This Is Why I Did Not Have A Pre- Nup

[Apothecary]

Hi Cognos,

I hear what you are saying. Having a pre-nup is almost planning for failure.

I looked after my partner well and would do practically anything for her… . It is sad but I have talked with others and experienced firsthand, Thai (or Asian) women that don’t value themselves (take themselves seriously) and don’t believe they can have a great relation. It is sad because if they can’t value themselves they can’t value the other for who they are. Trying to explain it to someone is hard especially if they have grown up in an environment where they have not been respected or valued.

So as well as I could treat someone with paid for holidays including flights and nice accommodation and food, gifts, money, rebuilding the family home and lots of love, attention and support. I was told 3 times in less than 2 months after 5 years that the person didn’t want to be with me. All I could see was they were reacting to stuff (family wanted a say in things and other people tried to distub our relation) and it wasn’t even about me . They thought they weren’t good enough.

Eventually I said fine that’s enough, put the person up in a hotel and brought them all their belongings to there. That same time I went with another girl (not sex) despite being faithful for all those years. I never used to really look at other women as was happy... but now I can’t seem to help it. Yep, the person in question came back to me after that incident and has been trying hard to take care of me.. but after all this time it just doesn’t feel quite the same .. I’ve become fearful of making plans for the future. Sometimes my body aches from sadness (for years we both felt we were each other’s partner in life) and I really don’t know what to do as we are not talking with intellifence in the way we used to... walls! When i mean intelligence i mean from our heart in openness and honesty... that to me is intelligence.

Apologies this is becoming a bit of a rant… Getting back to your point. Well a pre-nup was the last thing I wanted as it implies a lack of faith.. in my case having one would be about protecting myself from another’s deep seated issues about security and self-worth.

Apothecary

[cognos]

Hi Cognos,

I hear what you are saying. Having a pre-nup is almost planning for failure.

I looked after my partner well and would do practically anything for her… . It is sad but I have talked with others and experienced firsthand, Thai (or Asian) women that don't value themselves (take themselves seriously) and don't believe they can have a great relation. It is sad because if they can't value themselves they can't value the other for who they are. Trying to explain it to someone is hard especially if they have grown up in an environment where they have not been respected or valued.

So as well as I could treat someone with paid for holidays including flights and nice accommodation and food, gifts, money, rebuilding the family home and lots of love, attention and support. I was told 3 times in less than 2 months after 5 years that the person didn't want to be with me. All I could see was they were reacting to stuff (family wanted a say in things and other people tried to distub our relation) and it wasn't even about me . They thought they weren't good enough.

Eventually I said fine that's enough, put the person up in a hotel and brought them all their belongings to there. That same time I went with another girl (not sex) despite being faithful for all those years. I never used to really look at other women as was happy... but now I can't seem to help it. Yep, the person in question came back to me after that incident and has been trying hard to take care of me.. but after all this time it just doesn't feel quite the same .. I've become fearful of making plans for the future. Sometimes my body aches from sadness (for years we both felt we were each other's partner in life) and I really don't know what to do as we are not talking with intellifence in the way we used to... walls! When i mean intelligence i mean from our heart in openness and honesty... that to me is intelligence.

Apologies this is becoming a bit of a rant… Getting back to your point. Well a pre-nup was the last thing I wanted as it implies a lack of faith.. in my case having one would be about protecting myself from another's deep seated issues about security and self-worth.

Apothecary

Your partner may have realized that you don't know what you've got 'till its ( almost) gone.. its a shame that people sometimes take their partner for granted until that happens..then they have an about face..like she apparantly did, but something seems missing now..

..perhaps give her another chance..as you have a good heart..

..your last point strikes home very clearly and with conviction..much better than I could ever say it.. so THANKS.. I could not put it into words as succinctly as you just did!

.. and all the best to you!