gharknes Posted January 3, 2010 Share Posted January 3, 2010 Dont pay 1 baht , i know many who have just walked away from a bar. have a good talk with your lady and come to some agreement. You have to think about this carefully as it may affect her future for a little while. Good luck to you and her. I agree 100% with this, if you are sure you like her and want her to come stay with you then tell her to simply leave, to hel_l with the "friend" ahem that owns the bar, she can work leave stand on her head, she can do just about as she wishes, the bar pays her to work there not the other way round. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bosse137 Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 With the usual exceptions to the rule,this is the simple truth.Most of us,at least those of us who live here,are not exactly spring-chickens any more.We could certainly have found some woman in our own agegroup back home,someone who could love us and who would be worthy of beeing loved.I mean,honestly!!That would have been the "right" and "moral" thing to do,right,gentlemen..But that was not what we wanted,not what we was looking for;we wanted something younger,something to spice up our lives.The women here,for their part,could easily found a Thai man in their agegroup back in their hometown/village,but then they would,in most cases,have to be content with a life in poverty and often,rather hard labour.And that is not what they want.(who can blame them..) So they go to the hotspots to look for- love?? Are you kidding me;they look for someone,who can give them what they want;love or no love.And we oldtimers,we are happy to give them what they want and at the same time,we get what we were looking for!Sometimes we get burned in the process and we complain of the girls not really loving us for real,how they "use us" and so on.Well,that´s the risk we have to take,when playing with fire.And finally,some of us,on both sides,get lucky,and find a "real" partner.I´m on my 17th year with my woman,the best I ever had.It took some "trial and error",though,before that happened.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craigt3365 Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 I mostly agree with you, Bosse...but don't agree with the "right and moral" part. Whose morals? The church? The feminatzi's back home? Plenty of older women have younger men. Sure, most are rich and famous....but so are we over here! Have you been to Bali? Seen all the older Japanese women with young Bali boys? I saw a fair amount of that in Africa, and even now seeing it here in Thailand. I say "good on them!" It took some time for me to get my "Western" head about this, but I am way over that now. Like you, after some trial and error, we are doing great and just completed our 6th year. Life is good. She is really happy also. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueSmurf Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 Do all the checks first and the NO. 1 is is she Thai and does she have a I.D. Should be ok for her to walk away from the bar if she wants to but she may have given her family money upfront so she may have to pay that off first..But hey if you can't afford the 6000 baht then how will you fund her in the future? She works in the bar for the money! Do all the checks , How many in her family, does she have kids , do her sisters with kids have a husband, how sick is the buffalo? etc..Good luck dave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whatchamacallit Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 Oh by the way I bet not only she is as you said "farm fresh" - she is practically "a Virgin" - As PT Barnum once said "There is a sucker born every minute". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharecropper Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 Oh by the way I bet not only she is as you said "farm fresh" - she is practically "a Virgin" - As PT Barnum once said "There is a sucker born every minute". In which case she's liable to remain a virgin for a very long time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soundman Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 IMO this is not likely to be slavery and/or people trafficking. Most employees that find a job in bars don't just hop on a bus, and find their way to Pattaya with no idea about where they will stay and/or work. Most find work through agents and aquaintances. The majority are not forced, co-erced or intimidated. They actually want to work in a beer bar for whatever reason. Agents have costs & want to make profit for their work. You have a bar and need some staff, you ring an agent, he finds the staff for you and charges you a fee (ka hua - head price). If the employee you have paid a fee for, wants to leave the bar after only working a short time, the bar owner has every right to ask her to pay the finder fee back. If she doesn't pay the fee back, she will ostracise herself from that bar, and many others who will fear the original bar owner may ask them for the money. ............................ Moderator note: I find the OP somewhat derogatory, however, since the topic of slavery and/or trafficking is an interesting one, I will not lock the topic. OP - please choose your words more carefully in the future. And re-iterating above notice - please try not to discuss the specifics of prostitution. There are many other sites for that on the net. Thai Visa is not one of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoiGirlHunter Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 i did it twice and didnt pay a dime, i was very firm and said you want me you can do for me, another good check to see if she is jai dee as you thinkfirst one was with me for four months, it was the best 4 months of my life! it was like a dream, she was perfection! she fell totally in love with me then i did something really stupid, i kick myself for losing this girl.... second one lasted 3 weeks, it was ok but we just didnt mesh both got jobs right back right away, no problem i tried the normal girl route too but they are so busy with work and school we didnt have much quality time together Er, school? University, she was 21 one of the bars i still go to sometime and everytime i get "oh you come back steal another one eh?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoiGirlHunter Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 >>>>>>We could certainly have found some woman in our own agegroup back home good one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ulysses G. Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 We could certainly have found some woman in our own age group back home Who would want to? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharecropper Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 We could certainly have found some woman in our own age group back home Who would want to? I suppose that would depend on how old you are! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bosse137 Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 Craight3365: I think you can now fully agree with me,when I tell you,that "right and moral" was meant as irony;that is,meaning the opposite.....There is of course no such things,when two people want to be together,for whatever reason,that is their decisions and nobody´s business... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JMS Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 Craight3365: I think you can now fully agree with me,when I tell you,that "right and moral" was meant as irony;that is,meaning the opposite.....There is of course no such things,when two people want to be together,for whatever reason,that is their decisions and nobody´s business... You say you have been together for 17 years but do you still have to pay her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiangmaikelly Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 Sometimes the bar will loan her the money for her bus fare and pay her expenses to get to the bar. In that case she has to pay the bar back. Normally the buy out is split between the Momma San and the lady. The owner may not get a cut. The owner may not even know about it but that is rare. If a Thai guy wanted to buy her out of the bar he wouldn’t pay a fee, although that would be rare. The fee for a Go go is normally 10,000 baht and has stayed the same for years as far as I know. The girl does not have to pay the fee she may just walk away and if she changes jobs that is what she will do, just walk away. Maybe she will be welcome back maybe not depending on her value to the business. It is not slavery it is just another way to get money out of you. Pay it or don’t pay it. Up to you but realize the girl could walk. She is just getting a little bit more cash and get used to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonathanpattaya Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 Dont pay 1 baht , i know many who have just walked away from a bar. have a good talk with your lady and come to some agreement. You have to think about this carefully as it may affect her future for a little while. Good luck to you and her. I agree 100% with this, if you are sure you like her and want her to come stay with you then tell her to simply leave, to hel_l with the "friend" ahem that owns the bar, she can work leave stand on her head, she can do just about as she wishes, the bar pays her to work there not the other way round. I would like to second this. Do not pay. Furthermore, I am married to a former bar girl and am very happy. I do understand a certain degree of cynicism but it is possible to find your soul mate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jb4446 Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 Not interested in the "love " thing ,its all about market forces.You got something I want,willing to pay? try again . then perhaps Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craigt3365 Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 Craight3365: I think you can now fully agree with me,when I tell you,that "right and moral" was meant as irony;that is,meaning the opposite.....There is of course no such things,when two people want to be together,for whatever reason,that is their decisions and nobody´s business... Right on. Understood. Like I said, it took me some time to get use to this, but things are pretty darn good now. I would never go back. Again, don't pay a baht. She can leave whenever she wants. Your only concern is how to support her now that she is not working. And she was probably supporting others as well. That was the case with my wife. She was working and I did not want her to work...I was retired and wanted to travel! But, she was supporting her family. So, I agreed to a certain amount per month. It was a small amount. No big deal. And in the end, it is way less than what I lost to my first wife. Way less!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craigt3365 Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 Dont pay 1 baht , i know many who have just walked away from a bar. have a good talk with your lady and come to some agreement. You have to think about this carefully as it may affect her future for a little while. Good luck to you and her. I agree 100% with this, if you are sure you like her and want her to come stay with you then tell her to simply leave, to hel_l with the "friend" ahem that owns the bar, she can work leave stand on her head, she can do just about as she wishes, the bar pays her to work there not the other way round. I would like to second this. Do not pay. Furthermore, I am married to a former bar girl and am very happy. I do understand a certain degree of cynicism but it is possible to find your soul mate. Hey, none of us were virgins when we got married. Fantastic you found your mate. Congrats!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharecropper Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 Hey, none of us were virgins when we got married. Ahem, yeah. Course not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ulysses G. Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 (edited) Hey, none of us were virgins when we got married. I'm pretty sure that a lot of the dude's who come to Thailand to find a wife were. Edited January 4, 2010 by Ulysses G. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rafval Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 (edited) speaking of slaves, would the two 16 year old girls squatting on the edge of the garden on beach rd opposite soi 12 during the day that are pimped by the older lady that sits between them be considered slaves? I find it odd that the police let her ply her trade in such a public place Edited January 4, 2010 by rafval Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bosse137 Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 JMS: I don´t want to go into specifics since it is personal.But I can tell you this much;if not for her,my money would have been gone long ago!!Instead we have house,car and 50 rai of rubbertrees,all due to her;she´s a workaholic!! And I try to keep in step with her as good as I can.But she does not demand it, I go where I want,when I want and no problems whatsoever.To the cynics:No,she is NOT in the entertainment business,she works our land...By the way,no sick buffalos or cousins or any other familyrelated problems.That´s why I said,that she is the best woman I ever met!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
473geo Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 Hey, none of us were virgins when we got married. I'm pretty sure that a lot of the dude's who come to Thailand to find a wife were. Yep all the under 30's....walk bow legged off the plane...... Have look next time.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokay Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 If she has her ID (not just a copy of it), she is not a slave. If a slave, they keep their ID. Slaves generally sleep at the location as well. Usually upstairs, or some downstairs on the sofas. If she has her ID and has her own room outside the club, she is probably not a slave. However, buying her from the bar is a rip-off. If she likes you, she will just quit the bar. If she won't quit, walk on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokay Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 speaking of slaves, would the two 16 year old girls squatting on the edge of the garden on beach rd opposite soi 12 during the day that are pimped by the older lady that sits between them be considered slaves? I find it odd that the police let her ply her trade in such a public place Because the police are probably getting a "piece" of the action. I meant that both figuratively and literally. It's no secret Thai men like younger girls. Often it's MUCH younger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
powderpuff Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 (edited) Again, don't pay a baht. She can leave whenever she wants. Your only concern is how to support her now that she is not working. And she was probably supporting others as well. That was the case with my wife. She was working and I did not want her to work...I was retired and wanted to travel! But, she was supporting her family. So, I agreed to a certain amount per month. It was a small amount. No big deal. This gentleman is dead right. a) Don't pay b.) It will be a good test to see if she is a grifter c) If she likes you she will quit & go with you. BUT & this is very important - get it agreed ahead of time what she expects from you. A salary if you like. You want her time exclusively. That time is worth something. Both of you are taking a risk. It might not work out. If so both of you are back to square one. I have been very very lucky like a few posters above - but it's a lottery draw. I would want one that keeps a spotless house & tries to show you how to save money. Good Luck. by & large if you treat them right they make amazing wives. Edited January 4, 2010 by powderpuff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GucciLittlePiggy Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 If she has her ID (not just a copy of it), she is not a slave. If a slave, they keep their ID. Slaves generally sleep at the location as well. Usually upstairs, or some downstairs on the sofas. If she has her ID and has her own room outside the club, she is probably not a slave. However, buying her from the bar is a rip-off. If she likes you, she will just quit the bar. If she won't quit, walk on. Excuse my ignorance, but are you talking about bar girls? I was always under the impression they were there out of their own free will. Are you saying some girly bars/go gos keep the girls as slaves? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ulysses G. Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 I think that he is talking about brothels for Thai men. Many of the girls are indentured servants whose parents owe a lot of money. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daewoo Posted January 5, 2010 Share Posted January 5, 2010 I think that he is talking about brothels for Thai men. Many of the girls are indentured servants whose parents owe a lot of money. This is what I though and hoped a topic that ran to 3 pages might be about... a sensible discussion on the inhumaine trafficing of girls, usually sold by their parents at a very young age, into the sex industry for the mainly Thai and other Asian clientel... Instead it is a thread about some selfish tightwad who wants to buy a girl but doesn't like the price, but instead of saying "I'm a tightwad and don't like the price" is trying to justify his 'outrage' by calling it slavery... pathetic... Daewoo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
basjke Posted January 5, 2010 Share Posted January 5, 2010 Is it only me who notice that Rocky topic count is about the same number as his post count.Why waste your time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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