Confusing English /oxymorons For Thai Students

[cognos]

I work with special needs students, but aren't we all special needs to some degree??

Here is some confusing English..feel free to add on..

- A house burns down as it burns up.

- You fill in a form by filling it out.

- Noses run and feet smell.

- When the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out they are invisible.

- Quite a lot and quite a few refer to the same quantity.

- Sitting up and sitting down refer to the same action.

- A fat chance is the same as a slim chance.

Oxymorons:

- military intelligence

- virtually spotless

- fresh frozen

- jumbo shrimp

- civil war

- friendly fire

[Scott]

Oh, I don't like this thread. You post this just when I was sure I know and can explain almost everything!

[sensei]

Why so do we call a building a building when it has already been built?

[sensei]

Something sent by car is called shipment.

Anything sent by ship is called cargo.

[mca]

A lot of English speaking Thais I know can't get their heads around "Come over to my house"

[sensei]

Points to Ponder

Why is the fear of long words called hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?

Is it possible to be totally partial?

Why do we call it a hamburger when it is made from beef?

Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it BEGINS ringing?

How can there be self-help groups?

Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

Corn oil is made from corn, Olive oil is made from olives, so what does baby oil come from?

Why is a boxing ring square?

Why is black light not black?

How can someone be dirt poor, and another be filthy rich?

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

Why do tugboats push their barges?

Why are they called stands when they are made for sitting?

Is there another word for synonym?

Why do they call it quicksand when it sucks you down slowly?

Why do scientists call it research when they are looking for something new?

Why do we drive on a parkway and park in a driveway?

[cognos]

If you see a Thai lady who is AWFULLY PRETTY, ALONE IN A CROWD, and you say to her it would be AWFULLY GOOD for you and her to be ALONE TOGETHER, but to her, it may seem as CLEAR AS MUD, and she may become a DEAF LISTENER at ALMOST EXACTLY that moment.

SIGNED: confused

[toasted]

There is a small number of words that themselves have more than one meaning which may be contrary to each other.

Dust - to remove dust from a surface.

Dust - to put a layer on a surface (as in crop dusting).

[cognos]

There is a small number of words that themselves have more than one meaning which may be contrary to each other.

Dust - to remove dust from a surface.

Dust - to put a layer on a surface (as in crop dusting).

I refused to dust the dust, so i got dusted

signed: dead

[IMA_FARANG]

And if food that is inedible is something you can't eat, the why is a substance that is inflammable something that burns easily?

[IMA_FARANG]

I heard all that you said, and I think I understand what I thought you meant, but I'm not sure if what I thought I heard was really what you thought you meant to say.

(A statement that should be perefectly clear to a native English speaker, but would probably confuse the h+ll out of someone trying to learn English as a foriegn language.)

[dave_boo]

My personal favourite (from a Sheryl Crow song):

I got a four wheel drive and I park it in my driveway, when I get drunk I drive it on the parkway.

[toasted]

In a similar vein, why do Brits post a letter and get post delivered in the morning by the postman from the post office, when it's called the Royal Mail? On the other hand why do Americans mail letters, get mail in the morning from their mailman, yet call their service the US Postal Service?

[Thanh-BKK]

Hi.

He who rapes is a rapist. Then why he who races is not a racist??

Thanh

[cognos]

When I saw a store in Thailand with a big "Porn" sign on the front, I was surprised when all they sold was dresses

signed: off topic