How Thai Girls And Thai's In General Think?

[473geo]

The recipe I've used for most of my life in all relationships, male or female, is meeting people 'halfway'. If you have to continually go beyond that point then the relationship won't last. If you expect and demand that your girlfriend, wife, etc., meet you at 'your level' because you're paying the bills, you're more intelligent, etc., etc., then the relationship is doomed.

Since most westerner's are better educated and consequently have a better income we can hardly expect someone with a lot less education to come up to our level of experience & understanding.

Living with a Thai woman isn't easy and the more rigid you are the less chance of success you'll have. Trying to 'understand' someone else and why they think the way they do, in my opinion, is a waste of time....making an honest effort to meet halfway, and going a bit beyond, will allow the other to do the same....after 16 years with the same girl this has worked for me.

It's easier & possible for us to meet them closer to their level and impossible for them to come up to our level of understanding since they didn't go to the same schools or grow up in the environment we did....so expecting and demanding that she understand your way of thinking is a dead end......just my humble opinion

A good balanced viewpoint, also along your lines of thought. Do not try to change Thai girls to your way of thinking overnight. Lead by example, concentrate on the areas where you can make a difference, carefully, and build confidence in your thought process they can appreciate and copy. Let them notice how you do things, if they think it is good they will copy and learn. Do not tell people your way is better, show them, quietly and consistently.

I do not agree with the 'dead end' statement........patience and tolerance will get you a long way........and one small additional piece of advice...........just take a moment to step outside yourself, and observe, make an honest assessment, if you were looking to make a long term relationship with the person you are now, what would you be likely to require on the personality front.........maybe a few changes.. are you guys perfect?..........or maybe what they see is what they get?..........som nam na

[wayne78]

Its been said a thousand times before. If you want a relationship with a Thai you had better find a real middle class one.

The working classes in Thailand are basically brainwashed from a very early age to believe Thailand is the best country in the world, and their people, ways and beliefs are superior. You will not change them. This type of state brainwashing gives them a sense of belonging and makes them good workers keeping the higher classes well fed.

If you want a relationship with a Thai better choose a middle class one... and no i done mean one who "is not a bar girl and works in a shop and has been to university".

Probably better luck looking in your own country for someone. But if you want a Thai lady.. you need to find a middle class one.

I agree that the lower class Thai is brainwashed from a very young age in very many ways however just what is Thai middle class?

Part of the problem that thailand currently faces is as a result of their education system and their society structure as a whole. No doubt about that. However as for Thai women, well they are, on the whole, a reflection of their society and thai values.

As long as a Thai can milk all and sundary including and especially farangs, they will because there is little moral impediment put in the way. It is seen largely as a national sport.

Beware.

[JRinger]

The recipe I've used for most of my life in all relationships, male or female, is meeting people 'halfway'. If you have to continually go beyond that point then the relationship won't last. If you expect and demand that your girlfriend, wife, etc., meet you at 'your level' because you're paying the bills, you're more intelligent, etc., etc., then the relationship is doomed.

Since most westerner's are better educated and consequently have a better income we can hardly expect someone with a lot less education to come up to our level of experience & understanding.

Living with a Thai woman isn't easy and the more rigid you are the less chance of success you'll have. Trying to 'understand' someone else and why they think the way they do, in my opinion, is a waste of time....making an honest effort to meet halfway, and going a bit beyond, will allow the other to do the same....after 16 years with the same girl this has worked for me.

It's easier & possible for us to meet them closer to their level and impossible for them to come up to our level of understanding since they didn't go to the same schools or grow up in the environment we did....so expecting and demanding that she understand your way of thinking is a dead end......just my humble opinion

A good balanced viewpoint, also along your lines of thought. Do not try to change Thai girls to your way of thinking overnight. Lead by example, concentrate on the areas where you can make a difference, carefully, and build confidence in your thought process they can appreciate and copy. Let them notice how you do things, if they think it is good they will copy and learn. Do not tell people your way is better, show them, quietly and consistently.

I do not agree with the 'dead end' statement........patience and tolerance will get you a long way........and one small additional piece of advice...........just take a moment to step outside yourself, and observe, make an honest assessment, if you were looking to make a long term relationship with the person you are now, what would you be likely to require on the personality front.........maybe a few changes.. are you guys perfect?..........or maybe what they see is what they get?..........som nam na

sounds like way too much work for me..'473geo'.and why do you want to change anyone? who gave you that right? can't you just relax and enjoy the fact that you are different and as Tomissan pointed out, meet her halfway?

Sounds more like you want to re-program her to suit you. "let them notice how you do things"? how can you avoid this? change her personality to fit your requirements?

Now I understand why there's so many "Dear Abbey" posts complaining of botched relationships....

Edited April 17, 2010 by JRinger

[473geo]

The recipe I've used for most of my life in all relationships, male or female, is meeting people 'halfway'. If you have to continually go beyond that point then the relationship won't last. If you expect and demand that your girlfriend, wife, etc., meet you at 'your level' because you're paying the bills, you're more intelligent, etc., etc., then the relationship is doomed.

Since most westerner's are better educated and consequently have a better income we can hardly expect someone with a lot less education to come up to our level of experience & understanding.

Living with a Thai woman isn't easy and the more rigid you are the less chance of success you'll have. Trying to 'understand' someone else and why they think the way they do, in my opinion, is a waste of time....making an honest effort to meet halfway, and going a bit beyond, will allow the other to do the same....after 16 years with the same girl this has worked for me.

It's easier & possible for us to meet them closer to their level and impossible for them to come up to our level of understanding since they didn't go to the same schools or grow up in the environment we did....so expecting and demanding that she understand your way of thinking is a dead end......just my humble opinion

A good balanced viewpoint, also along your lines of thought. Do not try to change Thai girls to your way of thinking overnight. Lead by example, concentrate on the areas where you can make a difference, carefully, and build confidence in your thought process they can appreciate and copy. Let them notice how you do things, if they think it is good they will copy and learn. Do not tell people your way is better, show them, quietly and consistently.

I do not agree with the 'dead end' statement........patience and tolerance will get you a long way........and one small additional piece of advice...........just take a moment to step outside yourself, and observe, make an honest assessment, if you were looking to make a long term relationship with the person you are now, what would you be likely to require on the personality front.........maybe a few changes.. are you guys perfect?..........or maybe what they see is what they get?..........som nam na

sounds like way too much work for me..'473geo'.and why do you want to change anyone? who gave you that right? can't you just relax and enjoy the fact that you are different and as Tomissan pointed out, meet her halfway?

Sounds more like you want to re-program her to suit you. "let them notice how you do things"? how can you avoid this? change her personality to fit your requirements?

Now I understand why there's so many "Dear Abbey" posts complaining of botched relationships....

You miss the point - if people notice how you do things and they concude it is a better way, they are more likely to adopt your actions. My relationship is fine thank you.... ..... and as for changing, let me give you an example. My wife chopped up the chicken legs and thighs with a cleaver, leaving sharp bone fragments in the soup!.....to me not ideal for the children, but so far no harm done......so next time I offered to make the soup she watched (to keep an eye on me doing it right! ) as I crushed the garlic, the way she had taught me, then continued to watch as I filleted the meat off the bones, and put the remaining whole bones into the soup. Next time she made the same soup - no fragments - I did not even have to mention 'what I do' she had worked out for herself it was the better way!!!

That is the only change I think in the last 5 years - everything else my intelligent wife does is just fine......so I based my comments on this experience - because it worked!!!

Man I must be some control freak and my relationship totally botched to go to such extremes!!!.....

[marquis22]

I have been married to a Thai woman for the past 18 yrs.

I still can't work her out.

It's very complicated. However, I will say that there are a number of obsrvations I can share:

1. Your wife/girlfriends group of friends will pick-and-choose the best bits of all the husbands/boyfriends and expect you to be all of those things.

2. They will often say how clever, handsome, hardworking, all of your friends are, but never tell you how ..clever, handsome, hardworking you, or the children are.

3.They will leave the stickers on expensive items!

4.They wont clean the house above shoulder hight.

5. They are incapable of organising anything.

6. They are obssesive about smells!

7. Everything is dirty!

I can't remeber why I'm still married, but....there must be something there!!!!

8. They take you to the expensive restaurant in town and order four or five dishes and eat only two or three!!

[a2396]

I have been married to a Thai woman for the past 18 yrs.

I still can't work her out.

It's very complicated. However, I will say that there are a number of obsrvations I can share:

1. Your wife/girlfriends group of friends will pick-and-choose the best bits of all the husbands/boyfriends and expect you to be all of those things.

2. They will often say how clever, handsome, hardworking, all of your friends are, but never tell you how ..clever, handsome, hardworking you, or the children are.

3.They will leave the stickers on expensive items!

4.They wont clean the house above shoulder hight.

5. They are incapable of organising anything.

6. They are obssesive about smells!

7. Everything is dirty!

I can't remeber why I'm still married, but....there must be something there!!!!

8. They take you to the expensive restaurant in town and order four or five dishes and eat only two or three!!

That's for Farang suckers. Hopefully, no one would put up with that for 18 years, let alone 18 days. I had that pulled on me a couple of times. Now, they go to my choice of restaurant, if I am paying, which is always.

[Soutpeel]

The recipe I've used for most of my life in all relationships, male or female, is meeting people 'halfway'. If you have to continually go beyond that point then the relationship won't last. If you expect and demand that your girlfriend, wife, etc., meet you at 'your level' because you're paying the bills, you're more intelligent, etc., etc., then the relationship is doomed.

Since most westerner's are better educated and consequently have a better income we can hardly expect someone with a lot less education to come up to our level of experience & understanding.

Living with a Thai woman isn't easy and the more rigid you are the less chance of success you'll have. Trying to 'understand' someone else and why they think the way they do, in my opinion, is a waste of time....making an honest effort to meet halfway, and going a bit beyond, will allow the other to do the same....after 16 years with the same girl this has worked for me.

It's easier & possible for us to meet them closer to their level and impossible for them to come up to our level of understanding since they didn't go to the same schools or grow up in the environment we did....so expecting and demanding that she understand your way of thinking is a dead end......just my humble opinion

Well said. This has worked for me also but with some modification according to the situation.Thai culture of course differs from the west. I must also add that in my experience it works this way with Thai females all across the socioeconomic classes,not just those who are less well off financially or with less education than we may have. In the last 20 years I have had very serious relationships with three Thai females.All very different in many ways. The first a very less wealthy & less educated young cute Thai girl for a short period whose family are rice farmers from Ubon Ratchattani. The second one for ten years ,referred to by Thai's as "HiSo". A very attractive educacted abroad Chinese Thai who's families wealth is exceptionally enormous by western standards and far more than mine,even though I've accumulated IMHO likely more wealth than then 99.9 % + of most westerners ,although starting from very humble beginnings.Kids of my generartion usually didn't know when they were "financially disadvantaged". The final Thai female is my current wife. I finally got lucky for once! Introduced by a mutual friend. Just an acquaintance (spelling ?)at first .It was a still a long period by western standards before becoming her "boy friend". If the girl excepts you fast be aware and open your eyes ...& use your head & not your emotions! Getting into the realationship with my current wife was even longer than with the former HiSo Thai female whom I first met in the states and whose family took about 3 years before excepting me in to their traditional Chinese family as a farang member. They then accepted & admired me as a person & for what I am, a doctor, someone who can think some what like a Thai( their opinion not mine) and some what for some business acumen as also being at the time in the footware & garment manufacturing industry in Thailand. Also go slower in establishing a relationship with a Thai female if you are looking for some one you would want to present to your friends and family. They will see your fast advances as some what aggressive although you will not be told.Then the third and my current & final wife. For the last ten years, my Thai wife, a very caring,great wife and mom is a middle class Thai. A graduate of Chiang Mai Universty & MBA from the states. We have two great children. Her family members are average working for a living Thai middle class people,be they teachers,in the medical field,with positions in small or large companies or as traditionally in her family military officers like her Dad and my brother in law Generals in the Royal Thai Air Force. It has not always been easy to live with any of the three. One must respect others feelings ,beliefs,culture and not have an attitude of intolerence in my opinion. One must be polite,respectful, open minded ,caring & understanding of others feelings, emotions, beliefs & culture or you will not get to 1st base yet alone make a home run with any Thai female except perhaps (?) if lucky a short term unbalanced relationship with a bar girl. In return your Thai girl friend will do the same and you may eventually have a happy relationship & marriage. It has worked for me. Actually their are alot of very good Thai woman here. Get to know the real Thai people if you are able too...Thai social activities, The Thai Society( on soi Asoke) membership ,etc..they will not set you up with anyone but you may accidently meet some one really great that way.

drbill, may i humbly suggest you take a course in written English, as in English it is customary that we include paragraphs in our prose, which stops people getting headaches, Granted a pseuo-thai such as yourself is most likely used to writing in Thai, and will accept that it is the norm in Thai not include any paragraphs or breaks between words, but this is English you are communicating in..

[JRinger]

The recipe I've used for most of my life in all relationships, male or female, is meeting people 'halfway'. If you have to continually go beyond that point then the relationship won't last. If you expect and demand that your girlfriend, wife, etc., meet you at 'your level' because you're paying the bills, you're more intelligent, etc., etc., then the relationship is doomed.

Since most westerner's are better educated and consequently have a better income we can hardly expect someone with a lot less education to come up to our level of experience & understanding.

Living with a Thai woman isn't easy and the more rigid you are the less chance of success you'll have. Trying to 'understand' someone else and why they think the way they do, in my opinion, is a waste of time....making an honest effort to meet halfway, and going a bit beyond, will allow the other to do the same....after 16 years with the same girl this has worked for me.

It's easier & possible for us to meet them closer to their level and impossible for them to come up to our level of understanding since they didn't go to the same schools or grow up in the environment we did....so expecting and demanding that she understand your way of thinking is a dead end......just my humble opinion

A good balanced viewpoint, also along your lines of thought. Do not try to change Thai girls to your way of thinking overnight. Lead by example, concentrate on the areas where you can make a difference, carefully, and build confidence in your thought process they can appreciate and copy. Let them notice how you do things, if they think it is good they will copy and learn. Do not tell people your way is better, show them, quietly and consistently.

I do not agree with the 'dead end' statement........patience and tolerance will get you a long way........and one small additional piece of advice...........just take a moment to step outside yourself, and observe, make an honest assessment, if you were looking to make a long term relationship with the person you are now, what would you be likely to require on the personality front.........maybe a few changes.. are you guys perfect?..........or maybe what they see is what they get?..........som nam na

sounds like way too much work for me..'473geo'.and why do you want to change anyone? who gave you that right? can't you just relax and enjoy the fact that you are different and as Tomissan pointed out, meet her halfway?

Sounds more like you want to re-program her to suit you. "let them notice how you do things"? how can you avoid this? change her personality to fit your requirements?

Now I understand why there's so many "Dear Abbey" posts complaining of botched relationships....

You miss the point - if people notice how you do things and they concude it is a better way, they are more likely to adopt your actions. My relationship is fine thank you.... ..... and as for changing, let me give you an example. My wife chopped up the chicken legs and thighs with a cleaver, leaving sharp bone fragments in the soup!.....to me not ideal for the children, but so far no harm done......so next time I offered to make the soup she watched (to keep an eye on me doing it right! ) as I crushed the garlic, the way she had taught me, then continued to watch as I filleted the meat off the bones, and put the remaining whole bones into the soup. Next time she made the same soup - no fragments - I did not even have to mention 'what I do' she had worked out for herself it was the better way!!!

That is the only change I think in the last 5 years - everything else my intelligent wife does is just fine......so I based my comments on this experience - because it worked!!!

Man I must be some control freak and my relationship totally botched to go to such extremes!!!.....

Ok....didn't realize you were talking about chicken soup, your earlier response hinted at other things.....I didn't see the chicken bones between the lines and your example was good, fair and to the point....and I wasn't referring to your relationship but to those who don't eat enough chicken soup....

[sarahsbloke]

I've accumulated IMHO likely more wealth than then 99.9 % + of most westerners

I'm sure you will be very popular with most Thai ladies!

As foreigner's we're allowed/expected to make mistakes so where's the minefield? and nothing complicated about it at all.

I always like to ask people who think like this, how much Thai can you read and write?

I have always found Thais to be extremely unforgiving about cultural mistakes made by foreigners, but then I'm careful not to make them.

(try wearing your shoes inside a Thai house, see how forgiving they are)

(try putting your arms round a respectable Thai woman while dancing, see how forgiving everyone is)

Edited April 17, 2010 by sarahsbloke

[JRinger]

The recipe I've used for most of my life in all relationships, male or female, is meeting people 'halfway'. If you have to continually go beyond that point then the relationship won't last. If you expect and demand that your girlfriend, wife, etc., meet you at 'your level' because you're paying the bills, you're more intelligent, etc., etc., then the relationship is doomed.

Since most westerner's are better educated and consequently have a better income we can hardly expect someone with a lot less education to come up to our level of experience & understanding.

Living with a Thai woman isn't easy and the more rigid you are the less chance of success you'll have. Trying to 'understand' someone else and why they think the way they do, in my opinion, is a waste of time....making an honest effort to meet halfway, and going a bit beyond, will allow the other to do the same....after 16 years with the same girl this has worked for me.

It's easier & possible for us to meet them closer to their level and impossible for them to come up to our level of understanding since they didn't go to the same schools or grow up in the environment we did....so expecting and demanding that she understand your way of thinking is a dead end......just my humble opinion

Well said. This has worked for me also but with some modification according to the situation.Thai culture of course differs from the west. I must also add that in my experience it works this way with Thai females all across the socioeconomic classes,not just those who are less well off financially or with less education than we may have. In the last 20 years I have had very serious relationships with three Thai females.All very different in many ways. The first a very less wealthy & less educated young cute Thai girl for a short period whose family are rice farmers from Ubon Ratchattani. The second one for ten years ,referred to by Thai's as "HiSo". A very attractive educacted abroad Chinese Thai who's families wealth is exceptionally enormous by western standards and far more than mine,even though I've accumulated IMHO likely more wealth than then 99.9 % + of most westerners ,although starting from very humble beginnings.Kids of my generartion usually didn't know when they were "financially disadvantaged". The final Thai female is my current wife. I finally got lucky for once! Introduced by a mutual friend. Just an acquaintance (spelling ?)at first .It was a still a long period by western standards before becoming her "boy friend". If the girl excepts you fast be aware and open your eyes ...& use your head & not your emotions! Getting into the realationship with my current wife was even longer than with the former HiSo Thai female whom I first met in the states and whose family took about 3 years before excepting me in to their traditional Chinese family as a farang member. They then accepted & admired me as a person & for what I am, a doctor, someone who can think some what like a Thai( their opinion not mine) and some what for some business acumen as also being at the time in the footware & garment manufacturing industry in Thailand. Also go slower in establishing a relationship with a Thai female if you are looking for some one you would want to present to your friends and family. They will see your fast advances as some what aggressive although you will not be told.Then the third and my current & final wife. For the last ten years, my Thai wife, a very caring,great wife and mom is a middle class Thai. A graduate of Chiang Mai Universty & MBA from the states. We have two great children. Her family members are average working for a living Thai middle class people,be they teachers,in the medical field,with positions in small or large companies or as traditionally in her family military officers like her Dad and my brother in law Generals in the Royal Thai Air Force. It has not always been easy to live with any of the three. One must respect others feelings ,beliefs,culture and not have an attitude of intolerence in my opinion. One must be polite,respectful, open minded ,caring & understanding of others feelings, emotions, beliefs & culture or you will not get to 1st base yet alone make a home run with any Thai female except perhaps (?) if lucky a short term unbalanced relationship with a bar girl. In return your Thai girl friend will do the same and you may eventually have a happy relationship & marriage. It has worked for me. Actually their are alot of very good Thai woman here. Get to know the real Thai people if you are able too...Thai social activities, The Thai Society( on soi Asoke) membership ,etc..they will not set you up with anyone but you may accidently meet some one really great that way.

drbill, may i humbly suggest you take a course in written English, as in English it is customary that we include paragraphs in our prose, which stops people getting headaches, Granted a pseuo-thai such as yourself is most likely used to writing in Thai, and will accept that it is the norm in Thai not include any paragraphs or breaks between words, but this is English you are communicating in..

I had a time reading through his post as well, good post though, and if you understand doctors, they never write clearly or legibly. question: you had nothing at all to say in regards to his response to the subject at hand.....are you English? just curious and by no means being racist or unkind, just that I've seen this many times within the forum....

[JRinger]

I've accumulated IMHO likely more wealth than then 99.9 % + of most westerners

I'm sure you will be very popular with most Thai ladies!

As foreigner's we're allowed/expected to make mistakes so where's the minefield? and nothing complicated about it at all.

I always like to ask people who think like this, how much Thai can you read and write?

I have always found Thais to be extremely unforgiving about cultural mistakes made by foreigners, but then I'm careful not to make them.

(try wearing your shoes inside a Thai house, see how forgiving they are)

(try putting your arms round a respectable Thai woman while dancing, see how forgiving everyone is)

There you are folks, this is what makes the world go around....difference of opinion.....but you seem to be walking on pins & needles or hot coals.

I find most Thai's forgiving (most especially family & friends) depending on the situation and if there's no loss of face, but "cultural mistakes made by foreigner's", I don't think so. I've had friends visiting and forget to take their shoes off, no big deal, my wife doesn't yell at them or hold a grudge forever....

I'm not sure if you're a man or woman so not exactly sure how to address you.....but IMHO, you might consider substituting those pins, needles and coals with ice cubes.....or continue to live & believe whatever you want....

Edited April 17, 2010 by JRinger

[louialive]

Surely there are good and bad in all levels of society. Educated, wealthy etc is no guarantee of a supporting partner and best friend. That is what I have found in my Thai wife (she supporting and best friend). She is hard working, ambitious and likes to discuss the different way in how we see things due to cultural differences. She now takes the price tag off the bottom of shoes when I told it was not cool lol.

Yet she has a sister who is basically out to be supported by some falang guy, does not want to work unless she really needs to etc. Same up bringing etc why the difference in attitude

Are there any statistics to show that Falang/Thai relationships are different when the Thai girl moves to their partners country than when they live in Thailand?

The other thing we must be aware of is that the whole world is open to everyone to view because of the internet. So Thai girls see what the rest of the world lives like and if they feel what they see is better then some will do whatever to try and get a bit of it no matter what that entails. They are no different to ladies in the rest of the world.

Just use your head, be sensible and be careful. Remember there is the right someone out there for everyone. I have been through some pain in the past to find mine

[CrossBones]

Women are complicated and difficult to understand in any culture since their behavior is not based on logic

Thai culture is complicated and difficult to understand since it is not based on logic, or reasoning.

Put the two together and... well... its never boring!

[Soutpeel]

I find most Thai's forgiving (most especially family & friends) depending on the situation and if there's no loss of face, but "cultural mistakes made by foreigner's", I don't think so. I've had friends visiting and forget to take their shoes off, no big deal, my wife doesn't yell at them or hold a grudge forever....

Agreed...At times think Farangs read too much into this "Thai Cultural" thing...

Lest not forget the practical basis of the "taking the shoes off thing" in days gone by and guess even today...Khun Somchai in his paddy field and Mrs Somchai doesnt want mud trasped across her newly polished floor in the house.....

A lot of "Cultural norms" are based in practicality thats all...

[kevozman1]

Thai women are good in some ways and bad in others.

I love the fun vibe they give out, smiles, petite hot tanned bodies

and can be great company but ........... They can change and go from the

special one in your life to a scumbag like no other females on earth.

Dissapointing but true. Must say that going with other women after

Thai women can seem a dull alternative.

[lazygourmet]

Amazing 3 pages of reading... but now, that my spliff is finished, I am off to the "food thread"

[fanta rood]

Who do I never see a topic about what Thai men in general think? Or how nice the trees in Thailand are or the war between Burma and Thailand in the past? Thailands involvement in WO2?

Why is it always about girls?

[BlackArtemis]

If you want someone who acts like you then go after someone from a similar background. If you want to hold an intelligent conversation go find a girl who holds a degree or two and can speak English, or take the time to learn Thai.

If you don't want someone who looks at you as a moneybag then get someone who comes from a better background or has a job and has means to provide for themselves.

There seems to be a lot of complaining that X type of people are too different for me, I don't understand why someone from a completed different culture, educational, and socio-economical background is so different than myself! Oh well, I'll just grab the closest one and manipulate them into something that resembles what I am used to, but not understand when sparks fly.

[cognos]

How do Thai's think? with their brain

How do you feel? with your hands

what time is it? 10 to

ten to what?

tend to your own business

[JRinger]

Who do I never see a topic about what Thai men in general think? Or how nice the trees in Thailand are or the war between Burma and Thailand in the past? Thailands involvement in WO2?

Why is it always about girls?

Unfortunately we can only talk about the nice trees that WERE, not many around here since they've all been cut down for firewood or furniture, and what to say about Thai men?

Edited April 20, 2010 by JRinger

[sarahsbloke]

If you want someone who acts like you then go after someone from a similar background. If you want to hold an intelligent conversation go find a girl who holds a degree or two and can speak English, or take the time to learn Thai.

I disagree!

If I want someone who thinks or acts like me then we are talking about another western man.

I've pretty much found that the educational level of ANY other person I associate with is not relevent for any purpose (unless at work).

Edited April 20, 2010 by sarahsbloke

[davelec]

and don't bother to wai older people.

The wai issue is a total minefield, you must never initiate a wai with anyone below your social status .... makes you either low class or a fool.

I only initiate a wai to my mother-in-law, me being old and high-so means they have to start!

Most foreigners make a total ass of themselves with an inappropriate wai.

(If in doubt, don't do it)

What total Rubbish....a wai to anyone shows respect....of course the timing is important as when a child wai's you, you simply return the wai; if walking into a room with elders you 'initiate' the wai and also when leaving....."minefield", "fools"....hmmmm

You sound like one of the people who wai doorman and tuk tuk drivers-fools!

[JRinger]

and don't bother to wai older people.

The wai issue is a total minefield, you must never initiate a wai with anyone below your social status .... makes you either low class or a fool.

I only initiate a wai to my mother-in-law, me being old and high-so means they have to start!

Most foreigners make a total ass of themselves with an inappropriate wai.

(If in doubt, don't do it)

What total Rubbish....a wai to anyone shows respect....of course the timing is important as when a child wai's you, you simply return the wai; if walking into a room with elders you 'initiate' the wai and also when leaving....."minefield", "fools"....hmmmm

You sound like one of the people who wai doorman and tuk tuk drivers-fools!

If they or anyone 'wais' me, then I will instinctively 'wai' them back and I never ride in tuk tuks.

but the bottom line is: If you want to wai fine, if you don't want to, don't.....simple

Edited April 20, 2010 by JRinger

[Loz]

ROck On Black Artimis!

I don't think academic education is the key to finding kindred spirits though. You can graduate here and still be polar opposite from a western grad. Its the cuture-bred mindset that we are at odds with. People think maintaining thai culture means telling jonny foreigner that he is wrong and should leave thailand if he doesn't like the way will drag our flip flops along the floor instead of picking our feet up and walking western style.

Nobody could lead this horse to water and I'm past caring if it wants to drink. McDonalds and the Glue factory will ensure that at least it doesn't die in vain.

[IanForbes]

Who do I never see a topic about what Thai men in general think? Or how nice the trees in Thailand are or the war between Burma and Thailand in the past? Thailands involvement in WO2?

Why is it always about girls?

Unfortunately we can only talk about the nice trees that WERE, not many around here since they've all been cut down for firewood or furniture, and what to say about Thai men?

Not so. Chaing Mai and other Thai cities are FULL of trees that would have been cut down in any other city in the world. Thais LOVE their trees and plants.

Lots of topics about the war and the Bridge on the River Kwai in Kanchanaburi

[StreetCowboy]

Who do I never see a topic about what Thai men in general think? Or how nice the trees in Thailand are or the war between Burma and Thailand in the past? Thailands involvement in WO2?

Why is it always about girls?

There was a fascinating thread about ferrets...

SC

[JRinger]

Who do I never see a topic about what Thai men in general think? Or how nice the trees in Thailand are or the war between Burma and Thailand in the past? Thailands involvement in WO2?

Why is it always about girls?

Unfortunately we can only talk about the nice trees that WERE, not many around here since they've all been cut down for firewood or furniture, and what to say about Thai men?

Not so. Chaing Mai and other Thai cities are FULL of trees that would have been cut down in any other city in the world. Thais LOVE their trees and plants.

Lots of topics about the war and the Bridge on the River Kwai in Kanchanaburi

"around here" meaning Isaan. All (most) of the trees have been cut down so the rice can grow..or for fencing in cows or for firewood. I've watched them cut down trees for a long time, big one's too like Mai SamSa (monkey pod/wood), etc., etc.

My neighbor, a teacher at the local grade school was cutting down a nice shade tree behind us, when I asked him, "Why are you cutting the tree down", his response was, "the leaves go to my yard" . .....

[a2396]

Who do I never see a topic about what Thai men in general think? Or how nice the trees in Thailand are or the war between Burma and Thailand in the past? Thailands involvement in WO2?

Why is it always about girls?

There was a fascinating thread about ferrets...

SC

Thai girls are much more interesting than trees or ferrets, but to each their own.

[Jimi007]

I would have to say it's a learning curve. Quite steep at first! As an old friend of mine who speaks Thai fluently told me many years ago, you give them money to go away. It took me over four years here to find a woman here I truly love and she loves me. But I'm not rushing into marriage. We have been living together for over a year and I finally went and met her parents and went to see their family monk, who did a ceremony to see if we were compatible. We were very much so according to him, so I was accepted into their family and stayed at their house. Now when her mother calls, she always asks how I am, doesn't ask how she is. She gets a bit upset at that at times. Hehe. Learning to speak some Thai also helps.

So, it just takes time as with anything worth while and patience... It's also a different mind set, you have to adjust your expectations and way of thinking a bit... As it was said in the Wizard of Oz, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.

[gpdjohn]

Amazing 3 pages of reading... but now, that my spliff is finished, I am off to the "food thread"