How Much Should A Nurses Sin Sod Be?

[midasthailand]

I regret saying almost a virgin now. I was only adding that info for the sake of calculating the sinsod amount if it has anything to do with the way thais think. Some people here think i find it entertaining or something. I personally would prefer a non virgin as i dont see any benefit to a virgin at all. but she's only had 1 bf and only spent a few days with him for those that wanted to know.

Simple question turns into an attack. best not ask questions on this forum. Just hang around and cuss and belittle people instead. yeah this is the kind of people i like to hang out with - not.

I guess this is not the right place to come to to understand how sin sod works at different levels of thai society. i would have found it interesting to have some kind of very basic chart of examples of thai marriages and different education levels, social levels etc.

personally wouldnt pay 500,000 baht for the most beautiful girl in the world. Since its not something westerners would relate too unless you are a missionaire like Donnald Trump. However understanding it from a thai persepctive is what i was after. I have no intention of marrying this girl unless being her bf for at least a year after living with her and seeing how it goes, thats of course if meeting her goes well.

Thanks to those that gave decent answers. For those others that like to make snide comments: go bleep yourselves vigourously.

Don't take the bait my friend, you only encourage "them". My friends' brother is getting married in a couple of months in Isaan (Sisaket) and the parents have already signed the sin sod agreement for 100,000 Baht and 4 Baht of gold, the couple now hate each others guts but my friend says the marriage and payment of Sin sod must still take place! Personally I think far too much is made of "face" in this country but I am but a guest here so will hold my tongue.

As far as nurses salaries goes, I can assure you that a RN with 5 years experience in a private hospital can easily earn 30,000 Baht / month, I know this because in a previous job I was attempting to recruit Thai RN's to go and become aged care nurses in Australia (where there is a chronic shortage of aged care nurses) unfortunately the language requirement was too difficult to meet for most of them, and for those that were good enough with their English language skills, they were heading to the USA where they can earn upwards of 200,000 Baht / month.

Sin Sod is a very emotive subject for some people but generally it is given in cash at the wedding ceremony for show and in a lot of cases is returned to the couple getting married, minus any costs for the ceremony and party.

They signed an agreement re: sin sod? ... AND still have to got through with even though they hate each other now? How wacky does it get with this stuff? Is this a legally binding contract?

I do not think it is legally binding, has much more to do with "FACE" Something I just cannot get my head around, sure no one likes to be embarrassed but to go through with spending that amount of money on a sham is ridiculous. No amount of rational talking to the family can convince them that having the money still in their bank would be better than losing a bit of face!!

To the poster that enquired as to the value of 1 Baht of gold, it is approximately 15,000 Baht

[LooseCannon]

....

My girlfriend work as a nurse at Siriraj. We been together 4 year, living together 3 years. Her mom want us to get engaged 17th this month (in combination with her mom's retirement party). Her mother have stated the terms "no sin sod. The mom pay engagement party- I pay the rings. I pay the wedding- the mom will provide the fake sin sod. Her mother is a high school teacher and her dad is chief commander in the air force.

Truly one of the best stories I have read in TV in a long time. It's so normal. Just regular people. Makes for a refreshing change from the usual depressing tales. I wish more stuff like this was posted.

I think that you might find that it is much more common than you think - it's just not popular here.

I did not pay sin sod when I married. My mother-in-law stated that it was not required because I (& my family) was not Thai & there was no need to follow Thai tradition. But what I had to do was give her a commitment to look after,respect & protect her daughter. After she was satisfied that I was genuine, she gave her blessing.

One aspect of a Thai/Thai marriage that is missing in a Thai/farang marriage is that a traditional Thai marriage is the coming together of two families & the benefits that result from this union. The sin sod is for the benefit (face in it's many forms) of the groom's family as much as it is for the brides.This is completely lost when the groom is farang.For the most part a Thai groom's family pay the sin sod, & for the most part the farang groom's family is totally missing.

[somluck]

....

My girlfriend work as a nurse at Siriraj. We been together 4 year, living together 3 years. Her mom want us to get engaged 17th this month (in combination with her mom's retirement party). Her mother have stated the terms "no sin sod. The mom pay engagement party- I pay the rings. I pay the wedding- the mom will provide the fake sin sod. Her mother is a high school teacher and her dad is chief commander in the air force.

Truly one of the best stories I have read in TV in a long time. It's so normal. Just regular people. Makes for a refreshing change from the usual depressing tales. I wish more stuff like this was posted.

I think that you might find that it is much more common than you think - it's just not popular here.

I did not pay sin sod when I married. My mother-in-law stated that it was not required because I (& my family) was not Thai & there was no need to follow Thai tradition. But what I had to do was give her a commitment to look after,respect & protect her daughter. After she was satisfied that I was genuine, she gave her blessing.

One aspect of a Thai/Thai marriage that is missing in a Thai/farang marriage is that a traditional Thai marriage is the coming together of two families & the benefits that result from this union. The sin sod is for the benefit (face in it's many forms) of the groom's family as much as it is for the brides.This is completely lost when the groom is farang.For the most part a Thai groom's family pay the sin sod, & for the most part the farang groom's family is totally missing.

Hope I am not getting off topic by sharing my experience here.

My gf is 30, never been married a Uni grad and used to work as a teacher now she runs her own business. Her family is in upcountry Issan running a fairly successful restaurant, not rich but well to do by their province standards. My gf tells me the sin sod asked is relative to the assets that the lady or her family has, as once I become her husband, I will be entitled to a share of her assets. I reckon she has assets worth about 5 million. She has made it clear that the 2 million sin sod is for her mum and not to be returned. In return her mum will used part of the money to build an annex to the present house the family now lives.

By comparison her brother in law (a policeman) married her elder sister (uni grad civil servant) with sin sod of 200K (not returned). Her younger brother married an older widow with no sin sod (lady was pregnant with his child i might add)

She has told me that Thai culture for those widows/divorcees sin sod is not required. As with bar girls or former prostitues. She also pointed out differences for different areas (nuer vs issan etc) would have different interpretation of sin sod. I have a friend who married a chiangmai hill tribe girl with a pair of cows. And another french friend who paid 5 million for a bkk massage lady.

Anyone can point me in the right direction?

[WhiteShrek]

My gf... made that the 2 million sin sod is for her mum and not to be returned... Anyone can point me in the right direction?

Find the nearest exit. Close it firmly behind you and run. Direction is the least of your worries.

2 million is way over the odds, and would show you to be a complete donkey. Her explanation is at best misguided. Generally assets she owns before marriage will be deemed personal property, and belongs to her. Assets acquired during marriage will be considered communal property though and shared.

If you both insist on remaining in your "fairy tale", even 300k would be very generous, based on her older sister's arrangement, and more than enough to reflect your higher status than the brother-in-law. One way to put a figure to her is that you don't want to embarass your brother-in-law and don't want him to feel he is losing face. When it comes to face it's much nobler to think of other people than your own.

Edited September 16, 2009 by WhiteShrek

[WhiteShrek]

Ok here goes...

I make more money than a nurse and with the oversea education, Mr. Mooncake didn't pay any.

The only thing my parents wanted was for both of us to take good care of each other and wished us to be happy.

We're both under 30 …….first marriage for both of us

Best of luck to you tho

^Moon darling, shhhhhhhh don't ruin it - these lads think its normal to hand over huge amounts of dosh to marry a thai lady.

^Moon darling, shhhhhhhh don't ruin it - these lads think its normal to hand over huge amounts of dosh to marry a thai lady.

Oppsy...yea u r right, pee Brit

Hey at least I didn't show myself what a catch that I was (still am?), only you know what I look like tho..

Sounds to me like you need to widen your Thai social circles beyond just the two of you... and not just for experience of sinsot being paid...

[mrtoad]

. She has made it clear that the 2 million sin sod is for her mum and not to be returned. In return her mum will used part of the money to build an annex to the present house the family now lives.

Anyone can point me in the right direction?

As far away as possible from your present situation.

[LooseCannon]

..... She has made it clear that the 2 million sin sod is for her mum and not to be returned.......

Anyone can point me in the right direction?

I think that you have got your answer.

But lets try & get this in perspective....

B2,000,000 approx = US$60,000, AUD$68,000 & UK36,000

Now let us suppose that the parents of farang brides decide that 'sin sod' should be paid.

By using 'Gross annual wage' & GDP figures from Australia/US/UK compared to Thailand we get a multiplication factor of approx 6.

By no means scientific but I think a reasonably accurate figure.

Now would you be prepared to pay US$360,000 or AUD$408,000 or UK216,000 for your farang bride?

[imaneggspurt]

Is there a book like say a glass's guide on the value of thai women, bloody ell,.

[imaneggspurt]

. She has made it clear that the 2 million sin sod is for her mum and not to be returned. In return her mum will used part of the money to build an annex to the present house the family now lives.

Anyone can point me in the right direction?

As far away as possible from your present situation.

sounds like a bg in disguise,.

[LooseCannon]

Is there a book like say a glass's guide on the value of thai women, bloody ell,.

Judging by the number of times this question comes up it could be a profitable enterprise.

Some sort of Excel spreadsheet would work well or maybe an interactive web page.

[WhiteShrek]

Is there a book like say a glass's guide on the value of thai women, bloody ell,.

Excellent idea. The same categories could also be used: Trade, 1st Class, Average, High Mileage...

[harrry]

^Didn't know there was a Mr. Mooncake - lucky lad.

A low profile man, out of public eyes…..shhhhhh

And I couldn’t wait any longer for you to choose ME over her, darling…. as my biological clock was ticking prematurely.

And can we look forward to a little mooncake.

[MiG16]

seeing that this topic keeps popping up every 2 days or so

and as someone rightly pointed out, there isnt much to go on in the pinned thread, Ive taken the liberty of moving posts from this thread to the pinned thread. (and may move more from other recent threads on the topic)

I hope the posters of those comments do not object, but if you do please PM me and I will rectify the situation.

cheers