How Many Lie's From Your Partner

[drum]

for me one would make me lose trust in a partner two would make me have serious thought's to end a relationship,

[patong]

How Many Lie's From Your Partner, before you end the relationship?

for me one would make me lose trust in a partner two would make me have serious thought's to end a relationship,

why would you ask this question?

[473geo]

Depends, for me, firstly the reason for a lie, was the intention to deliberately deceive in order to gain some sort of personal benefit?

Secondly the seriousness of the lie, was it merely to save face......ie. the shop didn't have the product.....when in fact it was just forgotten!

There are many differing reasons why people are, as the saying goes, 'economical with the truth' not all are designed to cause damage.

[drum]

How Many Lie's From Your Partner, before you end the relationship?

for me one would make me lose trust in a partner two would make me have serious thought's to end a relationship,

why would you ask this question?

i ask this question because i can not tolerate a liar,and no matter how long a friend, partner or college i find it difficult to see them has i knew them before the lie's started,just wonderd if this a human trait,or is it just me,

[BigWheelMan]

I hate liars, cheats and deceipt.

One big lie and then it`s out the door.

Did you know that if a man and woman are in love the man is much more likely to sacrifice himself for her than she is for him? Also, men fall in love faster. These are in general, of course, but they're true as far as I've read.

[davee58]

It depends what the lie is.

"Honey you drunk too many beers already" is a lie that (whilst irritating) might be forgiven in the morning.

Lies about another relationship, or financial theft, you should apply the "one strike and out" principle, and it is not you who has ended the relationship.

[sanook2me]

"Honey you drunk too many beers already" is a lie that (whilst irritating) might be forgiven in the morning.

My wife has a gig

[phetaroi]

Depends, for me, firstly the reason for a lie, was the intention to deliberately deceive in order to gain some sort of personal benefit?

Secondly the seriousness of the lie, was it merely to save face......ie. the shop didn't have the product.....when in fact it was just forgotten!

There are many differing reasons why people are, as the saying goes, 'economical with the truth' not all are designed to cause damage.

I would somewhat agree with you, and everyone gets to make one mistake...and I guess that might include one significant lie. I would also, however, put my foot down about constant "little white lies". They are not exactly trust-builders.

But the most important rule for me...a relationship ought to be based on relative equality (although each brings different things to the relationship), and if the balance shifts to the point where I am being "used", then my partner will be back in a shit-hole apartment faster than I can snap my fingers. Although I wanted to come here for retirement, I still made a lot of sacrifices to do so.

[LomSak27]

i

ask this question because i can not tolerate a liar,and no matter how long a friend, partner or college i find it difficult to see them has i knew them before the lie's started,just wonderd if this a human trait,or is it just me,

Uhhhhh are you living in Thailand? If the answer is yes, I suggest an active search for a country you might feel mroe at home in. If you plan on living here for any length of time, given what you have stated you will not like it, just a fact.

[maccaroni man]

from what i have seen the 1st lie that is exposed is the surface of many more. case in point a man i know told me his wife had been called and asked to retun to work at an office, for six months she left every morning to go to the office, it wasnt until the bank came to his house to appraise it that he found out that he was about to lose his house to the bank?! his wife was in fact gambling. the lie about a job was just the tip of the ice berge, to his credit he cut his losses and changed the dynamics of their relationship immediatly.

[Lite Beer]

Anti Thai posts deleted.

[IanForbes]

It all depends on the type of lie and what it was intended for. Some lies are told so as not to hurt someone's feelings. Some lies are told so as not to lose face. Other lies are told to decieve someone. The later is the worst and kills all credibility for the one telling the lie. One or two of those and I would pack my bags and leave.

I took a vow when I was 18 to never tell any more lies, and I've kept my word. It's just not worth it. However, I just don't blurt out the truth if I know it's going to hurt someone's feelings. Better to stay silent.

The face saving lies are VERY common in Thailand. It is just a fact of life. With the women I associate with I explain I don't CARE what they do, and anything they tell me is okay by me. My feelings will not be hurt and I put honesty above all else.

[IanForbes]

Did you know that if a man and woman are in love the man is much more likely to sacrifice himself for her than she is for him? Also, men fall in love faster. These are in general, of course, but they're true as far as I've read.

As a generality, that is oh so true. By nature, men like to play the white knight in shining armour.

Women will sacrifice themselves for their children. Men are considered expendable.

[slapout]

I have found that many will not lie unless pushed for a response. They seem to change the topic or answer with a question, ignore the question, etc. If its worth pursuing and important enough that you are upset, I would recommend a change in scenery for one or the other if it continues past the first time.

[GungaDin]

Welcome to Lieland.

A common term used for Thailand. Not anti-Thai, just a fact.

You have to live with it, unfortunately.

My answer would be two biggies, and out the door.

[anchan42]

One would be more then enough. I would consider "Honey you drunk too many beers already" an opinion not a lie.

[TheLaughingMan]

dam_n this hits close to home for me. The entire reason I am so alone and miserable these days is because I was forced to break up a 6 year relationship because she would not stop lying.... even though I still love her. I forgave some real dooozies boy I tell ya. I mean serious hidden double life lies... I forgave them all under the condition that she never ever tell even the slightest lie again, not one. 3 months later she told me another whopper of a lie, no matter how painful I had to live up to my threat or I will forever be miserable chasing after the truth from her, and you cant have a relationship with absolutely no trust. She's not Thai by the way.... here I was thinking I was being clever by not dating Thai women. Silly me.

[WarpSpeed]

OP too simplistic. There are grades of lies and it also depends heavily on how much you have invested in the relationship as in family etc.. It's also very important to be certain it is a "lie" and not just lost in translation or cultural difference as many perceived lies can be in this environment.

[Loz]

fool me once, shame on you.

fool me twice, shame on me.

[Loz]

no offence warpspeed. but sund like you may be hanging by a thread... nned someone to tak to?

[Latindancer]

I agree with Warpspeed. However one biggie and I'm outta there. I wasted time in the past, and it was valuable time. Strangely enough, when I finally decided to try to meet a girl who is 100% honest and sincere......there she was. She's Thai, and no temper, either....not even a little.

[BigWheelMan]

fool me once, shame on you.

fool me twice, shame on me.

Good one.

Wise words and says it all.

[Lite Beer]

Post questioning moderation has been deleted.

[F1fanatic]

When I was still married to my ex, his new g/f was boasting in the market to people she knew how she had 'hooked' a farang.

Some time later I found out..... from someone to whom she'd been boasting!

At first she denied anything of the sort, but eventually admitted she'd told someone (my cleaner - who she hardly knew - she was just soooo proud she couldn't stop herself) and thought the other Thai woman would be impressed!

Fortunately for her my hubby accepted that she'd only been lying the same way he had.

I suppose it depends on how desperate you are to believe the lies....

[Patsycat]

I only found out about the lies after we split up - told to me by a "concerned" friend. Just wish that that friend would have told me at the time.

The cheating, the stealing of a friend's jewelery etc.

Still makes me feel nauseous, and a bit angry at myself for not noticing.

I guess love is blind!!

[F1fanatic]

Same here. I found out 3 months after I moved out that his new g/f moved in when I moved out!

The only reason my cleaner told me was 'cos I was going away for 10 days and my ex-hubby tried to get his g/f in to my house to dog-sit (me paying of course). My cleaner decided this was a step too far.....

They deserve each other.

Forgot to mention, whilst I was away visiting my mother (whilst we were still together), one of my necklaces disappeared - its a total mystery how this happened.

[deejah]

lying and the likes are part of complex social interactions

and a part of real life

something i would like to tell everyone:

once you lie to me and i know it

i dont know what else you say is true or a lie

but cant change others, only myself

i guess if people lie to me thats their problem

havnt figured this one out yet

try to be as truthful as i can

lying is a big part of life here

probably the hardest thing to adapt to

[WarpSpeed]

no offence warpspeed. but sund like you may be hanging by a thread... nned someone to tak to?

Eh? How did you get that out of my post??

Even if it may be true..........

[WeeGB]

One.

There is no point in being in a relationship if there is any dishonesty involved. Once you find out your partner has lied, how can you ever trust anything they say or do again?

[F1fanatic]

One.

There is no point in being in a relationship if there is any dishonesty involved. Once you find out your partner has lied, how can you ever trust anything they say or do again?

That is true back in the West, but different considerations apply here in LOS.

Who would believe back home that men would fall for the 'you so hansum - love you too much' line in Thailand?? But they do - only the first lie and everyone wants to believe its true - despite everything they knew back home about life in Thailand......