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What I do not understand is why she ditched you for a younger woman?

Am I missing something??

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Dude, i have no idea what you just said.

OOKk,I thought was sure thats what you meant but a little levity never hurts in a situation like this,,,kinda looks like you got yourself in a tight here ol man,according to my wife who is an educated Thai,she said that if it is your kid,you will pay,they even do the blood thing to prove that you is the daddy and if need be they will put you ass in the can.and from what I hear a thai can is no place to be,but I hear that it is safer than an american can as they ain't got no big black dudes named LEROY gonna make mad passionate love to ya.

as the say here " ROSSA RUCK"

Ouch! thats not what I wanted to hear. Guess I've got to go down this road.

Nice farewell gift you got there. But it always takes two.

Only one way, sit down to find a settlement. Guess you are sure it was you, if not do the tests even if it hurts the feeling, which apparently no longer is there.

You want to stay here, must play the gentleman. Money it is for both the kid and punishment for your way....

Ummm, it's most likely that her family will want to get you to accept the responsibility to the baby. And if they are quite well off, they will probably have the means to prove the baby yours as well. If they want to that is.

Your choices (if you can call them that) are probably:

1) do the 'decent' thing and marry the girl, accept the baby and settle down, you've made your bed now so you've gotta lie in it.

2)if your relationship with the girl has already turned sour, perhaps there's another way. Tell her you will accept the baby as yours, be its dad whatever, but will not be her husband. They can't really force you to marry legally if you agreed to take responsibility for the baby in the first place. Really, Thai law doesn't give much protection to women getting pregnant outside the marriage in the same way as it may do in the West. They may be able to make you responsible for the kids legally once it is proved yours but it's not as if the system here works that well (I'm not suggesting anything. I think you should be responsible for your action, really). But if they are influential, they may have quite a few 'friends' who could make your life difficult. Now that is the real danger.

3)deny the baby is even yours and hope that they won't go through all the trouble & risk humiliation that the daughter is pregnant without being married (well, personally I think this is probably the most cowardice of all options, but it's your call). But if you choose to do this and they decided to call you bluff and go for it, you would probably be in an even deeper shit than before.

Abortion is illegal in Thailand although there are still some clinics who would do it. I wouldn't recommend this option. Besides, in the end of the day, it will be the woman who decides anyway.

Are you sure she will want you to be responsible? If the relationship had already turned sour and she does not 'need' to entrap you in anyway, perhaps she might not want you to be involved at all. But then again, she may understandably wnat her child to know its father if she decided to keep it.

There are many possibilities. She may even decided that since you sleep around when you were with her, you would not have been a good dad anyway and decided to exclude you from the baby's life.

On Pantip.com webboard, a Thai woman had just posted a topic that she is now pregnant by her boyfriend who she had broken up with. She was asking for oipnion whether to tell the baby's father or just keep it to herself as she doesn't want the guy in her life anyway. But for the sake of the baby, most people said she should at least let the dad knows as he has the right to. And if the guy decided to opt out of the kid's life then it's his choice. This lady maybe doing the same thing to you, who knows??

If you can read Thai, you can read the topic yourself at:

http://www.pantip.com/cafe/lumpini/topic/L...7/L2529187.html

you have been the dog, now do the decent thing by your unborn child and its mother. accepting the relationship has ended,offer financial support and offer to be there as a father. she may not want any of that. plenty of thai ladies seem to bring up children on their own,but probably not so many with her kind of background,especially a look kreung.

good luck.

Stop being a BigA..hole.

Take responsibility for your actions and provide financial support for YOUR child.

At least it will only put a dent in your pocket. Your ex has been lumberred with a life long comitment of time and emotions.

and watch out for passing motorcycles with two guys on it. One riding the bike, the other having you in his sights so to speak...boom. Don't push too hard You might be in more trouble than you think.

How do you know she is pregnant ?

Did she just tell you or have you personally been to the Doc ?

abortion may be illegal in thailand, but what is wrong with getting on a plane and going elsewhere?

and as thetym says..is she really pregnant? does she want to have a baby?

abortion may be illegal in thailand, but what is wrong with getting on a plane and going elsewhere?

and as thetym says..is she really pregnant? does she want to have a baby?

Why don’t you shoot your head off? That is better than this.. you know?

Don't want to sound harsh, but if the child is yours than time to grow up and take responsibilty for you actions.

abortion may be illegal in thailand, but what is wrong with getting on a plane and going elsewhere?

and as thetym says..is she really pregnant? does she want to have a baby?

Why don’t you shoot your head off? That is better than this.. you know?

keh??

I am not sure how you interpreted my reply kwiz....

I mean going to another country to have an abortion...

there are enough people on this planet with out unwanted children.

the choice is up to the woman...but if bigA is expected to contribute time and money he should have a say in the descision.

BigA, ever hear of AIDS, STDs, condoms??? Better safe than sorry.

abortion may be illegal in thailand, but what is wrong with getting on a plane and going elsewhere?

and as thetym says..is she really pregnant? does she want to have a baby?

Why don’t you shoot your head off? That is better than this.. you know?

keh??

I am not sure how you interpreted my reply kwiz....

I mean going to another country to have an abortion...

there are enough people on this planet with out unwanted children.

the choice is up to the woman...but if bigA is expected to contribute time and money he should have a say in the descision.

I see Abortion as a mean for a Man to do a crime and wash the hands without taking any responsibility.

If you commit an offence, then you have to pay for it. Sometimes people do things by mistake or sometimes they are insane. It does not matter.

Doing an Abortion for the interest of the Child in some extreme situations like rape, conjoined twins are something different and having as a result of unprotected sex is different.

Going to another country or having it hear..what is the difference? May be it will change illegal and legal. But it will not change unethical to ethical.

In my books, abortion is not a solution to run out from responsibilities. So better shoot himself, leaving all his Assets to his unborn innocent child.

That makes more sense to me.

the ethical issues vary from person to person, religion to religion.

why can I not consider a fetus to be a parasite living in a host?

calling it crime(homicide) seems more to try and bring it to an emotive level.

This is her body, her lifelong commitment, as a buddhist, I seriously doubt she will have an abortion.

However, want to point out one thing that people seem to have overlooked here is that she is the one that will have to live with the tag of being an unwed mother and it is the child who will grow up being a luk kleung bastard. Consider her feelings as well as your own, if you ever cared for her at all then you must care how her life as well as that of your own child will turn out. It is not just you that is affected here after all.

Or you could just pack your shit and split.

What ever you are comfortable doing, My self,I would have to think of the life of the child first and foremost.

If she was a hooker and had a short time and she said it was my kid,I ###### sure would split,but if you lived with her then it is more than that,but you have to make up your own mind..

as a buddhist, I seriously doubt she will have an abortion.

You must be joking?

I know many buddhist girls who regularly have abortions! The normal price is 1,500 baht - Not that I am advocating it.

as a buddhist, I seriously doubt she will have an abortion.

You must be joking?

I know many buddhist girls who regularly have abortions! The normal price is 1,500 baht - Not that I am advocating it.

I am a Buddhist..

but I also have seen and also have heard many girls do this in Thailand as well as in my Country.

All I know is that I am alive and will not approve any action against humanity unless it is fair to the unborn child.

Abortion should not be a weapon that can be used by Man to F*** any woman any time with or without the concent of her and then get away with it by distroying the unborn. It is not fair.

I'm in agreement with D80 here. You should live up to your responsibilities. I read responses about the mom and the father but what about the kid? He or she did not have any say in the matter and he/she is going to suffer the consequences.

Personally, you should stand up and be a man and take responsibility for your actions.

Personally, for the sake of the child you should marry the woman so the child will not be born out of wedlock. I am certain this carries a social stigma here.

Additionally, a child born out of wedlock (from man) will not get US citizenship. You can get the forms from the US Embassy and see the exact requirements. This is the same for the UK.

What are the benefits? You can stay in Thailand because you have a child here. Also, you can get quietly divorced after the child is born. This will have the added benefits of giving your child the chance of attending universities in the States as a resident. Also, if you have any social security benefits coming your way, then your child can get supplemental social security. The most important benefit is that you will have a beautiful son or daughter that can share and be part of your life.

Regarding the fianancial responsibilities, they are not so great here in Thailand. I am sure you can come to a compromise with the mother of your child and her family. I think a solution can be reached that will leave all parties satisified.

And what about your family in the states? Do they feel alright about an illegitimate son/daughter that they will never see? The point is that you need to think of all parties and not just you own.

What is the woman's family going to feel? They will have a daughter with an illegitimate child. They will certainly not be thrilled with this prospect.

If the relationship has indeed turned sour, you can still remain part of your child's life. I think the child will be eternally grateful for your effort.

It is very cowardly to say that if a woman chooses not do an abortion then you are relieved of your duties. Sorry, but it is a woman's body and the ethical choice is hers not yours. She will have to live with that decision the rest of her life. Note: I am not taking a stand on the morality of abortion. I am simply stating that if a woman refuses on religious or eithical grounds that you cannot blame her.

This may sound a little strange but the mans decision and rights come before conception and after birth of the child.

No one can tell you what to do but think hard about your actions. Whatever you decide it is going to have a life long effect on another human being.

Personally, I think that if she does keep the child and you decide to part of your sons/daughters life that it will have a profound positive effect on your life. For starters, you stop acting in a selfish manner. I am not being critical but it is true.

Once you hold and look in your son's or daughter's eyes you will understand what I mean here.

If you don't mind me asking....how old are you?

Whatever action you do decide to take, I can say for certainty that running away from the siutation will only harm you in the future. I am not talking about physical harm. You may feel regret later and I guarantee that if people ever did find out what you did, then their opinion of you will sink so low. Most people would not want to associate with you.

I am speaking from experience when a friend ran away from his responsibilites after getting a Swiss woman pregnant. I no longer have contact with him as do many of my other friends. Our opinion was one of shock and later one of disgust.

BigA...

If the child is yours, summon up all your courage and bear the responsibility, afterall you are the one that ditched her for a younger prettier Issan girl.

Probably one day you will ditch the Issan girl for another much prettier girl.

If you just want to have fun there are many night-joints where you can have a one-night stand. Don't get involved because there are always girls who are younger and much more beautiful than your own, if beauty is important to you.

Changing Partners...

FWIW, I have read this thread from about ten minutes after big "A" for ######, I assume, first posted it.

Since you missed a good part of the last 20 years, here is a good thig to put in a wallet with a condom.

If you boffed her, you weren't the first. If she got pregnant, you had sex with every man she has had before adn the ones who come after you will add you to that list.

I hear you saying she is a "good girl" MA etc., but you, Big A, are a ###### idiot. You are also a grub.

Have you heard of the human immuno virus? Do you know what it is?

Open www.google.com and type in HIV. If you are lucky you will get the results. If you are unlucky you will get the bug.

I have stopped telling people who get girls pregnant that they are stupid. I just go home to the results. If you want to see the results, you come to my village and I will show you.

Next time you want to wet your wick, you <deleted>, use a condom, then walk away from the results. You need someone to come along and beat you in the head for about n hour, and every belt they need to say "you are a ###### idiot...What are you...you are a ###### idiot"

Chaps, fellow admins, my enormous apologies, but as you know, this issue is too close to home to let it pass with a snide remark. The man needs his arse kicked. Now he got it... idiot.

QUOTE (sbk @ Mon 2003-11-10, 14:48:05)

as a buddhist, I seriously doubt she will have an abortion.

You must be joking?

I know many buddhist girls who regularly have abortions! The normal price is 1,500 baht - Not that I am advocating it.

She is not joking and is very much on target. Very few Thai girls of her standing would ever consider abortion and even fewer not regret it later. Sure, there are exceptions. But if you just look around you here in Thailand you will find the number of children without fathers in their life to be huge. If the mother does not take care of the child it is almost certain her parents will. Even the fathers parents. Abortion is not an option for most.

but what is wrong with getting on a plane and going elsewhere?

absolutely everything is wrong with that you pillock.

but what is wrong with getting on a plane and going elsewhere?

absolutely everything is wrong with that you pillock.

absolutely what would you be refering to?

I take it you disagree with something I said?

to the extent of calling me a dick?

got it in one stumonster.