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How Do I Get Out Of This . . .


MJP

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I was in visitation yesterday by a crowd of elderly neighbours. This is not uncommon, in fact it's routine.

However, on this occasion they displayed an unusual eagerness and motivation towards a 'plan'.

A sheet of A4 was grabbed from the printer and a ballpoint snatched from the desk tidy . . . a plan was about to be drawn up . . . literally.

We'd got as far as the pick-up truck, me, lots of dancing and the local town . . . when my friend Richy for NY turned up at the door. Merrily distracted for a few minutes I'd forgotten all about this 'plan' which was now complete and on my desk . . . glancing down I noticed it, to my horror!

See what you make of it, attached.

Yes, from what I can make out, I'm to be put on parade. Now, being naturally shy of such festivities, how do I diplomatically get out of this one?

post-62129-1264237244_thumb.jpg

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Or maybe they wanted you to organize everything, including hiring the car, getting it decorated and hiring the dancers?

You didn't say if they wanted you in the parade as the sacrificial goat to their local diety, or for you to organize the whole shebang out of your pocket for them. :)

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Or maybe they wanted you to organize everything, including hiring the car, getting it decorated and hiring the dancers?

You didn't say if they wanted you in the parade as the sacrificial goat to their local diety, or for you to organize the whole shebang out of your pocket for them. :)

that was my first thought too, actually...

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I'd agree with the 'making monk' suggestion.

Maybe they want you to pay for the party (and drive the pickup)

Could be worse, could be you in the back.

Apparently, that is me in the back, on that thrown affair.

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Shaved, along with your head.

How do you look in orange?

Ummmm . . . orange.

Right then, we've had a convincing selection of 'whys' now how about the 'hows' . . . as in how the hel_l to get out of this.

I'm thinking, feigning illness . . .

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Tell them,

you have bad knees and can't kneel.

you are photosensitive and cannot have sun light on your bald head.

you are thinking of becoming a Muslim.

your eyebrows are your most appealing feature and you won't give them up.

your wife cannot do without your 'services' for more than a day.

you are allergic to orange.

you 'mai mii dtung'.

If none of the above work, just go through with it. Think of the Karma you'll be earning.

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Buy a quart of Sangsom & leave it out on the stoop. Problem solved.

AWESOME IDEA!!!!

Yes, the grocery budget has slightly increased for February . . . reckon a box of Lau Kao should do it, needs to be placed and timed right. Could run it like an Easter egg hunt. :)

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I'm not sure everyone is on the right path here, aren't those flames coming up behind your seat, are you going to be sacrificed perhaps?

But more seriously, I would get down to the pharmacist sharpish and perhaps buy a bottle of ant-gas or perhaps a strip of Imodium and display said items prominently when your hosts arrive tomorrow, perhaps much clutching of stomach may add to the visual effects. Second option might be to buy the bottle of Sang Som suggested earlier, drink it and sleep through the enire proceedings. Best of luck either way and let us know.

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I'm not sure everyone is on the right path here, aren't those flames coming up behind your seat, are you going to be sacrificed perhaps?

But more seriously, I would get down to the pharmacist sharpish and perhaps buy a bottle of ant-gas or perhaps a strip of Imodium and display said items prominently when your hosts arrive tomorrow, perhaps much clutching of stomach may add to the visual effects. Second option might be to buy the bottle of Sang Som suggested earlier, drink it and sleep through the enire proceedings. Best of luck either way and let us know.

I'll update as we approach this troublesome period.

I just make out I've no idea what they're going on about and shall make myself scarce throughout that period.

So next question . . . where to hide?

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I'm not sure everyone is on the right path here, aren't those flames coming up behind your seat, are you going to be sacrificed perhaps?

But more seriously, I would get down to the pharmacist sharpish and perhaps buy a bottle of ant-gas or perhaps a strip of Imodium and display said items prominently when your hosts arrive tomorrow, perhaps much clutching of stomach may add to the visual effects. Second option might be to buy the bottle of Sang Som suggested earlier, drink it and sleep through the enire proceedings. Best of luck either way and let us know.

I'll update as we approach this troublesome period.

I just make out I've no idea what they're going on about and shall make myself scarce throughout that period.

So next question . . . where to hide?

You can have the spare room if you need it, welcome any time.

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Sorry hiding is not an option........you may have a few shots to dull any pain.....then in the best interests of TV followers you must go through whatever is planned and report back.......

Just in case we too are confronted with such a drawing......

Look forward to reading your report... :) .

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I'm not sure everyone is on the right path here, aren't those flames coming up behind your seat, are you going to be sacrificed perhaps?

But more seriously, I would get down to the pharmacist sharpish and perhaps buy a bottle of ant-gas or perhaps a strip of Imodium and display said items prominently when your hosts arrive tomorrow, perhaps much clutching of stomach may add to the visual effects. Second option might be to buy the bottle of Sang Som suggested earlier, drink it and sleep through the enire proceedings. Best of luck either way and let us know.

I'll update as we approach this troublesome period.

I just make out I've no idea what they're going on about and shall make myself scarce throughout that period.

So next question . . . where to hide?

You can have the spare room if you need it, welcome any time.

That's very kind and it would be nice to see a fellow farang.

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That is why one should have a little idea of Thai customs.

What they are showing you is a ceremony all Thai young men undergo around age 19, they become a monk and there is a party paid by the parents to invite all family and friends.

Their picture could be one of a couple of meanings.

1 They were inviting you to the party,

2 It also could be that they were asking you to drive your truck at the occasion, but that is normally the duty of the parents.

3 As you say they were elderly and the young and middle aged people usually dance all the way to the Wat (temple) They may have been asking you if they could ride in the back of your pick-up to the Wat and back.

I have been to many of these "monkhoods" The picture shows the young man in the pick-up ( not yours) his head is shaved as, well as the young boys in the family that were chosen to accompany him. It is tradition that he rides under the umbrella.

They are not asking you to pay for anything, envelopes are usually given out to the invited guest, and we deposit 100 baht in it and give it to the family at the dinner after the ceremony. If it is a close family member we give more.

It is my guess that they are asking you to drive them to the wat in the cars that follow the one taking the Monk.

Cost to you is the gas to go to the Wat, and 100 baht if you go to the dinner. That's all.

Cheers: :)

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