The Death Of A Friend From Phon Kk Province

[denishuahin]

I’m saying goodbye to a friend today, from ampur Phon, Khon Kaen who was shot dead by one of his ex-wife of 1 month family last night just 6 weeks before going to court to settle the divorce dispute over 1 house, 1 farm, 1 hotel, two cars and a motor bike all in his “wifes” name, ( don’t say it we all know) He was quite confident that he would get a least half or maybe a little more of the 20mil baht he paid out to make him and her family have a better life. He was in turmoil over the last few months and was living off the takings from the hotel about 500baht a days less expenses. He could not even buy a mobile phone to replace the one his “wife stole from him. I bought him a mobile about 6 weeks ago so he could have moral support from me and my son Hugh mainly.

Yesterday his “wife” and 8 members of the family turned up at the hotel with axes and the normal Thai weaponry and stole “his” car he had hidden his last 6000 baht under the seat and put his prized belongings in the car as he thought it would not be safe in the hotel. So he called me and asked what should he do I told him to call his lawyer from Udon , I advised him to go to the police Station and explain that he wanted his belongings from the car and could they go with him, yep you guessed it no help at all. So he told me he was going to the farm and get them, I advised him that if he was on “her “ land they could kill and get away with it saying he was being violent or they thought he robber breaking into the premises. (they used the last excuse)

After many phone calls from me and my son trying to convince him that the best thing to do was wait for the court date. He said he was tired of being walked over all the time he just needed the money and would go and get it. My last call was about 18:00 last night but he would not listen I told him again it was a trap and they would be waiting for him. Well at about 3am they shot him dead as he climbed over the wall, I think he was a little drunk and obvious not thinking 100% straight, which cost him his life and future which me him and Hugh were planning in Hua Hin. Nothing will be done as the police told me today he was a bad man. So bad he gave everything he had to his wife and her family to help them have a better life.

Another lesson in not falling in love with a Pattaya Bar Girl. His daughter who he named the hotel in Phon after, I fear she will never the truth about this man, her father.

[Scott]

This topic has been opened, but identifying information has been deleted and it will be watched carefully. Please do not post the name of the victim or other information that would immediately identify him. This can only be done after confirmation by an authorized authority and after the next of kin have been notified.

At this time that hasn't been done.

[johnsurin]

A sad story. R.I.P.

John.

[Credo]

My condolences to his family. He was lucky to have friends like the OP and my thoughts are with you as well.

[Mario2008]

Very sad story. My condolences to his family and loved ones. May he rest in peace.

[blue eyes]

I am sad to hear another one of these stories.There are bad people throughout the world.This could happen,and does throught the world.I truly beileve that what goes around comes around.The victums attackers will get theirs sometime when they least expect it.Just another sad, sad day for humanity.

Rest in peace knowing that you tried in your heart to better the lives of some other people.

[xerostar]

Sad and shocked to read about that poor guy. RIP.

Makes you think more about your own situation and the possibilities.

There are so many of us who have put ourselves in a similar potentially dangerous position by handing all

the land, power etc to the wife and family. Yes we have heard all the advice and chose to ignore it.

It only takes one member of the family to form a grudge against you and things can take a turn for the worse.

If they can influence the rest of the family then you can be on very shaky ground.

It only takes one wrong move to be put in the bad books.

They may be looking for excuses too and can set traps if they are cunning enough.

One word said in anger while under the influence (or not) is all it takes, or an indiscretion outside the marriage can

lead to an avalanche of misunderstandings, mixed with avarice and jealousy.

It's a fine line we tread, hoping our family will all remain friendly and continue to appreciate what we have done for them.

Even those who have acted like angels can fall victim to this sort of tragedy as we know.

Although I must say, the same thing happens daily in the west, except without the fatal results in most cases. Been there done that ..

On the other hand life is a gamble and we are often guilty of playing with high stakes in the pursuit of love and happiness.

[Boo]

I live in Phon & haven't heard about this yet, I will ask my husband to check around to see if anyone else has. A very sad story though. RIP

[Xangsamhua]

A very sad story indeed. May your friend be remembered for the good he has done. And may evil not triumph.

[tom21]

a very sad story.

[Scott]

If there are any updates, they would be appreciated. Have the police arrested anyone?

[Boo]

My husband asked around & no one has heard anything. Are you sure it was Phon proper & not one of the villages around Phon?

We also don't know of a hotel in Phon with the name given by the op in another thread he started so if op wants to pm me with more info I can check the thai language news sites to see if it has been reported in any of those.

[denishuahin]

I live in Phon & haven't heard about this yet, I will ask my husband to check around to see if anyone else has. A very sad story though. RIP

It the hotel in the bus station, his ex wife and brother spent one night in Wang Noi Jail and yesterday they took the locks off the door and open the hotel. Steve had build most of the hotel him self and ran it alone for the last few years.

[denishuahin]

My husband asked around & no one has heard anything. Are you sure it was Phon proper & not one of the villages around Phon?

We also don't know of a hotel in Phon with the name given by the op in another thread he started so if op wants to pm me with more info I can check the thai language news sites to see if it has been reported in any of those.

He was killed in Wang Noi where his farm was the hotel in in the bus Station Phon

[Boo]

OK, we know Weaang Noi. Will as hubby to check around on the news

[Boo]

Still no news around Phon but we are visiting relatives in Waeng Noi today so hubby will ask around.

[longstebe]

May your friend rest in peace.

The lenghts people go to. Shocking.

[lioness]

A very sad ending to anyones life.

[Boo]

I got a bit more info yesterday from one of hubbys friends who knew of this guy & also had info about what happened the night he died.

It seems they had actually been separated for a bit longer than a month, more like a year & they had also visited the local court to start the process of asset separation. The car & house were the wifes & therefore she was legally allowed to take them, not sure about the hotel, will try to get more info on that soon.

It seems on the night that he died he had gotten quite drunk, took a motorbike taxi to the house & tried to break down the door (witnessed by the motorbike taxi guy). It was reported that he being was very agressive & threatened violence to his wife & family. He was warned to go away but decided to try to scale the back wall & was shot by the wifes brother.

As it stands now it seems the police view it as a simple case of self defense.

There is a bit more to this story as I have been told but am not comfortable posting about it on the thread so if anyone wants the rest of the info as it has been relayed to me then please pm me.

note: the guy who told this to my husband is a very nice guy, not a gossip & only relayed this after my husband asked if anyone had heard about it, he is well respected locally, has no connection to this family beyond being in an official role & therefore coming into contact with the victim & his wife/family over the years.

[cpofc]

tragic, bloody tragic.

Poor bugger.

Money does bad things to people.

[denishuahin]

I got a bit more info yesterday from one of hubbys friends who knew of this guy & also had info about what happened the night he died.

It seems they had actually been separated for a bit longer than a month, more like a year & they had also visited the local court to start the process of asset separation. The car & house were the wifes & therefore she was legally allowed to take them, not sure about the hotel, will try to get more info on that soon.

It seems on the night that he died he had gotten quite drunk, took a motorbike taxi to the house & tried to break down the door (witnessed by the motorbike taxi guy). It was reported that he being was very agressive & threatened violence to his wife & family. He was warned to go away but decided to try to scale the back wall & was shot by the wifes brother.

As it stands now it seems the police view it as a simple case of self defense.

There is a bit more to this story as I have been told but am not comfortable posting about it on the thread so if anyone wants the rest of the info as it has been relayed to me then please pm me.

note: the guy who told this to my husband is a very nice guy, not a gossip & only relayed this after my husband asked if anyone had heard about it, he is well respected locally, has no connection to this family beyond being in an official role & therefore coming into contact with the victim & his wife/family over the years.

The police in Weang Nio said they had many reports of violence By Stave upon his wife my son and solicitor have ask to see them and could he have a copy of the report on that night he was told they could not find either reports! We are sure they have not been writen yet. This is the second time his wife has ripped a farang off and know she on her 3rd an Irish man. My son spoke to a high up policeman in Phon about Steve and he said they have never had any proplem with him only when his wife came to the hotel or house she was the trouble maker 99% of the time witnessed first hand by my son on more then one time. The last time she throught bricks at him and then attacked him with an iron bar i saw the results then next day to him and the car. That was about 3 weeks ago. There is a wall around the house the motobike Taxi waited the other side he told my sons girlfriend ( In Thai ) he saw nothing but heard two shots and left. Maybe he has gained a BAHT memory 3 or 4 days after funny how that happens don't you think.

Facts Steve paid for Hotel , House, Farm and cars, she then started over 4 years transfered all into her mainden name starting 3 weeks after they married without Steve knowing.

Steve bought 100 pigs for the farm so to give the family a living, he went to the U.K for 2 months when he came back the pigs had gone! He asked where were they the brothers said they had all died, and they buried them so Steve ask to see where, they could not remerber. OH yes good people.

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W**** his wife use to leave Steve for upto 3 months at a time, and come back with now gold she done this 3 times in the last 18 months, I met her once at the hotel she said she wanted to get back with Steve she 100% BG and all she want was the property and i told Steve that but he loved her and believed everything she told him until she said 2 months ago she had found an American man who was fantasic in bed on hearing this he decided to start divorce. I spoke to him everyday for the last 3 weeks of his life he was a man in torment.

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Hugh my son was in Phon 2 days after they shot Steve they had opened the Hotel Hugh being Hugh went in and had some words with them, she told him if he stayed in Phon they would shoot him as well. Oh they paid the police off and spent one night in Jail.

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This is a email from my and Steve's solicitors cos we can’t find any relatives to carry on the case.

Dear Denis

Now the ownership about all assets are become of W***** only. She cans sale or transrer right everything. Everything end by the death of Steve. Because the court stills not order to share in marriage property named.

If you can find the way to contact Steve's reatives to join the case before 8 Feb 2010, the case will be case about his estate. I hope that we will meet with his relatives before W**** will sale everything. I have hoped to you Denis. We will go to the court on 8 Feb 2010. If have no any Steve's relatives, the case can not be carried on.

My husband will arrive to Thailand on 22 Dec 2009. Last thing, Can you tell your son make a tape record or video what they said or what are they doing for protect himself? please.

Thank you for your help and tell me ererything all the time.

R*****

Don't contact me in private i will say it in the open, if allowed!

[Boo]

If you are aware of the domestic violence then there is not much else left for me to add except that the violence towards his wife was witnessed (by more than one person known to us personally) & others & reported.

I hope you get some luck with the the request for reports.

[Boo]

and just to clarify again, we don't know this couple & have been living overseas for 6 years so have no connection or interest beyond getting news for the op. The information I have replayed is how it was given to us.

[thunder30101]

A sad ending def. but lets be real here dennis what do you want the police to do ?? There is only one side of the story to be told now, heresay and friends stories do not hold weight in any court in the world, by allowing alcohol to cloud his judgement he lost his life, but honestly with the history you have told about this person it seems to me he should have figured these people out a long time ago before he spent every baht he had on them ( if you know these things about her then he must have). The same outcome would happen in any country not just thailand.

[Scott]

Again, I would like to express my sympathies to you on the loss of your friend. For many foreigners it's a difficult place to be when you have problems. Very limited social support system and this can lead to clouded judgment.

[torrenova]

Hardly clouded judgement (or perhaps clouded by the sense of financial gain) for someone to shoot him. There has been no evidence of him going armed or carrying a weapon of any description. Was the gun legal ? At the time ?

There seems little in the way of substance to back up any other argument other than an opportunity taken to rid themselves of a problem and increase their lot. More like an execution than self defence. Life is cheap to these people and a western life cheaper still.

[citizen33]

Hardly clouded judgement (or perhaps clouded by the sense of financial gain) for someone to shoot him. There has been no evidence of him going armed or carrying a weapon of any description. Was the gun legal ? At the time ?

There seems little in the way of substance to back up any other argument other than an opportunity taken to rid themselves of a problem and increase their lot. More like an execution than self defence. Life is cheap to these people and a western life cheaper still.

I don't know anything about the specifics of this case, but the thing that shocks me is the suggestion that a man who does not himself have a firearm (though he may be contemplating domestic violence) can be shot in 'self defence' when he tries to enter a relative's property. I believe that some US States do allow lethal violence against intruders, but this would be considered wholly illegitimate in most other countries. Does anybody know the details of the law in Thailand relating to intruders and self defence?

[Boo]

I asked my husband the exact question when I heard of this case & he said that you are allowed to defend your home from nighttime intruders using whatever weapon is at your disposal. Now how that ties into this case I don't know.

[bina]

thats what i understand from anon also; we have a big problem with armed nighttime robbery of agriculutral stuff and cars and there were two different cases that made the news about the man firing (and killing) the perps.

anon was all for it, and has always wanted a handgun at home just in case. well it wont happen and son's army supplied weapon is locked up when at home. but he (my husband) strongly feels that it is his right as a home owner, to protect and defend agianst any and all intruders that invade his property. all the thai friends say the same. not sure if that is really thai law or thai's interpretation of flexible law.

bina

israel

[cognos]

This is a tragedy, and I feel sad for Steve, very sad.. I am NOT against BG's. Many are very, very good people, but you get these types..what %, perhaps 5 to 10 %?? It makes you shake your head and wonder why so many farang men "prefer" bg's for their mate. Stories like this ( mostly not this tragic) happen again and again. If many of these short time farang tourists are hooking up with bg's and ONLY thinking with their little head, well thats a tragedy of and by itself. I am not talking about poor Steve, I am ONLY GENERALIZING..so those of you with good ladies that worked in bars ( probably 80 % or more of them are not on the take, they just want a good life like everyone, and who can blame them??.. not me), please don't take offence.

The modus operandi seems to be..the farang cames to LOS, falls hard and heavy for the BG, and returns to their home country "heart broken" with longing for "their girl". The few bad BG's that specialize in scams are only too aware of this, and there seems to be an almost endless supply of " sucker" farangs to get sucked in. The small minority of bad bg's are experts at their "trade", using several cel phones, etc. to pull their ruse, never having 2 guys visiting them at the same time, for example.

The problem SEEMS to be that, although the % of BG's is small compared to the total # of available Thai woman that would like a farang, farang IN GENERAL seem to vastly prefer, or at least end up with the bg's. If only .0002% of Thai ladies are bg's, it makes you wonder why (let say for arguments sake) perhaps 30 % of farang end up with bar girls. THAT is another TRAGEDY, as Thai VISA is constantly bombarded with stories of these relationships gone bad, and the "poor guys" who have been " victimized".

It seems clear that if there were not so many farang sex pats/ sex tourists frequenting LOS, then these young women would not be "driven" towards the bar girl life. Its like a vicious circle..of supply and demand. Sure, most guys that pay for sex there are decent guys, but they inadvertently make the problem worse.

The solution may be as simple as this..most guys visiting Thailand are quite CAPABLE of just meeting regular Thai women ( which the bar girls are before they get jaded in the industry), and they will get sex before long anyway. Yes, in many cases they will have to wait longer, but the relationships would probably be more genuine, and have a WAY better chance of not ending in tragedies like this one.

We always hear the stories emminating from the western media, where guys who cannot get a girl in their own country( for many reasons) come to place like LOS to " score". Unfortunately, many decent guys do the same thing as previously mentioned, when in reality they do not have to, as there are so many regular Thai women that they could get to know (and avoid the scams and even premature death like poor Steve).

If a guy wants a bg for a wife, it is probably better to be an expat, and get to know her well before committing, as opposed to the 2 or 3 week vacations, where guys go home completely smitten with a bg, with rose colored glasses on, not realizing that he is just one of many that sends the monthly cheque by Western Union to his "love of his life".