'expats' And Delusion

[miatai]

good, bad or ugly, some turn to thailand to become better for that's where they found the love of their lives. others, they came with nefarious thoughts on wine, woman and song - hence their boredom after a while after their "love" ones cannot light their fires and keep "pestering' them for more of this or that - hence the idea that the local tilaks are just bloodsuckers or gold diggers.

if the heart is sincere from the beginning , if exploiting the poor is not the ball-game here, thailand has a lot of love to offer that the home-bases do not have.

more importantly, is love all about sacrifices on bended knees , as an old song goes?

no. not the naughty kind of bended knees, but the ones where one picks up his brother when he falls even though he may be a stranger?

i may sound archaic and wearing tinted glasses here about love above charity.

no, the locals do not want our pity.....they, like us, want their self-esteem, sense of place and some pride to live a dignified life without any abuse.

if love is what one comes to thailand with a loadful and realise one can ameliorate the lives of the locals , the likeliness of adapting well in thailand is almost guaranteed.

otherwise, if one comes with lots of pompous attitudes, is loud mouthed, ever so picky on things not meeting standards of one's home country, one might as well stay back home and twiddle one's thumbs - that way, no one gets short-changed on their life choices.

figure out why some farangs avoid their own kinds by looking at the mirrors at oneself - as the japanese proverb suggests and as picked up by someone here.

therein , in the mirror, one can find oneself.

puritannical, freudian? perhaps.....

remember, thailand is a lovable place, be it because it is cheaper , blah, blah blah as compared to back home.

it need not necessarily be reduced to the bank account as one writer noted here about spending his 1,000,000 baht away on his kids' account, cheekily said, i hope....

but this could happen to with any kid anywhere in the world when they know daddy loves them most........

let love be in the air wherever you go, and it will surely follow you wherever you go.....

Edited September 21, 2009 by miatai

[mca]

I have precisely 2 western friends here. Straight family men who just enjoy a couple of beers, a chat and a laugh once a week. Same as me. They're my kind of people. They're happy enough with their Thai family/lifestyle as am I.

A lot of the expats I've met over the years I wouldn't speak to back home either through not having anything in common with them or them being complete nutters. I aren't that desperate for western company. I'm a family man. My wife, my daughter and my wife's family and pals are all I need.

Edited September 21, 2009 by mca

[KevinBloodyWilson]

Maybe its you who is the crazy one.Anywhere in the world we chose who we have as friends and Thailand is no different.I have many expat friends here and long time tourists,and if they were horrible people then i would not be friends with them.Very rich and average friends all mix in and iw ouldnt swap them for you at any cost.

bye bye

Not sure who you were talking to but of course you are right. Generally we pick friends on the basis of them being like us and having similar opinions and values. That would mean that horrid people gravitate towards other horrid people, something we will all have seen happen.

Gad you have so many friends.

Thanks Kev,and the post was for the op.Good friends are worth their weight in gold and makes living very wonderful.also i think i am a great guy but have a bad temper sometimes,but not to friends.A good judge of character is useful in a strange country too and that includes my thai friends,but overall my 6 years stay has given me realy good mates.

And good luck to you. I agree with you.

[KevinBloodyWilson]

How about this for another goofball generalization about human beings.

There are two kinds of expats in Thailand:

1. Those who realize each one is an individual with their own unique life story

2. Those who feel the need to put all of them into some kind of pidgeonhole based on superficial appearances

I agree with you so much. It is always and absolutely wrong to pidgeonhole people like that. Outrageous.

There are two kinds of expats in Thailand:

1. Those who realize each one is an individual with their own unique life story

2. Those who feel the need to put all of them into some kind of pidgeonhole based on superficial appearances

Ohh. Sorry

[KevinBloodyWilson]

Thailand's great if you are a natural born sociopath like myself.

Have some sympathy. We just want to be left alone.

Why did I get a voice talking about liver, fava beans and a nice chianti when i read that?

Spooky.

[MJP]

Having lived in Thailand for enough time to enable a fair evaluation of the types of people who choose to live here (Thailand) rather than there (their 'home countries') and have found for the most part, they seem to feel in some way more intrepid, or, less racist (as some poor delusional woman sought to convince herself, on another thread somewhere), than their home country counterparts.

I'm here for the weather and the food (not the 'culture' ...), but some back home choose to put up with the endless cold rain in return for being able to visit galleries, theatres, proper stand up comedy, proper pubs, clubs etc.

After the initial warm, fluffy feeling toward their fellow expats and locals has worn off, most of them would prefer to stay within the confines of their gated community, moo baan giving barely a nod or 'good morning' to their fellow ex compatriots, having realised that the people they meet actually living here are either straight out of a French and Saunders skit (pass the bacardi breezer/can of chang), El Dorado soap (congenitally chav/colonel blimp), or having not been able to fully embrace the diametrically opposed culture or mix thereof, profoundly neurotic, aka lost the plot.

I do from time to time come across some interesting chaps here, but they all say the same thing - they'd prefer to stay at home as unless you're up to a night out at the local karaoke/gogo bar, there's nothing else here. Is there?

There's actually plenty.

Here in Issan it's tea with many of the old neighbours most days, go round the shop every morning to see my mate Tong, chat about stuff, do the garden, look after daughter, chat with mum, go shopping in the big town every other weekend, chat with a few on email, argue with sister, experimental cooking (that means it's inedible and I often give myself near death experiences), house full of kids charging round on a Saturday, having sound-off competitions with my next door neighbour (my Four Tops or Etta James is beaten into submission by her Guns and Roses most days), hear all about the gossip . . . village life here is great if you're accepted.

Only downside is the wife, was MIA since March, now back like a big black cloud.

[lioness]

About 200 expats in my area, I have 3 exceptionally good friends, the rest well.... their lifestyle is totally different and hence nothing in common. I am a family person so thats where I put in my time.

My friends come to dinner, we occassionally have outings together, the nicest thing about my friends is they don't whinge and carry on, they accept their life in Thailand and are happy with it as am I.

However, if the english speaking gentleman who found me sobbing in the local hospital the other day happens to read this, thank you for speaking to me, my husband is out of ICU and on the mend and hopefully he won't be coming into contact with any more King Cobras again.

[MJP]

About 200 expats in my area, I have 3 exceptionally good friends, the rest well.... their lifestyle is totally different and hence nothing in common. I am a family person so thats where I put in my time.

My friends come to dinner, we occassionally have outings together, the nicest thing about my friends is they don't whinge and carry on, they accept their life in Thailand and are happy with it as am I.

However, if the english speaking gentleman who found me sobbing in the local hospital the other day happens to read this, thank you for speaking to me, my husband is out of ICU and on the mend and hopefully he won't be coming into contact with any more King Cobras again.

Yikes! Seriously?

Hope he's okay now.

[chiang mai]

The OP is far too smug to warrant any further answer from this quarter.

[lioness]

Yikes! Seriously?

Hope he's okay now.

Yes seriously, But he;s much better now, thank you.

[lannarebirth]

And what observations can you glean when looking in a mirror?

I observe your avatar and say "I want my money back"

"I observe you avatar" Ok, I got that part. That's my dog BTW, who died last year. Hope you weren't dissing my dog.

"and say "I want my money back"". hmmm; nope, don't get that.

" " yerself.

[bendix]

I moved to Thailand five years ago to make my fortune. I did it to a certain degree. I have moved back to the west to increase my fortune, while retaining my ties to Thailand (which I consider home). I am doing that to a degree also.

I will move back to Thailand in a few years to spend my fortune. I suspect that will be the nicest option of the three.

As for other expats? Some good ones. Some shit ones, I'm sure. I think I spoke to an expat once, but he didnt have much to say for himself, so I moved on.

[dragonfly94]

I'm here for the weather and the food (not the 'culture' ...),

Anyone choosing to live in another country just for the weather and the food must be quite shallow. They are better reasons than beer and women, but not by much. It does make me laugh when people either talk about loving Thai culture, often when they have only been on holiday, and expats deriding it as not interesting or worthless. Too often neither has much of a clue about Thai culture and could not answer the simplest of questions about it.

[Jingthing]

I don't judge why people choose to live here. The longer I am here the less I am interested in the culture. I am fine with that, what is your problem? Did it occur to you that a country is just a place, that we might have other interests that are more personally compelling than this culture? Who dictates that people living anyplace must become obsessed with the local culture? Isn't that a matter of personal interests and choice?

BTW, yes I do like the food and the weather is OK and living here is working for me. I just don't give a fig about Buddhist temples, is that OK with you? I am more interested in the modern Mexican cinema, which BTW, I can enjoy in Thailand. Again, is that OK with you? Just checking.

Excuse me while I step out, time to watch "My Mexican Shivah" (seriously)

http://sfjff.org/festival_2007/film/501/

Edited September 21, 2009 by Jingthing

[MJP]

I don't judge why people choose to live here. The longer I am here the less I am interested in the culture. I am fine with that, what is your problem? Did it occur to you that a country is just a place, that we might have other interests that are more personally compelling than this culture? Who dictates that people living anyplace must become obsessed with the local culture? Isn't that a matter of personal interests and choice?

BTW, yes I do like the food and the weather is OK and living here is working for me. I just don't give a fig about Buddhist temples, is that OK with you? I am more interested in the modern Mexican cinema, which BTW, I can enjoy in Thailand. Again, is that OK with you? Just checking.

Some people think the World is a big place. We tend not to. It's just another place to sit down and put ones feet up before the next great chaotic boat load of work hits us and we dash off to attempt another premature heart attack. My problem has always been restlessness, nomadic restlessness. It's not the Thai's or anyone, it's me. I guess I just like airport lounges and pressurized cabins.

Like most countries, the culture here has been diluted and swallowed by the global culture of mainstream materialism. I take an interest in village life here in Issan, I find it calming (until these guys hit the Lau Kao), not humbling but certainly a break from western commercial pressures.

[yabaaaa]

Having lived in Thailand for enough time to enable a fair evaluation of the types of people who choose to live here (Thailand) rather than there (their 'home countries') and have found for the most part, they seem to feel in some way more intrepid, or, less racist (as some poor delusional woman sought to convince herself, on another thread somewhere), than their home country counterparts.

I'm here for the weather and the food (not the 'culture' ...), but some back home choose to put up with the endless cold rain in return for being able to visit galleries, theatres, proper stand up comedy, proper pubs, clubs etc.

After the initial warm, fluffy feeling toward their fellow expats and locals has worn off, most of them would prefer to stay within the confines of their gated community, moo baan giving barely a nod or 'good morning' to their fellow ex compatriots, having realised that the people they meet actually living here are either straight out of a French and Saunders skit (pass the bacardi breezer/can of chang), El Dorado soap (congenitally chav/colonel blimp), or having not been able to fully embrace the diametrically opposed culture or mix thereof, profoundly neurotic, aka lost the plot.

I do from time to time come across some interesting chaps here, but they all say the same thing - they'd prefer to stay at home as unless you're up to a night out at the local karaoke/gogo bar, there's nothing else here. Is there?

I have no need for cinemas , theaters, social meeting, pubs, bar girls /boys/ladymen, art galleries, museums, etc I just need my garden and the internet. Oh I forgot I have no interest in Thai culture, Buddhism, language.

Edited September 21, 2009 by yabaaaa

[IanForbes]

I think it's pretty much the same throughout the western culture worlds as well. There are people who actually have so many interests that there's not enough time in the day. There is also the group that just wants to watch TV or drink and eat all day. It takes all types to make a world. I also notice Thais who do absolutely nothing all day but sit around and wait for something to happen. I don't think the expats have an exclusve on doing nothing. I'm too busy wherever I am to worry what others do.

[mca]

I also notice Thais who do absolutely nothing all day but sit around and wait for something to happen.

You've met those blokes building my koi pond then Ian? You should have rang the bell and popped in for a cuppa!

[posttenebraslux]

Why does it bother you? I'm sure every ex-pat has his/her own reasons for choosing to live here rather than their home country and it's quite possible that they are living the same way as they would like to in their home country too but maybe, can't afford it there. Others maybe have no ties, commitments or even family in their own country and just chose to live in the climate of their choice.

I love to see the retirees here who look like they have a new lease of life and can enjoy it in the warmth of the company they choose and the heat of the day. It's also a far better option for some whose families are just waiting for them to retire at 65 so they can shove them in an old peoples home somewhere so they can sell the house and not even bother to visit again. How about that option after you've worked all your life.

Very good opinion. I think you've hit the spot. I like it here too and enjoy my remaining years. Thank you very much.

[PST]

Its the amount of bitterness here that amazes me,blokes who have been dumped by their western women then come here,they just hate to see a thai/western relationship working,especially if the guy in the relationship hasnt been dumped by an ex,They look for any type of fault/flaw which they can use to convice themselves that its not working,and procede to try and convince others around them.

Sad people,and quite a few of them around.

PST.

[MJP]

Its the amount of bitterness here that amazes me,blokes who have been dumped by their western women then come here,they just hate to see a thai/western relationship working,especially if the guy in the relationship hasnt been dumped by an ex,They look for any type of fault/flaw which they can use to convice themselves that its not working,and procede to try and convince others around them.

Sad people,and quite a few of them around.

PST.

Not at all. It's nice to see relationships that work. But from experience and knowledge of many other Thai/Westerner relationships (as well as western/western relationships) I'm deeply skeptical of the institution that is marriage, regardless of race.

It's too high a risk. Both financially and emotionally.

[a99az]

I just live here with my wife and children, just as I did in Spain and the UK before nothing special in that. But I do love Thailand it's so easy going, and the out door life is great for the children a bit like Spain but all year round.

[PST]

Your view i guess,i'm not saying everyones bitter,but it raises its head on a regular basis.The worst are the guys who have been dumped by their western ex,then come here and the same happens,bitter and twisted individuals who love it when they think they've got something on someone,then procede to tell their mates about it in the local bar.

Hear and see this happen all the time here.

PST.

[MJP]

Your view i guess,i'm not saying everyones bitter,but it raises its head on a regular basis.The worst are the guys who have been dumped by their western ex,then come here and the same happens,bitter and twisted individuals who love it when they think they've got something on someone,then procede to tell their mates about it in the local bar.

Hear and see this happen all the time here.

PST.

It's just another experience I shall not repeat in the future. Tried my best but in the end things change and time moves on. I am going to take a much greater interest in myself from now on, as I've always put myself last before everyone else. I don't want much, very little as it turns out. Mowing the lawn is my greatest pleasure, bit of weeding etc. I'm also going to travel more, moving to Bermuda shortly for a couple of years too. I've always wanted to go to Florence. Crete too. Perhaps go back to the US to see family.

[JetsetBkk]

I find that I tend to ignore most other farangs and stick to my Thai acquaintances. However, I also find that quite often when you start talking to these dastardly infidels - the other expats - that you actually find that they are just like you, are quite nice really, and just want to chat to another farang.

It really pisses me off that these other expats can be so nice.

[MJP]

I find that I tend to ignore most other farangs and stick to my Thai acquaintances. However, I also find that quite often when you start talking to these dastardly infidels - the other expats - that you actually find that they are just like you, are quite nice really, and just want to chat to another farang.

It really pisses me off that these other expats can be so nice.

Yep. Had to go to Pattaya last weekend to buy a new PC, laptop packed up (second one in 18 months!). Sat in a cafe in Jomtien got talking to another Brit, first off I thought he'd be the stereotypical . . . . nicest bloke you could meet. Really trying hard for his wife and kid here.

New PC is fantastic!

[RakJungTorlae]

I don’t think there are any words to express the shock and eerie feeling I get form reading through most of the postings on this thread

But I have my own conclusion to give to the OP. That most expats never really grew past kindergarten, KRS = kindergarten retardation syndrome. So I guess Thailand is one big kindergarten.

Enough said.

[Rionoir]

After spending the last 2 years in Thailand, I have decided I am going to work in the US half the year, and live in Thailand the other half of the year. I get a little lazy and crazy when I'm there too long, and besides that I don't want to teach English, I'll make more money in 6 months working in the US than 3 years of teaching there. It seems like a good compromise for me. Hopefully one day I can bring my partner to the US for those 6 months I'm working, but it's so hard for Thai to get a visa to come here without being married or something... it's still better this way.

Actually, if it wasn't for trying to have a relationship and having spent sooooo many hours learning Thai, I would spend my 6 months somewhere new every year... but, alas... for now Thailand it will be.

I have met many types of farang in Thailand... some make me wonder why they live there, the whole gated farang community thing... and some are my best friends who either live there or spend half their year there like I do now. They are some of the best friends I've ever had.

[nputman]

First time I came here in 94 I fell in love with the place.

Living here full time now and still feel the same.

Beats the #$@! out of me as to why

[IanForbes]

It's just another experience I shall not repeat in the future. Tried my best but in the end things change and time moves on. I am going to take a much greater interest in myself from now on, as I've always put myself last before everyone else. I don't want much, very little as it turns out. Mowing the lawn is my greatest pleasure, bit of weeding etc. I'm also going to travel more, moving to Bermuda shortly for a couple of years too. I've always wanted to go to Florence. Crete too. Perhaps go back to the US to see family.

I can identify with your situation, MJP; I was in a similar situation. I was always trying too hard at being Mr Nice Guy. But... No more! I still like to help people because it makes ME feel good, and I do a lot of charity work. But, I'm looking after number one from now on, and I have since my last marriage ended in 1996. It's great!!! Because I'm free to do as I wish I'm a much happier man. I have more lady friends than I ever did and yet I only have to pay for one. If I want to I can be generous, and I don't get told by a lawyer how much I owe some blood sucking leech.

It might not suit everyone's life style, but it sure suits mine. I'm always like a kid in a candy store and have a hard time choosing what to do next. And, in Thailand I can do it on a relatively low budget.