Looking for thai lady

[American Male - Looking]

I am a 57 year old american male looking for a Thai lady to write to for possible future relationship.  I am tired of the dating sites who charge an arm and a leg.  Can anyone recommend on how I can get in touch with them.

[SoCal]

Dr. P, the absence of Captain Bud is distressing to say the least.

Can you think of a time that we have needed him more than right now?

[markt]

Get yourself off to Thailand for a start.

[Kathe2]

Yeah, get a start ...fly to thailand and find it out. There are lots of ladies ...waiting for you to choose...hehehehe..

But use your instinct as well,

Good luck !

Kathe

[SoCal]

Instinct? Is that the thing between guys legs? Cause that's what most newbies think with.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

SoCal you are so so right. Captain Bud could have acted as a matchmaker, and even supplied some stock from his excess ladies. American male...it is good advice...get a visa and come spend a month or two here, and success will be yours. Keep visiting Thaivisa.com, and Bangkokchat.org. You'll be surprised. Good luck      :cool:

[phazey]

Yes, come and looksee for yourself. With the recent case of a guy DHL'ing himself around the US, you can achieve nothing from your Armchair..

./P

[dr_Pat_Pong]

American Male is not American Bud.  Buddy would have triple posted replies on 69 threads in 20 hours already. Had some plastic surgery, a hair transplant, and circumnavigated ( or is it circumsized ) the world thrice. A good man ole Buddy

[Bud Zumwalt]

Well, guess who is back and just in time for this gentleman.

OK, free email site, line em all up first, then select the Miss Right after hotel interviews.  My first day in Thailand I found OH, very interesting but a little over weight. Next day Arlee my soul mate showed up, my dream come true, the lady who started the email proposal site, she could not speak a word of English, but within two minutes after knocking on my hotel door the sparks were flying, she was more than just a simple tailor as she said in her ad, she was super woman, I have certainly had my share but this lady was the 10 plus of all woman under the sheets she performed wonders I have never experienced before.  But after getting to know her for three days, including a visit to her tailor business, I discovered she was most certainly a rat with gold tooth. An entertainer who did this meeting thing for a living, although I hated too I asked her to leave. She refused, cried, I even cried, but I had found her out. She was planning to meet another guy flying in within two weeks, after the second day I was given the choice to marry her or she would meet the next guy. Guess what I am still single! She is now meeting the next guy. Good my third choice, back up email love turned up the next day. Not as good under the sheets, but a university grad who spoke some understandable English, then after a few more days in that dump Woodlin Inn, we took the bus to Korat, her single sister picked us up and 60 more klicks to some hick town province. Two weeks of entertaining the sisters. Blue pills costing me 1,600 baht for just four! We visited the Korat Zoo, the local mud hole they called the beach, rode the banner boat, eat out all the time and had a few for the road. Drove the Nissan pick up, with all the relatives in the back. Rode the Honda Scooter with big wheels all around the farming community. All in all it was great then back to the Watana Mansion in Bangkok for the ladyboy shows, Ratchada Cabaret Show, my photos with the ladies boys as I exited, they sat on my lap during the show and invited my on stage for part of their act. Wow, I got to say I had the greatest time of my life, APEC was a bore and they shut down Patpong, So Cowboy and Nana Plaza for two days of seeing Bush ride around in the electric Tuk Tuk. Rides up and down the river, 20 baht for me and the lady, great way to entertain em for the afternoon cheap. Right now I am sleeping and Savitri is writing as I talk in my sleep.

OH for the new guy who needs a web site for free email ladies...

http://www.thaikontaktanzeigen.de/thaifrau_galerie.asp

Let me say OH on the site is fat, Nong is nicely shaped but has a rather small something that gets sore easily and then she must let it heal for four days as she takes you shopping everyday, so skip her.

Good luck, and as Dr. PP would say, Bud is back ..

Bud

[dr_Pat_Pong]

You sure are back Buddy...keep us posted with tales of the love life of Bud.      :cool:

[tomy]

where in he|| did they find those girl, my god! you have to soooo freaking desperated

[dr_Pat_Pong]

BUD American Male Looking needs to be taken in hand so to speak...see what you can do for him      

[phazey]

Fear.

./P

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Teen Mentor Phazey...has Bud taken a decade and a half off his age again ?        

[Cha Minnow]

I'd say come to Thailand and you'll find a companion pretty quickly. I had a girlfriend within 3 days of moving here. There are more beautiful women here than I've seen anywhere else in my 21 years.

P.S. Searching on the internet for a mate is a very BAD thing. Beware the katooey and eat lots of street food: that's my only advice!

[dr_Pat_Pong]

3 days....was it your reluctance to buy 'em a drink. Wait until you achieve ' old hand ' status before you advise ' old hands '

[Cha Minnow]

Well, when you are young it is incredibly easy to find a girlfriend (in ANY country) as long as you have a good personality and vibe.

To tell you the truth I think there's a lot people can learn from "new hands." Let's stop being so ageist, there's nothing wrong with taking some advice from a fresh mind that gets daily nookie, wouldn't you say? Must be doing SOMETHING right.

Aside from me "not being old enough to give advice," would you disagree with anything I said in my post?

"Searching on the internet for a mate is a very BAD thing." I'm pretty sure that is self-explanatory and most would agree with me that anyone searching the net for a mate is lacking in the social-skills department.

"Beware the katooey..."

Not sure your preferences, Dr, but I'd say that is a pretty fair statement. There's lots of guys coming into Thailand that find a beautiful, tall, busty, slim, gorgeous.. man! If this is not your preference, wouldn't it be nice if someone warned you about this?

"..eat lots of street food."

I admit that this had nothing to do with the original subject but I'm trying to retract the stigma that street food is dirty and disguisting. I guess it's a matter of opinion.

What do you mean "your reluctance to buy 'em a drink." ? My girlfriend works at Robinson's and actually doesn't drink alcohol. Fancy that; a farang not paying!

If you live in Thailand and you can't find a mate then you are either too shy or lacking in the social skills department. Just be yourself, talk to a woman if she makes eye contact, and don't be afraid of being rejected. Is that bad advice for ANY age?

[dr_Pat_Pong]

AND try not to teach your  ( more experiencd ) elders how to suck eggs.

[Cha Minnow]

I am sorry if I seem to exude an aura of "I know better than you," or cockiness. I have no intention of doing so; moreover, I am just sharing my own personal experiences and hoping that others do not step into the same traps that I have.

A friend of mine said to me once "Respect is not expected, but earned." Although I find the first part of that quote to be irrational, I do think that if one gives respect to me I show the same amount of respect to them.

Dr. Pat-Pong, I love to read your posts and most everytime you do post I learn something new about Thailand. I appreciate you taking the time to moderate this board and share your own personal experiences with those of us that have not been here as long.

Thanks for your time,

Lime Tea

[tomy]

can we all geet aloooong!

[SeaVisionBurma]

Come on Doc!  Lighten up!

It's always so refreshing to get a newbie on the board to share their wealth of worldly experiences with the rest of us tired old clapped-out forum farts.

The 'minnow' in Cha Minnow is referring to the size of ego, of course.

  *SVB chuckles as he awaits more of this delightful board-banter*

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Orright orright SVB loosening  loosening      Not as loose as you when you are out on the balcony with strong drink within hand reach      

[jjrbus]

Internet dating is bad? I have not even got to Thailand yet and I have been chatting with four ladies. NOw take into consideration I'm young (55) good looking (a face only a mother could love on payday) and rich (by Thai phesant standards). What is so bad?

This is the 21st century, use what is available, mass marketing and such,

How long would it take you wandering from bar to bar to find 4 women that speak fluent english? Silly me, thinking you might actually want to talk to them.

[ray23]

You know of course that you may well be chatting with the person, they pay or takes a percentage of what they can get out of you. That is very common here and english writers can make a pretty good living from that one.

Remember this is Thailand and your the first farrang here, Thia women are not stupid trust me there are lessons to be learned. Assume nothing to be what it seems, never forget the first three letters of that word, it is easy to be put in that position here. The way to hook up is to come here and pay your tuition like the rest of us.

[TizMe]

How long would it take you wandering from bar to bar to find 4 women that speak fluent english?

All four of these internet women are probably just customers of my GF getting her to interpret for them.

So please, keep the emails coming, I want to retire soon.  

[jjrbus]

Good point, I would not have thought of that, and I really am a professional cynic. I am under the impression you guys are really jaded, not a criticisim just an observation. The one I am IM with could not possible be useing an interperter.

I have been to Japan, Taiwan and the Phillipines, can the people in Thailand be that different?

I'm on my way to Thailand, I have a  one way ticket for the 30th of Nov. and will stay till I want to leave. Might be 1 week might be never.

I've gained  much knowledge from this forum, and would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone here.

[ray23]

Not jaded just been to school. Trust me you will find lots of girls interested in you, that can speak enough english to get by. Even in Udon I have met several girls who spoke simple english and they were not all bar girls. English schools thrive in this country, most younger Thais want to speak to english and some of the people will speak with you just to practise it.

If they want to be with and they will if they can't speak english they will find a friend to talk to you for them. With one goal in mind trying to figure our a way to be with you.

If you want to stay out of the bar scene, it is the easiest way to get your feet wet, but not always the best. Just go to a mall put a smile on your face say hello, they will work it out from there.

You might find it very refreshing skipping all the games and getting down to straight up what you want, I did a bit hard to get used to being that direct. But when the communication is on such a simple level, there isn't much room for bullshit lines you just have to say what you want, they will either have the same thing in mind or they won't. It doesn't matter there are so many.

A bar girl wil hit you up for gold, don't buy it they are working girls and give them a fair amount of money for thier services. Reserve the gold for girls that you really want to stay with for a good amount of time.A non bar girl will hit you up for a cell phone, again don't put out that kind of money until you sure you want her around, because you will be buying a lot of cell phones. That will usually be followed by a request for a motorcycle, which they are the family may use, In most cases these are just the beginning, the family will be looking for a house. You have to be aware if this or be ready to put out thhe money.

You said you had been to the Philippines then you understand the family influence, it is no different here. The one thing that is different is these girls have been raised with one thought in mind they must support the family, that is thier role in life. Doesn't make them bad people that is this society. It can be controlled, one don't stay wiht the family under any circumstances, you only mean money to them no matter how the girl feels about you and yes some of them do fall in love with you. But, if yor are close to the family they could care less about you, you are a ATM machine to them and once you start it is a never ending proposition. Just say no and if the girl will stay with you. If she doesn't you probably were with the wrong one on the first place.

It really depends on what you are coming here for, if you wnat to party by all means Bangkok or Pattaya, you will find more action then you know what to do with. The majority of these ladies will make you feel like a King, As I said this girls are not stupid, they can make you putty in thier hands in a heart beat. This ladies are the best at what they do in the world why do you think guys keep coming back here fo years, it not the climate. They are people to respect for the craftsmen they are, relax and enjoy it you can have a wonderful time. These girls ae not like hookers you see in the states they are not trying to ge a fix, they are trying to feed and better thier families life. They don't live the high life unless they are with a customer. They usually live in a room wiht no aircon a mattress on the floor in a place you wouldn't even sit up an office in, because it is cheap and the money has to be sent home. They normally will share one room between three or four girls. It is a very ard life and they seserve respct where it is due. The older and longer they have been working the tougher they are. For all that they do for thier families, society here looks down upon them. There is a not an easy life. They have been conned to no end by guys promising them world and then not delivering. Don't promise them anything accept payment, they will just think you are playing them and will play you harder. Be honest with them you don't need to bullshit them and break thier hearts they don't deserve it anymore then you do.

There are two popular but inaccurate beliefs these girsl have on that becaue you are from America you are rich, you are by thier standards. They don't see waht you have to do to make the money, they only see you going through like it is water. They have o idea that you worked your butt off to ge here and save the money you are spending, along with paying the cost of living there while you did it. There idea of you earning money is putting a plastic card into an ATM, that is how you make your money. They see you have 100's of thousands of bhat in those accounts, in most cases mor money the they will ever earn in a lifetime. In Udon a college educated person my make up 7000 baht a month. The better jobs like Robinsons will pay up to a thousand a week, roughly $20.00 bucks and you need a college education to get it a lot of the time. If these girls come from a rural area, they may have a sixth grade education and the choices are the bars where they can make as much as 30,000 a month, but they earn it, believe it or not most of the girls don't make that kind of money, they don't go out everynight, competetion is fierce. Or to work seven days a week 12 to 16 hrs a day in a food stand for 900 a week. So don't get angry becuase they want your money. Only the top end of financial society have what you have, like it or not you are wealthy here. The wealthy in Beverly Hills have the same problem, you face here. You have enough money and are willing to accept the women it attracts you can have 19 and 20 year olds there as well, but the cost of rieght is going to be much higher more them most of us can afford

The second greatest mythe is men our ages are more stable and therefore unlike Thai men we won't be messing around on them. Not true but believed by many of these girls, they get real bitter when they find out that this not truly the case. This game playing is a two edged sword and when it comes into play no one truly wins.

I have been here a year now, the first seven months I was knick named three day Ray, no girl could last longer the that with me. I had a lot to get out my system, I was in the bars chasing and being chased practically every night. It was great fun and I got some great course administerd by Water Bufflao University and tuition was high, it was worth every penny because when a truly good one came along I could recognize what I had and put some effort into it, I said effort not money.

I like to refer to Thailand as Burger King you can have it your way, with some patience and effort on your part. I took a few Thai lessons, couldn't hold a conversation in a million years, but I can say hello, find out if they are married or have boyfriend,ask them if they would like to have some dinner and of course the more basic stuff.

It didn't take me long to find a fwe things out one I wasn't in the bar scene only went to hook up with women, many nights were spent drinking water coke or coffee. I wsan't meeting the kind of women I wanted to meet, nothing wrong woth them, but I have this thing about having a realtionship with a chick who has boom boomed all my farrang friends. So I toldyou about the malls very succesful in that area and as soon as Thai find out you don't have a lady they will try to cure that for you. But none of these ladies cared if I went off to the bars and they know that you are not going for the beer. They didn't care because the motivator was money and that wasn't going to change with time. Someone who really cares about you doesn't want you in the sack with another woman. Women are women no matter where you go, if they love you they want an exclusive and the other consistent thing  is they can be spend a whole day shopping never buy a thing and consider it to be fun, hense the malls.

I was getting my butt kicked for about seven months, my friends were taking bets as to if I would survive or tuck my tail between my legs and head back to the states, I had enough time there to know there was nothing there for me, that was why I was in Thailand. I got lots of sympathy form them it was usually hey we told you about that, it's your own damned fault don;t say a word about the girl you did not her and they were right. A phrase I learne ot live my life by was if it is to be it's up to me.

I had figured out that these big city girls were eating me for lunch on a daily basis, so I know I had to do something different. I had made Thai friends one of which could speak great english and was a real hustler, so I hired for a thousand Baht a day and expenses and we hit the villages, with one purpose in mind find me a little lady that fit my needs. #### I had families offering me fifteen year old daughters for the dowery, by the way leagal here with the families permission, but not my cup of tea.

I found a 29 year old not married and never had been, no kids. Not a virgin thank god there are limits to what I'm willing to teach anymore. She was working on a farm in the rice paddies for food and a place to sleep. When she came to me she had two sets of clothes to change into and nothing else. She was no GoGo goddes, but she was pretty add a litttle makeup and some decent clothes and she was beuatiful. Hadn't worked the bars so she wasn't hardened and didn't know the games yet.

she had, had a #### of a life the reason she had nothing, both of her parents had died within the past two years. while she was sitting in the hospital at her fathers death bed her Thai boyfriend stole everything she had down to the last Baht  A country girl so the sixth grade education. So her choices the bars, not likely passed the prime for that, remember cometetion is rough, maybe a Thai brothel turn five or six tricks a day or take the hard way and work on the farm, she choose the farm, told me a little something about her.

So the offer was 1500 a week a good place to live and to be taken care of. To eat good food, instead a diet of bamboo and rice. Did she come for the money you #### right she did, but she has developed into being my best friend here.

It was explained to her with no punches pulled exactly what was expected of her, from the bedroom up. She has never failed to keep her end of the agreement. An amazing thing happened at first we could hardly communicate but e got by, with a lot of patience on her part and mine, she speaks more english now and I speak more Thai, just sort of happened, no great plan. Now if think it is OK with this girls that hang out in the bars and have a few cuties on the side, you would be saddly mistaken. Over a period of time we have really began to care about each other, if I'm not feeling well she hovers and worries over me. She doesn't want me out screwing around anymore then I would want her to. At first it was about protecting her rice bowl, now it's much deeper.

I live on a very strict weekly budget, well strict for me and I'm still building up things for the house, which is including in the budget and at times things can get pretty tight in a week, in doing that. This girl offers to loan me money from the money she has saved since being with me, she worries that I don't have enough money. I have never taken it, but she is the only one that has ever done that.

The guys here may sound a bit jaded, but some of it is just kidding around. Remeber something do you think they would still be here is they were not happy most of us could back to the rat race anytime we wanted, w are here because this is where we want to be. At least one a month I get offers to go back to my old job in L.A. it payed over a 100K a year, plus my Police retirement, between the two well in access of 10 K month. I don't have to live here. My budget is $1800 a month here and I never spend it all, I save $500 to $700 a month every month and do everything I want to do. I'm 56 live with a 29 year old girl who things I'm the best thing that ever happened in her life. I'm happy I was never happy making the big bucks in L.A. I didn't have a life I had a job.

If your dream leads you here, don't let anythign stop you from it. Don't pay attention to our attitudes just trying to point out some pit falls and you were headed for a big one. But I didn't listen to the old timers when I got here and payed for my education, I survived. Remember it's Burger King, you can have it your way. Even if you make a few mistakes, if you use your head they won't be to costly.

One last thought I did communicate with some girls on the net before I got here just uncomfortable not knowing anyone, cost me 25,000 Baht for a very miserable experience. The worst part about it was it was hard to get rid of her and I had hundreds of little foxes eyeing me and putting on that hey come and get me smile. My friend told me I didn't listen, so it is not required that you do either

[Mighty Mouse]

Ray,

That was a very interesting read. Thanks for sharing it.

It just goes to show that butterflying your way around the bar scene can be fun for a while but you will soon realise that you are getting no deep, emotional satisfaction for the money you spend.

When you put in the effort to meet that special person, and are prepared to make a commitment to that person, life can be more fulfilling.

[jjrbus]

Hi Ray; Thank you for your very long and imformative post, much of it obviousely came from experience and the heart.Hope I run into you sometime.

                                                            Jim

[ray23]

Your very welcome, it is the life I wanted, not for everyone, but good for me. I still enjoy the looks and dynamite smiles, but tht is where it stop. God this place great for your ego. (LAUGHTER)