You Know The Two Day Sulk Is Over When . . .

[DavidOxon]

Hi guys . . .

Thai ladies seem to like to give the silent treatment . . .

I know everything's ok again when I go to get ready for bed

and she's put toothpaste on my toothbrush

What does your lady do?

David

[chiang mai]

Knocks on the door and asks to be let back into the house again, the silence treatment is the one tactic I simply will not tolerate.

[garyh]

Takes the sharp knife out of the bed side drawer and puts it back in the kitchen

[eek]

Not just Thai Ladies, Thai men too..or at least for me! Im sick of it! How to stop someone doing that? Ive gotten to the point now where i think i have to say change your ways or i cant go on like this! (Well..that combined with some other things). I understand the need for silent retreat, but a 5 day silent treatment just broke this morning!!!!

Er...dont want to kill the lightheartedness of this thread tho', so to stay on topic ill say that the silent treatment broke (and often breaks) with an email or txt message (as he stays away at his work or other house when hes doing the silent treatment on me). Usually a few short lines as though nothing happened like "Good morning Darling!". THis morning i got a youtube link to Enya's Flora's secret showing various pictures of flowers with the heading "Good Morning".

Honestly...this way of dealing with stuff..especially if small stuff...is exasperating!!!!!

Edited January 6, 2010 by eek

[Meridian007]

Knocks on the door and asks to be let back into the house again, the silence treatment is the one tactic I simply will not tolerate.

A little too strong, but I agree with the sentiment. Over the past two years my girlfriend has learned that I want to be with a woman, not a spoiled little girl. There are some mature ones out there!

***Edit***

I just saw Eek's response, and I agree. I think the main reason that there are so many women that act immaturely here, is that the men act just as immaturely! I told my girlfriend that if she didn't want similar lunacy from me, that she would have to figure out a way to discuss things with me.

Edited January 6, 2010 by Meridian007

[Mosha]

If it's any consolation, it's not an expat thing. A couple of our Thai friends are doing it to one another just now. It's quite comical to watch as one enters a room the other leaves. With mine I just wait her out. As long as she cooks I just put up with it, eventually she cracks. Then I give a mock "Are you talking to me?"

[Ski_Goong]

I know everything's O.K when she tells me to send my Gik home. Seriously though, I don't really have a Gik. jing jing. NO Gik. Honey, are you reading this?

[IanForbes]

Knocks on the door and asks to be let back into the house again, the silence treatment is the one tactic I simply will not tolerate.

Takes the sharp knife out of the bed side drawer and puts it back in the kitchen

Thanks for my morning laugh.

There are some things about living with someone that I DON'T miss. Of course there are also a few that I DO miss.

[garyh]

I used to have a Filipino girlfriend, many times she would have dreams that I did something she did not like and I would get the cold shoulder for it!!!!

[Latindancer]

I found a girl who never does this.........

[MegaRanter]

I found a girl who never does this.........

Odds she is not thai.

[TheJoker12]

When the silent treatment ends I start thinking of ways to get it started again.

[geriatrickid]

Well, someone is coming home from mommy after a 2 day silent treatment. I'll see what happens. I am anticipating a full out barrage though, so I am figuring out if I should hide the throwable breakable items. I'm also checking to make sure the condoms are acccessible. These things can go either way.

[Loz]

I like grown ups too much to get sucked into a local relationship. Fun reading about this stuff though... keep up the good work.

Ps. Never dated a woman who does the silent treatment. This might be due to the fact that I used to be willing to go a night without sleep to get to the bottom of a problem (regardless of "her" sleep requirements). This has been known to shorten relationships... among other causes :/

[Roadman]

Knocks on the door and asks to be let back into the house again, the silence treatment is the one tactic I simply will not tolerate.

Mostly agree but not quite, as she knows after the one time she tried it a long time ago that she may not be allowed back in the door.

Totally agree that it is a very successful training technique.

[camerata]

What does your lady do?

Starts talking to me again as if nothing had happened.

[eek]

What does your lady do?

Starts talking to me again as if nothing had happened.

EXACTLY!

...I dont know about you guys, but i learned the hard way about even trying to address whatever the problem was after the silent treatment breaks, or even if i try ask what the silent treatment was about..just results in another silent treatment! However, i counteracted that one early on with a VERY LONG drawn out silent treatment (as much as i felt pathetic in doing so) in retaliation. Then he realised.."oh ..this isnt much fun, is it!". But..ive still not found a way to stop the moody silent treatment..but to be honest, that along with several other things has me wondering if its really worth the headache anymore. I understand the Thai way of not wanting to be confrontational, but sweeping issues under the carpet, or getting sulky over stupid things just seems childish and unreasonable to be perfectly honest.

[longstebe]

Mine is not to bad actually. She gives me the silent treatment for no longer than 30 mins.

Then she will laugh. It's so predictable though.

[bonobo]

I do the silent treatment myself.  Maybe not for two days, but if I get into a confrontation, I break it off.  I don't want to fight and say something in the heat of the moment, so I just go read a book, watch television, or go online.  

By the next morning, things are fine and whatever caused the riff can either be ignored or discussed in a rational manner without tempers flying.

[tutsiwarrior]

If it's any consolation, it's not an expat thing. A couple of our Thai friends are doing it to one another just now. It's quite comical to watch as one enters a room the other leaves. With mine I just wait her out. As long as she cooks I just put up with it, eventually she cracks. Then I give a mock "Are you talking to me?"

good one ...however, ye gotta have the wife watch Taxi Driver to understand the significance with emphasis on the scene with the crazy guy in the back of the cab (Scorcese in a cameo role) describing the things that he shall do to his difficult wife with a .44 magnum...

'you talkin' to me?'

I don't get the silent treatment anymore...now the wife just hauls off an' lets me have it with anything that comes to hand...been married nearly 10 years now; something to be said for maturity...

Edited January 6, 2010 by tutsiwarrior

[WinnieTheKhwai]

This topic makes me jealous.. I wish mine went silent when upset!

[MikeyIdea]

One of the problems in farang - Thai relationships is that the farang necessarily must try to talk about everything, to "clear up" every single problem. Really un-experienced ones must necessarily do it on the spot too. If one wants to talk and the other one doesn't, then it simply doesn't work. Ignoring is stronger.

Women hate to be ignored, problems can often be solved by ignoring and by showing less interest in them. Not enough to cause a reason for the Thai to go on the offensive, just enough ignore to make her realise that she's less important, that will make her think! Demanding to discuss will generally not in my experience

What does my girl do? If I'm lucky then she'll give me the silent treatment, worse cases and she'll get aggitated and loud. What do I do? If she ignores I ignore, if she gets loud, then I'm at the stage where I openly tell her that it makes me bored - almost every time she does it. If she gets really loud, then I say: My House, if you want to stay, behave.

How does it end from her side? She shows me that she takes care of our daughter better (or rather, in a less bad way)

[tim armstrong]

The last time my wife did this, which was some time ago, I weakened and gave her a single red rose from the garden. She took the rose, looked at me mischieviously, looked at the rose again and ate it !

[mauGR1]

I do the silent treatment myself. Maybe not for two days, but if I get into a confrontation, I break it off. I don't want to fight and say something in the heat of the moment, so I just go read a book, watch television, or go online.

By the next morning, things are fine and whatever caused the riff can either be ignored or discussed in a rational manner without tempers flying.

I agree with your point,i would choose silence over a heated argument anytime.

Btw it's not a Thai thing either,i can remember mama complaining about my father's silence treatments.

[geriatrickid]

One of the problems in farang - Thai relationships is that the farang necessarily must try to talk about everything, to "clear up" every single problem. Really un-experienced ones must necessarily do it on the spot too. If one wants to talk and the other one doesn't, then it simply doesn't work. Ignoring is stronger.

You nailed it. Too bad you didn't tell me this a year ago.

I am beginning to see why some of you have relationships that work and I'm relegated to keeping the cat company.

[MikeyIdea]

One of the problems in farang - Thai relationships is that the farang necessarily must try to talk about everything, to "clear up" every single problem. Really un-experienced ones must necessarily do it on the spot too. If one wants to talk and the other one doesn't, then it simply doesn't work. Ignoring is stronger.

You nailed it. Too bad you didn't tell me this a year ago.

I am beginning to see why some of you have relationships that work and I'm relegated to keeping the cat company.

Hard earned experience my friend. I am on my second marriage here. In the first one, my ex climbed up in a power position that became impossible. She didn't want to be bad, she had just had to fight being pushed down by men all her life and she just didn't realise that she didn't have to fight until it was too late and feelings were distroyed. It's strange, we are still keeping contact and we both today more than 10 years later say that it was the saddest day in our lives when we divorced.

That taught me a bit about how to handle women

Edited January 6, 2010 by MikeyIdea

[IanForbes]

One of the problems in farang - Thai relationships is that the farang necessarily must try to talk about everything, to "clear up" every single problem. Really un-experienced ones must necessarily do it on the spot too. If one wants to talk and the other one doesn't, then it simply doesn't work. Ignoring is stronger.

Women hate to be ignored, problems can often be solved by ignoring and by showing less interest in them. Not enough to cause a reason for the Thai to go on the offensive, just enough ignore to make her realise that she's less important, that will make her think! Demanding to discuss will generally not in my experience

What does my girl do? If I'm lucky then she'll give me the silent treatment, worse cases and she'll get aggitated and loud. What do I do? If she ignores I ignore, if she gets loud, then I'm at the stage where I openly tell her that it makes me bored - almost every time she does it. If she gets really loud, then I say: My House, if you want to stay, behave.

How does it end from her side? She shows me that she takes care of our daughter better (or rather, in a less bad way)

Good points. Bullies hate to be ignored as well. It works for children who have trouble with school yard bullies. I learned that you look right THROUGH a bully and don't respond in any way. If they are in the hallway and are in your way then walk right through them, and when you touch each other act like it was a pylon or telephone pole. If they throw a ball or something at you then let it just bounce off while making no expression at all.

But, if they physically hit you then it is time for more serious measures... but pick YOUR spot and YOUR timing. Act like you were going to walk right by them again like before, and then without any warning drive the heal of your hand under the point of their nose. Follow that up with a knee to the groin. Then, leave like nothing ever happened. Don't stand over them to gloat or they may get up and give you a beating. I can assure you that they won't bully you any more.

Yes, there IS a more violent part of me that simmers just below a cool exterior.

[canincm]

I think that the silent treatment is stupid and immature. If you need some time apart, just say so! "I need a few hours alone" is so much better than pretending that your spouse or partner doesn't exist. I'm in the same boat as eek with a Thai MAN who pulls this game out of nowhere for trivial reasons.

[sharecropper]

This is a good thread. Sometimes you can find yourself wondering if it is only your own missus who acts like a teenager (assumng she's not of course).

If we have the silent treatment I tell my wife if she cannot stop, she must go to Bangkok to her family and come back when she wants to continue the relationship. I know the silent treatment is over when she doesn't go.

[Mosha]

It's not blazing rows that start it in our house. We don't have blazing rows, we get on very well, and agree on most things. I narrowly avoided one silent treatment yesterday.

Sopha . "Ven!" She shortens my name to the last sounding syllable so Stephen becomes Ven.

Me from two doors away. "Yes."

Sopha a little louder. "Ven!"

Me also louder. "Yes."

Sopha louder still "Ven!"

Me matching her volume "Yes!"

Then silence, I finished what I was doing on the PC and went to see what she wanted, she was applying her war paint to go to a wake or what ever they call it.

So I asked her what she wanted. "Why do you talk so loud, I don't like it." <deleted>

This is so stupid, she can't hear me and when I make myself heard she starts sulking.