cognos Posted November 10, 2009 Author Share Posted November 10, 2009 one more..many Thais would probably rather lose their LIFE than lose FACE..if my wife is any example Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chriswatson Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Talking in the Thai language. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andyww Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 All Thai houses have the following: Several glass-fronted cabinets full of complete crap One power socket with a whole mass of adaptors balanced precariously, emanating sparks, which supply the fridge, TV and every other electrical item. One of those fold-away sauna things which is never ever used Masses of religious items which take up most of one room A ceiling fan which is 50 years old and worryingly swinging around but never actually stops working A TV which is never switched off and always loud Several of those tissue box covers with a gold molded pattern (Every Thai car has one of these as well) Uncomfortable plastic-covered sofas Those stainless-steel door knobs with locks in the middle, which offer no security at all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThailandLovr Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 (edited) How about sitting down for dinner (on the floor) and putting a huge pile of rice on even a tiny girl's plate, then proceeding to eat by placing minuscule plips of a paste or sauce (probably viol) on the rice. Then repeating with more tiny plips, but never more than one plip at a time. As if the eating pleasure is somehow maximized by eating in plips . I like to spoon on large amounts in advance just to annoy them. But alas, as usual I am just ignored. I am amazed how a bowl of rice is looked at as though it were tenderloin tips. Mah, gin khao! And everybody excitedly comes a runnin'! Edited November 11, 2009 by ThailandLovr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stinkyfarang Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 the limpwristed hand down taxi wave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mason45 Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 How about sitting down for dinner (on the floor) and putting a huge pile of rice on even a tiny girl's plate, then proceeding to eat by placing minuscule plips of a paste or sauce (probably viol) on the rice. Then repeating with more tiny plips, but never more than one plip at a time. As if the eating pleasure is somehow maximized by eating in plips . I like to spoon on large amounts in advance just to annoy them. But alas, as usual I am just ignored. I am amazed how a bowl of rice is looked at as though it were tenderloin tips. Mah, gin khao! And everybody excitedly comes a runnin'! My son inlaw went to university and his English is very good, anyway one day I got talking to him and asked him to write a sign in Thai for our outside toilet, it goes like this : theres no use standing on the seat the crabs in this toilet can jump 6 feet. When we have a mob around for a party which is quite often, you should see the looks on their faces after they've relieved themselves. Seriously do Thais stand on toilet seats, many of the public toilets Ive been to in Thailand suggest that they straddle the rafters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanook2me Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 All Thai houses have the following:Several glass-fronted cabinets full of complete crap I just spat me false teeth out! so true! You may well laugh Tonto but once while using an upcountry petrol station crapper I started to wobble a bit in the crouched position. I put my hand on the concrete trough for water to steady myself. The trough was a bit rickety on its foundations itself so I slipped and my arse fell straight into the toilet with my legs straight out in front of me.The horror. I must have spent half an hour just washing my nether regions in the shower when I got home. Shaking my head to get rid of the image! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PoorSucker Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 You may well laugh Tonto but once while using an upcountry petrol station crapper I started to wobble a bit in the crouched position. I put my hand on the concrete trough for water to steady myself. The trough was a bit rickety on its foundations itself so I slipped and my arse fell straight into the toilet with my legs straight out in front of me.The horror. I must have spent half an hour just washing my nether regions in the shower when I got home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevymac Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 The 2 finger doubled nostril picking techinque! i seen a woman maybe 112 years old at a bus stop with 2 fingers on same hand both up her nozzas at the same time. never seen that anywere else in the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amir Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 Sniffing prior to, or more often in place of, a greeting kiss, is not uniquely Thai. Pacific islanders, Polynesian and Melanesian do that. In almost all Asian countries also... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hope Immanence Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 Thais LOVE love RAMA 5 for saving Thailand..by giving away the leaves of the artichoke( to Burma, Cambodia, China, Vietnam..), leaving the bare artichoke( LOS as we now know it) Wouldn't it be more accurate to say that RAMA 5 'expanded out' Siam to create (rather than save) Thailand for the first time? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tonto21 Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 Tonto21 , I just about fell off my chair , funniest thing I have heard on TV in a long time . Yes! That’s my girlfriend, that incident happened just over 3 years ago, she is soon to be my wife. Not a day goes by that she doesn’t imparts some Thai wisdom on me, in word or deed. In her latest effort to total confuse me started while I was asleep. Picture the scene, I was fast asleep, in a flash I awoke to the sound of “quick, quick get up, mayday mayday, your bottom finger” (her words, honestly) and with that she disappeared out of the bedroom!!!! I sat-up in bed expecting to see flame licking around the bed... No! A snake maybe...No! It was just getting light outside. After quickly assessing my life was not about to end, I flopped back on the bed. After a couple of minutes my G/F came back with a cup of coffee for me (something else for the list... Hot! Thai coffee! Do’s it exist? I don’t think so) Anyway, she says, “get up, we have to go soon” “why, where we going” I say, Well! What ensures is not far short of a comedy sketch, staring my G/F, Naa as Benny Hill running around picking thing up and moving them, all the time talking in Thailish and me, playing the part of Basil Fawlty, all at 6 in the morning. After what seemed like an eternity, she blurted out, “Bottom finger” in total frustration at not being understood.......”Bottom finger” I say, “yes” she says..... “Your bottom finger” “Oooooo well! I’m glad we’ve cleared that up....... “Naa what are you on about?” This is where my G/F excels in making me feel, like, I’m a bone head! She very calmly takes me by the hand and sits me on the bed, looks me in the eyes (like a mother to a small child) and then holds up her hand, pointing to her fingers she says, “what you call this” (the trepidation builds inside of me) I say “a finger” she then says to me.....”Good boy” then she points to her feet, “what this” ....“A Foot” “No” she says, “the things on end” Oh, I say, “a toe”........ “No” she tells me! “This bottom finger” to this day and forevermore, a toe in our house is now known as a bottom finger! Why the panic! Well I had an appointment at the local medical clinic that day at 10am to change a dressing on my Toe..... Sorry, Bottom Finger! She is my friend, she is my light, she is my joy, and she is all I’m not, but would like to be........ My wife to be! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bkkjames Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 Here's another one, the inability to enter a lift in pairs without talking about the quality of food, the cost of food, or where to buy it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PoorSucker Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 Calling the wrong number and hanging up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bifftastic Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 "quick, quick get up, mayday mayday, your bottom finger" just brilliant! she actually said 'mayday mayday'???? too funny! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tonto21 Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 "quick, quick get up, mayday mayday, your bottom finger" Yes! "Mayday Mayday" is used by my G/f to get my attention for all manner of emergencies, ranging from, and I quote, as well as I can remember: "Mayday, mayday, you know old man, have one arm, and blue feet" (he wears them low cut wellingtons, blue).........."He dead" to everyday things like: "Mayday Mayday, come quick! Coco, (one of our dogs) he blow up!!!!!! (Dog was being sick) Never a dull moment! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Birdman Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 Foot prints on the toilet seat ?? Ha ha ha ha, Yes! My first encounter with this. (Foot prints and toilet seats) I had not been in Thailand long and was driving to Chiangmai from Pattaya. I stopped with my girlfriend for rest at a service station. As I was walking into the toilet area, a man was being carried out, with a nasty cut on his head and looking worse for wear! I didn’t speak any Thai at this time, so I didn’t have the foggiest what was going on. Long story short, I got back to the car and we start to drive away, I say to my g/f “I don’t know what happened to the men who got hurt” My g/f said, without missing a beat, “he fall down toilet” I say No Naa, “he would have fallen off the toilet not down it” She looked at me for a long time...... thinking......and says, OK “he fall off toilet”..........”but first he foot fall down toilet, then he fall off and he hit his head on wall” Even funnier: I have seen a farang sitting on a Thai toilette Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
himachal Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 Some funny observations above: well done!Buying new chairs/lounges/stools and leaving the plastic on it Buying a car without having the mechanics checked... Using the same gaudy interior fittings/signage/flower arrangments/color scheme at seminars, workshops etc. Hardware stores selling rope by the kilo, not by length. Just how helpful is that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brahmburgers Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 (edited) Claiming to highly respect monks, yet won't slow or stop when they see monks trying to cross the street. Neither will the slow or stop for elderly who are clearly wanting to cross a street. If you stop at a narrow street to allow an oncoming vehicle to go through, there's no acknowledgment, no thanks given by other driver or passengers. When making a purchase, always putting item(s) in plastic, regardless of how many layers of plastic it's already covered in and, when ready to hand the change, always wanting to put the item in your hands immediately beforehand, so you have one hand, or no hands, to accept the change. In so doing, you have to put the package down somewhere, in order to put bills in your wallet, and back in your pocket, then go and pick the package up. Why not just hand the change, and then, when you've dealt with that, hand the item(s) you just bought? Touching right elbow with left hand when giving money. Being called to loudly by female voices saying 'hello massage,' when it's doubtful your name is 'massage.' When parked, always closing all windows 100%. When about roll up or roll down a very noisy metal store protection wall, never waiting until a passer-by is a bit further away, and never saying,'loud noise' to warn others. Not minding their own barking dogs, and getting very offended if someone else has the gall to mention the gross disturbance. Indeed, not knowing how to hush up their dogs, even it they try (which is seldom). At best, they might make a whimpy little noise in the direction of the dog, which is about as effective as holding your hand to your mouth to block out polluted city air - which is another odd Thai trait. Even if you're the only person in a store or restaurant, a Thai manager will never ever ask if the music is to your liking and/or never in a 1000 years will they ask you if the volume might be too loud. Indeed, if you mention the volume, chances are 50% they'll get offended and/or turn it down a smidgen if at all. If 1 degree above perfect temperature, they say 'too hot' if 1 degree below, they 'too cold.' Edited November 11, 2009 by brahmburgers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThailandLovr Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 (edited) Seeming to be more sympathetic to the unknown idiot Thai driver who just cut me off than supportive to me. "You can more careful". Edited November 11, 2009 by ThailandLovr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BusyB Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 Openly picking your nose in public and coughing all over people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tonto21 Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 How about when shopping, handing 110 baht over for a 60 baht bill, expecting, nay! Hoping to get a 50 baht note in change, only to be given a hand full of small coins and a shit eating grin from a freshly zit squished face, which has that “you stupid farang” look about it! What I like about this is the obvious feeling of power and joy that I am a dumb farang. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tonto21 Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 Foot prints on the toilet seat ?? Ha ha ha ha, Yes! My first encounter with this. (Foot prints and toilet seats) I had not been in Thailand long and was driving to Chiangmai from Pattaya. I stopped with my girlfriend for rest at a service station. As I was walking into the toilet area, a man was being carried out, with a nasty cut on his head and looking worse for wear! I didn't speak any Thai at this time, so I didn't have the foggiest what was going on. Long story short, I got back to the car and we start to drive away, I say to my g/f "I don't know what happened to the men who got hurt" My g/f said, without missing a beat, "he fall down toilet" I say No Naa, "he would have fallen off the toilet not down it" She looked at me for a long time...... thinking......and says, OK "he fall off toilet".........."but first he foot fall down toilet, then he fall off and he hit his head on wall" Even funnier: I have seen a farang sitting on a Thai toilette That Birdman, puts imagery to a whole new, unwanted level, I’ve only just managed to fog out mca’s story, (page 3) let’s move on a! Ha ha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cognos Posted November 11, 2009 Author Share Posted November 11, 2009 40 year difference in age between Farand and Thai GF/wife ( only 15 years in this case, bucked the trend ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cognos Posted November 11, 2009 Author Share Posted November 11, 2009 okay for Thai GF/ wife to change her mind constantly, but God help us when we do... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonobo Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 This thread is amusing and interesting, but let's not let it devolve into a platform for Thai-bashing. Some posts have been deleted, and further such posts will result in warnings and/or suspensions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cognos Posted November 11, 2009 Author Share Posted November 11, 2009 The Thai greeting of Kin cow Lao young?? .. Have you eaten (rice) ?? Granted, we all love food.. but the Thais perhaps take the food obsession to a whole new level Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brahmburgers Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 Even funnier: I have seen a farang sitting on a Thai toilette I rented an apartment which only had a squatter. It was on a 9" raised masonary/tiled platform, like most are. I duly went and bought a cheap toilet seat cover, took off the lid, and just put the donut flat on the squatter. Few days later, when two cleaning women were doing their rounds, I heard a cacaphony of laughter from the hong nam. Yup, they'd seen the contraption and thought it was hilarious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Birdman Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 Why didn't you fix that toilet seat cover with ropes hanging from the ceiling? So that it can be used as a swing as well? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonobo Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 "Mayday, mayday!" kept me chuckling all last night. The whole post is one of my top favorites of the year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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