How Much Should A Nurses Sin Sod Be?

[DP25]

Good forward thinking on the part of the OP.

He might want to think about meeting her first. They've never even met and she's already claiming she makes 20k as a 24 year old nurse in KK and that she wants a million baht.

[jackr]

RUN!!!

[Garry9999]

I have a long time thai friend who is a Nurse. I've never met her in person but was thinking about it. We were discussing Sin Sod casually and asked her what she thought her sin sod would be in the future.

She seems to think 1 million baht was appropriate as she is a well paid nurse (compared to other occupations in Khon Kaen) She gets around 20,000 baht per month for 8 hour days or 27,000 baht per month when she works a lot of overtime.

Does this sound right for trained nurse who is 24 years old who is almost a virgin lol ?

Is this what a doctor or other professional person in thailand would pay as sin sod for her?

Real examples would be helpful.

Not another sin sod post. Offer 2,2 (i.e.20,000baht and 2 baht weight in gold), if that doesn't impress, try 4,4 or 5,5.

[Huey]

Eh, maybe a few hundred thousand definitely less than 5

[Garry9999]

Hmmmm sinsot just for show, so in reality the net sum will be 0. Now you have your answer..

Why does the myth that sin sod is returned come from?

[AmeriThai]

I was always told that Sin Sot is for two purposes: To show your perceived worth of the bride (especially in Chinese families_ - i.e. face; and secondly to pay the family for the loss of a daughter from their hearth (i.e. traditionally the wife would move to the husband's family and thus they would loose her 'work' (now possibly income of course) that she used to contribute).

I agree about the perceived worth in a well-to-do family, middle class and up. However, with regard to a lost income when the daughter leaves home, I'd be inclined to guess it depends on how significant her income is to the family. If she's the family's primary source of income, then I doubt very much, if any of the sin sod would be returned, especially if the groom is a farang. Also, if the bride retains her career, then I doubt the family is going to be losing their source of income, although they might emphasize that. If anything, she'll most likely continue sending money home, and may even up the amount since her personal living expenses would be greatly reduced. In other words, in many cases, the end result is more likely to be that not only will they receive the sin sod, but their daughter will still be their primary source of income. For them, the marriage may be more like hitting the jackpot. An intermediary may be able to reduce the amount of the sin sod, but for families below middle class and dependent on their daughter's income, the sin sod is about the only thing that's going to be reduced.

In the case of the nurse the OP is talking about, nothing was said about her family. If they are middle class or greater, then it's a different matter.

[AmeriThai]

Hmmmm sinsot just for show, so in reality the net sum will be 0. Now you have your answer..

Not always Brit. It depends on how much a family relies on the girl's income.

[britmaveric]

Hmmmm sinsot just for show, so in reality the net sum will be 0. Now you have your answer..

Why does the myth that sin sod is returned come from?

That is the proper tradition, but let's not burst the bubble of farangs thinking its thai culture to hand over a lump of dosh to family for marrying their daughter.

[kyb789]

Two more real examples from friends I know quite well: Thai people. All university graduates.

He: Electronics engineer +50,000B month.

She: Customer service/ Marketing +20,000B month

Sinsod 100,000Baht money returned after wedding

He: Electronics Marketing Manager +65,000B month

She: Works for family business. Middle class

Sinsod: 150,000Baht money returned after wedding

ME: when and IF I get married...zero. I'm not Thai. Besides, I can get the wifee experience from a different girl any night I want , and its a lot cheaper to rent than own.

Edited September 14, 2009 by kyb789

[midasthailand]

I regret saying almost a virgin now. I was only adding that info for the sake of calculating the sinsod amount if it has anything to do with the way thais think. Some people here think i find it entertaining or something. I personally would prefer a non virgin as i dont see any benefit to a virgin at all. but she's only had 1 bf and only spent a few days with him for those that wanted to know.

Simple question turns into an attack. best not ask questions on this forum. Just hang around and cuss and belittle people instead. yeah this is the kind of people i like to hang out with - not.

I guess this is not the right place to come to to understand how sin sod works at different levels of thai society. i would have found it interesting to have some kind of very basic chart of examples of thai marriages and different education levels, social levels etc.

personally wouldnt pay 500,000 baht for the most beautiful girl in the world. Since its not something westerners would relate too unless you are a missionaire like Donnald Trump. However understanding it from a thai persepctive is what i was after. I have no intention of marrying this girl unless being her bf for at least a year after living with her and seeing how it goes, thats of course if meeting her goes well.

Thanks to those that gave decent answers. For those others that like to make snide comments: go bleep yourselves vigourously.

Don't take the bait my friend, you only encourage "them". My friends' brother is getting married in a couple of months in Isaan (Sisaket) and the parents have already signed the sin sod agreement for 100,000 Baht and 4 Baht of gold, the couple now hate each others guts but my friend says the marriage and payment of Sin sod must still take place! Personally I think far too much is made of "face" in this country but I am but a guest here so will hold my tongue.

As far as nurses salaries goes, I can assure you that a RN with 5 years experience in a private hospital can easily earn 30,000 Baht / month, I know this because in a previous job I was attempting to recruit Thai RN's to go and become aged care nurses in Australia (where there is a chronic shortage of aged care nurses) unfortunately the language requirement was too difficult to meet for most of them, and for those that were good enough with their English language skills, they were heading to the USA where they can earn upwards of 200,000 Baht / month.

Sin Sod is a very emotive subject for some people but generally it is given in cash at the wedding ceremony for show and in a lot of cases is returned to the couple getting married, minus any costs for the ceremony and party.

[WhiteShrek]

Sin Sot is based on a lot more things than what her profession is and her salary. Unless of course she's in the nighttime entertainment industry and then the answer is simply as much as she can get. Bear in mind 1 million is about 4 years salary anyway! Nothing in your post suggests a Thai man would pay that.

There really isn't enough info in your post, but making a few assumptions - from Khon Kaen she's unlikely to be middle or upper class. Most middle class are in BKK and there are only a handful of elite or upper class in Nakorn Nowhere or Sakorn Somewhere. I've never personally come across a Thai-Thai marriage outside Bangkok with more than 500k Sinsot, and that occasion was a "very good" family in Thai eyes, with the girl and guy marrying in Chiang Mai. After the marriage she had to quit her job in BKK and move to CM. She was earning over 40k a month.

I'd be guessing a couple of hundred thousand for this girl would be a reasonable amount a Thai would pay. Ask her where she got the number from, and for some examples in her family, such as cousins, sisters and what her brothers paid their wives etc etc. Also ask who is asking that? Her or the parents? I suspect your being tapped for how much someone can get out of you.

Edited September 14, 2009 by WhiteShrek

[WhiteShrek]

My girlfriend work as a nurse at Siriraj. We been together 4 year, living together 3 years. Her mom want us to get engaged 17th this month (in combination with her mom's retirement party). Her mother have stated the terms "no sin sod. The mom pay engagement party- I pay the rings. I pay the wedding- the mom will provide the fake sin sod. Her mother is a high school teacher and her dad is chief commander in the air force.

I guess if you've been living in sin for 3 years already, mum is just happy you're making an honest woman of her daughter at last. Good example of how there is no one answer and Thai society is changing: sinsot/not, living together before marriage/not....

Seriously. Congrats and Good luck with the marriage, sounds like you're one of the many potentially happily married foreigners in Thailand, although many people on this forum often seem to want you to believe such marraiges are the minority.

[najman]

Thanks for the examples of thai / marriage sin sod's. It makes sense that the sin sod amount has more to do with the families wealth and status than the girls income level. The fact that i'm 30 and she's 24 shouldnt make a big difference in amount at all.

It does sound like she is pushing her luck big time with a million baht sin sod. I think her family is fairly well off. Her grand parents have offered to buy her a car at some stage so i guess they have money. Since I havent met her yet it's good to know what she thinks about these things and to be frank I think its not worth meeting her knowing that she is so money motivated. Wants to work outside thailand as a nurse to save up for a house. working 16 hours a day several days a week for the money. She's a nice girl but I think she really is pushing her luck past the point I can accept. I would never pay a large sin sod over 100,000 baht for any girl and the fact that she tried even meakly to suggest 1 million baht would be acceptable shows she is not affraid to milk a guy for what she can get.

Well it'll be good bye to her then.

[richard_smith237]

1 Million Baht ? Seems way over the odds based on my experience.

Friends (Both Thai and Western) have married Politician’s, Surgeon’s, Businessmen’s daughters and other considered ‘hi-so’ ladies – The Sin-Sot’s have ranged from 400,000 baht to 1 Million Baht.

In the case of some of my friends it was all returned, in others a small amount was kept by the family. And in others some was kept but cars, land etc were given to the couple.

Based on what I have learnt living in Bangkok - The family of a Nurse from Khon-Kaen should be asking for about 100-150,000 Baht.

I think this woman is seriously trying to ‘big up her perceived worth’….

By the way – How is she almost a virgin ? Did she tell you ‘it almost went in’ ?

[richard_smith237]

the fact that she tried even meakly to suggest 1 million baht would be acceptable shows she is not affraid to milk a guy for what she can get.

I guess that this could play out as a good 'Qualifier' and is a good indicator of a woman's intent.

i.e. A few years ago an Ex said that her parents would probably ask for about 500,000 B - I knew that was in the right ball park based on her status. If however she had come up with a figure such as 2 MB then I would have had concern towards her real intentions.

[harleyclarkey]

I regret saying almost a virgin now. I was only adding that info for the sake of calculating the sinsod amount if it has anything to do with the way thais think. Some people here think i find it entertaining or something. I personally would prefer a non virgin as i dont see any benefit to a virgin at all. but she's only had 1 bf and only spent a few days with him for those that wanted to know.

Simple question turns into an attack. best not ask questions on this forum. Just hang around and cuss and belittle people instead. yeah this is the kind of people i like to hang out with - not.

I guess this is not the right place to come to to understand how sin sod works at different levels of thai society. i would have found it interesting to have some kind of very basic chart of examples of thai marriages and different education levels, social levels etc.

personally wouldnt pay 500,000 baht for the most beautiful girl in the world. Since its not something westerners would relate too unless you are a missionaire like Donnald Trump. However understanding it from a thai persepctive is what i was after. I have no intention of marrying this girl unless being her bf for at least a year after living with her and seeing how it goes, thats of course if meeting her goes well.

Thanks to those that gave decent answers. For those others that like to make snide comments: go bleep yourselves vigourously.

Live with it! There are lots of armchair critics/real funny guys on TV.

Tell them to sin sod off...

[soloman]

Not another sin sod post. Offer 2,2 (i.e.20,000baht and 2 baht weight in gold), if that doesn't impress, try 4,4 or 5,5.

what is 2 baht weight in gold approx worth?

[MrHammer]

Isn't it kind of a weird question to ask a girl how much she thinks she's worth in Baht? I am thinking about it and if you asked any other girl how much she was worth in sin sot, wouldn't it be strange if she said 10,000 baht? Then she could just as well go down to Soi Cowboy!

[Artisi]

Is almost a virgin anything like almost pregnant, I think your nurse should insert the thermometer a little further to wake you up.

[a2396]

"I have a long time thai friend who is a Nurse. I've never met her in person but was thinking about it"

Don't you ever meet your long time friends or have you made an exception for this nurse because she is ALMOST a virgin.??

TROLL?

Thanks for your sarcasm. Plenty of that here. I met her online about 2 years ago. I had a gf at the time she had i bf. I have been in touch with her as a friend for around 2 years. Since I am single as of 2 months ago and her as of 3 months ago I started thinking about her as a possible future gf. At the moment we remain friends. And as a friend we discussed many things one of those things was her ideas on sin sod and I happened to ask her casually what she thinks her sin sod might be.

As for being a Troll, I guess everything to you is troll so i wont bother to comment on it.

You were single as of 2 months ago and she as of 3 months ago?? Does that mean she was married before?? If so, she is not entitled to sin sod, I do believe. That is, if anyone follows any rules here. I personally have no use for such a practice. It should have gone by the boards 100 years ago. Mostly it's used for bragging rights and ripping off Farangs. None-the-less, I have heard many ladies here quoting 1 million asking price for starters. Others have stated 6 and 7 million, with a straight face.

[Dakhar]

I have a long time thai friend who is a Nurse. I've never met her in person but was thinking about it. We were discussing Sin Sod casually and asked her what she thought her sin sod would be in the future.

She seems to think 1 million baht was appropriate as she is a well paid nurse (compared to other occupations in Khon Kaen) She gets around 20,000 baht per month for 8 hour days or 27,000 baht per month when she works a lot of overtime.

Does this sound right for trained nurse who is 24 years old who is almost a virgin lol ?

Is this what a doctor or other professional person in thailand would pay as sin sod for her?

Real examples would be helpful.

Let me get this straight.... she is a "Nurse" that states she is "almost a virgin." Sounds to me she is not much of a nurse if she does not understand virginity is something that you have or don't have.

There is no such thing as "very dead" or "almost pregnant." Wow.... and this "nurse" is a qualified administrator of health care. Amazing Thialand.

Real example:

Met my wife in the US, she was a virgin (not kinda) had a BS degree in English and she was working on her MA degree. We got married, and I didn't pay a dime of sin sod etc.

Good luck to u

Edited September 15, 2009 by Dakhar

[mooncake]

Is this what a doctor or other professional person in thailand would pay as sin sod for her?

Real examples would be helpful.

Ok here goes...

I make more money than a nurse and with the oversea education, Mr. Mooncake didn’t pay any.

The only thing my parents wanted was for both of us to take good care of each other and wished us to be happy.

We’re both under 30 …….first marriage for both of us

Best of luck to you tho

Edited September 15, 2009 by mooncake

[britmaveric]

^Moon darling, shhhhhhhh don't ruin it - these lads think its normal to hand over huge amounts of dosh to marry a thai lady.

[mooncake]

^Moon darling, shhhhhhhh don't ruin it - these lads think its normal to hand over huge amounts of dosh to marry a thai lady.

Oppsy...yea u r right, pee Brit

Hey at least I didn't show myself what a catch that I was (still am?), only you know what I look like tho..

[britmaveric]

^Didn't know there was a Mr. Mooncake - lucky lad.

[a2396]

I regret saying almost a virgin now. I was only adding that info for the sake of calculating the sinsod amount if it has anything to do with the way thais think. Some people here think i find it entertaining or something. I personally would prefer a non virgin as i dont see any benefit to a virgin at all. but she's only had 1 bf and only spent a few days with him for those that wanted to know.

Simple question turns into an attack. best not ask questions on this forum. Just hang around and cuss and belittle people instead. yeah this is the kind of people i like to hang out with - not.

I guess this is not the right place to come to to understand how sin sod works at different levels of thai society. i would have found it interesting to have some kind of very basic chart of examples of thai marriages and different education levels, social levels etc.

personally wouldnt pay 500,000 baht for the most beautiful girl in the world. Since its not something westerners would relate too unless you are a missionaire like Donnald Trump. However understanding it from a thai persepctive is what i was after. I have no intention of marrying this girl unless being her bf for at least a year after living with her and seeing how it goes, thats of course if meeting her goes well.

Thanks to those that gave decent answers. For those others that like to make snide comments: go bleep yourselves vigourously.

Don't take the bait my friend, you only encourage "them". My friends' brother is getting married in a couple of months in Isaan (Sisaket) and the parents have already signed the sin sod agreement for 100,000 Baht and 4 Baht of gold, the couple now hate each others guts but my friend says the marriage and payment of Sin sod must still take place! Personally I think far too much is made of "face" in this country but I am but a guest here so will hold my tongue.

As far as nurses salaries goes, I can assure you that a RN with 5 years experience in a private hospital can easily earn 30,000 Baht / month, I know this because in a previous job I was attempting to recruit Thai RN's to go and become aged care nurses in Australia (where there is a chronic shortage of aged care nurses) unfortunately the language requirement was too difficult to meet for most of them, and for those that were good enough with their English language skills, they were heading to the USA where they can earn upwards of 200,000 Baht / month.

Sin Sod is a very emotive subject for some people but generally it is given in cash at the wedding ceremony for show and in a lot of cases is returned to the couple getting married, minus any costs for the ceremony and party.

They signed an agreement re: sin sod? ... AND still have to got through with even though they hate each other now? How wacky does it get with this stuff? Is this a legally binding contract?

[geriatrickid]

And what makes you think she's going to stick around when you shout "Honey, I've shit the bed again!" GK?

She'll most probably get her Thai boyfriend on the side to smother you with a pillow.

Dad, is that you? He said the same thing. She did say that if I didn't stop snoring I was going to get mymouth taped shut.

My girlfriend work as a nurse at Siriraj. We been together 4 year, living together 3 years. Her mom want us to get engaged 17th this month (in combination with her mom's retirement party). Her mother have stated the terms "no sin sod. The mom pay engagement party- I pay the rings. I pay the wedding- the mom will provide the fake sin sod. Her mother is a high school teacher and her dad is chief commander in the air force.

Truly one of the best stories I have read in TV in a long time. It's so normal. Just regular people. Makes for a refreshing change from the usual depressing tales. I wish more stuff like this was posted.

Edited September 15, 2009 by geriatrickid

[mooncake]

^Didn't know there was a Mr. Mooncake - lucky lad.

A low profile man, out of public eyes…..shhhhhh

And I couldn’t wait any longer for you to choose ME over her, darling…. as my biological clock was ticking prematurely.

[Travel2003]

Isn't it kind of a weird question to ask a girl how much she thinks she's worth in Baht? I am thinking about it and if you asked any other girl how much she was worth in sin sot, wouldn't it be strange if she said 10,000 baht? Then she could just as well go down to Soi Cowboy!

I see your point.

But sometimes it seems like there are almost no limits to how personal one can be in Thailand.

I have lost count of how many times my Thai friends have asked me how much money I have in salary.

They dont see why I really do not want to answer that.

[IanForbes]

I also laughed at the "almost virgin" remark, but I know what the OP meant. The woman had only one lover previously. As far as sin sot is concerned I think it's up to the couple to work out. I doubt if there are any hard and fast rules. If the woman had been a lover with a previous man then I'm not sure how that would affect the sin sot. I certainly don't think a sin sot is in order when a woman has been previously married, or has children... even though a family might want it to happen for "face saving" sake with their neighbours.