How To Stop Without The Aa

[gilbertr]

I've known for a while that I drink far too much and need to stop. I do bad things when I drink and if I don't stop I'm afraid I will go off the rails sooner or later.

To stop is not that difficult, but maintaining control at all times while the pressure is on is very hard. "Come and join us, have just one". How do I resist? None of my friends and family seem that interested in supporting me, or even understanding the problem.

I am a total atheist, gay and not at all into the religious stuff and "higher powers" that seem to be a part of the AA philosophy. Does anyone have any secular alternatives in Bangkok? Somewhere to socialize in the evenings without the alcohol and where you can be comfortable being gay?

Edited December 30, 2009 by gilbertr

[airplane]

Most of the many gays I know in AA aren't particularly theistic. AA works fine independently of one's belief or non-belief in some sort of a "God" or "god". Why don't you at least try one of the gay AA meetings in Bangkok? It won't kill you.

Edited December 30, 2009 by airplane

[gilbertr]

Thanks. I will follow your advice and give it a try. It turns out they even have a weekly gay group meeting not far from where live.

[StreetCowboy]

Thanks. I will follow your advice and give it a try. It turns out they even have a weekly gay group meeting not far from where live.

I was working overseas on a short assignment, and at the time I was quite reliant on the routine of attending AA meetings to keep me out of the pub. But I was too busy working to go to meetings on the assignment - but never to busy to go to the pub! So that wasn't very successful...

... and when I got home to Bangkok, and got round to checking where the AA meetings were held, they were in the same street as my hotel, and five minutes' walk from the office. So the next few times I went back, on follow-up work, I was able to maintain my sobriety through-out.

Even if you decide that AA is not for you, I think you will benefit from going to a few meetings as it gives you diverse perspectives which you won't get from your drinking friends.

All the very best for a happy and prosperous 2010

SC

[Mobi]

Countless thousands of alcoholics who are either atheist or agnostic attend AA meetings. Many, but not all of these, over time, become more spiritual, even though they may never totally embrace the concept of a "higher power'.

I have heard so many former atheists share in meetings how they would never have gone to AA, had they not been obliged to by court order, or because they were so desperate they didn't Know what else to do. All of these were totally against the spiritual side of AA when they first walked through the door.

For sure I was was one, having being a rabid atheist since my earliest years.

Then there are those who have been members of AA for years, and still reject any concept of a "higher Power". If you are an alcoholic, or believe you have a problem to stop drinking, then you will always be welcome at ALL AA meetings, be you atheist, agnostic, or of any religious persuasion from Muslim to Mormon, and of any sexual orientation.

If you can't accept the spiritual side of AA, you can still work the programme to the best of your ability, and along with the support you will get from AA members, the programme will help you to remain sober and build a better and happier life.

I don't know where you are based, but there are gay meetings in Bangkok, but as said above, you are welcome to attend any AA meeting, and there are plenty of those in Bangkok, Pattaya, and Chiang Mai, and most cities throughout the world.

(Interestingly, here in Pattaya we have had groups of visiting Iranians come and attend our meetings, and they tell us that they usually attend meetings back home in Iran, even though drinking alcohol is illegal there. I understand there is a similar situation in many other Muslim countries where alcohol is supposedly banned.)

[StreetCowboy]

8><---SNIP----><8

...Interestingly, here in Pattaya we have had groups of visiting Iranians come and attend our meetings, and they tell us that they usually attend meetings back home in Iran, even though drinking alcohol is illegal there. I understand there is a similar situation in many other Muslim countries where alcohol is supposedly banned.)

Pendantry alert!

? Supposedly banned?

Do you mean 'banned according to statute but not enforced', or do you mean 'believed by many to be banned, although in actual fact not banned by statute'?

From the Persian night club singer I met, who enjoyed a glass of beer, Christians in Tehran were allowed to drink in their own homes, but not to carry alcohol outside their own home. I'm not quite sure how they get drink into their homes...

Although I'm not sure how long ago she was last there. Sadly, I never managed to get back in touch with her, so I can't follow up to give you any further information

SC

[gilbertr]

Thanks for your advice guys. I will try out the gay AA group next week Thursday.

Having been a total non believer ever since Santa Claus was exposed to me as a fraud when I was a kid, I don't think I will change my outlook, but I look forward to the opportunity to meet like minded spirits, so to speak. :-)

All the best for 2010!

[Pattayatony]

Thanks for your advice guys. I will try out the gay AA group next week Thursday.

Having been a total non believer ever since Santa Claus was exposed to me as a fraud when I was a kid, I don't think I will change my outlook, but I look forward to the opportunity to meet like minded spirits, so to speak. :-)

All the best for 2010!

Please let us know how you get on.... I hope you can find Sobriety in AA or out of AA.

Cheers Tony

[ding]

AA is definitely NOT religious. Loads of sober atheists and agnostics in it. It seems more like Buddhism to me, but that's my opinion. Atheists tolerate the term 'god' pretty well. They understand that it's shorthand for 'higher power'.

If someone talks about savior"X"... then that's them, not AA.

Some of the most centered and, by all appearances, "spiritual" AA's I know are atheist/agnostic.

Don't worry about zealots trying to convert you to something. They're out of line if they do. That's not the way it works.

That said, we're sick people trying to get well. It may be easier to tolerate wingnuts like myself if you keep that in mind.

Edited January 20, 2010 by ding

[wade72]

(Interestingly, here in Pattaya we have had groups of visiting Iranians come and attend our meetings, and they tell us that they usually attend meetings back home in Iran, even though drinking alcohol is illegal there. I understand there is a similar situation in many other Muslim countries where alcohol is supposedly banned.)

At the rehab centre I represent here in Thailand, we get allot of people from muslim countries where alcohol is "Banned" by statute or otherwise. So it doesn't surprise me much at all.

On another note there will be a non-12-step group starting in Pattaya in the next couple of months, out of my new office there. Originally it will be run by an extremely experienced counselor and therapist, with the long term goal of the members running it themselves.

If anyone is interested, let me know. I would like to see it start in May if the conference room in the office is finished.

[Sheryl]

I have heard many people in 12 step programs who did not believe in any sort of higher spiritual power say that what worked well for them was simply regarding the AA group members as their "higher power". Others just use "nature", since pretty much everyone can agree that there are natural laws more powerful than ourselves (gravity...growing old..etc)

What matters about a higher power is not how you conceptualize it or what form you imagine it to have. What is important is what it is not: it is not your personal, ego-based self-will. Since after all, if simple exercise of self will worked for you, you wouldn't need a program to begin with.

[ThaiPauly]

Countless thousands of alcoholics who are either atheist or agnostic attend AA meetings. Many, but not all of these, over time, become more spiritual, even though they may never totally embrace the concept of a "higher power'.

Thats my take on it too......but even if someone stands up and says he is a kiddie fiddler they have to accept him.

I'm not happy about that ...I am one of these "every person deserves a second chance" type of guy.

Sure in most cases they do.....but at that level...I am strongly against it

Edited April 7, 2010 by ThaiPauly

[StreetCowboy]

Countless thousands of alcoholics who are either atheist or agnostic attend AA meetings. Many, but not all of these, over time, become more spiritual, even though they may never totally embrace the concept of a "higher power'.

Thats my take on it too......but even if someone stands up and says he is a kiddie fiddler they have to accept him.

I'm not happy about that ...I am one of these "every person deserves a second chance" type of guy.

Sure in most cases they do.....but at that level...I am strongly against it

Wherever we go, we have to accept catholics, and left-handers, and obnoxious arrogant gets, to the extent that we are willing, in order to maintain our own membership of that society. If you're not happy working with pederasts or miscegynists or whoever then you can always vote with your feet and pack your job in, or stop drinking in that pub, or leave those Rooms anf go to Rooms elsewhere. There's no "have to" or "must" about it. Feel free to reject or hold a prejudice against anyone that you choose.

SC