Jealous!

[Oriantal2000]

How to do with this jealous habit? I feel so jealous when he looks at the porn websites. I feel so jealous when he chats in the dating sites. I have tired so hard to not be jealous but I’m still jealous. He says it’s normal, I know. He says, nothing change him because he lives with me and love only me, I know. He won’t do anything because I know when he goes to work, when he comes home, I know. BUT, I’m still jealous. Am I stupid? Anytime I see I was sad, my love for him is getting less every time I find out.

I think, my jealously is good because I can see I love him. BUT, I’m so scared to feel nothing to him anymore in the future. I want to just blind and don’t know where he has been on the net. BUT, I can’t do it. I’m so jealous.

My jealously is annoying him, I know. I can’t help. I curious and checking like crazy. I told him I’m ok with that, it’s just the websites and pictures and chatting. BUT, I’m still jealous. I lie to him. Sob sob sob.

What do you guys say?

ThaiWoman

[Guest IT Manager]

Hi Thai Woman,

Make him stya in his room for 1 month and take away his internet card. Then beat him for about an hour with a good sized piece of wood. That should fix him.

[chuang]

Oriantal2000...

You are jealous, it shows that you are concerned and love him..

Viewing porn websites occasionally should not be much of a problem as I think most men do, but if it becomes an obession then he has a problem.

Chatting up in dating sites just for fun is ok, but if he starts dating them, this is the second problem.

If he starts coming home late or spend the night out and not much of interaction between you two, then problem number three...sob sob sob....

No you are not stupid, it's just normal...

[Jeepz]

I agree with Chuang somewhat. Almost all men look at porn at some point. Most of them will look at it from time to time. If they are in a relationship, then considerate guys usually try to do it so it doesn't just smack their real life sweethearts in the face.

Chat room is where I kind of disagree with Chuang. If they are in general chat, that is one thing. If they are in dating chat rooms that is another. Sometimes the distinction between the different types of rooms becomes blurred, but usually they are distinctly different. If your guy is spending time in dating chat room, I don't think that is good, he is still trying to pretend he's not in a relationship. If he chats in a general chat room, then not really a big deal.

Like Chuang said, if he's coming home late and so forth, then there is possibly a problem with the relationship.

Jeepz

[Pablo H]

Oriantal2000,

I have a problem with my girlfriend about this, I know she loves me but it really does drive me crazy when she gets jealous all the time. I dont view porno web sites or anything like that but we are on the verge of splitting up as I cannot live with someone so obessesive anymore.

I think you should turn a blind eye to you husbands internet "hobbies" or you will risk losing him.

[Oriantal2000]

I have found the jealous from Thai Farang Board.

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Since the issue of jealousy from Thai girlfriends and wives has come up numerous times, I will point to a popular song by Parn Thanaporn for some insight into the possible mentality we are dealing with. Hopefully, the text comes out OK.

NSG

This song is called "rueang ngai ngai (tee poo-chai mai roo)" from the album True Story - ความรัก/ผู้ชาย/ปลาย่าง.

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สิ่งที่เธอได้เห็นบางวัน มุมที่ฉันไม่น่าชื่นชม

sing tee ter dai hen baang wun moom tee chun mai naa cheun chom

I know the way you've seen me act sometimes doesn't make you happy.

คนเจ้าน้ำตาคนเจ้าอารมณ์ ผู้หญิงเอาแต่ใจ

kon jao nam dtaa kon jao ar-rom poo ying ao dtae jai

When I'm quick to break into tears, quick to get angry and don't care what you think.

คอยพูดจาประชดประชัน คอยเจ้ากี้เจ้าการวุ่นวาย

koi poot jaa braa chot braa chun koi jao gee jao gaan woon wai

Always making sarcastic comments, interfering and making a fuss about things.

ชอบทำเรื่องเล็กให้เป็นเรื่องใหญ่ ไม่รู้อะไรหนักหนา

chorp tam reuang lek hai ben reuang yai mai roo a-rai nuk naa

And making a big deal out of nothing.

โกรธไม่มีเหตุผลใดๆ ไม่ว่าใครเข้ามาพูดจา

grot mai mee het pon dai dai mai waa krai kao maa poot jaa

I know there's no reason to, but I get angry if someone comes round to see you.

หงุดหงิดทุกทีที่โทรเข้ามา มีใครคุยกับเธอ

ngoot ngit took tee tee tor kao maa mee krai koo-ee gup ter

And get irritated when there's someone who calls to talk to you.

ต้องคอยถามไปไหนเมื่อไร อยู่กับใครไม่มาให้เจอ

dtong koi taam bai nai meua rai yoo gup krai mai maa hai jer

And I always ask you where you've been, with who and why didn't you come and see me.

ต้องตอกต้องย้ำทุกคำนะเออ ไม่ไว้ใจเธอสักที

dtong dtork dtong yam took kam na eer mai wai jai ter suk tee

Making you endlessly repeat yourself anytime I don't trust you.

เมื่อเธอสงสัยในสิ่งที่ฉันทำ

meua ter song sai nai sing tee chun tam

If you're suspicious about why I act the way I do.

ขอตอบเธอด้วยคำถาม คำหนึ่งตรงนี้

kor dtorb ter duay kam taam kam neung dtrong nee

I'll answer you with this question...

หากไม่รักจะห่วงไหม จะหวงทำไมตอบฉันสิ

haak mai ruk ja huang mai ja huang tam mai dtorb chun see

If I didn't love you, would I be acting like this? Why else would I be jealous?

ที่ต้องระแวงอยู่ทุกนาที อย่าคิดว่ามันไม่เหนื่อยใจ

tee dtong ra waeng yoo took naa-tee yaa kit waa mun mai neuay jai

If you always make me worry about everything, don't think it doesn't get tiring.

ผู้หญิงคนหนึ่งไม่มีเหตุผล แต่ก็ทำเพื่อใครสักคนด้วยใจ

poo ying kon neung mai mee het pon dtae gor tam puea krai suk kon duay jai

But whether it's right or not, a woman will do anything for the one she loves.

ความรักอยู่เหนือคำว่าทำไม

kwarm ruk yoo nuea kam waa tam mai

Because love is more important than any doubts they have.

ทั้งที่เป็นแค่เรื่องง่ายๆ แต่ผู้ชายไม่เคยรู้เลย

tung tee ben kae reuang ngai ngai dtae poo chai mai ker-ee roo ler-ee

Even though it's just a simple fact, it's one men have never understood.

สิ่งที่เธอได้เห็นบางวัน มุมที่ฉันไม่น่าชื่นชม

sing tee ter dai hen baang wun moom tee chun mai naa cheun chom

I know the way you've seen me act sometimes doesn't make you happy.

คนเจ้าน้ำตาคนเจ้าอารมณ์ ผู้หญิงเอาแต่ใจ

kon jao nam dtaa kon jao ar-rom poo ying ao dtae jai

When I'm quick to break into tears, quick to get angry and don't care what you think.

แต่อย่างน้อยผู้หญิงคนเดิม คนที่คอยเป็นตัววุ่นวาย

dtae yaang noi poo ying kon derm kon tee koi ben dtua woon wai

But at least, this woman who always makes a fuss about every little thing.

ก็เลือกจะรักและวางหัวใจ เอาไว้ที่เธอผู้เดียว

gor leuak ja ruk lae waang hua jai ao wai tee ter poo dee-o

She's chosen to love you, and give her heart to you alone.

(Interlude)

เมื่อเธอสงสัยในสิ่งที่ฉันทำ

meua ter song sai nai sing tee chun tam

If you're suspicious about why I act the way I do.

ขอตอบเธอด้วยคำถาม คำหนึ่งตรงนี้

kor dtorb ter duay kam taam kam neung dtrong nee

I'll answer you with this question...

หากไม่รักจะห่วงไหม จะหวงทำไมตอบฉันสิ

haak mai ruk ja huang mai ja huang tam mai dtorb chun see

If I didn't love you, would I be acting like this? Why else would I be jealous?

ที่ต้องระแวงอยู่ทุกนาที อย่าคิดว่ามันไม่เหนื่อยใจ

tee dtong ra waeng yoo took naa-tee yaa kit waa mun mai neuay jai

If you always make me worry about everything, don't think it doesn't get tiring.

ผู้หญิงคนหนึ่งไม่มีเหตุผล แต่ก็ทำเพื่อใครสักคนด้วยใจ

poo ying kon neung mai mee het pon dtae gor tam puea krai suk kon duay jai

But whether it's right or not, a woman will do anything for the one she loves.

ความรักอยู่เหนือคำว่าทำไม

kwarm ruk yoo nuea kam waa tam mai

Because love is more important than any doubts they have.

ทั้งที่เป็นแค่เรื่องง่ายๆ แต่ผู้ชายไม่เคยรู้เลย

tung tee ben kae reuang ngai ngai dtae poo chai mai ker-ee roo ler-ee

Even though it's just a simple fact, it's one men have never understood.

สิ่งที่เธอได้เห็นบางวัน มุมที่ฉันไม่น่าชื่นชม

sing tee ter dai hen baang wun moom tee chun mai naa cheun chom

I know the way you've seen me act sometimes doesn't make you happy.

คนเจ้าน้ำตาคนเจ้าอารมณ์ ผู้หญิงเอาแต่ใจ

kon jao nam dtaa kon jao ar-rom poo ying ao dtae jai

When I'm quick to break into tears, quick to get angry and don't care what you think.

ฉันรักเธอแค่เรื่องง่ายๆ แต่ทำไมเธอไม่รู้เลย

chun ruk ter kae ruang ngai ngai dtae tam mai ter mai roo ler-ee

I love you, it's just a simple fact but why don't you know it?

[Oriantal2000]

Make him stya in his room for 1 month and take away his internet card. Then beat him for about an hour with a good sized piece of wood. That should fix him.

Hi IT

I don't think I can do that.

[tomy]

try wearing this and walking around him and see what's his reaction, if nothing happen you're in deep poopoo.

[Oriantal2000]

Viewing porn websites occasionally should not be much of a problem as I think most men do, but if it becomes an obession then he has a problem.

Chatting up in dating sites just for fun is ok, but if he starts dating them, this is the second problem.

Hi Chuang

I understand that. I have done very well to not be TOO jealous to naked women. (Because I'm so ###### beautiful LOL ...kidding) It was long time ago we agreed with that. I like to see some pictures of handsome sexy guys on the net sometimes. (But get bored now)

Chatting....in the normal chat rooms or via Yahoo! messenger or MSN, I have never know which girls in this world he talk to. Never mind, he is mine and nobody can get in our house or call home.

Jeppz, the dating rooms is he new thing from me, I just know few days ago. It's still hurt my feeling today. Women are easy to get annoyed, jealous, and angry, have no reason somehow and I hope and I wish it will go away from my mind soon. I don’t want to keep this too long if I want the long term relationship.

Pablo H, sorry to hear that. It's very difficult to change our jealous things. You can NOT live with that, I understand. I found things, I jealous, I ask him, we talk and we ok. I don’t yell, cry or act like crazy. I'm sorry...should I deserve to lost my man because I'm jealous?

ThaiWoman

[Morgan]

I think your husband must enjoy your jealousy, its simple to delete cookies/files/history when finished on the net.

[Oriantal2000]

I think your husband must enjoy your jealousy, its simple to delete cookies/files/history when finished on the net.

He did deleted cookies/files/history but still...no secret in the world. I always find out.

[jjrbus]

While I do not know you welll enough to comment on your feelings, you are to be congradulated on knowing how you feel and realizing it is your problem and not his.I hope I can find a wife as wise as you. Talking about things like this with your friends or spiritual guides will help. Jim

[Nam Kao]

Thai Girl,

Reading that stuff is not normal.

My thai wife would take "big wood" (her words btw) and "box me big"

She's one heck of a wife other than that.

good luck

nam

[Davidcharles]

Jealousy is an awful feeling.....It eats away at your very guts.

You seem to be a lovely lady, and I would love to kick your guy's butt. He doesn't

deserve you sweetheart.

Maybe, YOU should make a point of looking at Porn and Chatting to fellas on the Net, just to see how he reacts......Give it try.

It should bring things to a head.

[Edward B]

Better still.....find out which chat site he is frequenting and his username and then secretly duck out to an internet cafe while he's on-line and chat with him, but do it anonymously. Choose a good username like "Bambi". .Just start with the occasional flirting, tell him your in town somewhere, and then go from there. After a week or two pretend that you saw him chatting one day and ask him: "So who's this Bambi then?". Might add a bit of spice back in your marriage.

Either that or he'll divorce you. Win - win situation I reckon.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

ORIANTAL Try explaining to him in every detail the principles regarding the Thai ' feeding the duck ' traditions. Explain in as much detail as you can

[ThaiAdventure]

ORIANTAL Try explaining to him in every detail the principles regarding the Thai ' feeding the duck ' traditions. Explain in as much detail as you can

Explain it to me!

[Edward B]

Oriental / ThaiWoman,

I just realised you are the same person but are using different usernames. So in my last post my reference to you being married to this guy was incorrect. Sorry about that. Doc, your advice was much better than mine (although somewhat less subtle) !

[dr_Pat_Pong]

I have to admit Edward, I have been told many times that subtle is something I am not. Heheheh I'll try harder. An explanation of the term might just focus him.

[francois]

Maybe, YOU should make a point of looking at Porn and Chatting to fellas on the Net, just to see how he reacts......Give it try.

hehe why not ...

give him back ..sweetly

[tomy]

I swear this post is like a teenager rat-hole, damm! get over it already, grow up for god sake, " OH he hurt my feeling doing this and this and this, im so sad, sad, sad, what should i do, do, do. " sound like the bitchhes i use to date when i was in highschool

[Please be advice wat-ever i write here is for joke purposes]

[Wei]

Gee that's a little bit mean. I think jealousy comes from uncertainty and insecurity. Sometimes the problem is not with the guy, its with us the girls. Its good to show that we are jealous once in a while to show how much we care and love the other person, but too much of it will eventually kill the relationship. Its easier said than done, but no one can make us feel secure except for ourselves. And being girls, sometimes we tend to want to think its our bfs that are driving us nuts. But most of the time, its not. If there is uncertainty and insecurity, then what good will the relationship bring in long run?

Then again, someone's grandma once said, never wait for any man, they are like buses, when one goes, the next will always arrive. hahahaa... good quote!

[monitorlizard]

An old Apache woman (mom of my friend) told my girlfriend at the time that

"jealousy was self-hatred."

I didn't think about it until now because I dismissed it years ago, probably because I didn't remember and I had a vicious hangover from partying with the woman's son at the time.

anyway, food for thought.

[Oriantal2000]

Maybe, YOU should make a point of looking at Porn and Chatting to fellas on the Net, just to see how he reacts......Give it try.

I don't think I should do the same thing back to him. It could NOT help to solve any problems. I have tried to do that before (get in to chat rooms but not chat, it's too boring for me) I left the history to see how does he act? BUT...he says...'No problems, it's ok you chatting and looking at Porn hahahah' Well, well, well...

[Oriantal2000]

' feeding the duck '

Dr. Pat Pong

He knows about this and I know he doesn't dare to do anything. If I find out and have the witness/pictures which he cheat on me or go for dating in real....mmmm... I will.... 'feeding the duck'

[Oriantal2000]

Oriental / ThaiWoman,

I just realised you are the same person but are using different usernames. So in my last post my reference to you being married to this guy was incorrect. Sorry about that. Doc, your advice was much better than mine (although somewhat less subtle) !

Edward B

Yes, I'm the same person who is curious abut LOVE. I made the check list and it can show that I'm happy to be with him 80% and 20% is unsure. We are working for our relationship at the moment and I think it goes well. A little detail, habits problems will pick up to talk by me. He HAVE TO stop go in to dating chat room!

I don't think it was incorrect to engage him but I'm still unsure to say YES when he ask for marry. We will see....

[Nat]

Gee that's a little bit mean. I think jealousy comes from uncertainty and insecurity. Sometimes the problem is not with the guy, its with us the girls. Its good to show that we are jealous once in a while to show how much we care and love the other person, but too much of it will eventually kill the relationship. Its easier said than done, but no one can make us feel secure except for ourselves. And being girls, sometimes we tend to want to think its our bfs that are driving us nuts. But most of the time, its not. If there is uncertainty and insecurity, then what good will the relationship bring in long run?

Then again, someone's grandma once said, never wait for any man, they are like buses, when one goes, the next will always arrive. hahahaa... good quote!

Well said Wei, couldn't agree with you more

[Oriantal2000]

I swear this post is like a teenager rat-hole, damm! get over it already, grow up for god sake, " OH he hurt my feeling doing this and this and this, im so sad, sad, sad, what should i do, do, do. " sound like the bitchhes i use to date when i was in highschool

[Please be advice wat-ever i write here is for joke purposes]

Tomy

Are you sick or something wrong with you?

hehehe just kidding

[Oriantal2000]

Gee that's a little bit mean. I think jealousy comes from uncertainty and insecurity. Sometimes the problem is not with the guy, its with us the girls. Its good to show that we are jealous once in a while to show how much we care and love the other person, but too much of it will eventually kill the relationship. Its easier said than done, but no one can make us feel secure except for ourselves. And being girls, sometimes we tend to want to think its our bfs that are driving us nuts. But most of the time, its not. If there is uncertainty and insecurity, then what good will the relationship bring in long run?

Then again, someone's grandma once said, never wait for any man, they are like buses, when one goes, the next will always arrive. hahahaa... good quote! 

Wei,

I agree with you some BUT it must be someone in this world that we can rely on, I think.

Anyway, I don't act like a stupid woman who scream screammmmm, yell yelllll or not listen what he try to explain. I’m really calm and easy talking. I do very well with this, I guess. Yes, being girly...girly... sometime cute BUT sometime we driving our boyfriends nut too!

Yes, they are (maybe) like buses, when one goes, the next will always arrive. BUT those buses (maybe) drive us to the wrong way. We've never know.

[Edward B]

I swear this post is like a teenager rat-hole, damm! get over it already, grow up for god sake, " OH he hurt my feeling doing this and this and this, im so sad, sad, sad, what should i do, do, do. " sound like the bitchhes i use to date when i was in highschool

[Please be advice wat-ever i write here is for joke purposes]

Tomy

Are you sick or something wrong with you?

hehehe just kidding

ThaiWoman,

Don't worry about Tomy. The beauty of forums like these is that you get advice from many different angles and points of view. Sometimes you get more than you need and sometimes you get views that you would never have thought of because you were not thinking straight at the time.

Your question about Tomy's mental state of health is still quite valid though, and may remain unanswered I suspect.