How To Approach Wife About Problem?

[TheJoker12]

my wife pregnancy was a rough one and she did not want to be touched at all as bina pointed out.

[TheJoker12]

"..in forging social relationships with these hoes and will just use them as masturbatory objects of flesh..."

Wow!! they are human beings too!! Some of them were forced or sold into the industry due to horrific economic family conditions!!

Walk a mile in her shoes!! You have a big head as well.

I feel sorry for YOUR wife

its a service for money. what, do you want me to ask them their names and story and emphasis all in one hour? wouldn't that be emotional cheating?

[bankruatsteve]

Go out for a BJ then pretend (or maybe you won't have to) you don't care about sex. In time, she'll start wondering what's up with you and initiate.

Don't ever beg - you will be ruined for life!

[sbk]

So, did you post in the women's forum to get advice from women or just to complain about them? moving to family forum since this really doesn't seem the approprate forum for your issues.

[OxfordWill]

if you use protection she will not get an STD,

Hi, that's unfortunately not true. NSU, chlamydia, some herpes and even gonno can be passed between two people having fully protected sex. Not to mention scabies, genital warts and some others. All with a condom on from the day you met.

Why are all you ladies ignoring the fact this fella is trying not to be unfaithful to his lady? You seem to be concentrating on the "male sex fiend" possibility and not the "sincere loving partner" possibility. ?

Edited January 6, 2010 by OxfordWill

[MikeyIdea]

The point is not if the OP had sex during the pregnancy or not, it's simply that it takes quite some time after a woman has given birth before feelings return. OP, you're at 2.5 months because that's where your wife is. 2.5 months is nowhere near enough, it could take a year actually.

What will help is for the new mother to get some rest. Thai's are normally bad at taking care of small children in an efficient way, hopelessly bad sometimes, and being a totally exhausted new mother is not going to bring back feelings any faster. Engage in taking care of your child, make her trust that you can take care of the child, then encourage her to rest, and the feeling will come. Push it and you delay it

Saying that though, I had a friend whose wife suggested "quick sex" when the subject came up. Many Thai women (from a poorer family background) still see it as their duty to provide sex, if she can't then the important thing may not necessarily be that she is not the one who does it for a limited period of time, rather that you don't get stuck and fall in love and that everything goes back to normal after she is willing to provide service again.

I certainly wouldn't approach an exhausted new mother about the subject myself, she has enough worries as it is. You could politely talk about it a bit and see what her reaction is, up to you

Edited January 6, 2010 by MikeyIdea

[maccaroni man]

i am not demanding sex. i am saying that i am going out of mind and unable to properly work and exist as a human being in society with this monkey on my back. right now, i have little interest in even sleeping with my wife because the experiences are terrible and the chance of me reaching ejaculation are not even close to 100%. our child is 2.5 months old. we did not have sex throughout the entirety of the pregnancy.

sometimes i don't understand how these rules of monogamy even got forced on us considering how much more important sex is to men than women. my wife has no interest in sex but would probably have my head on a platter if she found out that i was unfaithful. god should have made the male genitals detachable so wives could keep them in their purse.

the funny thing about cheating is that, if i were to say "look, you are not interested in sex, so why dont you let me handle it myself discretely in one hour sessions and then when you are back to normal i will get tested and all will be good. i have no interest in forging social relationships with these hoes and will just use them as masturbatory objects of flesh. i am 100% committed to you and our child" the responsible thing to do, i would get eaten alive. so instead, the option to save my marriage is to continue suffering or cheat and risk passing my wife an STD.

honestly i would think that you would have had this figured out by now if you already went 9 months with no sex during her pregnacy. btw what man in thailand feels like monogamy is being forced on him? This is a man world, and as a man you can do whatever you want, but what you really want to do is respect your wifes feelings and do what ever you need to do without her knowing, there is no benefit in telling her unless you think she may join in.

[473geo]

The point is not if the OP had sex during the pregnancy or not, it's simply that it takes quite some time after a woman has given birth before feelings return. OP, you're at 2.5 months because that's where your wife is. 2.5 months is nowhere near enough, it could take a year actually.

What will help is for the new mother to get some rest. Thai's are normally bad at taking care of small children in an efficient way, hopelessly bad sometimes, and being a totally exhausted new mother is not going to bring back feelings any faster. Engage in taking care of your child, make her trust that you can take care of the child, then encourage her to rest, and the feeling will come. Push it and you delay it

Saying that though, I had a friend whose wife suggested "quick sex" when the subject came up. Many Thai women (from a poorer family background) still see it as their duty to provide sex, if she can't then the important thing may not necessarily be that she is not the one who does it for a limited period of time, rather that you don't get stuck and fall in love and that everything goes back to normal after she is willing to provide service again.

I certainly wouldn't approach an exhausted new mother about the subject myself, she has enough worries as it is. You could politely talk about it a bit and see what her reaction is, up to you

I thank you for reinforcing my belief that my wife is one extra special person...........

Thankfully none of the highlighted comments above bear any resemblance to any happenings our marriage....... .

Clearly I am a very lucky man.....I would like to think there are others out there?

Edited January 6, 2010 by 473geo

[TheJoker12]

You are the winner Geo. Go collect your prize at the front of the Internet.

[Moonrakers]

I don't see why the OP doesn't just have a tug and be done with it.

[Lovedog100]

i am not demanding sex. i am saying that i am going out of mind and unable to properly work and exist as a human being in society with this monkey on my back. right now, i have little interest in even sleeping with my wife because the experiences are terrible and the chance of me reaching ejaculation are not even close to 100%. our child is 2.5 months old. we did not have sex throughout the entirety of the pregnancy.

sometimes i don't understand how these rules of monogamy even got forced on us considering how much more important sex is to men than women. my wife has no interest in sex but would probably have my head on a platter if she found out that i was unfaithful. god should have made the male genitals detachable so wives could keep them in their purse.

the funny thing about cheating is that, if i were to say "look, you are not interested in sex, so why dont you let me handle it myself discretely in one hour sessions and then when you are back to normal i will get tested and all will be good. i have no interest in forging social relationships with these hoes and will just use them as masturbatory objects of flesh. i am 100% committed to you and our child" the responsible thing to do, i would get eaten alive. so instead, the option to save my marriage is to continue suffering or cheat and risk passing my wife an STD.

Edited January 6, 2010 by Lovedog100

[Mossfinn]

I don't see why the OP doesn't just have a tug and be done with it.

my palms are practically raw.

[WeeGB]

TheJoker12 wrote:

"my wife has no interest in sex but would probably have my head on a platter if she found out that i was unfaithful. god should have made the male genitals detachable so wives could keep them in their purse"

If you're wife is Thai, it wouldn't be your head on a platter.

Careful what you wish for.

[eek]

OMG Wee..

[soic]

The depth of your commitment is what I'm curious about. If you love your wife and your child; I would assume that patience and understanding shouldn't be a problem. I know that as a man... we have certain desires... not NEEDS when it comes to sex. My ex and I didn't have good sexual relations for almost 5 months and even then it was hit and miss. I was disappointed yes, but I kept it to myself. She already had to deal with a fussy baby, she didn't need to compound it with a whiny husband. I tried to help with the baby, help around the house and worked more. Truthfully, I also self gratified when the "desire" became too much. Becoming a husband and a parent means giving up part of yourself FOREVER. lol If you don't demand it, beg for it or constantly ask or expect it, she may surprise you. My ex and I didn't split up7 years later because of sex, that returned to "normal" whatever that is...

The best sex I ever had with my Thai wife, of 5 years, came when we both returned from the shop totally exhausted. She asked me... "Tirac, is it ok if we don't make sex tonight? am too tired." I responded with "of course it's ok, I'm tired too and I didn't marry you for sex, I married you because I love you. I don't care if we make sex or not, I love you anyway." That night in bed after our shower and good night smooch, she literally jumped me. I was shocked and asked what happened. She giggled and said "I changed my mind." Whew... it's wonderous what a little freedom of choice can do.

That's just my two cents worth... as the Thais always say... "Up to you"

[eek]

soic, you sound like a great guy, im sure your wife must really appreciate you.

[OxfordWill]

I know that as a man... we have certain desires... not NEEDS when it comes to sex

Yes and there are desires and then there are desires. What level of inconvenience a particular desire may cause an individual is dictated by his brain only and no two brains are wired alike. You managed to survive 5 months of sexual dissatisfaction which I applaud you for but I assure you I would have killed myself- does this perhaps make it a need after all, at least for me? Suicide does rather impinge on ones survival after all.

Edited January 9, 2010 by OxfordWill

[popmybubble]

I know that as a man... we have certain desires... not NEEDS when it comes to sex

Yes and there are desires and then there are desires. What level of inconvenience a particular desire may cause an individual is dictated by his brain only and no two brains are wired alike. You managed to survive 5 months of sexual dissatisfaction which I applaud you for but I assure you I would have killed myself- does this perhaps make it a need after all, at least for me? Suicide does rather impinge on ones survival after all.

Would you kill yourself if say, you were in the military and in a particular situation it was physically impossible for you to be with a woman? Or is it a case of, if it's there and I can't have it, it's not worth living?

[sbk]

Will does like his hyperbole, popmybubble

[ArthurPewty]

If the OP is not a troll, then are you joking and can I watch you tell her if you are not?

"Errr! Love. I am a bit bored with Mrs palmer and her five daughters and since you are out of action is it OK if I use the spare room to shag girls or if that is not OK with you I don,t mind renting a room"

Edited January 10, 2010 by ArthurPewty

[OxfordWill]

[WarpSpeed]

I would advocate a softly softly approach. Do you help around the house enough, do you do your share of caring for the infant.

This is where I was going to go...If she is the only one waking up in the middle of the night to feed the baby, change diapers, bathe it, feed it, etc. that is not only a turn off but exhausting for one person to handle alone as well she may feel not only overwhelmed if this is her first but somewhat resentful of her obligation (not her baby but the responsibility she now has) while you're loosy goosy and she has a new baby to mind after and so she is holding it against you subconsciously killing her libido..

Nothing turns on a MYou'dLF more then a father who steps up to the program..Take the baby for awhile and reassure her you can handle it and tell her to go have a nap for a start..

[WarpSpeed]

if you use protection she will not get an STD,

Hi, that's unfortunately not true. NSU, chlamydia, some herpes and even gonno can be passed between two people having fully protected sex. Not to mention scabies, genital warts and some others. All with a condom on from the day you met.

Why are all you ladies ignoring the fact this fella is trying not to be unfaithful to his lady? You seem to be concentrating on the "male sex fiend" possibility and not the "sincere loving partner" possibility. ?

Only because there is no such thing as "fully protected" sex.. That's both a contradiction and truth no mater how protected you may think you are it is virtually impossible to fully prevent some bodily fluid exchange and who wants to really?? Where's the pleasure or the intimacy in that? having sex inside a body glove......Ho hum....... boring!!!! Might as well get one of those new sex droids...

On second thought! Maybe I'm onto something!!

I just read, no sex since pregnancy?? There's peripheral issues here I'm afraid... Goes beyond just good advice...

Edited January 10, 2010 by WarpSpeed

[a2396]

Get a mia noi. End of story. Wife doesn't like it or want it and has no empathy for his needs, apparently. This is a common problem, which often leads to the disintegration of the marriage. Some discussion obviously would be useful, but often impossible.

[a2396]

if you use protection she will not get an STD,

Hi, that's unfortunately not true. NSU, chlamydia, some herpes and even gonno can be passed between two people having fully protected sex. Not to mention scabies, genital warts and some others. All with a condom on from the day you met.

Why are all you ladies ignoring the fact this fella is trying not to be unfaithful to his lady? You seem to be concentrating on the "male sex fiend" possibility and not the "sincere loving partner" possibility. ?

Only because there is no such thing as "fully protected" sex.. That's both a contradiction and truth no mater how protected you may think you are it is virtually impossible to fully prevent some bodily fluid exchange and who wants to really?? Where's the pleasure or the intimacy in that? having sex inside a body glove......Ho hum....... boring!!!! Might as well get one of those new sex droids...

On second thought! Maybe I'm onto something!!

I just read, no sex since pregnancy?? There's peripheral issues here I'm afraid... Goes beyond just good advice...

I never got an STD using a condom. If you don't break them & use them properly they are very safe. However, not the most exciting way to have sex. AND, of course there are other ways of reaching satisfaction, if his wife was so inclined, which I would bet she is not. I'll let the readers figure out what those other options might be.

[OxfordWill]

so you mean I shouldnt be putting the condom on my big toe then?

[WarpSpeed]

if you use protection she will not get an STD,

Hi, that's unfortunately not true. NSU, chlamydia, some herpes and even gonno can be passed between two people having fully protected sex. Not to mention scabies, genital warts and some others. All with a condom on from the day you met.

Why are all you ladies ignoring the fact this fella is trying not to be unfaithful to his lady? You seem to be concentrating on the "male sex fiend" possibility and not the "sincere loving partner" possibility. ?

Only because there is no such thing as "fully protected" sex.. That's both a contradiction and truth no mater how protected you may think you are it is virtually impossible to fully prevent some bodily fluid exchange and who wants to really?? Where's the pleasure or the intimacy in that? having sex inside a body glove......Ho hum....... boring!!!! Might as well get one of those new sex droids...

On second thought! Maybe I'm onto something!!

I just read, no sex since pregnancy?? There's peripheral issues here I'm afraid... Goes beyond just good advice...

I never got an STD using a condom. If you don't break them & use them properly they are very safe. However, not the most exciting way to have sex. AND, of course there are other ways of reaching satisfaction, if his wife was so inclined, which I would bet she is not. I'll let the readers figure out what those other options might be.

Yes and using a condom means you are only having intercourse as any other form of gratification or foreplay exposes you to all STD's...Unless you wrap yourself in Saran Wrap that is..And if you have been having other additional activities and not infected it is just a mere fact of luck and nothing else....Go buy a lottery ticket..

Edited January 11, 2010 by WarpSpeed

[WarpSpeed]

so you mean I shouldnt be putting the condom on my big toe then?

Yes..........You should.............If that's what you use!!