Mother Doesn't Move For 1 Month After Giving Birth?

[skybluestu]

Hello,

My wife recently told me that women in Thailand (or at least in the North anyway) always stay inside for one month after giving birth and do nothing at all. According to her they should stay lying down pretty much constantly and stay warm so that any placenta that may still be inside can 'dry up' and not make them sick. This is the first I've heard of anything like this and just wondered if anyone else had experienced it? Obviously a new mother needs to rest but my friends who had kids back in the UK were always up and about walking etc a few days after giving birth and their Dr said they should do some light exercise. Is this just a traditional belief or is it advised by Docs here in Thailand? Could it have any negative health effects?

Thanks in advance

[momosan]

My wife was like this for almost 2 full months actually . Her Mother told her, so she of course believed it. For me it's just simply total and utter BS but what could I do but go along with it. To me there's just no science involved. If you look in the animal world and other species after the birth the mother just goes on with it's life as usual. In fact I'd be inclined to believe evolution has had to make sure the mother is capable of resuming life as usual soon after the birth to make sure the chance of survival for both mother and child is as high as possible.

Also current medical science has statistically shown that being physically active during recovery improves the time required to heal for the physical and/or physiological injury or trauma suffered.

All mumbo jumbo IMHO.

Edited November 13, 2009 by momosan

[PeaceBlondie]

Old wives' tales. Rubbish. I read that Asian mothers working in the fields used to deliver on the ground and keep working. Doctors in USA discharge new mothers on day of birth sometimes.

[sinbin]

'PeaceBlondie' is correct. My missus says "the women are stupid in believing their mothers". It was something that was practiced maybe 50 years ago before the availability to have access to doctors.

Edited November 13, 2009 by sinbin

[PeaceBlondie]

Of course, the mother should take it easy. But not bedridden. Nurse, recover, let Grandma help, etc. C-sections require time to heal.

[MikeyIdea]

If wife gives birth at hospital, suggest that she should stay there for 2 months and not be allowed to go home, grand mother (yai) pays the bill of course

Utter BS but nothing to do (for you and me) - Your mother may very well be pe^e your wife's mother though

My mother and father came to visit when my daughter was 6-7 weeks old and I had announced long before that we were going to go to Koh Chang with the baby when they came. Grand mother (yai) tried to talk us out of it but that was of course a useless exercise, my mother was older than she was and didn't buy the BS. Yai played her last weapon, she will not come with us, and I answered my wife, that's fine... Guess what, it the end grand mother did go

Edited November 13, 2009 by MikeyIdea

[MikeyIdea]

Could it have any negative health effects? Yes, possibly a little bit but not much. It is common sense that the best time to build up the baby’s own immune system is while the one she got from mummy before it got cut off is still protecting her well. But if you talk to your wife, then don’t use the words common sense, she’ll probably get angry and it won’t change anything anyway.

Don’t put your wife in a position where she has to confront her mother over small things like that

[Wash]

Around our part of the country the custom is a bit different. Here baby is born in hospital and after a couple or maybe three days the mother and baby go home.

After mother gets home she is kept in a single usually relatively small space and kept warm by a fire that is kept going for 24 hours a day and for 7 days. She lays in a makeshift bed and only nurses baby and nothing else. At the end of the week she is ready for life as normal.

Don't understand enough Thai to know all the logic behind the custom and for sure a fire kept room in the summer is no fun. I suspect these customs to be Lao but do not know for sure.

I have watched the process with several babies and they all do it the same way, and have not heard of anyone staying imobile for a month.

Same custom is used for accidents. Had a brother in law that was in a bus accident and they put him on a raised bamboo bed and kept a fire going under the bed for a week. He survived both the bus accident and the treatment but did have some sore muscles from the accident.

[bkkjames]

Sounds to me to make the gullible farang husband run around and do everything for a month.

[PeaceBlondie]

Sounds to me to make the gullible farang husband run around and do everything for a month.

Nooo. Tell Thai Grandma it's her job.

[bkkmei]

It's a common Chinese practice, and I guess other parts of Asia.

In fact I did it, on the urging of my mum. I mean I stayed at home (but was still active - I didn't lie around in bed). It drove me a little insane by week 3!

The way it was explained to me is: It's to give the mother time to recover because a woman's body has been through so much. And not taking this break could lead to long term complications later on. And it's time to nurture the little one, for the little one to grow strong a safe environment for a month before facing the outside world.

Don't know if it's true or not but as my mum had come over specifically to help, I wasn't going to argue.

Once the month is up, there is a big celebration for the baby.

[PoorSucker]

She forgot to tell you that Mother-inlaw is going to stay in your house for six months.

[Khruumaiyai]

In north-west Thailand in rural communities, mothers will often stay indoors for a month - around a hot fire, as someone has mentioned elsewhere. The rooms get really smoky, so it surely can't be good for the lungs for mum & baby. It is very much still part of the traditional culture, and will be happening right now across hundreds of villages. Having said that, younger people who've been in the cities come back with different ideas - and that can spark conflicts with the older generation. There seems to be a real fear of getting cold and thus ill, I guess coming from historical hardships and lack of antibiotics etc.

What really freaked my wife out was that the women often don't wash for that whole month after giving birth either - again avoiding the cold. However, our experience was that people accepted Westerners do things differently, although we got some very funny looks taking a 1 week old baby out and about - with his mum!

I don't think there is any medical grounds at all for this confinement, but the new mum does get a nice rest from the usual household jobs and gets to focus on recovering and looking after the baby; it's also a lovely expression of the community rallying around a new family and helping out with all that (not just the dad!)

[PattayaParent]

It's a common Chinese practice, and I guess other parts of Asia.

Viet Nam too.

[MikeyIdea]

It’s common in all Chinese influenced Asia. What grand mother does, she does out of love. It may be useless and somewhat bad, especially for the child, but it’s out of love so we should accept it...

"And it's time to nurture the little one, for the little one to grow strong a safe environment for a month before facing the outside world"

It doesn’t matter too much that grand mother waste a month when it’s up in the village and the mother doesn’t have to go to work in 10 weeks time, but to keep the tradition and waste time also when the mother has to go to work soon does really matter

I have no doubt that Thai grandmothers (and thereby Thai mothers) will continue to do somewhat bad things to their infants for at least another generation

[sinbin]

It's common in all Chinese influenced Asia. What grand mother does, she does out of love.

They will do, as long as you allow it. My wife does what I tell her not the mother. I know that sounds sexist but when in Thailand.............. A man in Thailand is the boss, and your wife should accept that when it concerns your children. No matter where in the world one lives, grandma's think they know best, when if fact they don't. It's called progress. Even in Thai hospitals they get the mother on her feet as soon as possible and send her home. "What grandmother does, she does out of love", that's rubbish, she does it out of lack of education and ignorance.

[MikeyIdea]

There are many Thai husbands (and wives) who know that it is total rubbish too, they still allow their wive's grand mother to do what she think is correct

I wonder why...

Edited November 16, 2009 by MikeyIdea

[Ananke]

Yes, I got the same advice from my mom too. Sounds absolutely bloody brilliant to me, and I'd love to add a couple of weeks for each subsequent child! Unfortunately, living away from family in the west, I couldn't swing this one ....

Forget the crazy placenta story, but let's look at it this way:

My civicized western experience was to stumble around that first month in dazed exhaustion, shocked to the core that a human being can actually survive on practically no sleep, no clean laudry, no sensible adult conversation, no decent food (my husband wasn't such a great cook back then ... he learned), and still be expected to ooze milk, love, affection, and devotion to this frightfully fragile noisy, messy, baffling little person. My head was a swirling cloud of chaos and confusion, pretty much like my hair actually.

My Thai sister in law was waited on hand and foot during that period by both grandmas, extended family, house keeper. All she really had to do for weeks was feed and enjoy her baby. In the middle of the night, someone would actually pick up the crying baby and bring it to her! Oh, and she obviously could get her hair done too, judging by the family photos. God, I envied her!

Now tell me gentlemen, given the availability of at least a willing grandmother on hand, which version does the love of your life deserve?

Edited January 31, 2010 by Ananke