You Know You'Ve Been Too Long In Thailand When...

[mca]

You have a 5 minute conversation with a wrong number who called you by mistake.

[lazygourmet]

When you are just scrolling on Thai Visa posts without reading any of them...

[mahtin]

When you are just scrolling on Thai Visa posts without reading any of them...

Lorsque tu oublies laquelle est ta premiere langue...

Ooops, when you forget what your first language is.

[andyww]

... when you see a power outlet with 5 different appliances running off it, which intermittently emits sparks as not being dangerous but perfectly normal.

...when you start examining the tat in the glass-fronted cabinets which every Thai house has.

...when you have one of those tissue holders with gold plastic decoration in your car.

..when your nice new Honda has a bunch of dirty looking marks placed on the inside of the roof by a monk

...when you start staring at taxi meter readings and doing all kinds of mental calculations to check whether the meter has been tampered with.

...when you understand that pedestrian crossings have no actual purpose whatsoever

... when you are woken at 3am by a huge explosion of a transformer on a pole outside and you just roll over and go back to sleep

... when you consider a foot of water in your house as a mild case of dampness

... when you see the helpful provision of traffic lights with a seconds countdown as a means of encouraging a competitive spirit.

... when you realise its absolutely impossible to completely escape squat toilets for ever, and the first time you use one for ages, your phone falls down the toilet.

... when you stop wondering why, when you visit Thai friends with your wife, the hostess always places a glass of water in front of you and nobody else.

and:

You know you have been on Thaivisa too long when you believe "Thai's" really should have that apostrophe, the Thai currency is the "Bath" and foreigners are referred-to as "Farlangs"

Edited June 24, 2010 by andyww

[garyh]

When you can put a rubber band on a plastic bag in 2.5 seconds.

[alobar]

When you watch a Sonkran lantern take flight and get stuck in a power line and laugh along with everyone else.

[Crossy]

When you can put a rubber band on a plastic bag in 2.5 seconds.

And you can get the same band off without breaking it or spilling the liquid contents of said bag

[mca]

When you can put a rubber band on a plastic bag in 2.5 seconds.

And you can get the same band off without breaking it or spilling the liquid contents of said bag

It took me aeons to figure out the best way to get those bands off was just to keep pulling them and they'd eventually unravel. Prior to that it was nam pla everywhere ( usually all over me or the table) except where I wanted it to go

[mogoso]

Nr. 6 is soooooooo true !!!!!

and

Not only does it not bother you a lady is cleaning the urinal next to the one you are using, but that you also start to have a casual chat with her.

So F*****g True!!!!

That isn't as bad as when the male attendant starts to massage your shoulders when your standing at the urinal.

[rabo]

While stuck at a red light, you are the first to enter the second oncoming lane becasue the first oncoming lane has filled up.

[DurianBoy]

when you type 55555 to something funny

[angiud]

55555555555555555555555555555

[mahtin]

When you want a steak and order satay and get served the steak.

[bkkjames]

Could this topic/forum be 'pinned' or similar.

I thing a lot of people like to smile after reading all the posters, because it is what we all experience when staying here. (more or less).

Although many years in Thailand, I only recently became more active on THAIVISA.

Some treads are serious, some informative, some bullshit, but the ones which can be us laugh are not so plenty.

I know many  foreigners where, who will visit THAIVISA only sometimes, and they will be missing some good treads.

I suggest you set up a google alert for funny topics on TV. 

[hyperdimension]

A Thai cop stops you for a minor infraction and you automatically reach for your wallet.

Yes, it's automatic behavior!

[kuifje]

A Thai cop stops you for a minor infraction and you automatically reach for your wallet.

Yes, it's automatic behavior!

And you know, if you are traveling along a long route (500 or more km's) they will telephone to their colleague's further up the road.

You will be stopped again, because they know 1 or 2 falangs are traveling in such a car.

I happened to me, one day a got stopped 5 times for minor infractions on route 1, mostly for speeding, but also one time because I was driving the right lane and their was a U-turn ahead (you supposed to go to the left lane then).

Altogether is was fun, because most of the time we also played the cops, we paid 2 x 100, and one time 200, at the other stops they lets us go because they did not know how to handle the situation.

All happened in a very friendly atmosphere, so if it happens to you, to lose your cool. Be nice and friendly, maybe they let you go.

I love Thailand. !

Same back home, would have cost me many hundreds of Euros, and probably loss of drivers licence (repeated offences).

[mahtin]

Same back home, would have cost me many hundreds of Euros, and probably loss of drivers licence (repeated offences).

Well that's original, someone actually committed an offence other than being farang in charge of a motor vehicle.

[sanook2me]

Same back home, would have cost me many hundreds of Euros, and probably loss of drivers licence (repeated offences).

Well that's original, someone actually committed an offence other than being farang in charge of a motor vehicle.

Give him time to chat to some old bar stools and he'll soon correct his rose tinted vision too the normal TV poster

Because i is farang today i got scammed/ripped off/cheated and all other stuff that doesn't cross my path here in the LoS

[Charger770]

You refer to the gym as: "Fitneah'"

I'm in Australia for a few months at the moment.

I can't believe I said to someone: "I go fitneah' " when telling them I was going to a gym.

[Geekfreaklover]

I like this one...

"A Thai bar girl you've just met tells you that her mother is deathly ill and you just laugh and walk away"

Very true...

[clausewitz]

1.You are driving on the express way at 130km/hr in the fast lane (legal limit 100k) slowly passing a long line of heavy traffic in the adjacent lane (travelling at 125km). Someone comes up behind you flashing their lights and sits 20 cm off your bumper, even though it is obvious you can't pull into the next lane.

You observe him talking on his mobile while doing this.

Your only emotion is one of pride,knowing that you live in a country where the men are skilled at multi-tasking and precision driving.

2. At California Fitness, the man next to you in the changing rooms is helping his boyfriend pull up his underpants. You never give it a second thought.

Edited June 25, 2010 by clausewitz

[chaoyang]

You understand the meaning of "don't think too much" (don't worry)

And "same, same, but different" (similar to)

[Valjean]

When you ask your wife/gf a question and you know the answer isn’t the truth,

And she knows that you know it isn’t the truth,

And you know that she knows that you know it isn’t the truth,

And you find that an acceptable answer because you’ve deduced the truth,

And she knows you deduced the truth,

And you know that she knows you deduced the truth,

And at that point you have the answer to the question and everyone is happy.

[galvheim]

...when you know how to spell "Suwarnabhumi" Airport correct from your head.

...when you start making a gun-gesture with your hands under your chin when someone takes a picture, thinking its a cool thing to do.

...when you are driving around on the motorbike having positioned the mirrors to reflect your own face.

...when Durian is considered a good tasting fruit and you not have problems having your girlfriend bringing it into your condo.

...when you start plucking out fairly big insects, that have landed in your bed, without turning any lights on, and just continue to sleep afterwards.

...when you stop realizing that you are driving in 80-90 kmph down the small road in just t-shirt, shorts and a small helmet on.

...when you send a kid to buy you some more beer.

...when you give up about pointing out all these obvious things to a Thai...

...when your turn off your cell-phone because its lighning and thunder close by, but happily go around with an umbrella or sit wait under a tree.

...when you walk around with flip-flops and paka-ma a whole day, even outside your house, without caring about it.

...when just blowing off the myriad of ants from your cracker-thing makes it edible again.

...when chicken in your kitchen is just part of the day.

...when you feel embarassed if another farang is pointing at something at a market with his feet.

...when you consider Tesco-Lotus restaurant food as allmost gourmet.

...when you start laughing at your girlfriend every month when she's "definently" pregnant again.

...when you start dreaming lottery-numbers.

[garyh]

A Thai cop stops you for a minor infraction and you automatically reach for your wallet.

Yes, it's automatic behavior!

A mate of mine who has lived in Thailand for many years confuses the BIB by speaking some made up European language, most times they give up and let him go.

[IanForbes]

A Thai cop stops you for a minor infraction and you automatically reach for your wallet.

Yes, it's automatic behavior!

A mate of mine who has lived in Thailand for many years confuses the BIB by speaking some made up European language, most times they give up and let him go.

:lol:

I do that all the time with telemarketers. I speak in some sort of east European accent that sounds like a combination of German, Dutch and Ukrainian. it sounds real, but means nothing, and it confuses the hel_l out of people:lol:.

[basjke]

When you think the amber traffic light is the signal to speed up.

[dogleg]

When you think the amber traffic light is the signal to speed up.

Or when you will run a Red light rather than inconvenience the driver behind you..

[dogleg]

When you can put a rubber band on a plastic bag in 2.5 seconds.

And you can get the same band off without breaking it or spilling the liquid contents of said bag

It took me aeons to figure out the best way to get those bands off was just to keep pulling them and they'd eventually unravel. Prior to that it was nam pla everywhere ( usually all over me or the table) except where I wanted it to go

Huh? You just bite off the bottom corner of the bag and squirt. Don't you?

[angiud]

You move your car completely in the opposite lane to overtake a bike

You buy a lot of chromed accessories for your new car

You detach your car wipers when you park your car

You have in the rear of your car one of those strange volunteer-with-a-passed-out-girl sticker

You carry 20 or your wife's relatives to the temple festival in the rear of your pick up

You have several amulets on your car's dashboard