Unable To Get A Date

[MiG16]

I suggest those who have nothing to contribute to the OP's question - you need not reply

any more off topic, insulting /generalising remarks against any category of people will earn you a warning.

to the OP good luck but remember sometime its easier (and far more fun!) to be single

[blueandbrown]

I am a single Chinese-American woman working for a multinational in BKK. I am in my forties, and in extremely good shape. Trim, fit and fashionable. And I am financially independent. My problem is I cannot seem to find any man to date me. And I know I am not bad to look at because I do get asked out everywhere else except in BKK!

I truly enjoy my work, but being a single foreign woman in BKK is tough. Should I ask my company to relocate me, or am I just not trying hard enough to meet men?

It would be interesting to hear from both men and women.

Thanks.

Ive got just the man but at the moment he is in korat alas he has children but if that doesnt bother you and you want to know more please let me know

lee.........

[sassienie]

It`s the same newbie Troll as always.

Amazing how many of you fall for this load of nonsense.

I wager we will never hear from this OP again, until he signs up again with a different name and dreams up another topic and you all to chew on.

[cdnvic]

It`s the same newbie Troll as always.

Amazing how many of you fall for this load of nonsense.

I wager we will never hear from this OP again, until he signs up again with a different name and dreams up another topic and you all to chew on.

I'd actually rather deal with the trolls themselves than the know-it-alls that shout troll without any real clue as to the veracity of the post. I wouldn't blame them for not coming back when they are so rudely treated. If you think its a wind up you are more than welcome to ignore it and move on. Real or not, the opening post's validity is determined by the discussion that ensues, as there are obviously people out there who find merit in the discussion regardless of the author's intent. The troll callers add nothing to the discussion, save for drawing negative attention on themselves. They are the same goofs who sit watching a movie moaning "That's fake...." when the rest of the audience already knows that but is at least intelligent enough to understand that its all part of the entertainment.

[IanForbes]

Any topic about sex, or the games played between the sexes garners lots of attention. This one is no different. Judging from a few personal messages I received, I believe the original post was a valid one. She also got some good answers mixed in with the usual giberish. Eek always gives good advice from a woman's perspective. If the OP sorts out the good from the bad and follows up on the good then I believe she will be okay. Many people ask for advice, but never follow any of it... even if it is good and would solve their problem. They just want to vent and have something to complain about. My brother is like that and it finally caused me to stop phoning him.

[jackdanielsesq]

Amen to that

BR>Jack

but remember sometime always easier (and far more fun!) to be single

[PingManDan]

I am a single Chinese-American woman working for a multinational in BKK. I am in my forties, and in extremely good shape. Trim, fit and fashionable. And I am financially independent. My problem is I cannot seem to find any man to date me. And I know I am not bad to look at because I do get asked out everywhere else except in BKK!

I truly enjoy my work, but being a single foreign woman in BKK is tough. Should I ask my company to relocate me, or am I just not trying hard enough to meet men?

It would be interesting to hear from both men and women.

Thanks.

Go to www.craigslist.org and look over in the different countries, click on Thailand, you'll be fine.

Edited August 3, 2009 by PingManDan

[cdnvic]

I'd have to disagree somewhat in what the previous posters writes. While it may be true in his case, many men prefer a woman who can look after herself, and in turn lets him do the same. To me the idea of a woman taking care of me is absurd as I see it more mothering than anything. I like to be able to have a conversation of some depth with a woman, and in fact find a woman who can hold her own in conversation far more attractive than a woman who can't.

I'm perfectly comfortable taking care of myself, and were I not already married I would certainly look for a woman who was independent and self-reliant. I've been around to know that there's a huge gap between subservient housewife and man hating feminist. In between that are millions of single, intelligent women who are a mix of good and bad, but only a fool would write them all off in one big generalization.

[Mossfinn]

I'd actually rather deal with the trolls themselves than the know-it-alls that shout troll without any real clue as to the veracity of the post. I wouldn't blame them for not coming back when they are so rudely treated. If you think its a wind up you are more than welcome to ignore it and move on. Real or not, the opening post's validity is determined by the discussion that ensues, as there are obviously people out there who find merit in the discussion regardless of the author's intent. The troll callers add nothing to the discussion, save for drawing negative attention on themselves. They are the same goofs who sit watching a movie moaning "That's fake...." when the rest of the audience already knows that but is at least intelligent enough to understand that its all part of the entertainment.

Apologies for the complete quote, but it deserved to be repeated in its entirety.

The shouting of Troll from almost the first post is ludicrous, if not incredulous considering the limited posting history of the OP and its actual content.

It also depends on your interpretation of a Troll, if it induces a good response with information that can be be used by readers and contributors alike, what does it matter if the initial strike was for gratification purposes only and if so, the laugh is on those who shout Troll, with no discernible contribution, as it is to those who fail miserably with a rather lame OP, although on this occasion, I think the OP is fine, intended Troll or not.

[expatlady]

I suggest those who have nothing to contribute to the OP's question - you need not reply

any more off topic, insulting /generalising remarks against any category of people will earn you a warning.

to the OP good luck but remember sometime its easier (and far more fun!) to be single

I would like to thank you for looking after this thread. I have not written much simply because I am here for advise. Not to advertise myself. I know perfectly well that this is a male-dominated forum, and that is exactly why I came here. To get the male perspective. As in everything else in life, there are the good guys, and the bad guys. Women my age have learned to deal with that a long time ago.

There are several women like me reading the posts, and I have been thanked for starting it. And yes, there have been much good advice, and all that remains is for me, and the others, to start acting on the good ideas.

Some may find this difficult to believe, but not every woman wants a ring on her finger, or an ATM machine. There are quite a number of women like me are complete on their own, and simply want another person to share the good things in life. These women will interact with you for who you are, and at the end of the day, that is what we, men and women, all want.

[IanForbes]

I suggest those who have nothing to contribute to the OP's question - you need not reply

any more off topic, insulting /generalising remarks against any category of people will earn you a warning.

to the OP good luck but remember sometime its easier (and far more fun!) to be single

I would like to thank you for looking after this thread. I have not written much simply because I am here for advise. Not to advertise myself. I know perfectly well that this is a male-dominated forum, and that is exactly why I came here. To get the male perspective. As in everything else in life, there are the good guys, and the bad guys. Women my age have learned to deal with that a long time ago.

There are several women like me reading the posts, and I have been thanked for starting it. And yes, there have been much good advice, and all that remains is for me, and the others, to start acting on the good ideas.

Some may find this difficult to believe, but not every woman wants a ring on her finger, or an ATM machine. There are quite a number of women like me are complete on their own, and simply want another person to share the good things in life. These women will interact with you for who you are, and at the end of the day, that is what we, men and women, all want.

Good, thoughtful reply, expatlady. And, I'm also thankful the mods have kept this thread from going off the rails. Even the harsh replies like the one from USA1099 gives another perspective. In every debate it takes a wide range of thoughts, even radical ones, to bring everything into perspective.

[sbk]

I think USA1099 needs a reminder of the forum rules he agreed to follow when he signed onto this forum:

7) Not to post slurs or degrading comments directed towards any group on the basis of race, nationality, religion, gender or sexual orientation.

further such posts will result in more than just a reminder of the rules.

[Ta22]

well , before i go on with my usually bad spelling and finger workout -

i got to state that i am Married and i am more then happy to know more then happy to know more friends ,

the younger people would have no time for this forum , and would be too busy trying ti figure out life out what to do with the money there earn , or is trying so hard to earn money . or some seriously seriously importance goal ..

which leave this Leave you a large choice of the OLD and well seasoned bangkok or would i say farang online to read most of the post ,

at time .. choosing who there Fav more , usually more merciful when is a Woman . or a lost girl ..

i did ever consider starting myself a online adviser business , not that i give good adviser to people .

there is alway someone out there that would some how find their way to you or vice versa .

planning your social circle well , will give you the right kinda contact ,

you may want to start some Dancing lesson ,

i am sure you might find some Nice mid age man there . i myself had been thinkign when i hit 35 i may take some some dancing lesson with my wife , but that would be a future surpise plan .

i think man who can dance is sexy . and at the moment i don;t think i am sexy in anyway whahahah i am classic 100kg up lazy fart .

ok back to you .

where was i . oh yeh , social circle . i wonder why i feel so lazy to type today . usually i can type a whole page of junk and still type more .

maybe married life had change me and made me a nicer person.

one good start is meet all kinda people , and i mean all kind, join as many invite as you can ,

if nobody invite you , you jolly well invite people .

be slow

be smart

thailand is a nice country , and most Guy would had been attach or option for successful . 30+ woman , so the 40+ Slot and kinda vacancy option . when the 30+ slow is fill .

to imagine , thailand is a Retirment paradise . most guy here had a retirment midnset .. ( of cos Thailand is also the Sex paradise , the other half is on that )

go join a Club , and when i say Club i do not mean one of those club at RCA ,

maybe a Golf Club , wine Club ,

. cos there there will be alot of younger guys handing around there waiting for a Sugar Mummy ,

the real guy would be too busy to even go to the club there join . and by the time there are successful , the " TAKEN : sign would be up .

So the best chances you got would end you up in a affair status . which in thailand is a dangerous game to play -

who know some hitman would be hire by your Lover ' girl freinds or even best your lover boy firends to get rich on you ..

so that some scarey idea we got here ..

anyway ..try to ident between what you want .

simple option would be .

1. i am just alonely

2. i am tired i need someone to hug me to sleep .

3. i need love .

4. just bored

let say you choose 1.

this is easy , just start going out and meet friends , youc an jolly well ask for some BBQ dinner and hope some stranger turn up . on a group base and in the process you might just meet someone .

if you choose 2 .

this is one very hard choice . which give rise to mroe choices ,. are you looking for somebody to hold you , or for some body to let your heart rest .

with some money and investment you can get someone to Hug you to sleep everyday and jolly well lick your toe . if you pay the right price ,

but if it to get a resting place for your heart . This easy task had just harder ten fold .

option 3 .

well . love is not something rare . and i can say there is bundle out there . is weather you give yourself the same chances you hope someone else give you .

you be surpise .

option 4 .

if youa re just Bored . like the other half of teh forum user ..

keep posting and in words you will some be able to kill some time .

good luck ..

[sbk]

Posts have been deleted. Further such derogatory posts will result in formal moderator action.

[Patsycat]

I think it must take a lot of guts for a single woman to move to Thailand on her own and live alone in such a huge city as Bangkok - I couldn't do it. Good for you expatlady. and I hope you find what you are looking for.

And that USA1099 should have had his butt paddled by his momma years ago.

Full moon here....

Edited August 4, 2009 by Patsycat

[Ulysses G.]

I am glad that the mods allowed the post by USA1099 to stay.

I do not agree with much of what he has to say - I do not think that all Thai women are as wonderful as he does or American/Western women as bad - but there are a lot of men who sincerely feel the way that he does and if no one is allowed to comment on this point of view, how can we hope to change it?

[sbk]

Unfortunately, it had to go as well. It appears it is fodder to all the other members who feel the need to come out and denigrate 150 million people. And while people are certainly entitled to their offensive opinions, they are not necessarily entitled to air those opinions in such a hateful and bigoted manner.

[dale8]

Hello, many men without many options would love a sugarmommy. Maybe you can embrace this lifestyle as you would keep a lot of power in your relationship. Cheers.

[venturalaw]

I am glad that the mods allowed the post by USA1099 to stay.

I do not agree with much of what he has to say - I do not think that all Thai women are as wonderful as he does or American/Western women as bad - but there are a lot of men who sincerely feel the way that he does and if no one is allowed to comment on this point of view, how can we hope to change it?

I think you spoke too soon UG. I never saw it.

Edited August 4, 2009 by venturalaw

[dondraper]

to her credit, her grammar and writing (both here and via the pms we exchanged that she initiated) is distinctly feminine, and most internet trolls are not that intuitive or elaborate.

[hammered]

I don't think there is any grovelling that needs to be done. It is a supply and demand issue. For the expat women, supply is low, and well, demand exceeds supply! (Trust me, me and my NZ wife met here in BKK...she and a bunch of her friends agrees). I think an ex.expat woman has recently written a book about her dryspell in BKK.

When supply becomes available, very little grovelling needs to be done (the expat girl can be rather agressive actually...), and no 1950's throwback-ing needed!

I hate to stir the kettle, but generally, very attractive Western women don't tend to live in third world countries. Those who do, usually came here with a husband... Now I am sure I will be eating alive for this comment, but that won't reduce the truth of it.

Of course, looks don't really matter to men. Its whats inside that counts!

haha.

No, I haven't seen Heidi Klum living here either, but, I think we may live in different worlds. Many single girls working in law firms, NGO's, embassies or multinationals, as well as the international schools. Late 20s and early 30's is the median age. They are out here for adventure. In the model department, Thailand doesn't fare too badly, and there is a bit of a base for the modelling community.

Plenty of sports clubs and social networks where you meet most of the above as well.

At first i wasnt gonna comment on dondrapers post because its so dam_n trollish. The fact is that Thailand appeals to many young western women, plenty who are attractive young women, and some who happen to be VERY physically attractive.

As a side note..some men who may be attracted to the more superficial side of Thailand may wonder why others (men too, not just women) would come to Thailand. They may not see or know another side to Thailand. Their lives are in the tourist hotspots and perched on various barstools. If they actually got out there and looked around the place, they may see another side. A side where people actually treat each other with some respect, dont have a huge chip on their shoulder, and dont pigeon hole at every opportunity.

I originally came to Thailand as a single woman and i still got checked out. Im no Heidi Klum, far from it, and im no model. But i dont feel any less attractive if a man doesnt look at me or ask me out, i realise that those men who check me out may not be interested in a relationship with a Western woman, as they find Thai women more appealing. Im self-assured enough to not be bothered by that. My self-esteem isnt wrapped up in male attention.

But anyway..im waffling..so to cut it short..with regards to no attractive western women in Thailand.. I think most normal people with eyes and brains can see its utter <deleted>. I also think that those men with huge chips on their shoulders will nit pick every detail on a western woman and find flaws even in normal pretty girls, whereas the sun shines out of every Thai girl that smiles at them. But, that is their problem, not ours.

Superb and good for saying it

[venturalaw]

Hello, many men without many options would love a sugarmommy. Maybe you can embrace this lifestyle as you would keep a lot of power in your relationship. Cheers.

No call to insult the OP. She is clearly intelligent and sensitive in her posts and would not be drawn to men "without many options". Furthermore, a relationship where one would value keeping power I believe would not be of interest.

Edited August 4, 2009 by venturalaw

[MrHammer]

[deleted - this is not a dating site]

[dondraper]

"As a side note..some men who may be attracted to the more superficial side of Thailand may wonder why others (men too, not just women) would come to Thailand. They may not see or know another side to Thailand. Their lives are in the tourist hotspots and perched on various barstools. If they actually got out there and looked around the place, they may see another side. A side where people actually treat each other with some respect, dont have a huge chip on their shoulder, and dont pigeon hole at every opportunity."

These places where people treat each other with respect, they tend to not be air conditioned, I imagine.

[eek]

I am glad that the mods allowed the post by USA1099 to stay.

I do not agree with much of what he has to say - I do not think that all Thai women are as wonderful as he does or American/Western women as bad - but there are a lot of men who sincerely feel the way that he does and if no one is allowed to comment on this point of view, how can we hope to change it?

I think you spoke too soon UG. I never saw it.

Yes, missed it too. Great words UG, and thanks for that. I understand the reason for the clean up, but you made a really good point.

Wish I had seen what was written.

[dondraper]

I don't think there is any grovelling that needs to be done. It is a supply and demand issue. For the expat women, supply is low, and well, demand exceeds supply! (Trust me, me and my NZ wife met here in BKK...she and a bunch of her friends agrees). I think an ex.expat woman has recently written a book about her dryspell in BKK.

When supply becomes available, very little grovelling needs to be done (the expat girl can be rather agressive actually...), and no 1950's throwback-ing needed!

I hate to stir the kettle, but generally, very attractive Western women don't tend to live in third world countries. Those who do, usually came here with a husband... Now I am sure I will be eating alive for this comment, but that won't reduce the truth of it.

Of course, looks don't really matter to men. Its whats inside that counts!

haha.

No, I haven't seen Heidi Klum living here either, but, I think we may live in different worlds. Many single girls working in law firms, NGO's, embassies or multinationals, as well as the international schools. Late 20s and early 30's is the median age. They are out here for adventure. In the model department, Thailand doesn't fare too badly, and there is a bit of a base for the modelling community.

Plenty of sports clubs and social networks where you meet most of the above as well.

Probably. I don't work here.

Which sports clubs are you referencing?

Edited August 4, 2009 by dondraper

[chiangmaibruce]

Wish I had seen what was written.

same here, i thought we were all grown up enough to handle dissenting opinions - provided they are not laced with profanity, threatening (in the physical sense) and/or directed at a particular person

[blueandbrown]

I am a single Chinese-American woman working for a multinational in BKK. I am in my forties, and in extremely good shape. Trim, fit and fashionable. And I am financially independent. My problem is I cannot seem to find any man to date me. And I know I am not bad to look at because I do get asked out everywhere else except in BKK!

I truly enjoy my work, but being a single foreign woman in BKK is tough. Should I ask my company to relocate me, or am I just not trying hard enough to meet men?

It would be interesting to hear from both men and women.

Thanks.

Hi I have a nice brother in law who is looking he is thai and a really nice man alas he lives in Korat at the moment and he has children but if that doesnt bother you at all then feel free to reply to me

lee.

[norwayeagle]

Expat lady.It is A Man out there 4 you.But i think it's like looking 4 a needle in a haystack. Do not give up!

[Ulysses G.]

I am glad that the mods allowed the post by USA1099 to stay.

I do not agree with much of what he has to say - I do not think that all Thai women are as wonderful as he does or American/Western women as bad - but there are a lot of men who sincerely feel the way that he does and if no one is allowed to comment on this point of view, how can we hope to change it?

I think you spoke too soon UG. I never saw it.

Yes, missed it too. Great words UG, and thanks for that. I understand the reason for the clean up, but you made a really good point.

Wish I had seen what was written.

You have seen it 100 times before. The same old stuff about how feminism has ruined American/Western women and how Thai women really know how to treat a man.

There are some elements of truth to what he said, but there are also a lot of wonderful Western women out there who do not deserve to be equated with radical feminists.

I did not feel that he was especially rude or nasty about his feelings, but I am not a woman and I am not a moderator, so what do I know?

Edited August 4, 2009 by Ulysses G.