YanTree Posted March 27, 2010 Share Posted March 27, 2010 My maid stole from me, what can/should I do about it? How do I find a replacement? For the cynics who will tell me she did not steal from me - here is the proof: I've had my current maid for about 18 months. She was referred to me by her 'sister' who moved back to Isaan - her sister had been my maid for more than two years. In all this time I don't believe that either of them has ever stolen anything from me. I typically lock up my money but I have neglected to do so on many occasions, no issues. I'm a gadget freak and have lots of little gadgets worth $100 or more that they could have easily pocketed and I would not have noticed for a long time - never happened. So I trusted both of them. A friend started staying with me a couple weeks ago. The first time the maid cleaned he claimed to have had USD$85 in his wallet and was certain one $10 bill was missing. I blew him off, certain he had misplaced it and that my maid was trustworthy. The next time she came he claimed his extra wallet that was in a drawer had 4 one thousand Baht notes in it and when we got back it had 4 one hundred Baht notes. I remember him saying he was stashing that money there on our way out the door so unless he blatantly lied about this and acted out that whole thing, this should be valid. I still can't see her being so brazen as to think he would mistake THB 400 for THB 4,000 or to steal from me or my friend in the first place, but who knows. I also don't know why he would leave that much cash around when he was convinced my maid was a thief either, but whatever. So the next time she comes he has stacks of coins on my coffee table. I saw for myself the THB 10 coin stack had at least 30 coins. When we returned after she had worked it had four coins and a bunch of the THB 5 coins were gone too. This one I'm pretty certain happened and I saw it myself. However she never stole from me on any of these visits and she has never stolen from me to my knowledge so I still wanted to be 100% certain before doing anything. So yesterday I knew she was coming and when she came I asked my friend for his spare wallet. I put two THB 1,000 notes, 1 THB 500 note, 2 THB 100 notes and 3 THB 20 notes in a random order and folded them together and put them inside - I then placed it in the same drawer he had it in before and we left my condo. I then came back to the condo later before him (he decided to get a massage on the way home) and she was gone - the wallet was short 160 THB. Conclusive proof. I am certain she stole from that wallet. The question is, what do I do about it? I'm going to be lost without a maid and she does a great job - but I can't keep one around who steals from me. So how do I replace her? Should I confront her about it? Can the police do anything, is it worth it to call them? Thanks for any advice or tips -and tell us your maid stealing stories if you have any Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YanTree Posted March 27, 2010 Author Share Posted March 27, 2010 Also: She has a key to my condo, should I change the locks? I thought about this as a passive way of firing her. Just change the locks and ignore her when she starts knocking on the door and ignore her phone calls. She should get the message pretty quickly and should be able to put 2 and 2 together after having stolen from me. Confronting her, while cathartic, I can't see as leading anywhere. Nobody would ever admit to theft, so what is the point? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carmine Posted March 27, 2010 Share Posted March 27, 2010 Tell her you don't need a maid anymore and get rid of her. Better to do the cleaning yourself for a short while than have a thief in your house...or am i missing something Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neverdie Posted March 27, 2010 Share Posted March 27, 2010 I agree with Carmine. I doubt the Police are going to get too excited about all of this and its just going to get messy. I feel your friend may have made a mistake with the 1000 baht bills actually being 100 baht ones, perhaps/maybe. Tell her you cant afford a maid anymore as someone has stolen your savings.....make herself think she has shot herself in the foot. end of story. wait a week or a day and get a new maid, then be prepared to go thru it all again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jingthing Posted March 27, 2010 Share Posted March 27, 2010 I would not call the police. I would not even confront her. I would say, to add some irony, I no longer have enough money to pay for a maid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokie36 Posted March 27, 2010 Share Posted March 27, 2010 Explain her wages are dropping 160 Baht this month. She should get the message. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YanTree Posted March 27, 2010 Author Share Posted March 27, 2010 lol I love the subtle hints you guys are suggesting - that is such a Thai way to handle it. She will know they are all bullshit, she knows I can afford it. But perhaps that will make them even better Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Who, me ? Posted March 27, 2010 Share Posted March 27, 2010 ......and change the locks ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whiterussian Posted March 27, 2010 Share Posted March 27, 2010 Get a mini cam recording gadget.. 1000 baht a good excuse to buy another gadget! Or just set up a webcam with screen unplugged. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keestha Posted March 27, 2010 Share Posted March 27, 2010 Don't confront her, it would be loss of face for her and she could become very nasty. Reporting to the police wouldn't do you any good. Just fire her, saying you simply can't afford a housekeeper anymore. Then after a week or so start looking for a new housekeeper. Finding one won't be difficult, just ask any Thai person you know (or possibly a foreigner who has been living here for a long time) if they know anybody who would be interested. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThailandTommy Posted March 27, 2010 Share Posted March 27, 2010 That is typical ‘Thai style’ they almost never take everything, the bottom line is no matter how satisfied you are with her work or how difficult it will be to replace her, she is a thief. Under these circumstances, getting the police involved will not serve any purpose as it will be your word against hers, you could of course mark some notes or withdraw some notes with consecutive numbers, set her up and catch her red handed. If you pay her monthly I would wait until the end of the month then tell her that you know she has been stealing, tell her to piss off and withhold full/part payment, adding that if she don’t like it you will call the police. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samuibeachcomber Posted March 27, 2010 Share Posted March 27, 2010 seems like she has been quite clever,only taking little bits at a time.Could you afford to pay her more money then maybe the thieving will stop(SAID TONGUE IN CHEEK) It probably is such a temptation for them when they see easy money lying around knowing it takes them so long to earn it themselves.Better to never leave valuables around ever.Not condoning what she may have done,but out of sight,out of mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jingthing Posted March 27, 2010 Share Posted March 27, 2010 (edited) You could say you have been listening to Khun Thaksin about class warfare and don't want an enemy in your house so have decided to replace her with a Hiso maid (at 20 times her salary, natch). Edited March 27, 2010 by Jingthing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neverdie Posted March 27, 2010 Share Posted March 27, 2010 I agree with Carmine. I doubt the Police are going to get too excited about all of this and its just going to get messy. I feel your friend may have made a mistake with the 1000 baht bills actually being 100 baht ones, perhaps/maybe.Tell her you cant afford a maid anymore as someone has stolen your savings.....make herself think she has shot herself in the foot. end of story. wait a week or a day and get a new maid, then be prepared to go thru it all again. I would not call the police. I would not even confront her. I would say, to add some irony, I no longer have enough money to pay for a maid. This is scary JT, we actually thought exactly the same thing @ the same time, just my fingers are 2 seconds faster than yours Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samuian Posted March 27, 2010 Share Posted March 27, 2010 change the lock, dno't make a big fuzz n tell her it's over.... new cleaner is comin, you prefer males anyway... or some story like it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soutpeel Posted March 27, 2010 Share Posted March 27, 2010 Don't confront her, it would be loss of face for her and she could become very nasty. This is a good insight in why Thailand, the way it is....no responsibilty or accountability....she is a suspected thief.... If the OP does not believe the police is appropriate in the in this case ( I agree, not worth getting the BiB involved) Just tell her you cant afford her any more, move her on and change the locks... or You could do what Mrs Soutpeel did when she caught our housekeeper with the hand in the till, so to speak...grabbed her by the scruff of neck and threw her out with the suggestion if she ever came back, Mrs Soutpeel's .38 would be coming out of her hand bag... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neverdie Posted March 27, 2010 Share Posted March 27, 2010 change the lock, dno't make a big fuzz n tell her it's over.... new cleaner is comin, you prefer males anyway... or some story like it... Who are you talking to, yan tree or jingthing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samran Posted March 27, 2010 Share Posted March 27, 2010 I confronted our maid. Then sacked her. Held her ID card until she returned stuff which she had not managed to flog off to the pawn shop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanook2me Posted March 27, 2010 Share Posted March 27, 2010 Can you write a letter of not needing her anymore and ask your friend to give it to her and you go on holiday for a few days?? Job done. Change the locks sure.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neverdie Posted March 27, 2010 Share Posted March 27, 2010 Don't confront her, it would be loss of face for her and she could become very nasty. This is a good insight in why Thailand, the way it is....no responsibilty or accountability....she is a suspected thief.... If the OP does not believe the police is appropriate in the in this case ( I agree, not worth getting the BiB involved) Just tell her you cant afford her any more, move her on and change the locks... or You could do what Mrs Soutpeel did when she caught our housekeeper with the hand in the till, so to speak...grabbed her by the scruff of neck and threw her out with the suggestion if she ever came back, Mrs Soutpeel's .38 would be coming out of her hand bag... bad idea, maybe mrs cleaner is packing and her real .38 might fire real bullets as opposed to Mrs Soutpeels imaginary one. i feel its a good idea to leave firearm comments well out of conversations with thais. call me a coward, if u like Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YanTree Posted March 27, 2010 Author Share Posted March 27, 2010 grabbed her by the scruff of neck and threw her ou I would obviously not mind doing something like this but it seems like more potential trouble than it is worth. When I moved about 9 months ago her, her husband and her 'brother' helped me move. I would not enjoy an angry visit from those two dudes, lets put it that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soutpeel Posted March 27, 2010 Share Posted March 27, 2010 You could say you have been listening to Khun Thaksin about class warfare and don't want an enemy in your house so have decided to replace her with a Hiso maid (at 20 times her salary, natch). Yummy....only one concern....where is her feather duster ?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YanTree Posted March 27, 2010 Author Share Posted March 27, 2010 I confronted our maid. Then sacked her. Held her ID card until she returned stuff which she had not managed to flog off to the pawn shop. I'm not missing anything other than money. And she has never actually (to my knowledge) stolen anything from me - she thought it was from my friend. Interesting to note that he has been a dick to her from day 1 and I have always been nice to her. Som nom na? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soutpeel Posted March 27, 2010 Share Posted March 27, 2010 Don't confront her, it would be loss of face for her and she could become very nasty. This is a good insight in why Thailand, the way it is....no responsibilty or accountability....she is a suspected thief.... If the OP does not believe the police is appropriate in the in this case ( I agree, not worth getting the BiB involved) Just tell her you cant afford her any more, move her on and change the locks... or You could do what Mrs Soutpeel did when she caught our housekeeper with the hand in the till, so to speak...grabbed her by the scruff of neck and threw her out with the suggestion if she ever came back, Mrs Soutpeel's .38 would be coming out of her hand bag... bad idea, maybe mrs cleaner is packing and her real .38 might fire real bullets as opposed to Mrs Soutpeels imaginary one. i feel its a good idea to leave firearm comments well out of conversations with thais. call me a coward, if u like I can assure you Mrs Soutpeel's .38 is very real, as are the bullets..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gravion Posted March 27, 2010 Share Posted March 27, 2010 sucker free city Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YanTree Posted March 27, 2010 Author Share Posted March 27, 2010 Can you write a letter of not needing her anymore and ask your friend to give it to her and you go on holiday for a few days??Job done. Change the locks sure.... I am not going on holiday for a few days so that I can passively fire my maid. If I am so lazy as to need somebody to do my dishes for me then I am certainly too lazy to be doing this. So far I like telling her that I cannot afford a maid anymore. Or maybe I will say my friend has agreed to do her job. That would probably piss her off even more than the obvious lie that I cannot afford it - he stole her job! LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neverdie Posted March 27, 2010 Share Posted March 27, 2010 ^its a scary prospect that people like mrs soutpeel are pack'n .....no intended offence directed at ur misses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soutpeel Posted March 27, 2010 Share Posted March 27, 2010 sucker free city Started early on the booze today have we ?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WarpSpeed Posted March 27, 2010 Share Posted March 27, 2010 (edited) Ask her for your key back first and tell her you are getting the locks changed because you lost one and now your concerned and you'll get her a new key once they're changed, then no need to change them as she has had no advance notice to have a new one made and if she made one previously now she'll think it no longer works anyways.. Then a day or two later so she disassociates, let her go and tell her like some have said, that you can no longer afford a maid because money has been disappearing that was intended for her salary without pointing directly to her and be done with it. Edited March 27, 2010 by WarpSpeed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
p_brownstone Posted March 27, 2010 Share Posted March 27, 2010 Just how trustworthy is your serially unlucky friend who has money stolen from him whenever he stays with you but - apparently - you, yourself, have never lost anything? Just my own feeling, but perhaps your friend is up to someting and blaming the Maid Patrick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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