Stroke In Thailand

[blue eyes]

A friend of mine lives in the US.Every year his wife and kids go to Thailand for the summer,about 2 months.This past summer in Thailand (2009) she had a stroke.She has gotten well enough to travel,walk,talk,bath,feed herself and such. He has now brought her and the kids back to the US.He did not really think this through before he brought her back to the US.Now the problem.She can not care for the kids or herself.He does not have the money to pay someone to take care of her in the US.Very expensive.No insurance.The kids go to school during the work day,so not a problem.He has to stay in the US to make money.Does anyone know of a place that she could live in Thailand.What she needs is someone to watch her 24hours a day to make sure she eats,takes her meds and get her to the doctor once a week for her tests.Pretty much just a weekly blood test and maybe on occation an MRI.She cannot remember what she did 10 minutes before so she can not be left alone.

Her family members can not be trusted.They have proven that over the last 4 or 6 months.As they have drained all of the cash from her and his accounts that they gained access to.Being that his wife had a stroke they worked her over good for the access codes.

Any help and any ideas would be great.Also a cost of what it would be.

Thank you so much everyone in advance.

[givenall]

You there are laws in US againt such things, may be get a lawyer and sue the family member first and get back the money plus more

[Sheryl]

In my experience the only inexpensive way to deal with a situation like this is to have the person at home and independnetly hire in help. But also in my experience, be it in Thailand or anywhere else, that sort of arrangement is not safely feasible unless there is a reliable friend or relative overseeing it.

If taking care of the kids is a problem, not sure how sending the mom away solves that?

His best bet to is to consult a good medical social worker in the US. There may be government benefits/programs she can access. A medical social worker would know all the ins and outs of this.

Sending the wife, alone, to live in Thailand is not a viable option for the reasons mentioned above,. It would also likely worsen her confusion and greatly stress her to be removed from her husband and children.

[samuibeachcomber]

a very sad predicament,as sheryl said better to stay in the USA.What a scumbag family,no matter how poor you might be,to do that to someone who is sick and unable to care or think properly is just downright disgusting.

[wasabi]

Gotta agree with Sheryl. Very unfortunate situation. Though labor is very cheap in Thailand, you also get what you pay for and the type of care she needs may be better provided for via a government agency in the US if private care can't be afforded.

[blue eyes]

Her family members are all Thai and living in Thailand so the US laws really could not do much to them.She did give them the access and they were taking care of her until the accounts went empty.Even the money that we had collected thru the local Wat here they took for their own use and not for her.IncredableTakeing care of the kids is not a problem.The father can take care of them when he is not at work and they are out of school.He is self employed.He does not make a lot of money and is pretty restricted with what he can due to make money becuase of his education.Because she is a resident alien there are not really any programs in the US that she is eligable for.As to SSA or SIS she has not worked long enough to get dissabilaty thru SSA and she is not elligable for SSI disabilaty because she is a resident alien.She could collect off of her husbands but they can not own their own home or the truck that he needs for his work.They want him to be poor with nothing before she can collect anything.Really sad.I just can not find a way to help my friend.

This just makes me so much more thankfull for what I have.

[uncertaintimes]

Think you can count on family? Yeah right. that is bullshit in most cases. Robbing her to boot, like you said is just down right wrong. I am of the belief that we one day pay for all these things.

a very sad predicament,as sheryl said better to stay in the USA.What a scumbag family,no matter how poor you might be,to do that to someone who is sick and unable to care or think properly is just downright disgusting.

[NADTATIDA1]

The only way really is to claim off the husbands disability benefit or what ever it is in the states,the children are the important thing right now and stability is what is needed for them and her also,i do feel sorry for him as this is a really sad situation.but i have heard worse.As for the family.....he should forget them, he has his children and his wife,given time and help who knows what might happen to her condition.

Edited February 24, 2010 by NADTATIDA1

[Tiger7Moth]

I recently read about a foreign fellow whose mother has Alzheimer's disease. He has a background in Social Work and has set up a facility in Chiang Mai for the care of people with Alzheimer's disease. Apparently, from what I read, the facility is very successful as the Thai staff are very caring and take excellent care of the patients. Obviously, Alzheimer's is not exactly the same as a stroke but, the need for good care takers seems similar. Although this is a business, the founder according to the article I read, is a very caring person. I imagine it is fairly expensive but much less expensive than a similar facility in the US. So, perhaps a few months at this facility would result in great improvement for the woman who had the stroke.

I did a Google on Alzheimer's care Chiang Mai and wasn't successful. But, I think with a bit more effort, if this sounds like a hopeful possibility, one could find the name and contact info of the facility (wish I had the link to the article I read, but, unfortunately, I don't.

Again, the guy who founded the facility, whose mother has Alzheimer's, has an appropriate background to run a facility such as this and seemed to be a very nice, caring guy. So, perhaps he would be willing to try to help.

[Sheryl]

Not sure but think the above may be referring to http://www.centa-care.com/services.php

They provide home health care, not inpatient AFAIK.

In any case I would definitely recommend against custodial care (an inpatient in a facility) for this woman based on description of her condition. She needs some assistance/supervision at home but does not need to be institutionalized and if she were, would surely become seevrely depressed and rapidly detereriorate.

While I fully sympathiz with the problems her family are experiencing, the patient has to be the priority here.. And the sense of abandonment she would almost certainly feel if shipped off somewhere away from her husband and children would be devastating and significantly affect her prognosis.

From what OP has posted, difficulty accessing government programs is due to being a resident alien and not a naturalized citizen. Husband should pursue getting her naturalized. Other options to pursue:

1. In every state and county in the US there is a gov ernment department specifically for issues relating to the elderly and disabled. Depending on the State, may be called the "Department of Aging and Disability Services", " "Elderly and Disability Services" etc. A simple google of the state name plus disability should yield this.

They provide counselling and referral and might be able to assist this man and fast-tracking his wife for citizenship.

2. There are also private charities that assist, again the State agencies mentioned could advise, or do a google search

3. Lastly, having done home health care in the US I know that many families hire foreigner live-in help, often Filipino or (in border states) Mexican. There seems to be a whole network of Filipinas doing this sort of work in the US. Not always legal immigrants of course. But it's done. Usually in such arrangements the salary is not that high as the room and board provided is taken into account, also as they are private arrangements between the family and the employee, no agency fees. Tapping into this will require some asking around; if he can find someone who has a live-in person, that person will surely know of others.