Matan Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 My girlfriend's parents split up years ago, but her father is a layabout, useless drunk who is heckling her for money and threatening harm to her mother if she doesn't comply. My girlfriend seems to feel an obligation to look after her father, but his demands for sin sodt, when he does not even have a job, are entirely unreasonable. She is torn because she hates him, but feels obliged to care for him. I told her it would be better not to let mum and dad know we're dating because the pressure will surely increase tenfold when she has a millionaire with big money in tow. Has anyone dealt with a similar situation before? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrtoad Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 Top marks for originality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matan Posted November 11, 2009 Author Share Posted November 11, 2009 Top marks for originality. It seems mine is a unique and troubling problem in the land of smiles. Anyway, you can't choose your parents Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 No, but you can choose your girlfriends Suggest to your girlfriend that as long as the layabout drunk dad is an issue the relationship won't be going too far. Unrepentant Drunks are bad news, regardless of nationality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ozzieovaseas Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 You ask if anyones dealt with a similar situation before? Mate, actually Yes, Its amazing, I have personally had this exact same story trumped on me..really Maybe its the same broad, Maybe you should PM me her name just out of interest, Second thoughts..Nah, it couldnt possibly be the same person,there must be millions of em out there The only difference is how "torn" they are and the quality of the acting. Best "investment" for farang in LOS..remain perennially single Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IanForbes Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 sbk gave the best advice. You set YOUR own standards of what is acceptible TO YOU! Then, let the girl friend and mother deal with it. I look after a Thai family that always tries to extort more money from me. I help out for the children's sake and nobody else. I set aside a certain amount of money each month and that is it. They can do with it as they wish. I inform the mother that there is no more, so don't even ask. If push comes to shove you can always explain the hard and fast rules and then walk away. They have to live with the consequences of their own actions. You can't possibly help everyone, so don't even try. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrtoad Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 Top marks for originality. It seems mine is a unique and troubling problem in the land of smiles. Anyway, you can't choose your parents I very much doubt that it is, but as SBK has already said you have a choice, and I for one would run a mile if I had to put up with that sort of shit. It'll only get worse, if that sort of nonsense has already started. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matan Posted November 11, 2009 Author Share Posted November 11, 2009 (edited) Top marks for originality. It seems mine is a unique and troubling problem in the land of smiles. Anyway, you can't choose your parents I very much doubt that it is, but as SBK has already said you have a choice, and I for one would run a mile if I had to put up with that sort of shit. It'll only get worse, if that sort of nonsense has already started. To be honest I'm not having to put up with anything, he's just heckling her and she is not bugging me at all and certainly not asking me for anything. I'm no fool anyway and there's no chance of some work-shy drunkard getting anything off me It was more help for her. Edited November 11, 2009 by Matan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patong Bob Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 We need a poll here. Has anyone ever gone to the village with his girl and met a father who wasn't a drunken layabout ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phazey Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 Easiest way to deal with the problem; 2 to the chest, 1 to the head. Problem solved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitsch22 Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 We need a poll here.Has anyone ever gone to the village with his girl and met a father who wasn't a drunken layabout ? I really miss my late FIL. During the 16 years throughout which I was privileged to know him before his death a few years ago I never once saw him seriously affected by drink (even on the occasion of my wedding to his daughter). By a lifetime of hard work but without the advantage of literacy he managed to raise a family of nine children and leave to each of them sufficient land to ensure an adequate start in life. He sold us (very cheaply) the land where we built our house. During his last few years of life we spent a bit of cash looking after him (no more than a few hundred thousand Baht in total) and in return my wife received the land share which would otherwise have been the portion of her elder brother who predeceased the father. I am proud to have his picture adorn the walls of our homes both in Thailand and in UK. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IanForbes Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 We need a poll here.Has anyone ever gone to the village with his girl and met a father who wasn't a drunken layabout ? I really miss my late FIL. During the 16 years throughout which I was privileged to know him before his death a few years ago I never once saw him seriously affected by drink (even on the occasion of my wedding to his daughter). By a lifetime of hard work but without the advantage of literacy he managed to raise a family of nine children and leave to each of them sufficient land to ensure an adequate start in life. He sold us (very cheaply) the land where we built our house. During his last few years of life we spent a bit of cash looking after him (no more than a few hundred thousand Baht in total) and in return my wife received the land share which would otherwise have been the portion of her elder brother who predeceased the father. I am proud to have his picture adorn the walls of our homes both in Thailand and in UK. Thanks for that story, Kitsch22. It puts an alternate viewpoint to the otherwise negative outlook of most thaivisa readers. I've met just as many great Thai fathers as I've met lazy slobs. There IS no one size fits all. But, it's like all news... you only hear the bad crap because that is what bugs people enough to post something. It's no different than the every day news you read in papers and see on TV. There is nothing newsworthy about the boring, everyday life that 95% of the people lead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slapout Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 What did we do with this and similar problems prior to the internet and TV? We all have to make decisions in our lives which may affect our short/long term plans and objectives. Do you not have a father, grandfather, other relative, friend who you went to for advice in the past? If your answer is no, you may be a orphaned street child, and this should be one of the most solvable problems which you have been exposed to. If the millions made by whomever the gf has in tow were a result of advice from TV then continue on in your quest, otherwise, look at the best and the worst scenario you can imagine and make up your own mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samuian Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 S&W-44-Magnum could be a solution considered, too! well, I am joking... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassienie Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 No, but you can choose your girlfriendsSuggest to your girlfriend that as long as the layabout drunk dad is an issue the relationship won't be going too far. Unrepentant Drunks are bad news, regardless of nationality. Excellent reply. And to add; get involved with losers, become one yourself. We all have our own problems to deal with, so why take on board someone elses? The question you need to ask yourself is: What`s in it for me? If you believe that this relationship is good for you, than go ahead. Fools never listen to advice or use common sense, they only learn by experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hssl Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 Take him to the pub Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 My FIL is not a drunk. Nor a layabout. He never drinks at all, still works very hard even tho he is financially very well off. In fact, we can't get the man to STOP working. So yes there are non-drunk, non-lazy FIL's out there, Anyway, if matan's girlfriend is that involved with her drunken, useless dad, then eventually, it will affect the relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samuian Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 and then there are cases, where it isn't her father....but then this is the realm of speculations! But these things happen every once in a while! I agree with the loser - phenomena! Take good care of your self - FIRST! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
givenall Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 When will farang boy friends learn there are many ways to skin a cat and even more ways to separate farangs from their hard earn $$$$$$. Just say no and see what happens. If she want to be with you nothing if not they will leave and good ridden to them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spoonman Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 Has anyone ever gone to the village with his girl and met a father who wasn't a drunken layabout ? Yeah, my missus old man whilst he likes a big chang or 6 runs a fresh produce stall, along with his wife this seems to occupy atleast 14hrs a day, i reckon he deserves to have a beer or two after the day is done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brigante7 Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 We need a poll here.Has anyone ever gone to the village with his girl and met a father who wasn't a drunken layabout ? Yep, me. Brigante7. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mahtin Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 We need a poll here.Has anyone ever gone to the village with his girl and met a father who wasn't a drunken layabout ? Yep, me. Brigante7. And me, in fact my experience is close to Kitsch's, my FIL having married a woman who already had 3 kids - unusual for TL. Has anyone ever read a thread where some waste of space hasn't made a snide remark? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassienie Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 When will farang boy friends learn there are many ways to skin a cat and even more ways to separate farangs from their hard earn $$$$$$. Just say no and see what happens. If she want to be with you nothing if not they will leave and good ridden to them Very true. This one is probably number 36 in the 1001 Ways To Scam A Farang Thai girlfriend Manuel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heng Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 Why isn't the discussion of drunken layabout fathers prohibited? *takes a drink* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heng Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 This one is probably number 36 in the 1001 Ways To Scam A Farang Thai girlfriend Manuel. Is rule number 37 not to date a Thai girl named Manuel? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geekfreaklover Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 We need a poll here.Has anyone ever gone to the village with his girl and met a father who wasn't a drunken layabout ? Yep, me. Brigante7. And me, in fact my experience is close to Kitsch's, my FIL having married a woman who already had 3 kids - unusual for TL. Has anyone ever read a thread where some waste of space hasn't made a snide remark? Well I must be honest here. My ex's father never said a bad word about me. This may be because he had a stroke before I met him, which made him mute. Before I get flamed. This is a true story. We still meet up now and again so he can see his grand chidlren. We get on ok using sign language. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mca Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 This one is probably number 36 in the 1001 Ways To Scam A Farang Thai girlfriend Manuel. Is rule number 37 not to date a Thai girl named Manuel? And stop calling me Shirley. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heng Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 roger Roger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wolf5370 Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 My FIL, not from a village, is ex-navy (officer) - I have seen him drink three times in 12 years and never more than a single bottle of beer. He says it makes him too sleepy - it certainly makes him red, so I guess like anywhere, there are drinkers and non-drinkers. He also is no layabout and although he walks with a sick now due to a blood clot, he is hard to stop doing things. He lives in BKK and when we or friends arrive in Bkk, he always wants to drive us home to CM - and sometimes goes back home again after just an hour or so rest! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 roger Roger. ooooh........... never mind. Probably best left unsaid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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