You Know You'Ve Been Too Long In Thailand When...

[Scully]

You are happy when it is raining, you tut at dogs to stop them doing something and you don't feel guilty when theres a 110 year old women left to stand next to your seat on the bus.

[garyh]

When you start using your hands instead of toilet paper.

[popshirt]

when you don't read Thai Visa for weeks at a time because it is always the same old, same old.............

[chickenslegs]

When you cover your mouth whilst using a toothpick, but pick your nose quite openly.

[kuifje]

Very good tread, all so true, thank guys, I had a good laugh, you made my day.

[anothertorres]

fantastic. made my day. well, that and the US winning...

[lothda]

...none of the tuk-tuk drivers in Bangkok try to talk to you any more

[MCos]

I still feel uncomfortable when totally drunk blokes I don’t know want to hold my hand at up-country parties.

[bkkjames]

I still feel uncomfortable when totally drunk blokes I don't know want to hold my hand at up-country parties.

Perhaps a change in after shave is in order?

[sanook2me]

I still feel uncomfortable when totally drunk blokes I don’t know want to hold my hand at up-country parties.

I once witnessed and there was another farang with me to prove it wasn't an hallucination from the local hooch.

An old drunk guy dancing at a party with a 6 foot large plant..! i kid you not he was twirling and dancing away with it and no one batted an eye lid..

[angiud]

You answer your customers "thank you kap"

[Lammbock]

When you fly back to your home country or elsewhere you miss the toilet ass spray more than your Wife/GF.

Edited June 24, 2010 by Lammbock

[bkkjames]

1. When something amusing happens, your first thought is,  I'll post that on ThaiVisa.

2. When you know the user names of more Thai Visa members than the names of the people who live in your street.

3. When you wake up at 3am, go the the toilet, then think, I'm up, may as well check ThaiVisa.

That's pretty funny Gary.

[tumtong]

When you fly back to your home country or elsewhere you miss the toilet ass spray more than your Wife/GF.

You hit it right on the head with that!!

[Gladiator]

I hope that you accept these in the spiirit of fun in which they are offered. (Sorry about the length).

You think it's normal to have a beer at 9:00 a.m.

You begin to enjoy Thai TV programs.

You look four ways before crossing a one way street.

You realize that ALL your problems are caused by Thai girls or cranky ATMs.

You put salt and chilli on your fruit

A Thai cop stops you for a minor infraction and you automatically reach for

your wallet.<br style=""> <br style="">

You think that a Honda Civic is a prestigious car.

All your tee-shirts are emblazoned with the name of some bar.

You can't remember the last time you wore a suit and tie.<br style=""> <br style="">

You think a polo shirt and jeans are formal attire.<br style=""> <br style="">

Someone tells you that watching Thai politics is like watching two chameleons making love, and you understand the analogy

You aren't upset when the bar girl next to you eats beetles as a snack.<br style=""> <br style="">

Later the same night, you actually kiss the bar girl who earlier dined on the beetles.

You haven't had a solid stool for five years.<br style=""> <br style="">

You wake up in the morning and realize that you have nowhere to go and all day to get there.

You think white wine goes well with Som Tam.

You understand when your Thai wife says, 'My friend you' or 'Same, same, but different.'

A Thai bar girl you've just met tells you that her mother is deathly ill and you just laugh and walk away.

You realize that your Thai wife's loyalties belong to

1. Her

parents.

2. Her children from a previous marriage to a Thai scoundrel who deserted her..

3. Any remaining blood relatives.

4. The family buffalo.

5. The family's goldfish.

6. You.<br style=""> <br style="">

The Thai Navy buys a new submarine and you're not surprised when the first thing they do is remove the mufflers and hang a garland from the rear view mirror.

You consider you mobile phone a fashion accessory.<br style=""> <br style="">

You start wearing slippers everywhere<br style=""> <br style="">

You start driving cars with bare feet

You no longer enjoy Songkran. Instead, you stay home with a stack of DVD's

You become an expert on buying and selling gold jewelry

Dogs become animals you'd rather kick than pet.

When driving a car you'll start using every free inch of the road.

You flash your 4 indicator lights when driving straight on at an intersection.

It's two days before payday, so you only go to bars with balloons strung outside.

You realize that all the important words in Thai begin with

the letter 'S'.

Sanuk (Fun),

Saduak

(convenient), Sabai (comfortable), Suay (pretty).

You believe that buying a gold chain is an acceptable courtship ritual, or at

least a form of foreplay.

You think a calendar more useful than a watch.

You go to a Thai Boxing match and a soccer game breaks out.

You stand in the shadow of a telephone pole while waiting for a bus.<br style=""> <br style="">

You think putting ice in red wine is normal.

You don't care or know what day of the week it is.

You think 15kb's of upload speed is quite fast.

You begin to think you actually are a 'Hansum Man'.

You automatically without thinking swear in Thai.

You have a Thai nickname.

Lao Kha just doesn't do it for you any more.<br style=""> <br style="">

Neither does Viagra.

You own a CD compilation with Crazy Frog on.<br style=""> <br style="">

You don't have a problem kissing a ladyboy on the cheek<br style=""> <br style="">

You sit in a bar in Bangkok surrounded by naked girls and porn on the big screen and you just want to watch the golf on the small screen in the corner<br style=""> <br style="">

You avoid walking under fruit laden coconut palms

You avoid looking into a girls eyes longer than 3seconds

You know where to buy booze on officially shut holidays<br style=""> <br style="">

You realize your whisky and soda is rum based<br style=""> <br style="">

You accept 5 on a motorbike with shopping is normal

You accept builders clambering up bamboo scaffolding with no boots or helmets<br style=""> <br style="">

You count the number of passengers embarking on a ferry

Pedestrian crossings mean nothing<br style=""> <br style="">

Nothing surprises you and things are not always what they seem<br style=""> <br style="">

You realize Thai logic does not tally with Western logic

[Ulysses G.]

I've seen a lot of these type of posts over the years, but this might be the best! 

[carmine]

I've seen a lot of these type of posts over the years, but this might be the best!

Have to agree with you, that was superb Gladiator

Edited June 24, 2010 by carmine

[Thaddeus]

You point to things using only your lips.

[garyh]

I still feel uncomfortable when totally drunk blokes I don't know want to hold my hand at up-country parties.

I once witnessed and there was another farang with me to prove it wasn't an hallucination from the local hooch.

An old drunk guy dancing at a party with a 6 foot large plant..! i kid you not he was twirling and dancing away with it and no one batted an eye lid..

Went to a local music show thing amongst the Lum Yai trees with dancing girls on stage. What I could not work out is why the males where ignoring the show and the women where stuffing money in the dancing girls clothes. The photo is one that I just missed stuffing the money in.

[phomsanuk]

You use nam in the toilet and tissue at dinner ?

[clausewitz]

:unsure:i am about 35% of those now. Rather worrying.

[kuifje]

Could this topic/forum be 'pinned' or similar.

I thing a lot of people like to smile after reading all the posters, because it is what we all experience when staying here. (more or less).

Although many years in Thailand, I only recently became more active on THAIVISA.

Some treads are serious, some informative, some bullshit, but the ones which can be us laugh are not so plenty.

I know many foreigners where, who will visit THAIVISA only sometimes, and they will be missing some good treads.

[gotglue]

You point to things using only your lips.

[cdnvic]

You use nam in the toilet and tissue at dinner ?

Clever one, and true.

[ignoramus]

Thanks tumtong, I'm feeling good now. Originally thought "oh dear, I suppose I'd better read this and hear the bad news". Thanks to others as well. Love that optimistic stuff.

[tumtong]

You use nam in the toilet and tissue at dinner ?

And you put toilet paper in the bin instead of down the loo!

Clever one, and true.

[tumtong]

Thanks tumtong, I'm feeling good now. Originally thought "oh dear, I suppose I'd better read this and hear the bad news". Thanks to others as well. Love that optimistic stuff.

Thanks..let's put the fun back in Bkk!

[mca]

You avoid fellow westerners because you know the vast number of their conversations would have you looking for the nearest gallon of industrial drain cleaner to drink rather than endure another second of their chat.

[stander]

When you watch the world cup with Thai commentary and you don’t even notice

[tumtong]

You point to things using only your lips.

So true.. so easy to visualize!!