they are

dont throw away a good marriage to a man who loves you so much

open your eyes and calm down and you will see the truth

love you always""""""""""

[Lopburi99]

No, he cannot change in my opinion. He is unstable. He will always have problems. IMHO

[BFF]

That's why we try not see each other or contact each other,only contact by email.i can feel he love me so much,and i appreciate for his big changed for me for 2 months but i still scared he gonna be the same as always,and just little stupid talk fight he use to against me and hurt my feeling to revence me back.i can't live like this

i shouldn't check make me not happy ,everytime i checked,find something everytime.

[a2396]

I never could understand why women stay with men like this. It seems the worse they are treated, the longer they stay. Nice guys? Not interested. Treat them good? Not interested?

[Lopburi99]

I never could understand why women stay with men like this. It seems the worse they are treated, the longer they stay. Nice guys? Not interested. Treat them good? Not interested?

I know. They sweet talk a little and the woman gives in.

Why do I have this feeling she will go back again? Grr!

BFF, trust your instincts. You've already said yourself he cannot change.

GO from him! And don't look back!

Edited July 12, 2009 by Lopburi99

[neverdie]

Sometimes in a relationship, external factors may cause problems in a relationship. If the basics to the relationship are good, then thats worth working on.

If the foundations to a good relationship are not there, such as the many things the OP has raised, then it is wise to depart quickly and not look back. Life is short, too short to be miserable and not feel comfortable in ur relationship.

[mogoso]

Don't look upon yourself as a quitter, your not. Your just going to cut your loss and move on. The problem isn't within you, but within him.

I think you'll miss his child more than his worthless butt. Is this child from another Thai lady and how did that end between them? I think he has a big problem of not truly committing to anyone but his self. Seeking a travel partner is just looking for a piece of strange, as he feels somewhat comfortable with you but seeks a single life to do what he wants.

You've a steady job, a family that offers support and are young and healthy, you've many things that many people just don't have.

You'll meet someone that will treasure you as much as I treasure my Thai wife. It could be tomorrow or ten years. Don't rush it, "don't think too much".

[Escobar69]

sounds like a complete loser.

[longstebe]

Why hurt your heart everytime.

Do not have any contact with him.

[BFF]

This is a letter he sent to me said ........................

this is the hardest thing I have ever went through,I’m sure your sad to,but I can’t take anymore pain.i need you to know the truth,even though I’m sure you will divorce me.

Travel websites,set up 1^st because you check my email,I know you will see it.

2^nd set up because I really wanted to go traveling when u tell me you will divorce me.

Yes maybe I looked at girls profile but I was with ross and just looking like guys do

Not because I would ever look to find someone on the internet ( I think you know that already)

You were my world,my heart and my soul,I’m sorry that I made your life so bad and I should not be everything you wanted….i tried!!!

I wished you could have given me the chance to explain before leaving

But instead you thought the wrost and judged me,AGAIN.

“”””” I really wanted to make it work this time !””””””

I swear on gypsy’s life

I would of done anything to make you happy.I’m so weak I had to change my password to numbers then burn it so I could not email you.

When you get this letter I will be gone! Please don’t let other people decide you life!

I don’t want to divorce you .I would give you a million chances.

But you can’t give me one.Please think carefully about what you want only person who knows all details is me and you,not other people.

I will always love you and only you and I never CHEAT on you,

no matter what you think and say

I know we will see each other again someday.I know you love me but I need you to trust me

YOU CAN I SWEAR

If you meet someone else,I wish you very much happiness because everyone deserves that.it just makes me sad that it will not be me who will take care of you when you are old and so am i.

I miss you more than you could ever know

I need to be alone to deal with this

I will love you till the day I die

SORRY

Ps.please listen “suspicious minds” by elvis presley,it will help you understand how I feel