Why Male Farangs Prefer Asian / Thai Partners

[cognos]

Headline from today's National Post in Canada: "CANADA'S FAST-RISING MIXED UNION FUTURE..but while mixed unions are growing fast, widespread acceptance is not"

"Out of 58,100 Southeast Asian couples, 33% are a mixed union"

..so its not just in Thailand where the farang man (and women) eminates towards the Thai, or Asian, for their partner.

Hundreds of thousands of men often come to places like Thailand, and other Asian countries, and end up with Thai and / or Asian women. Some have a plan to do it, others just find it happens. Most of these men are quite capable (despite much negative gossip to the contrary, and a general feeling in the western media that this is not so) of meeting (and maintaining long term relationships with) women of their own race ( caucasion ), especially when they are financially and emotionally stable, carry no huge baggage, are fit, happy, friendly and decent looking. They CHOOSE to prefer Thai / Asian women. WHY??

For my part, it is mainly a combination of a cultural thing, and admittedly I love the exotic looks. (Many farang women feel this way too about Asian men). This is in NO WAY a condemnation of farang women, as we are all a "victim" of our own culture to a more or lessor degree. The western culture has a way in the last 100 years of "evening out" farang males and females into very similar roles in society, to the point where asexual seems to be on the rise. In the west, you often hear young ladies call their friends.." hey guys.." We all copied the norm to some degree when we were young, so AGAIN, this is NOT a diss of western women, just observations on the evolution ( or lack thereof ) of feminism in various parts of the world, and the concomitant contrasting differences that are prime movers in the CHOICE game for farang men.

The character type of farang men that prefer Thai / Asian women seems to include appreciating the old fashioned feminine family values of the Asian women that seem to be lacking somewhat in the west. My wife has told me a few times how very young Thai girls are sort of taught innate Asian feminine values of intrinsic qualities that have not really changed over the eons, except for the creeping western values of, say, the hi so BKK or Shanghai..or Beijing..young women.. that emulate western values. For better or worse, many farang men just prefer the Asian style of feminisim, vs. the western version as it has evolved.

One of my colleagues at work accused me of marrying an Asian "because they are passive". He doesn't get it. I hope I don't get banned for this post..

..comments as you see fit..

[GuestHouse]

And only this week we have a thread running on domestic violence by Thai women. Another day we have threads on their tantrums and/or silent sulks.

I'm of the opinion that the reason so many foreigners 'prefare' Thai/Asian women is because they get fooled by the packaging.

[cognos]

.. an astute observation.. in many ways you are correct

[Ulysses G.]

I'm of the opinion that the reason so many foreigners 'prefare' Thai/Asian women is because they get fooled by the packaging.

Packaging can be very important.

[geriatrickid]

It's not like throngs of non asian women are throwing themselves at me. Jeez.

[a2396]

And only this week we have a thread running on domestic violence by Thai women. Another day we have threads on their tantrums and/or silent sulks.

I'm of the opinion that the reason so many foreigners 'prefare' Thai/Asian women is because they get fooled by the packaging.

Yes, looks can be deceiving. Hopefully, everyone who gets into a serious relationship will spend adequate time with their partner, to become aware of all their traits, good and bad. Unfortunately, such is not the case with many gents "starstruck" with Thai ladies beauty and outward charm.

[wonder6281]

There is some truth in this. I have been with 3 separate longterm farang relationships. They all start out well but after a while the expectations that were there in the beginning phase out. The taken for granted syndrome. It just happened to me that I was always expected to keep giving while it was ok for them to slow down on the same front.

Whether this will happen in my Farang/Thai relationship time will tell, but I suspect that while both sides maintain their side of the agreement that it will not phase out so easily.

If anything I worry that I might be the one in the longterm that takes the other side for granted. Something I do not want given my sense of finally finding some real companionship.

The other side of the reality is that I love the exoctic look and feel of Asian ladies. There is something very attractive about them. I still find Farang attractive too, but the gloss of them has worn off given my past relationships and the way they ended.

One other thing too, my thai lady has encouraged me to take beter care of myself, both in my habits and appearance. It is refreshing that she takes pride in the way I look. The way I was heading prior to her was drinking plenty and looking far beyond my age. My last partner obviously didn't care as long as I was bringing in the cash at my expense. Even my partner preceeding her would say you are looking old, but never offered up anything else but criticism.

Edited April 22, 2010 by wonder6281

[wamberal]

The vast majority of human beings marry (or form serious relationships with) a counterpart from their own ethnic/cultural grouping.

Mixed relationships form a tiny minority in global terms.

[Chaimai]

It's not like throngs of non asian women are throwing themselves at me. Jeez.

Really ??

You must be visiting the wrong places.

[sarahsbloke]

There is some truth in this. I have been with 3 separate longterm farang relationships. They all start out well but after a while the expectations that were there in the beginning phase out. The taken for granted syndrome. It just happened to me that I was always expected to keep giving while it was ok for them to slow down on the same front.

Only one previous for me (30 years worth) but still very true.

Whether this will happen in my Farang/Thai relationship time will tell, but I suspect that while both sides maintain their side of the agreement that it will not phase out so easily.

Does it matter, plenty more young and available if it doesn't work this time (and no ongoing financial responsibility).

One other thing too, my thai lady has encouraged me to take beter care of myself, both in my habits and appearance. It is refreshing that she takes pride in the way I look. The way I was heading prior to her was drinking plenty and looking far beyond my age.

This is also very true, toe nails too long, too much ear wax, too much nasal hair, BO from not washing, western lady complains, Thai lady fixes.

I like it here!!

Edited April 22, 2010 by sarahsbloke

[ozzieovaseas]

I've heard a lot of guys comment that they feel the basic attitude of western women makes them virtually unnaproachable these days.

Personally i think "political correctness gone crazy" has contributed to this, maybe the lines between whats acceptable and whats harrassment has discouraged guys from even bothering to discern these things and seek a western partner.

IMO, when it comes to the crunch, i dont think many guys really prefer an Asian partner..after all there's the childish over the top temper and tantrums to put up with, the language differance, and the addiction to money and materialism.

More to the case, i think a lot of guys tolerate Asian partners and the difficulties therin as a tradeoff from the relationship problems they've experienced in the past.

No doubt a bad relationship of any type can lead to a miserable existance and can turn both parties into basically insecure, unhappy and negative thinking people who let themselves go both physically and emotionally.

But IMO the Asian mentality wins handsover for one reason...An argument (no matter how bad) seems to be forgotten the next day or even by the time of the next meal..

The western attitude promotes a "forgiven but not forgotten" mentality that usually leads to grudges being kept and things building up to the inevitable boiling point.

As for the people who talk down farangs partnering Asians using the money angle..(you pay for a wife ect ect)....

WELL, even if its just a monetary transaction, at the end of the day i would sooner part with the loss of a few baht here and there, rather than putting up with a lifetime of manipulation and guilt, risk loosing my own sanity, happyness and health and THEN having to hand over a dissproportionate percentage of my house and wealth to someone who was pretty much been a passenger the whole time.

Edited April 22, 2010 by ozzieovaseas

[fanta rood]

No, the main reason for having a Thai partner is because the foreigner can't get any better in their own country. Its so ridiculously hard to find a partner back home. This is cold and hard but it is the truth.

[ozzieovaseas]

No, the main reason for having a Thai partner is because the foreigner can't get any better in their own country. Its so ridiculously hard to find a partner back home. This is cold and hard but it is the truth.

Actually, with the help of the internet its never been easier to find a partner in ones own country. There are scores of single women ready and waiting and only a mouse click away...but they are mainly single mothers...so what does that tell ya???

[Chaimai]

No, the main reason for having a Thai partner is because the foreigner can't get any better in their own country. Its so ridiculously hard to find a partner back home. This is cold and hard but it is the truth.

Actually, with the help of the internet its never been easier to find a partner in ones own country. There are scores of single women ready and waiting and only a mouse click away...but they are mainly single mothers...so what does that tell ya???

That there are lots of single fathers also on the same merry-go-round ?

[Loz]

And only this week we have a thread running on domestic violence by Thai women. Another day we have threads on their tantrums and/or silent sulks.

I'm of the opinion that the reason so many foreigners 'prefare' Thai/Asian women is because they get fooled by the packaging.

Yes, looks can be deceiving. Hopefully, everyone who gets into a serious relationship will spend adequate time with their partner, to become aware of all their traits, good and bad. Unfortunately, such is not the case with many gents "starstruck" with Thai ladies beauty and outward charm.

hmm, that pre-supposes you can take a relationship that is virtually store bought as a serious one.

Ok let me qualify that. It supposes a relationship where good comunication is not significant can be deemed as serious.

I think its much simpler that the previous theories. They like them because they look good, feel good and say yes.

If Liz hurley "behaved" in the same way, by which I mean, said, "yes..YES, OHHHHH YESSSSSS!!!" they would never venture to South east asia unless on honeymoon.

I have never found western women anything other than attractive as a group. As individuals I have had experiences that back up my impressions 100%

Asian girls often look sexy on a superfical level and if you don't scratch too hard, maybe that is enough.

Edited April 22, 2010 by Loz

[Chaimai]

No, the main reason for having a Thai partner is because the foreigner can't get any better in their own country. Its so ridiculously hard to find a partner back home. This is cold and hard but it is the truth.

Nothing cold and hard - it is true. Fact, simple.

I cannot get the sex/companionship in Uk that I can get in Thailand. Frankly, I don't want what I could get in the UK - the Thai/Falang thing works for me for now.

The cultural/language differences (whilst often a barrier) can also provide numerous areas of interest and exploration.

[tbeaver]

No, the main reason for having a Thai partner is because the foreigner can't get any better in their own country. Its so ridiculously hard to find a partner back home. This is cold and hard but it is the truth.

Actually, with the help of the internet its never been easier to find a partner in ones own country. There are scores of single women ready and waiting and only a mouse click away...but they are mainly single mothers...so what does that tell ya???

To my thinking, it's very individual. There differences in culture, appearance, social structure, but in the end, it's still about finding someone you want to be with and have things in common with.

As for western women, at least in the US, I see more women acting as hard and aggressive as most men, which is their prerogative. Perhaps it stems from women's position in the work place, many women are in positions earlier held by men and they oversee men and have to assert themselves to succeed and be promoted. In other instances from the media, there may be more pressure to be assertive and take charge. There are also women who feel they have to make up for past relationship injuries, so they take a proactive, aggressive stance.

Who knows all of the reasons, and does it matter? Do people need deep, in-depth reasons to cross racial and cultural barriers? In the end for some, it may be as simple as enjoying the differences, combined with the interpersonal elements where people find commonality.

Anyone who falls into a relationship purely for physical attraction is more likely to experience disappointment. But that holds true for people from the same culture and race.

[chantorn]

Why Male Farangs Prefer Asian / Thai Partners?

Because we are kind, gentle, caring, understanding, needs low maintenance and our relationship last forever.

[a2396]

And only this week we have a thread running on domestic violence by Thai women. Another day we have threads on their tantrums and/or silent sulks.

I'm of the opinion that the reason so many foreigners 'prefare' Thai/Asian women is because they get fooled by the packaging.

Yes, looks can be deceiving. Hopefully, everyone who gets into a serious relationship will spend adequate time with their partner, to become aware of all their traits, good and bad. Unfortunately, such is not the case with many gents "starstruck" with Thai ladies beauty and outward charm.

hmm, that pre-supposes you can take a relationship that is virtually store bought as a serious one.

Ok let me qualify that. It supposes a relationship where good comunication is not significant can be deemed as serious.

I think its much simpler that the previous theories. They like them because they look good, feel good and say yes.

If Liz hurley "behaved" in the same way, by which I mean, said, "yes..YES, OHHHHH YESSSSSS!!!" they would never venture to South east asia unless on honeymoon.

I have never found western women anything other than attractive as a group. As individuals I have had experiences that back up my impressions 100%

Asian girls often look sexy on a superfical level and if you don't scratch too hard, maybe that is enough.

Very true. It is questionable that a realtionship that is "purchased" can ever be serious. However, poor communication due to language inadequacies, put quite a damper on how serious anything is going to get in LOS. I have found that they don't always say yes here, even though I am paying the freight.

[Loz]

...Anyone who falls into a relationship purely for physical attraction is more likely to experience disappointment. But that holds true for people from the same culture and race.

Golden Post. Explains why so many people post negative experiences about relationships here. Shiny little damsel is actually cut-throat pixie! only find out after you've dropped your pants a few times... not shocking to the sound of mind.

[Birdman]

Yes, looks can be deceiving. Hopefully, everyone who gets into a serious relationship will spend adequate time with their partner, to become aware of all their traits, good and bad. Unfortunately, such is not the case with many gents "starstruck" with Thai ladies beauty and outward charm.

No, chatters with Thai females are increasing enormously. And when they finally arrive here, not few for the first time in Asia, to meet their chatting partners they know since months or even years, many decide in only a few days to marry them. They are simple overhelmed with joy not to be alone anymore and forget the rest instantly.

[Boo]

post deleted & reply to it & warning issued.

If you are unable to have this discussion without being offensive or derogatory the thread will be closed.

[NALAK]

maybe its becuase they are so easy to find,the track record is not good for such relationship. personlly i would rather have a steady relationship with a western lady, who i think i know and understand. having said that i have been with same Thai lady eight years which is how long i have lived here, not really much option in that situation as i found out they simply will not leave you alone when they know you live by yourself. i find Asians physically more attractive, but will never beleive they see us anything more than away of improving their and their families fianancial siuation. IMHO

p.s i thought before i got to the bottom of the page i would find Boo or SBK watching this one. Good morning BOO

[Gary A]

Most of the pro Asian reasons have been covered. One glaring thing I read is the perception that the Asian women are submissive. If anyone thinks that, they have never met my Thai wife.

What my wife has in abundance is a sense of duty. She takes care of me in bed, keeps a clean house and my clothes are clean and ironed. If I try to wear the same pants two days in a row, she tells me to change because people will think she does not take good care of me.

[Loz]

Thank You Nalak,

I don't know why, but I always feel better when I think someone can read something on a thread and be changed by it. Your honesty might just do that. Here's hoping!

And I second your PS.

[SoftWater]

According to theory, marriages are more likely to be successful when both partners:

come from a similar culture

come from a similar educational background

come from a similar economic background

share some interests outside of each other/family

broadly agree on their political stances

spent at lengthy amount of time in courthsip/engagement before marrying and having children

Hmm. I had two partners in the West (one for 2 years, the other 6 years), where all these conditions were met save for there was no marriage or children, and there was neither passion nor love nor commitment in either of those relationships. In contrast, I've been with my Thai wife for 8 years. None of the above conditions were met, yet there is more love, passion and commitment from both of us than either of us had had in previous relationships.

n.b., for the usual cynics who claim its all about money, let me knock that one on the head for you and point out that at the time we met she had other options, and I was - and continue to be - not the most economically fruitful of them. Nor does she or I 'keep' her family in any way, all of whom work and pay their own way, save for the father who is retired.

Edited April 22, 2010 by SoftWater

[Boo]

another post deleted.

Clearly my previous warning wasn't either read or listened too.

Last chance then..........

If you are unable to have this discussion without being offensive or derogatory the thread will be closed.

[mickylonster]

Most of the pro Asian reasons have been covered. One glaring thing I read is the perception that the Asian women are submissive. If anyone thinks that, they have never met my Thai wife.

What my wife has in abundance is a sense of duty. She takes care of me in bed, keeps a clean house and my clothes are clean and ironed. If I try to wear the same pants two days in a row, she tells me to change because people will think she does not take good care of me.

same same !

[imjustagirl]

what a load of twaddle. Some men prefer asian and some dont, there is no 'better than' i know equal numbers of men that have thai partners and farang partners out here. It is a matter of preference only in what you want as attributes in your partner. I wouldnt presume to say what someone else finds attractive in a partner.

[mauGR1]

Why Male Farangs Prefer Asian / Thai Partners?

Because we are kind, gentle, caring, understanding, needs low maintenance and our relationship last forever.

Uhm..

Without been disrespectful, i think we should consider (Western women too..) if it is a "side effect" of the Women struggle for parity, which has changed our societies in the last 60/70 years. (For the better, if you ask me)

Personally i find Asian Ladies in general more suitable for a long time relationship, one of the reason may be that i have no longer expectations in relationships, but again, could be just a trend of the moment.