Perfect Thai Girlfriend ?

[mbkudu]

Just wondering if any of you guy here have dated a sweet, intelligent, beautiful , independent Thai girlfriend  who is not a gold digger ?

No, too boring. I like the risky ones.

[devildog683]

jayenram- she carry your wallet like mine does? 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

No. That's going a bit too far!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I at times feel for my wife, as to me I could care less what people think, I know what I have.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

my wife is finally catching on to this concept, before she used to worry so much about what everyone thinks, but i told her they dont know us, so screw 'em

[Erwin1011]

Mixed relationships (Racial or Cultural or even cross national) are always looked upon with suspicion everywhere in the world. The higher the number of these relationships become, therefore increasing the visibility, the sharper the reactions become.

It shows similar patterns as reactions to immigration and concentration of foreigners in certain areas. It is somehow perceived as a threath to the group identity if the concentration becomes to high. I remember a study done in my home country on this phenomenon and somehow it hovers around 20%. ( If a concentration of immigrants closes in to the 20% level, more violent reactions tend to occur.

Individuals who break through these barriers succesfully, generally tend to be higher educated, have been cross cultural exposed from a very early age or were forced by economical circumstances.

take your pick what applies to Thailand.

[ray23]

Mixed relationships (Racial or Cultural or even cross national) are always looked upon with suspicion everywhere in the world. The higher the number of these relationships become, therefore increasing the visibility, the sharper the reactions become.

It shows similar patterns as reactions to immigration and concentration of foreigners in certain areas.  It is somehow perceived as a threath to the group identity if the concentration becomes to high. I remember a study done in my home country on this phenomenon and somehow it hovers around 20%. ( If a concentration of immigrants closes in to the 20% level, more violent reactions tend to occur.

Individuals who break through these barriers succesfully, generally tend to be higher educated, have been cross cultural exposed from a very early age or were forced by economical circumstances.

take your pick what applies to Thailand. 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I knew there was a reason Udon was changing and it was time to move to a smaller farrang population.

[devildog683]

Mixed relationships (Racial or Cultural or even cross national) are always looked upon with suspicion everywhere in the world.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

this is true and its something one must be prepared for when they enter into a relationship

[siamesekitty]

So why there are people complaining about Bargirls and everything when you guys can find such perfect THai girls ???

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I have been wondering the same thing myself after spending some time on this forum, wildcat. How come the world that these guys paint is so different from the one that I know?

Then I realized that it probably is! If you were an expat working at a multinational company here in Thailand, you would be able to meet several lovely, intelligent women, but what if you were here as a tourist, or to retire (or even if you were an expat who for some reason couldn't get a date with a "normal" girl)? Chances are the touristy areas, with their pubs, go-go bars, and massage parlors ( with "beautiful, willing ladies" - though a western guy's idea of beautiful might differ somewhat from a Thai's), would be the most accessible. And there you have the perfect breeding grounds for doomed relationships. Guy goes in, with money and is looking for some fun/sex/companionship, while girl can provide such fun/sex/companionship and is looking for money. And as rav23 said, relationships are based on a common direction and common needs of the two individuals involved.

The problem is when the guy expects something for a longer term. He now wants sincerity and faithfulness, which often the girl cannot/is not willing to give, as she's already married or has a boyfriend, or wants to keep playing the game, or simply doesn't like the guy enough to have a long term relationship. However, her need for money (the reason she's doing this in the first place) is still there. You can see where this leads.

However, some may argue that even "normal" Thai girls are like this! Oh, why oh why do they have to ask me for money?? Well, as in relationships around the world, there's always the possibility that one party might need to ask the other for money. Yes, it might be more so here than in the guy's home country, due to the economic and social conditions, with the farang guy being perceived (and usually correctly so) to have more money than the girl. But you run that risk in any relationship where there is an imbalance of financial status. Yes, it's possible that a "normal" Thai girl might ask the farang guy for money. But NOT ALWAYS. And the guys who argue against that, well, I guess they're just unfortunate enough to get only the "bad" ones (though you might wonder why is it that they can never find the "good" ones, eh? )

I guess it boils down to what these guys have been exposed to. How and where a relationship begins sets the theme, and I guess these guys just don't have access to the "normal" environments. We do have some who lurk around universities though..

By the way, no offense to those who have married some nice ex-bar ladies. You guys were lucky/good enough for your girl to decide that YOU (not any other farang, not any Thai bf) were the one they wanted to settle down with. Bar girls are women who have hearts too, and they're not all schemers and liars.

Edited April 13, 2005 by siamesekitty

[ProfessorFart]

If you were an expat working at a multinational company here in Thailand, you would be able to meet several lovely, intelligent women

You don't have to work at a multi national to meet lovely, intelligent women. I've met them as a tourist, student and a worker .

To echo devildog and some of the others, its merely a case of where you look!

[devildog683]

If you were an expat working at a multinational company here in Thailand, you would be able to meet several lovely, intelligent women

You don't have to work at a multi national to meet lovely, intelligent women. I've met them as a tourist, student and a worker .

To echo devildog and some of the others, its merely a case of where you look!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

someones listening and agrees with me!!

[gburns57au]

jayenram- she carry your wallet like mine does? 

No. That's going a bit too far!

I at times feel for my wife, as to me I could care less what people think, I know what I have.

my wife is finally catching on to this concept, before she used to worry so much about what everyone thinks, but i told her they dont know us, so screw 'em

Dangerous thing to say to a girl who may by error.....take you literally....

[devildog683]

jayenram- she carry your wallet like mine does? 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

No. That's going a bit too far!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I at times feel for my wife, as to me I could care less what people think, I know what I have.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

my wife is finally catching on to this concept, before she used to worry so much about what everyone thinks, but i told her they dont know us, so screw 'em

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Dangerous thing to say to a girl who may by error.....take you literally....

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

i know she wont

[gburns57au]

""Just wondering if any of you guy here have dated a sweet, intelligent, beautiful , independent Thai girlfriend who is not a gold digger ?""

Why is it that when anyone makes a statement like this, everyone immediately thinks BG.....

There are many gold diggers in Thailand who have never worked in a bar. Just the same as there is gold diggers in every country.

Remember that in a recent global survey....the one question in the first five that a girl will ask a man after meeting him is...."What do you do for a living" And I dont think she is interested in whether he enjoys it or not !!!

[devildog683]

"what did i tell you bobby, girls are the debbil!"

[WanderingDude]

When I go out with my B/f .. I am also viewed as A bar girl and it is pretty annoying though.... But I could not care less..... Since I happen to have tan skin ??

Dah.. ?!

But the worst thing is ... not only Thai people think I am a whore walking with a Farang guy but also other Farang guys themselves treated me like one ..... while I was with my B/f ...... So, it is not very funny .....

Yes, people tend to assume that most Thai girls with farangs are hookers. Sadly, this assumption proves true most of the time. Probably about 90% of the time I'd say. Not happy with it, but that's just the way it is here.

[devildog683]

Yes, people tend to assume that most Thai girls with farangs are hookers.  Sadly, this assumption proves true most of the time.  Probably about 90% of the time I'd say.  Not happy with it, but that's just the way it is here.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

where is here?

[ray23]

When I go out with my B/f .. I am also viewed as A bar girl and it is pretty annoying though.... But I could not care less..... Since I happen to have tan skin ??

Dah.. ?! 

  But the worst thing is ... not only Thai people think I am a whore walking with a Farang guy but also other Farang guys themselves treated me like one ..... while I was with my B/f ...... So, it is not very funny .....

Yes, people tend to assume that most Thai girls with farangs are hookers.  Sadly, this assumption proves true most of the time.  Probably about 90% of the time I'd say.  Not happy with it, but that's just the way it is here.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yes it is two sided coin, most of the farrangs I know in Udon are not married to bar girls many of the ladies hold middle management position in government. It's much easier to think bad then good.

[lampard10]

Just wondering if any of you guy here have dated a sweet, intelligent, beautiful , independent Thai girlfriend  who is not a gold digger ?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I married one.......................................that was seven years ago though. AShe's still the same, only not as sweet.

[ray23]

Just wondering if any of you guy here have dated a sweet, intelligent, beautiful , independent Thai girlfriend  who is not a gold digger ?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I married one.......................................that was seven years ago though. AShe's still the same, only not as sweet.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I'ts a law of nature wives are never as sweet as girlfriends, but then we are not the same after awhile either.

[pautai]

does such a thing exist ? a beautifull girl will probably be complacent and lazy and expect to live off her good looks ,and hence will expect to be taken care of .

so yes a gold digger in one way or another.

[devildog683]

does such a thing exist ? a beautifull girl will probably be complacent and lazy and expect to live off her good looks ,and hence will expect to be taken care of .

so yes a gold digger in one way or another.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[withnail]

I think in these discussions the term bar girl in itself is rather problematic because to be honest what does the bar have to do with anything.

Thai - Farang relationships fail for a number of reasons, cultural differences, differences in financial status, language barriers, age gaps, different levels of education, the list is endless.

Of course what is also important is the reasons why both sides enter into the relationship in the first place and unfortunately a large number of poor girls (and guys) in Thailand (and indeed everywhere else in the world) do so for financial gain.

If you meet one of these girls/guys and you are able to support them then the relationship may still be successful if everything else works out fine. If however money is the only motivator then it undoubtably won't. This is true regardless of whether they worked in a bar or not.

My ex girlfriend was a bar girl and I used to get pissed off when people would tell me about their good gf who they had to keep mentioning didn't work in a bar even though it was sometimes obvious never the less that she was a bad apple and clearly in it for the wrong reasons.

I bet a lot of people that boast about their 'successful' relationships with Thai partners would be in a very different position if their financial status were to suddenly change.

I am still looking for a Thai girlfriend because at the end of the day they're lovely people and make good girlfriends/wives. I am however aware of the fact that as its probably 100 times easier to find a girlfriend here than back home the chances of everyone I meet being a perfect match are quite low. That doesn't mean that they're not out there though.

[devildog683]

I bet a lot of people that boast about their 'successful' relationships with Thai partners would be in a very different position if their financial status were to suddenly change.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

i see your point and it is true...for some relationships, i know with mine, we never had alot of money to begin with (possibly about to change in the future when i re-enlist and bring her here, still up in the air)

[withnail]

Sure it's only valid for some relationships and I wasn't talking about anyone here in particular. I'll give everyone the benefit of the doubt but I am cynical and I am constantly being proved right.

Don't get me wrong I'm not one of those people that takes pleasure in seeing relationships here fail if you've read my posts in BIG SPUDS thread then you'll know that.

One thing that is for sure though and that is that no matter how broke a Farang guy thinks he is he still isn't in the eyes of a poor Isaan farm girl. Ask yourself these questions:

Q Can I if needs be marry a girl here and take her back to my home country?

Q Do I have access to finance?

Q Does my family have money?

Q Does my family own property the value of which is more than a poor Thai family will earn in their lifetimes?

etc. etc.

Most of us here aren't really that hard up really when you think about it.

Again I don't want to tar all Thai people with the same brush. I'm just trying to point out that to understand Thailand you have to understand poverty. The sweeping generalisation that anyone who has been inside a bar is a bad person is just missing the point.

[devildog683]

The sweeping generalisation that anyone who has been inside a bar is a bad person is just missing the point.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

i agree with this, and people need to use the same logic when talking about Thai/Farang realtionships and the way they "always fail"

[ray23]

The sweeping generalisation that anyone who has been inside a bar is a bad person is just missing the point.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

i agree with this, and people need to use the same logic when talking about Thai/Farang realtionships and the way they "always fail"

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I agree with the logic that hs been presented, but one thing I don't agree with is that these relationships always fail. I know guys who married Thai girls here when they were in the service during Vietnam and they are still married. some of which have survived over thirty years.

I have been married three times in the states all of them failed none of them were Thia bar girls, or Thai for that matter. Failed relationships happen everywhere, for whatever reasons. I agree when you cross cultures and languages things are more difficult, no doubt about it. It's hard for realtionship to survive even when they are from the same culutures. People evolve over the years they are not the same individual they were twenty years ago. The people relationships that have survived seemed to grow in the same direction. They are very willing to accept the bad with the good. There seems to be a lot of forgiving and forgetting in these realtionships.

Here in Thailand, I don't expect to have an intellectual conversations with my wife, nor do I expect to understand how she does things, nor do I expect her to understand why I do things the way I do. We have a mid ground that we understand each other in, thats it and will never be different. Does she and I forgive and forget within limits yes. The majority of the time we have shared hobbies and goals.

Was her reason for being with me money orientated you bet it was, but I had my agenda as well. In two years we have become friends, we didn't start out that way. By the way my nick name was, until I met her in Udon was three day Ray. To be honest most of then didn't make it that far. I would evoke the fifteen minute rule, in a heart beat. But there was something in her and I that caused it to become much more, I have no idea what it was. Will it be forever, I have no idea. I didn't marry the other one's is the states with a preset time limit for them to leave, they were meant to be forever.

I think it would be unrealistic to assume that any relationship any where is guarenteed to be a success for a lifetime. Not just here in Thailand.

[sonthaya]

Yes, I had the most perfect Thai "girl Friend" call her BG if you want, She's my Avatar in this forum, all I can say say is that she gave me the most beautiful holiday, or perhaps the best month of my life, and it was friendship right to the airport, she never asked for money or anything.

I was 65 and she was 30, but what a month, she took me to the airport, didn't ask for money, but I paid her well for staying with an old fart like me, it still gave me the best month of my life.

[The Gentleman Scamp]

Like I said nearly a year ago...

1: Her English is good enough to understand and laugh at most BBC comedy programs but she doesn't have an irritating U.K. or (worse) U.S. accent and she's proud to be Thai and her personality hasn't been westernised.

She's her own person but still a loyal companion who shows vulnerability at times but also has a witty, dominant side and sometimes takes the piss out of me when I deserve it. She's had a complicated life but not a bad one and we can relate to each other and have a lot in common. She's intelligent and experienced in the school of life and is between 22 and 32.

2: She get's along with my friends, Thai and farang, male and female, and I get along with hers.

3: She's really really good looking and has a fantastic pair of tits.

4: She's no boring, goody goody virgin but she's no slag and has had boyfriends before but she didn't fancy them as much as me. She has a high sex drive but is very faithful. She's not into kinky stuff but is adventurous and likes a quicky in the morning before breakfast.

5: She cleans my room but won't tolerate too much laziness on my part, she's no maid and won't be treated like one. She doesn't mind cooking and enjoys giving me massages. She's a trained masseuse and hairdresser so I get free hair cuts too.

6: She's not rich as such, but she's doing well for herself and doesn't want or need a boyfriend for financial reasons. She likes to be treated once in a while but doesn't like to be pampered like a baby, she's very financially independant.

7: Bonus if she drives a car but hardly a requirment - nothing to fancy, Honda Civic or something, but she doesn't have any iritating fukcing soppy soft toys on the back seat or hanging from the mirror and she certainly doesn't have a little 'sock' for her mobile phone.

8: She doesn't spend much time on her mobile when we're together but she has a ringtone nobody else has, maybe a classic British pop song; 'House Of Fun' by Madness for example.

9: She's been to other countries but she's never flown before, and one day when we were really well established and loved up I could enjoy her first flying experience and hold her hand and joke with her that the sound of the undercarriage going up is actually the wing rivets coming lose and watch her shit herself.

She would like to visit England but doesn't wish to live there.

10: Her ideal man is about thirty years old, reasonably handsome with a good heart, a great conversationist. She's always wanted somebody who can be both very funny and serious and who is multi talented, witty and clever. He has tattoos but you wouldn't think it to look at him. They are only on his upper arms and they are very original and he is slim but not skinny and likes to dress smartly occasionaly. He likes talking on expat discussion forums and doesn't eat enough.

He doesn't have a huge knob but it's certainly alright and he knows what to do with it.

11: Forgot about this - this is actually quite a high requirement that should be listed way above number 11 but she is NOT camera shy and doesn't go all stupid and shy and girlie when a camera is stuck in her face. She's happy with herself physically but not arrogant.

12: She likes cats and would also let me have a pet snake if I wanted.

Does anybody know her?

[withnail]

I think the answer to that question is going to be no but if someone does resposnd can I add...

13: She has an identical twin sister who owns a brewery

[impossible_me]

learning in her and see her behavior if she is nice and straight Get marry her Dont want slowly but noone is perfect person na ja then thinking much

[siamesekitty]

1: Her English is good enough to understand and laugh at most BBC comedy programs but she doesn't have an irritating U.K. or (worse) U.S. accent and she's proud to be Thai and her personality hasn't been westernised.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I guess that disqualifies me then...

Edited April 22, 2005 by siamesekitty

[udon]

Kitty, think yerself lucky you don't have an Aussie accent

Edited April 22, 2005 by udon