Unable To Get A Date

[easer]

I dont need a thicker skin. Im fine with those comments. But rules should be equal both ways and they are not with boo. You do similar comments about women and see what happens to you. I think a few more than myself witness this in the past. It is ment as a small remark. Not a big discussion. Sorry if i raised reasons to go on and on about a small storie here, but the thing is, since boo all the time is posting remarks about men this way, maybe it would be fair if she took a little the other way without flashing the rules so quick? Am i fair in this request or not? If not i strongly appologies. It is just the feeling i get when i read the forum.

[cdnvic]

Boo's comments about men are her own opinion, and not even close to some of the things that get said about women around here. Unmoderated, it turns into a real slagfest. There are a lot of divorced, bitter men in Thailand with a real chip on their shoulder (I'm not generalizing, some of these are my friends), and they have no issue venting their spleen here very explicitly. That get's the knuckle draggers going and it all spirals down from there. The few offhand comments I see from the women here, mods and otherwise are mild in comparison. We have no real reason to feel victimized here, and to try to would just make us look silly.

[cobra]

Well in this thread only you have so far made comments like:

I mention this for all the happy women who do not miss what a farang man has to offer.

and :

Just cause you are unable to cope with a women who has an opinion

(the latter actually VERY degrading towards Thai women aswell).

You sneek them in all the time and we all see them boo. Im pretty convinced that you now will come with some lame explanations how you mea this as you always do. But for frequent readers and sponsors of this site it dosent cut it. We see true it and you should now ban yourself. Its been going on for long time and i think a fair ounishment for you would be to stay of the forum for at least 3 hours.

If you find those degrading you really need to get a thicker skin. Stop being a wuss.

btw, I've never seen any sponsor on this entire forum ever need to threaten to pull support just because someone disagrees with them. Thats a lame way to win a debate.

Why is he a "Wus', he brought up valid and legitimate points,

[cdnvic]

Why is he a "Wus', he brought up valid and legitimate points,

He's playing the victim over some pretty mild words, then using sponsorship money to bully someone. That's a wuss in my books.

Edited August 9, 2009 by cdnvic

[epistememe]

It is not easy to discuss a topic as emotionally charged as relationships and cultural differences without having ones own experience filter and sometimes obscure/distort the viewpoint expressed by others. It takes a bit of effort, and practice, to not immediately pigeonhole the contrary views of another person. I think there are many men on this board who have had a traumatic marriage and divorce experience and have yet to come to terms with the emotional impact it has had on them.

A couple of observations that are tangentially related to the OP's original question. First, play to your strengths. Your intellect and engaging company will set you apart from the crowd. This is actually in short supply in Thailand (IMHO) and even with the demand being lower in Thailand relative to the west, it is still your best bet. I personally would find that very appealing and a highly desirable trait (wink,wink, nudge, nudge). Actually, it has usually been the most important consideration for me in relationships, but not always;) OK, that is a bit of a lie. I have to admit that I have been severely distracted on my mission to find a LT relationship by the unbelievable supply of pleasant, young, attractive, fit and upbeat women in Thailand. I too carry baggage from past relationships and the striking contrast between my last long-term (7 years) relationship in the USA with my current relationships in Thailand can't be more cathartic. But it is not all milk and honey and after awhile it becomes clear that the most important ingredient to a great relationship is typically missing when dating a Thai. It is difficult to find a truly intellectually interesting and informed Thai that I would consider for a LT commitment. The lack of knowledge from even University graduates is stunning. I am in my late 40's and consider engaging intellectual discourse a requirement in a SO. My last GF was a professor in Molecular Biology and once you have had a truly amazing intellect for a partner there is really no going back; at least for me. But she was a complete and utter control freak. But just like the appearance of someone can make you fall in love at first sight, the mind/personality of someone can have equally powerful effects that cause you to not see the their faults.

Long story short: you have what it takes for the right guy, you just need to think out-side-the-box a bit and think where you will find this kind of guy and what will initially attract him to you to get the ball rolling.

[MiG16]

ok, enough of discussing moderation

Boo has tried to reason with you, and explained how we work. If a MOD has posted on a thread to express personal opinion, we refrain from moderating it and let someone else handle that job.

however, this does not mean it gives members the right to abuse the rules. Thaivisa prohibits discussion of moderation in public.

if you have been wrongly given warnings or suspended, then you have the option to report moderators to admin.

if you havent had anything done to you wrongly, I suggest you stop with the false accusation and get back on topic.

otherwise Id be more than happy to give out warnings myself, and you can call it whatever abuse of power that you wish or whatever lable you wish to give....but try being creative will you

now, back to topic. if you can. if not, we see what happens

[JSixpack]

Most farang who go to Thailand and other East Asian countries looking for women because they DO NOT want a bossy, opinionated, individualistic, confident American-style woman, but want the absolute opposite, especially submissive, cute, easy-going, respectful girls. On the other hand, most Thai and other Asian men are quite scared of overpowering Western women. As a Chinese American, you look Asian, but behave like an American.Most farang and Thais won't give you a moment of their time. After all, BKK is full of lovely Thai girls who are NOT looking for an argument and are NOT confrontational. Get my message?

That's a bit harsh. Did you actually read all her comments on this topic? She didn't come across as confrontational at all. There are a few mods that are more confrontational than expatlady, and a lot of men here who are also. She was given some good advice and followed up on it. She came to a few valuable conclusions that might solve her problem, or at least give her a different perspective.

Very true. I thought her posts very reasonable and intelligent.

[bonobo]

(Why all the flak to Boo? She made some rather innocuous comments and never wore her moderator badge while making them. As a man, I certainly took no offense at them and rather can see the truth in them instead, and her comments about Thai women were hardly negative but rather pointing out that not all is perfect with Thai women and not all is faulty with Western women. I don't see how anyone can really take offense with that.)

Back to the OP's post. For whatever reason, this one has had me thinking. Although a man, I empathize with her, and I wish I had a simple answer. One thing I came up with, believe it or not, is to show up at one of the TV meet-ups. At the last one I attended, I was impressed by the quality of people who showed up, almost all men, and the interesting and worthy discussions I was able to have. Of course, none of us may have floated the OP's boat, but at least the intellect seemed to be there.

There have to be other groups of people here in BKK which revolve around specific interests. I would assume that the people who attend the group functions may be a little beyond the type of guy who is here for the beer and bargirls. There is nothing wrong with being here for that, but I am assuming from the OP's posts that she may be looking for something a little different.

[eek]

Some points brought up seem to be just an excuse to lay in on Boo, rather than unbiased opinions (ie: people who call western women "western pork", then go on to complain that others should be more considerate/respectful). I dont think the mud slinging helps the OP much. :/

[bonobo]

Some points brought up seem to be just an excuse to lay in on Boo, rather than unbiased opinions (ie: people who call western women "western pork", then go on to complain that others should be more considerate/respectful). I dont think the mud slinging helps the OP much. :/

Very valid point on the "western pork" comment and the then request for consideration/respect.

[Boo]

I did ask for the whole post to be quoted but funnily enough, as it would have totally wiped out the point easer was trying to make, hasn't been

The first quote was a parody of another posters daft comments about western women, which was "amazingly" not quoted here by easer. All I did was change the gender in my post to make apoint. I give thaivisa posters a lot of credit to pick up on something so obvious so sorry that it went over easers head but using that as an example of my "manhating" is very lame.

The 2nd quote was in reply to an individual poster & I am looking really really closely at the post I made but am struggling to see where I have mentioned "men" western men" or "thai women". Funny what some people read into isn't it?

[koheesti]

So many comments to make, so little time. In short, a lot of hypocrisy flowing in the last page or so of this thread. Best just to stick to answering the OP instead of defending posts that really have no serious defense in a truly open forum. If the OP were here on Samui I would suggest to attend the Samui Expat's Club monthly get togethers. I'm sure BKK has several organisations like this which could keep her quite busy meeting a lot of good people.

[Boo]

I think the suggestion of attending the tv meet ups & other arranges BKK social evernts is a great idea. An event where nearly everyone is a stranger to each other will make it easier to approach groups & meet new people without feeling like a "no mates" or outsider.

[ttthailand]

OP, I would bet that you do get a chance from time to time to have conversations with western men here in Thailand. One piece of advise, when you do get a chance to meet a man and have a conversation don't bring up the topic we have been discussing. It will put the man off as has some other posts here would do. Keep the conversation light and fun..... for what it is worth.....

[bkkjames]

I think the suggestion of attending the tv meet ups & other arranges BKK social evernts is a great idea. An event where nearly everyone is a stranger to each other will make it easier to approach groups & meet new people without feeling like a "no mates" or outsider.

Good idea - perhaps we can do that whole speed dating thing - always wanted to try that...

"Hi what's your screen name?"

"XU)UC*^&Y("

"Funny - I thought you were taller on TV"

"Well, I thought you were prettier"

"WHAT!!!"

"Sorry times up"

Next.

[Boo]

deleted post intended to troll.

Boo, as moderator incase anyone needs clarification

[Boo]

Deleted yet more troll posts. Anyone wants to raise questiosn about my posts can do so by pm but don't attempt to patronise or insult me on this forum for holding the view that anyone who makes offensive racial slurs & comments about women are women haters & rascist. This is my opinion, learn to cope.

[norwayeagle]

Deleted yet more troll posts. Anyone wants to raise questiosn about my posts can do so by pm but don't attempt to patronise or insult me on this forum for holding the view that anyone who makes offensive racial slurs & comments about women are women haters & rascist. This is my opinion, learn to cope.

We all have an opinion,,that do not mean it's the right 1.It depends from where u stand and what ur" Luggage" in life is: So follow the growd and the world will still be a bad place to live (4 the most people).Do as hitler said and then blame him later. Smiiile

[neverdie]

I think the suggestion of attending the tv meet ups & other arranges BKK social evernts is a great idea. An event where nearly everyone is a stranger to each other will make it easier to approach groups & meet new people without feeling like a "no mates" or outsider.

Boo, any meetup you goto and I will be there with bells on, one the proviso you pull off a few of those moves that your avatar does .....without putting ur ole back out

[Ulysses G.]

If I wished to moderate you I would not have responded to the thread, just instantly deleted your posts & warned you, so not meaningless to be a super moderator it only means I chose to not moderate where I have posted personally if I can help it, it is a standard aim of the whole team. Should I have thought you needed moderation I would have contacted another member of the team to look at your posts.

Sorry, I thought that I was refering to you as a poster and was confused by this.

[Boo]

UG, A lot happens in 2 days & as per my post today;

Boo, as moderator incase anyone needs clarification

Like I said, got a problem with me take it to pm.

[F1fanatic]

OP, I would bet that you do get a chance from time to time to have conversations with western men here in Thailand. One piece of advise, when you do get a chance to meet a man and have a conversation don't bring up the topic we have been discussing. It will put the man off as has some other posts here would do. Keep the conversation light and fun..... for what it is worth.....

Funnily enough I find that its my male friends here who 'rant' here about Thai women - whilst I try to remain objective and defend them (not generally - just those they're with that I like)!!

I agree though, let them bring the subject up and then laugh with them.

[sbk]

Well, given the amount of baiting, misogyny and general downright nastiness that has pervaded this thread I will give our trolls a break from being suspended and close the thread. I think this thread has gone quite far enough.

///CLOSED///

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Ohh, and btw. Dont bother the phrase "raise it with admin" this time. Because when i do so i will raise it with george on the next renewal of the contract. Not with one of your good friends. .

How long have you been a sponsor Easer ?