If A Marriage Breaks Down?

[pbd1971]

Hi to you all, I know I am leaving myself open to ridicule by asking this but there you go, I plan to marry my Thai Fiancee within the next few months and maybe it's the pre wedding nerves but I have started to worry about the *What if it all goes wrong Scenario*

I live in the UK and as I understand it, after 6 months of marriage, a partner/spouse is entitled to half my assets. Basically, what is the best way to protect myself?

Now, I am just a normal working guy here in England who like most, started with pretty much nothing and has worked hard to get what I have now, a simple house which is almost paid for, a mediocre private pension fund and a couple of grand savings (after the wedding) What I am saying is I am by no stretch of the imagination rich, but if the marriage was to break down, what is likely to happen?

I have read a few scare stories on here but I am as sure as I can be that we will have a happy life together but who knows what might happen in the future.

Thank you.

[Mrbiggus]

Hi to you all, I know I am leaving myself open to ridicule by asking this but there you go, I plan to marry my Thai Fiancee within the next few months and maybe it's the pre wedding nerves but I have started to worry about the *What if it all goes wrong Scenario*

I live in the UK and as I understand it, after 6 months of marriage, a partner/spouse is entitled to half my assets. Basically, what is the best way to protect myself?

Now, I am just a normal working guy here in England who like most, started with pretty much nothing and has worked hard to get what I have now, a simple house which is almost paid for, a mediocre private pension fund and a couple of grand savings (after the wedding) What I am saying is I am by no stretch of the imagination rich, but if the marriage was to break down, what is likely to happen?

I have read a few scare stories on here but I am as sure as I can be that we will have a happy life together but who knows what might happen in the future.

Thank you.

If you are already worried that it's going to go all very wrong then DO NOT DO IT!

In the subconsciousness of yours their is something telling you "There sure ain't something right here"

So just live together for a while and then see if all goes well.

Ah she wants to live in England. Well if you value your soul then go live with her in Thailand and then in a couple of years of living together in Thailand make it official and then move back to blighty.

So in a few years get in contact with us all and tell us what happened.

[MAJIC]

Hi to you all, I know I am leaving myself open to ridicule by asking this but there you go, I plan to marry my Thai Fiancee within the next few months and maybe it's the pre wedding nerves but I have started to worry about the *What if it all goes wrong Scenario*

I live in the UK and as I understand it, after 6 months of marriage, a partner/spouse is entitled to half my assets. Basically, what is the best way to protect myself?

Now, I am just a normal working guy here in England who like most, started with pretty much nothing and has worked hard to get what I have now, a simple house which is almost paid for, a mediocre private pension fund and a couple of grand savings (after the wedding) What I am saying is I am by no stretch of the imagination rich, but if the marriage was to break down, what is likely to happen?

I have read a few scare stories on here but I am as sure as I can be that we will have a happy life together but who knows what might happen in the future.

Thank you.

If you are already worried that it's going to go all very wrong then DO NOT DO IT!

In the subconsciousness of yours their is something telling you "There sure ain't something right here"

So just live together for a while and then see if all goes well.

Ah she wants to live in England. Well if you value your soul then go live with her in Thailand and then in a couple of years of living together in Thailand make it official and then move back to blighty.

So in a few years get in contact with us all and tell us what happened.

Of course nobody Should go into a relationship/marriage without an optimistic viewpoint.

Now you have the alarm bells ringing,so listen to your inner self and the above poster who has said it all,"DO NOT DO IT"

Also if you are mentally imagining a split up scenario,and wondering your legal rights and how much she will win and you/lose doesnt this tell you something very important?

[surayu]

I think the op is right to ask and this will not prevent him to have a very long lasting and happy relationship, the thing is that we are all human beings and we can't control other people minds to change, so, in my personal case i did something that i believe is called a prenuptial agreement, is a small contract which basically will not allowe my wife to get what i own abroad if the relationships comes to a end(if i remember right you have to make it legal using your embassy), think about it, is a bit like buying a new sport car, you have to be aware of the risks, like having an accident or something suddenly broke down....but this don't mean you will automatically end up like that, it's just usefull to know what the comsequencies might be, it's being realistic and not pessimistic as someone seems to think, proactive rather than reactive......good luck!

[priorstp]

get your parents or a close trusted family member to put a charge on your house for the equity amount, this means that if you split and the house gets sold to pay her half then your parents or whoever you chose will be paid the amount declared in the charge and the remaining amount will be split. After she has fled your parents or whoever can give you the money back. ( be very careful though as they could run off with your money so it must be someone you can trust 100%) she cannot get your pension or anything you have gained before you got married.

Yes if you have doubt about getting married to this person dont do it. On the other hand i think you are just worried about all the horror stories you hear. why dont you try bringing her to England for a 6 month visit and see how it goes.

[sarahsbloke]

Hi to you all, I know I am leaving myself open to ridicule by asking this but there you go, I plan to marry my Thai Fiancee within the next few months and maybe it's the pre wedding nerves but I have started to worry about the *What if it all goes wrong Scenario*

I live in the UK and as I understand it, after 6 months of marriage, a partner/spouse is entitled to half my assets. Basically, what is the best way to protect myself?

Now, I am just a normal working guy here in England who like most, started with pretty much nothing and has worked hard to get what I have now, a simple house which is almost paid for, a mediocre private pension fund and a couple of grand savings (after the wedding) What I am saying is I am by no stretch of the imagination rich, but if the marriage was to break down, what is likely to happen?

I have read a few scare stories on here but I am as sure as I can be that we will have a happy life together but who knows what might happen in the future.

Thank you.

She is unlikely to ever get entitlement to your pension (as already earnt and she wasn't around), but you house is at risk along with your savings, especially if she manages to have a kid (prenup doesn't count in the UK if you have a kid). The house problem is very large as she will quickly get the right to live in it (small problem) without you being allowed to live in it (big problem). The very best way to avoid a UK assets grab is to ......... never take her to the UK, live in Thailand, marry in Thailand.

Her rights in Thailand are entirely different, she will be entitled to 1/2 of everything you gain, after the wedding, along with ALL property in Thailand (if you are daft enought to buy). On divorce she gets 100bht a day for any children you have but the payment is not enforced. Luckily Thai authorities do not see marriage as a free meal ticket for a woman for life.

[Scully]

Hi to you all, I know I am leaving myself open to ridicule by asking this but there you go, I plan to marry my Thai Fiancee within the next few months and maybe it's the pre wedding nerves but I have started to worry about the *What if it all goes wrong Scenario*

I live in the UK and as I understand it, after 6 months of marriage, a partner/spouse is entitled to half my assets. Basically, what is the best way to protect myself?

Now, I am just a normal working guy here in England who like most, started with pretty much nothing and has worked hard to get what I have now, a simple house which is almost paid for, a mediocre private pension fund and a couple of grand savings (after the wedding) What I am saying is I am by no stretch of the imagination rich, but if the marriage was to break down, what is likely to happen?

I have read a few scare stories on here but I am as sure as I can be that we will have a happy life together but who knows what might happen in the future.

Thank you.

Do you live with her now. If the anwswer is no then why would you want to marry her.

If you do live with her then you will probably know the answer.

[Loz]

How long have you known her?

How long have you known her in the biblical sense?

Whats the longest amount of time you have spent together?

Now subtract answer 2 from answer one and add the product to answer three.

If the final figure to the above is less than 18months keep her as a girlfriend for now (assuming you haven't paid up front for the wedding.)

I love the line, "If you marry someone in your twenties you'll be shocked at who you wake up with in your thirties". But more pertinent here, "IF you marry someone in THEIR twenties don't surprised when they wake up shocked to find you in their bed in their thirties!"

[NBD]

If you're having any doubts at all then don't do it? <deleted> to that.

I think if more farangs (and husbands to be everywhere) took the OPs attitude and looked at covering themselves first then the world would be a much happier place.

Of course you should go into it optimistically, but who knows what will happen down the line. Moving countries is a hugely stressful thing which changes people. She might fall sick or (God forbid) die and then the family start coming out with all sorts of claims.

Sorry I can't be of any help on how to protect yourself, but definitely do it.

[sbk]

I don't see anything wrong with protecting your assets, I am sure my friend wished she had done the same after her husband cleaned her out of her savings (up his nose). And just because you are concerned, doesn't mean you shouldn't do it, just shows a sensible cautious streak. Certainly reading all of the horror stories will make you nervous but that doesn't mean you have to assume it will happen to you. But people change, regardless of where they come from, or what gender they happen to be and there is nothing you can do about something like that except make certain you are safe.

[kola]

NBD it's easy for you to say do it, you won't lose anything..

I could say do it too and appear like a good soul..

But I take the "risk" and say too don't do it, because unfortunately in UK it's not the same story, if she can stay long enough or has thai friends already in uk, she will be well aware of their rights as a wife or worse a mother.

If you want to give your future self such a hard time, ok let's do it now!

Of course it may not happen to you afterall, I can be drunk and drive safely home, no accident. Everything is possible in the good way or the bad way. But people who don't drink and drive tend to have less accidents, but they can still have them for other reasons.

So it's up to, but if you want to marry and all, don't do it in stupid countries such as western's ones.

[robblok]

I don't see anything wrong with protecting your assets, I am sure my friend wished she had done the same after her husband cleaned her out of her savings (up his nose). And just because you are concerned, doesn't mean you shouldn't do it, just shows a sensible cautious streak. Certainly reading all of the horror stories will make you nervous but that doesn't mean you have to assume it will happen to you. But people change, regardless of where they come from, or what gender they happen to be and there is nothing you can do about something like that except make certain you are safe.

I have to agree being cautious does not mean you should not go through with it. Where i am from its quite normal to make a prenuptial and i made one and it saved me loads of money. However if real alarm bells are ringing already then don't go on with it.

[Mrbiggus]

Divorce in the UK is a legal nightmare and will cost you (the male) as one assumes you are with the wealth.

Technically the Decree-Nisei cost about £350.00 BUT If your wife wants a payout then you are in big trouble

Do not think divorce is a simple matter and do not make the mistake of a pre-nup as they do not exist in UK law.

UK civil law is quantifiable with compensation laws that will make any grown man cry.

From a personnel experience of divorcing a Thai woman in the UK only after one year of marriage cost me well over £15,000

This has made me dislike certain types of people who roam the planet, solicitors being in that group.

If you are asking this question with sincerity and not a troll. My advice is do not marry regardless of what nationality your wife is because the laws are very against the man in the western hemisphere.

[pbd1971]

Well thanks for the replies, certainly plenty of food for thought there and I feel I should give you a little more information.

I am a very cautious person, I can say for certain too cautious and have always found big decisions difficult.

I have done some really deep thinking today and have wondered if the problem is with me, I have to admit I enjoy a relatively care free life here, doing what I like when I like, only having to worry about myself, I am 39 now and have only co habited once or twice with previous girl friends and then not for very long, I have come close to marriage twice before (with English girls) and backed out. Am I looking for an excuse again? Makes me wonder.

On the other hand, I think there is a big difference between western and Thai cultures when it comes to marriage and family. A friend who has a Thai Wife told me “Remember that you will not just be marrying her, you are marrying her whole family too” I was told her families problems, especially financial problems will soon become mine. Different to here in the UK, here its sorry we would love to help but we have our own to look after.

It also seems to me that the law in England is not very male friendly when it comes to marriage break up, I think it would be difficult for me to live in Thailand, how do you guys make a living there? Is it possible to just move there and find work or are you all living of some investments you have?

Thanks

[BigWheelMan]

Hi to you all, I know I am leaving myself open to ridicule by asking this but there you go, I plan to marry my Thai Fiancee within the next few months and maybe it's the pre wedding nerves but I have started to worry about the *What if it all goes wrong Scenario*

I live in the UK and as I understand it, after 6 months of marriage, a partner/spouse is entitled to half my assets. Basically, what is the best way to protect myself?

Now, I am just a normal working guy here in England who like most, started with pretty much nothing and has worked hard to get what I have now, a simple house which is almost paid for, a mediocre private pension fund and a couple of grand savings (after the wedding) What I am saying is I am by no stretch of the imagination rich, but if the marriage was to break down, what is likely to happen?

I have read a few scare stories on here but I am as sure as I can be that we will have a happy life together but who knows what might happen in the future.

Thank you.

Actually, you have already answered your own question.

You know the consequences if this dream marriage doesn’t work out, so you had better make sure that you know what you are doing before taking on this commitment.

No one can advise in this case, because only you have the facts about this girl and your situation.

[Skint]

Well thanks for the replies, certainly plenty of food for thought there and I feel I should give you a little more information.

I am a very cautious person, I can say for certain too cautious and have always found big decisions difficult.

I have done some really deep thinking today and have wondered if the problem is with me, I have to admit I enjoy a relatively care free life here, doing what I like when I like, only having to worry about myself, I am 39 now and have only co habited once or twice with previous girl friends and then not for very long, I have come close to marriage twice before (with English girls) and backed out. Am I looking for an excuse again? Makes me wonder.

On the other hand, I think there is a big difference between western and Thai cultures when it comes to marriage and family. A friend who has a Thai Wife told me "Remember that you will not just be marrying her, you are marrying her whole family too" I was told her families problems, especially financial problems will soon become mine. Different to here in the UK, here its sorry we would love to help but we have our own to look after.

It also seems to me that the law in England is not very male friendly when it comes to marriage break up, I think it would be difficult for me to live in Thailand, how do you guys make a living there? Is it possible to just move there and find work or are you all living of some investments you have?

Thanks

I think you need more time to think this through, You dont marry the family you marry her make sure this is clear to her if you support her its up to her to help her family with that allowance or she has to get a job to pay for her family some are happy with this some are not. As for getting a job forget it "If "anything take contracting work in the uk and do 6 month contracts and 6 month Thai, seriously dont give up Farang money to live there in the hope of a job as you will end up like many parafins out there skint and unable to go back.

Have you brought her back already for a holiday or long stay?

[sarahsbloke]

From a personnel experience of divorcing a Thai woman in the UK only after one year of marriage cost me well over £15,000

That's actually a bargain price.

My divorce from a UK woman cost, legal fees 5000UKP in first 2 weeks, 600,000 UKP in divorce settlement (even though she never cortributed anything financially to the marriage)

[NBD]

NBD it's easy for you to say do it, you won't lose anything..

I could say do it too and appear like a good soul..

But I take the "risk" and say too don't do it, because unfortunately in UK it's not the same story, if she can stay long enough or has thai friends already in uk, she will be well aware of their rights as a wife or worse a mother.

If you want to give your future self such a hard time, ok let's do it now!

Of course it may not happen to you afterall, I can be drunk and drive safely home, no accident. Everything is possible in the good way or the bad way. But people who don't drink and drive tend to have less accidents, but they can still have them for other reasons.

So it's up to, but if you want to marry and all, don't do it in stupid countries such as western's ones.

You mean benig prepared for a future bust up will cause one? I don't buy that unless she is out to rip you off in the first place.

[ukrules]

That's actually a bargain price.

My divorce from a UK woman cost, legal fees 5000UKP in first 2 weeks, 600,000 UKP in divorce settlement (even though she never cortributed anything financially to the marriage)

Was it worth it ?

[NBD]

And you're all mad for getting married in the first place.

[BobbyMoore]

From a personnel experience of divorcing a Thai woman in the UK only after one year of marriage cost me well over £15,000

That's actually a bargain price.

My divorce from a UK woman cost, legal fees 5000UKP in first 2 weeks, 600,000 UKP in divorce settlement (even though she never cortributed anything financially to the marriage)

Ouch! It cost Paul McCartney £24.3 million! Divorce settlements are so unfair in many cases when it is transparent the contesting spouse contributed absolutely nothing whatsoever into the marriage other then self gain.

[sarahsbloke]

That's actually a bargain price.

My divorce from a UK woman cost, legal fees 5000UKP in first 2 weeks, 600,000 UKP in divorce settlement (even though she never cortributed anything financially to the marriage)

Was it worth it ?

I must confess, I can see now it was worth the cost ...... but it didn't seem worth it at the time.