This Is Why I Did Not Have A Pre- Nup

[toptuan]

I am not quite sure what your point is here. Whether Christians (and the only reason that was brought up was because of the OP's reasoning) in the US or Thailand follow the Bible, go to church, lead good or bad lives, or whatever is irrelevant. The point is, that merely because someone is of a certain affiliation, unless there are verifiable statistics that people of that religion do not divorce, then contending that they won't divorce because of that religious affiliation is faulty reasoning.

The OP made the "Christian" point simply to let us know his frame of reference. From there you took it to the illogical conclusion that you can assess the validity of a religion's precepts by the behavior of its adherents. If you believe that, I'd like to introduce you to a few drug pushers or womanizers who wear the saffron robe.

[bonobo]

I am not quite sure what your point is here. Whether Christians (and the only reason that was brought up was because of the OP's reasoning) in the US or Thailand follow the Bible, go to church, lead good or bad lives, or whatever is irrelevant. The point is, that merely because someone is of a certain affiliation, unless there are verifiable statistics that people of that religion do not divorce, then contending that they won't divorce because of that religious affiliation is faulty reasoning.

The OP made the "Christian" point simply to let us know his frame of reference. From there you took it to the illogical conclusion that you can assess the validity of a religion's precepts by the behavior of its adherents. If you believe that, I'd like to introduce you to a few drug pushers or womanizers who wear the saffron robe.

I don't want to get into a drawn out semantics debate, but you are really reading this wrong.

The OP posted "As a Thai Christian, my wife would NEVER get a divorce from me...."  The only way to read that is that he feels because his wife is a Thai Christian, she will not divorce him.  This is simple English composition.  Nothing strange about that.

And I made absolutely no conclusion as to the validity of a "religion's precepts."  I never mentioned what those precepts might be, for one, so how could I address their validity?  All I mentioned was behavior which did not fall in line with the OP's assertion.

Let me take this out of the religious sphere as I an inferring therein lies your beef (mea culpa if I am wrong in that.)

1.  A person contends that because he is a man, he likes to drink beer.

2.  Not all men like to drink beer.

3.  The reasoning behind the contention in #1 is faulty.  That person merely likes beer for whatever reason, but that reason is not because he is a man.

And before you cry apples and oranges, this is a valid analogy with respects to language and debate theory, not about religion!   

My post was never about if Christians are right or wrong, good or bad.  I merely pointed out that Christians get divorced.  (I am a divorced Christian myself, so I am personally familiar with the situation.)  So to use the mere fact that a person is a Christian as proof a person will not get divorced is faulty reasoning.

The OP and his wife may stayed married forever.  I wish them luck on this.  But on the pre-nup side, it is this same exact feeling which sometimes comes back to bite one of the spouses in the backside.  If you choose not to have a pre-nup (and I never had one) just base it on other considerations, and many have been posted here, and not on faulty assumptions.

[Koh_Falang]

Your reasoning is Biblically-based and has stood the test of centuries. The Bible is like an operator's manual--pragmatic in the purest sense. One read through Proverbs, alone, will impress one with that principle.

The US may be full of Christians, but few read the Bible regularly, and even fewer follow its precepts.

I am not quite sure what your point is here.  Whether Christians (and the only reason that was brought up was because of the OP's reasoning) in the US or Thailand follow the Bible, go to church, lead good or bad lives, or whatever is irrelevant.  The point is, that merely because someone is of a certain affiliation, unless there are verifiable statistics that people of that religion do not divorce, then contending that they won't divorce because of that religious affiliation is faulty reasoning.

If the OP stated that his wife has a deep personal aversion for divorce, or that her family won't accept a divorce, or whatever personal reason there might be, then no one here can gainsay that. Only the OP knows his wife.  But to attest that Christians don't divorce because of their religion is really not a valid argument.  They do all the time, just as people of other religions divorce.

I see what your saying and i agree that being Christian doesn’t mean you wont divorce... Perhaps i can re-state the point?

Its worth stating that for a Christian to divorce, its quite a big deal religiously. The Op is referring to the 2 biblical instances where you are allowed to divorce your other half (cheating and beating), so providing she is of reasonable faith, her morals will have quite an impression upon her when considering a divorce. To do otherwise, is to go against the bibles guidelines and in some Christian faiths, against God altogether. Various denominations will not provide wedding services to those attempting to remarry outside of these guidelines.

All this pressure would surely have an impression upon his wife to ensure she has considered the consequences of divorcing rather then it being a rash decision. Compare this to your average Buddhist girl and you may find divorce is less of an issue and easier to make a decision on.

[bonobo]

Your reasoning is Biblically-based and has stood the test of centuries. The Bible is like an operator's manual--pragmatic in the purest sense. One read through Proverbs, alone, will impress one with that principle.

The US may be full of Christians, but few read the Bible regularly, and even fewer follow its precepts.

I am not quite sure what your point is here.  Whether Christians (and the only reason that was brought up was because of the OP's reasoning) in the US or Thailand follow the Bible, go to church, lead good or bad lives, or whatever is irrelevant.  The point is, that merely because someone is of a certain affiliation, unless there are verifiable statistics that people of that religion do not divorce, then contending that they won't divorce because of that religious affiliation is faulty reasoning.

If the OP stated that his wife has a deep personal aversion for divorce, or that her family won't accept a divorce, or whatever personal reason there might be, then no one here can gainsay that. Only the OP knows his wife.  But to attest that Christians don't divorce because of their religion is really not a valid argument.  They do all the time, just as people of other religions divorce.

I see what your saying and i agree that being Christian doesn't mean you wont divorce... Perhaps i can re-state the point?

Its worth stating that for a Christian to divorce, its quite a big deal religiously. The Op is referring to the 2 biblical instances where you are allowed to divorce your other half (cheating and beating), so providing she is of reasonable faith, her morals will have quite an impression upon her when considering a divorce. To do otherwise, is to go against the bibles guidelines and in some Christian faiths, against God altogether. Various denominations will not provide wedding services to those attempting to remarry outside of these guidelines.

All this pressure would surely have an impression upon his wife to ensure she has considered the consequences of divorcing rather then it being a rash decision. Compare this to your average Buddhist girl and you may find divorce is less of an issue and easier to make a decision on.

What you have posted is certainly true.  And if people are strongly religious, either personally or culturally, then there certainly are tendencies for behavior one way or the other.  In the Philippines, most people are either Muslim, Roman Catholic, or Iglesia de Cristo, all which are very strongly anti-divorce.  And when a Filipina marries an American man, the divorce rate is 25%, or half that of the rest of the US's divorce rate.  So yes, IMO, the religious affiliation of Filipinas is probably a major factor in the lower divorce rate. Even if a Filipina is not particularly religious, the culture is religious, and she won't want to be the brunt of public scorn for getting divorce.

But there still is that 25% of those marriages which end in divorce.  So it does happen, and therefore being a Christian, to use the OP's wife's case, is not in and of itself a guarantee that divorce cannot happen.

[Koh_Falang]

Fair point... Perhaps this discussion is going around in circles as we both seem to agree that for the OP to say NEVER is a bit too confident...

Edited May 6, 2010 by Koh_Falang

[BlackArtemis]

In the west if your sister married a rich guy, he wouldn't hand it out to the village......

bilbobaht, I agree with a lot with what you are saying. But there are plenty of educated and well to do families that have no interest in sin sot.

@bonobo I believe that the rates are closer to 60% now, and Christian marriages have always been statistically on par with everyone else. My cousin (Thai Christian) is in a horrible marriage (to the pastor's son none the less)and thought about getting divorced in the first few months. He cheats on her etc etc. The only reason revolving around Christianity that is influencing her stay with him is loss of face in the church community... So she pulled the typical dumbass move of getting pregnant to keep the guy at home...

[toptuan]

I am not quite sure what your point is here. Whether Christians (and the only reason that was brought up was because of the OP's reasoning) in the US or Thailand follow the Bible, go to church, lead good or bad lives, or whatever is irrelevant. The point is, that merely because someone is of a certain affiliation, unless there are verifiable statistics that people of that religion do not divorce, then contending that they won't divorce because of that religious affiliation is faulty reasoning.

The OP made the "Christian" point simply to let us know his frame of reference. From there you took it to the illogical conclusion that you can assess the validity of a religion's precepts by the behavior of its adherents. If you believe that, I'd like to introduce you to a few drug pushers or womanizers who wear the saffron robe.

I don't want to get into a drawn out semantics debate, but you are really reading this wrong.

The OP posted "As a Thai Christian, my wife would NEVER get a divorce from me...." The only way to read that is that he feels because his wife is a Thai Christian, she will not divorce him. This is simple English composition. Nothing strange about that.

And I made absolutely no conclusion as to the validity of a "religion's precepts." I never mentioned what those precepts might be, for one, so how could I address their validity? All I mentioned was behavior which did not fall in line with the OP's assertion.

Let me take this out of the religious sphere as I an inferring therein lies your beef (mea culpa if I am wrong in that.)

1. A person contends that because he is a man, he likes to drink beer.

2. Not all men like to drink beer.

3. The reasoning behind the contention in #1 is faulty. That person merely likes beer for whatever reason, but that reason is not because he is a man.

And before you cry apples and oranges, this is a valid analogy with respects to language and debate theory, not about religion!

My post was never about if Christians are right or wrong, good or bad. I merely pointed out that Christians get divorced. (I am a divorced Christian myself, so I am personally familiar with the situation.) So to use the mere fact that a person is a Christian as proof a person will not get divorced is faulty reasoning.

The OP and his wife may stayed married forever. I wish them luck on this. But on the pre-nup side, it is this same exact feeling which sometimes comes back to bite one of the spouses in the backside. If you choose not to have a pre-nup (and I never had one) just base it on other considerations, and many have been posted here, and not on faulty assumptions.

Yes, I did not read the post carefully as you suggested. Yes, Christians do get divorced (and I also am in the same boat as you), and your point is certainly valid. If you send me a crow pie, I will eat it.

Edited May 6, 2010 by toptuan

[bonobo]

Yes, I did not read the post carefully as you suggested. Yes, Christians do get divorced (and I also am in the same boat as you), and your point is certainly valid. If you send me a crow pie, I will eat it.

I think I probably ate all the available crow pie over the last few days myself so there isn't any left!  

[Thakkar]

<snip>

Even if you marry a rich woman in Thailand, she should only know about 10% of your wealth, so lets say you got $1M USD, that means she knows you have $100,000 that is 3M baht, that's often to retire and live comfy for life so you tell her and stick to your plan<snip>

I'd hide the good china too.

It's my mind that to play the thai game

Ah, that explains everything. It's a game.

[JSixpack]

'bilbobaht' date='2010-05-06 07:58:18' post='3571994' wrote:

> The difference between thai and farang court is that in thai the

> farang has a 100% chance of losing.

No, farang can win in court and have, sorry.

> Smart thai-men ALWAYS pay there wife off at divorce, usually about

> 200,000 and 3,000 per child per month.

No, it's more likely they pay nothing at divorce. Rather, the wife may have to pay HIM

to divorce, esp. when he finds out the new husband will be a farang. Seen that!

And they pay nothing for child support, hence all these girls working

bars.

Seems you don't know what you're talking about. Who's been feeding you

this stuff?

> the sin-sot is to take care of her after you become

> bored of her. Thai man have to pay SAME.

You need to go thru the sinsot sticky to understand it's not that

simple.

I know of cases where the Thai man didn't pay.

> My thai wife, her sisters husband had to pay the same as me, and his

> family paid the money.

Well, that's what they told you and you believe everything they say.

In a village, a farang friend of mine was told by the parents that the

sister was paid 300,000. The family and neighbors affirmed.

After a dispute that required police involvement, it turned out the

sister's sinsot was only 10,000.

Just another scam.

> I wish we really didnt' have to argue about

> sin-sot here, its a mute issue to me.

Yep, you've kissed that 1M baht goodbye. "Mute" is right in this case,

since you have no further say in how that money is wasted.

> I married a thai-chinese

> family that is RICH.

Well, maybe, but you don't really know. Maybe they're deeply in debt.

You just look around and take their word for everything, don't you?

You haven't seen the independent audit.

> You pay for beauty, education, and family ....

In your case, a high price for what may be a short time, since your

budget is only USD100,00, to be almost exhausted after the house is

built, at which time it may be time for the family to get you out of

the way. You're getting near the end of your usefulness. At that point,

it's not just the money at issue for you. It's your physical safety.

> When I first decided to get involved I said the same thing "I WILL

> NOT PAY SIN-SOT". By the time I meet my wifes mother and the mother

> started the sin-sot at 2M, I got her down to 1M,

But then she might've gone down to 100K, so don't jerk off too much

about your bargaining skills. My earthy friend would say of that 1M, "ain't no

pussy worth that much!"

> besides I was told

> they money would be used as a down-payment to build an apartment

> complex for the wife,and the project has already started, and their

> plan is that this will be income for life of my wife.

"You were told!" "Their plan." This kills me. Just a lamb to the slaughter.

> Her sister

> already has an apartment complex, and it came the same way by

> sin-sot.

What an industry, eh? But who knows the truth?

> The cash-flow from the complex pays the MTG. I think its a

> dam_n good plan, beause in effect the wifes income in the long term

> comes from the apartment complex and NOT me.

Amazing the blinders worn by these old besotted farangs. The sinsot

came from YOU and so the proceeds of the sinsot come from YOU also IF

the investment works out. I think you'll find that one way or the

other the wife's income in the long term isn't going to come from that

complex as long as you're around.

Anyway if that were the purpose, then YOU could have invested the 1M

yourself for her. Thai parents, you see, do things primarily for themselves, and

maybe someday the children will benefit--after all the disputes are

settled (Thais typically don't make wills).

>I save a ton of money by not being surrounded by drunks.

Funny you mention this as "a ton" considering how RICH you are. But you haven't

saved as much as by not paying 1M sinsot or at least getting it back,

or not paying 10,000 a month to your wife, or not buying a 1M house

that you may be kicked out of before long.

Finally, to address your "1 year" rule: case reported years ago in the

Pattaya Mail had to do with a farang who after 8 years of marriage

found a letter from his wife to her old Thai boyfriend to the effect

of "hold on a little longer, darling, I've almost got the house." On

the other hand, some marriages have worked out well even though the

parties knew each other only a few months. But I agree that the longer

you wait, the better . . . .

>love,

You too, dear bilbobaht,

JSixpack

Edited May 6, 2010 by JSixpack

[galvheim]

Bilbobath: You say one should really have a 1M$ to play this game of yours. But really there are plenty of other games to be played out down here, than marrying into a Thai/Chinese family who never drinks, gamble, butterfly or smoke. Good for you, but it not my cup of tea. Up here in the village they both drink, gamble and like to spend money in the instance they have it, but who says it has to come from my pocket? I speak enough Thai to explain to them that I'm not going to pay them a satang unless they do anything to get it. If they make me a dinner, paint my walls, cut some wood, dig a hole in ground, go buy sigarettes and a few bags of icecubes, I would pay them and not care at all where their money went, wether its lao-kao or gambling. I do not borrow anything to them either, since they simply do not understand the meaning of borrowing - at least not the farang-meaning of the word. So I have very few issues. Also my me and my girlfriend has discussed sin-sod, and she have said that since her family have seen that I am able to take good care of her and the kids, they do not want anything from me. We may have a small wedding and thats it. They know we have sticked together in thick and thin allready, and we have a mutual understanding and respect for eachother. We live with her family up here in the village, and all they get is really that we take care of them, meaning that we have food on the table and the red gum.-thing that they are chewing all day. They are really low maintenance, and have a lot of rice, so I not even pay for that. I pay for the proteins in form of chicken and other meats, unless they have catched rats, snails, insects or frogs. And really I have a good time here. I own two motorbikes, 4 computers, TV's, and many other things up here. AMrriage is not an issue, since they don't see the importance of this. I have told her the redicilous aspects of marriage, and that its only an issue IF I would ever take her to Norway to stay there for some time. But I really not see the point in that too right now, since she does not speak our language, she does not have too much education and also since someone has to take care of her kids. When I'm in Norway she is ready to live cheaper too, and the money I send is more than enought for her to live perfectly well up here. If I took her with me, I would have to pay for her up there, and also send money for her kids.

So Bilbobath, do whatever you like, but understand that your choices in life is not the only correct ones. There are many ways to get around these problems. In fact I have never had a serious girlfriend talking to me about her family demanding sin-sod. If we married we would simply do that and hold a party, and thats it. No big engagements or other things. When your're young they might see another future for their girl, since we still have a long time to develop something in the course of time, and thus be able to support both them and my own family.

With regards to telling them how much money you really have, if having a lot, I agree with you. The pressure may not go directly to you, but she will certainly get a lot of it. Also there may arise a lot of envy around her, and since Thais are often very self-centered they may turn people down in bad ways, since they only see the present day when they have all they need. Later, if you leave her, she will be left with a pretty unhappy crowd of people surrounding her, not lending her anything or even care a bit about her misfortune. So yeah, let them think you are a poor, cheap man. They will sooner or later get used to it and stop asking.

[sarahsbloke]

The Christian thing

My pal and I were both thinking of getting married a little while ago.

He was going to marry a Christian lady, his lady arranged to get the 'affirmation of freedom' document through a friend from her church, special price 30kbht

He purchased his and hers gold wedding rings for 100kbht from a custom jeweler.

I was going to marry a former freelancer, my lady arranged to get the 'affirmation of freedom' document through a dodgy pal of hers, price 2.5kbht.

I bought his and hers silver rings for 400bht from a market stall.

He was really upset when the dodgy contact handed over my 'affirmation' in a bar, "that's the same guy that did mine for 10x what you paid him."

I wonder what the christian lady had for her cut?

(PS the christian lady generally compared unfavourably to the former freelancer lady in all areas we discussed, I ended up not marrying her though)

Edited May 6, 2010 by sarahsbloke

[Benjie]

10 rai of land in Phuket? The OP's wife is richer than him.

Christians don't get divorced?

[tijnebijn]

I agree mostly with Jsixpack .

The reactions you gave to the poster are priceless , and indicate most

importantly your common knowledge of average mentality of Thai families which

, sadly so , are full of lies that unfortunately influence naive foreigners with their almost

totally innocent and perfectly orchestrated roadmap to achieve quick free and ' innocent '

cultural pocket money .

[hawthorne]

To each their own but for advice to others the majority rules and is correct here, Get a prenup.

I did not get a pre-nup either but I assure under no circumstance will it bite me in my arse. My wife even asked me if I wanted one so under no way was she against it.

Since you have this tiddy sum of money, You probably do not need one either as your assest are not marjority in Thailand and she probably does not have citizenship to your country. Nor does not have access to your money.

It depends on what country your are from as to her rights in your home country also.

So good luck to all and hope no one has to go through a bad divorce.

[cognos]

how do you know you are in the minority? from reading crap like Thai Visa and the blokes you've met at the go-go bar? come on now, let's talk about weather or something...

point well taken.. i have no idea as to the % who have pre- nups..however, from reading the previous post about the guy who was wondering aloud if his decision to have one was correct..

.. it seemed he wanted feedback to justify his decision, which I felt was a bit sad, as perhaps he had second thgoughts.. moreover, many of the respondants were adamantly IN FAVOUR of them..

..albeit a small sample to go on.. perhaps those WITH them were "rushing" to his aid to add their 2 cents, extolling the virtues of a pre nup and justifying their decision..whilst those who did not were silent, for whatever reason..

.. bottom line is I am just glad I did not go down that route.. however evidently many are very happy they did, in hindsite or otherwise

[cognos]

I was struck by the idea that this is something Thailand-specific, which it isn't. Next I thought, "40 million baht and he thinks he's not rich. Yeah, right... Take the average wage of a Thai worker (say, 6,000 baht a month) and do the math and you will find that it would take her (him) 555 years to make that much money. Yes my friend, perhaps you are not rich back in Monaco, but in Thailand you are Bill Gates rich."

Of course I am sure this woman wants to be with you because you are a swell guy, not because you are a millionaire, but this idea of, "...if I had no assets, I would not ask my wife for a pre-nup either," is silly. Of course you wouldn't need one then.

I might point out one thing here. Many people not in the legal profession misunderstand contracts. They seem to think that all contracts are one-sided. The fact is that a properly formed contract signed by both parties (which presumes that both have read, understood and agreed upon the terms) is a benefit to BOTH sides. Everyone knows at the outset what is what and there is no chance, for example, that the man will, in his waning months, create a last will and testament leaving everything to his favorite ferret, Pauline.

.. but if she had all the money, and you had little or NONE, would YOU insist on a pre nup to protect HER money and assets.. that is the kicker for many I suspect..

the answer is YES if you live by the GOLDEN RULE, otherwise its not a 2 way street, just good if it SUITS YOUR agenda

[cognos]

hello Cognos - may I ask you how old you are?

53.. probably look 43 or 45, as I have worked out fairly heavily since age 19, and am blessed with decent genes( my mother is 81 and looks WAY younger).. the wife just turned 39

[AndyBlueEyes]

Thanks to people that think like the op, it keeps me with a steady supply of girls that have money and are very well off the second time around --Keep up the good work! Attitudes like those in the original post are just another confirmation of the accuracy of the well known quote credited to PT Barnum.

[cognos]

I can understand where you are coming from. As a Hopeless Romantic, I feel the same way about marriage.

Altho I can also see the other posters opinions, which can be summed up by the Latin - Si vis pacem, para bellum.

What would I do ? For Better or Worse, Romance would win.

I guess that is where the 'Hopeless' comes in, eh ? He - He

i think we have sort of the same character type..but i am not clever enough to put into words what i can perceive clearly in my "hopeless' mind..

.. well i'll try, but won't do it justice..its like when you love someone like "that", you also have a lot of empathy towards them in general, and to have pre- nup seems.. almost..( to me) conniving..or..holding back..or..letting them down somehow that you can NEVER be quite all they want or need you to be..

..and it would sort of break my heart in a small or even bigger way, that material "things" supercede your all- out commitment to her.. it seems..shallowish, and i want deep..

..told you i couldn't explain it properly, but perhaps some of you can intrinsically sort of feel the vibe..

..billobaht kind of hit the nail on the head.."good Thai women don't drink, smoke, gamble or butterfly, and they expect their men to be the same" ( paraphrasing)

..well i don't drink, smoke, gamble or butterfly anymore.. used to do it all ( BORRRRING), so that puts me in the category "un divorcible" in some way..

.. now I HAVE AN EDGE, and trust me, i find curvy sexy pouty- lipped Thai women that drink, gamble, perhaps smoke and gamble too to be very desirable at some point ( you think only women like "bad" guys?? uh uh), but whats the point of marrying one? me no sure, comrade

we can have curvy, sexy pouty- lipped and they good too naa?

[cognos]

3.As a Thai Christian, my wife would NEVER get a divorce from me UNLESS I abused her by..screwing around ( which would be all down hill after the lustful climax..I thought about it.. came close, and came to my senses) or emotional/ physical abuse towards her.. it ain't gonna happen..

This is not a personal dig at your wife nor you. I don't know either one of you and it would be pretty arrogant to assume anything about you. But...

The US is full of Christians, and 50% of all marriages there end in divorce. So unless there is something special about the Thai brand of Christianity, that argument, as stated, doesn't hold water.

And while you may intend never to stray, and you may in fact not, statistics show that about 85% of men do stray. I would hazard a guess that most men tell themselves that they won't when they get married, but nature takes its course later on.

like usual, you have thoughtful replies with much substance..however generalities are just that..

..it is probably true that 50% of U.S.Christian ladies get divorced, so you are right, but she is Thai Christian, and yes.. it is a slightly different "animal"..in that..

.. they are quite conservative.. and believe in ( another generality,..sorry about that) the sanctity and in ONE marriage partner..i cannot proove this but..

..Bonobo..do you ever "know" something, without concrete benefit of absolute scientific, empirical, double - blind testing (sort of thing) to back up your gut feeling.. and you KNOW you are right.. and it is a self fulfilled prophesy?..

..if the answer is yes, then you can sort of understand, but not necessarily agree.

cheers ( ice cold non - alcohol beer is pretty good too)

p.s..as for straying.. boy is LOS ever a "pit" of temptation, point WELL taken there..in fact a friend of mine at work ( in Vancouver) won't go back to his home in Africa for that very reason..he knows he can't resist temptation ( apparantly its like LOS that way)..sometimes its dammmmed hard to "reject" blissssssss

[cognos]

There's only one flaw in the OP's thinking.

The Game's Not Over Yet.

i guess op doesnt see ladys fogetting to tell him about her wealth as something significant.

the ladys thinking is prolly whats hers is hers and whats the farangs will be mine too(at least a part of it).

im sure mr mccartney had the same same list as op as to why not to have a pre nup! sounds all so good at the beginning of the marriage!

and all this, after all mr cognos witty posts. kinda ruins my image of him

Agreed. Not letting him know so that he'd think she was poorer and give more at the beginning. Lack of full disclosure. What's next? The old husband?

Another "it can't happen to me, mine's different" story.

I can clearly see how you can come to that conclusion..when i wrote that part i was COGNIZANT that the admission could be fraught with difficulty..in most cases your supposition would be ironclad, with any rebuttal by other (me) only sufficing as a weak, slippery - sloped argument..

..yet, it is the truth that my wife is completely unmaterialistic..so she did not consider it important to mention about the 4 acres..in fact she did say early on that her family had "some land" and she had a little, but i did not choose to query her on the amount, for reasons which i cannot recall, as it was several years ago..it would make a nice story, but if i don't recall, i don't recall

honest to a fault ( been told this MANY times)

[cognos]

Sarah's bloke.. i believe you..and all i can say is..

.. its not Christianity that is the problem, its the PEOPLE.. btw..i have always admired Buddhists, and some of them can be problematic as well.

.. your story illustrates why many people don't want to be Christian..for they say.." why would i ever want to be a Christian when they act like that?"

I have no pre-nup, and did not want one..so for your story about the "Christian" lady and mine, there may be a common thing..

SOM NOM NAAA

[cognos]

Thanks to people that think like the op, it keeps me with a steady supply of girls that have money and are very well off the second time around --Keep up the good work! Attitudes like those in the original post are just another confirmation of the accuracy of the well known quote credited to PT Barnum.

You made my day Drew. Your modis operandi makes me feel better Andy. I'm gonna talk to the wife tonight about having a pre - nup, just for you. Good on you that you are able to do what you do. I also have blue eyes, and i guess our similarity ends at that

..heck, pm me and i'll send you money western Union asap. i WANT you to be successful, and I WANT you to give my money to your ( latest) honey. They do make lovely noises, don't they..

signed: i can hear those hordes of lovely (Christian) Thai women exchanging notes about your many virtues.."and he walked with me, and he talked with me.."

oh yah

[AndyBlueEyes]

..heck, pm me and i'll send you money western Union asap. i WANT you to be successful, and I WANT you to give my money to your ( latest) honey. They do make lovely noises, don't they..

As the old saying somewhat goes " If you give a man a fish, he will eat for a day but if you teach a man to fish, he will eat for a lifetime" so don't bother giving me money directly but just keep up the good work of spreading the word about the evils of a prenup so I can be successful for a lifetime. All kidding aside, you have chosen a good topic for discussion even though covered many times before because there are always new guys coming to LOS that need to learn some things and give some thought to this potentially life changing topic should they decide to wed.

[cognos]

..its not that a pre - nup is "evil" at all.. its just not for me, and i was hoping for some sensible feedback as to why one should have a pre - nup..obviously i am biased, but so far have heard little to convince me that pre - nups are the way to go..

..if you have chosen well in terms of your mate ( or been blessed or lucky i suppose )

Take care, and have fun/ sanook mak loy khrap with the ladies ( i sure did, can you find a better place on the face of the earth?..i doubt it )

[bonobo]

3.As a Thai Christian, my wife would NEVER get a divorce from me UNLESS I abused her by..screwing around ( which would be all down hill after the lustful climax..I thought about it.. came close, and came to my senses) or emotional/ physical abuse towards her.. it ain't gonna happen..

This is not a personal dig at your wife nor you. I don't know either one of you and it would be pretty arrogant to assume anything about you. But...

The US is full of Christians, and 50% of all marriages there end in divorce. So unless there is something special about the Thai brand of Christianity, that argument, as stated, doesn't hold water.

And while you may intend never to stray, and you may in fact not, statistics show that about 85% of men do stray. I would hazard a guess that most men tell themselves that they won't when they get married, but nature takes its course later on.

like usual, you have thoughtful replies with much substance..however generalities are just that..

..it is probably true that 50% of U.S.Christian ladies get divorced, so you are right, but she is Thai Christian, and yes.. it is a slightly different "animal"..in that..

.. they are quite conservative.. and believe in ( another generality,..sorry about that) the sanctity and in ONE marriage partner..i cannot proove this but..

..Bonobo..do you ever "know" something, without concrete benefit of absolute scientific, empirical, double - blind testing (sort of thing) to back up your gut feeling.. and you KNOW you are right.. and it is a self fulfilled prophesy?..

..if the answer is yes, then you can sort of understand, but not necessarily agree.

cheers ( ice cold non - alcohol beer is pretty good too)

p.s..as for straying.. boy is LOS ever a "pit" of temptation, point WELL taken there..in fact a friend of mine at work ( in Vancouver) won't go back to his home in Africa for that very reason..he knows he can't resist temptation ( apparantly its like LOS that way)..sometimes its dammmmed hard to "reject" blissssssss

No, I never "know" something without proof.  I can be pretty darn sure, though, and I might even act on that feeling, but unless there is proof, I always retain even a bit of sceptism on the chance that I am wrong.  I am personally wired in that I have to know, I have to be correct in what I know.  And so I am constantly searching for the truth.  That is what makes it easy for me to do a 180.  I can hold for years that A is true, then someone casually shows me that it is actually B which is true, and I will jetison A in a heartbeat and embrace B.

And that is also why in things which I have no real proof, I usually preface my statements with things like "I think" or "in my opinion."

But I do understand your sentiment on that, on going with a feeling, which may be nothing more than your subconscious analyzing various bits of data, then coming to a rational conclusion without your conscious mind even realizing what went into that process.

About temptation, you are sure correct there.  The best way to resist it, in my opinion, is not to put yourself in the position where you might fall to it.  

[cognos]

yes.. for example, when you go for a thai massage..you may want to pick one that is uwon and my soweye ( overweight and unattractive).. i used to pick the best looking ones and THAT can be a recipe for disaster if you are married and don't wish to be tempted by a temptress.

[cognos]

.. in case anyone may be vaguely interested, here is my wife and I last month..the non pre - nup guy and her

take care

[Koh_Falang]

.. in case anyone may be vaguely interested, here is my wife and I last month..the non pre - nup guy and her

take care

well done mate... looks like a happy couple...

food looks tasty too