You Know You'Ve Been Too Long In Thailand When...

[tumtong]

Time to get this thread back up and running me thinks.

I find myself ticking so many boxes the longer I stay in LOS!!!

1. The footprints on the toilet seat are your own.

2. You no longer wait in line, but immediately go to the head of the queue.

3. You stop at the bottom of the escalator to plan your day.

4. You habitually punch all the buttons as you leave the lift.

5. It has become exciting to see if you can get on the lift before anybody can get off.

6. You're willing to pay to use a toilet you wouldn't go to within a kilometer of at home.

7. It is no longer surprising that the only decision made at a meeting is the time and venue for the next meeting.

8. You rank the decision making abilities of your staff by how long it takes them to reply

"up to you mister".

9. You accept the fact that you have to queue to get your number for the next queue.

10. You have considered buying a motorcycle for the next family car.

11. You accept without question the mechanic's analysis that the car is "broken" and that it will cost you a lot of money to get it fixed.

12. You find it saves time to stand and retrieve your cabin baggage while the plane is still

on final approach.

13. You walk to the pub with your arm around your mate.

14. You answer the telephone with "Hello" more than 5 times.

15. Your are quite content to repeat your order six times in a restaurant that only has four

items on the menu.

16. A T-bone steak and rice sounds just fine.

17. You believe everything you read in the local newspaper.

18. You regard traffic signals, stop signs and copy watch peddlers with total ignorance.

19. If when listening to the pilot prove, he can't speak English, you no longer wonder if he

can understand the Air Traffic Controllers.

20. You regard it as part of an adventure when the waiter exactly repeats your order and

the cook makes something completely different.

21. You're not surprised when three men with a ladder show up to change a light bulb.

22. You think it is normal to wait six days to get your laundry back or pay 50% surcharge

for same day service.

23. Taxi drivers understand you.

24. You own a rice cooker.

25. Due to selective memory you honestly believe you could return to the western world.

26. You can shake your hands almost perfectly dry before wiping them on your pants.

27. YOU UNDERSTAND ALL OF THE ABOVE REFERENCES!

You habitually look both ways when crossing a one way street

Your wife calls to remind you she will be home Saturday and have you bought toilet paper.

You are not surprised when the lady who owns the pub asks if you know anyone who will teach her son English.

Not only does it not bother you a lady is cleaning the urinal next to the one you are using, but that you also start to have a casual chat with her.

While stuck in a traffic jam, you see a tiny gap in the traffic in the other lane. You think "If I try and move into that gap, half my car will be left in the lane I was just in, thus blocking traffic for a mile back and frustrating 100+ drivers."

But you don't care and jump in that gap anyway.

You wear a wooly hat and gloves when it drops below 30

You think fairy lights wrapped around a T.V looks beautiful

You Actually believe your wife's family like you!!

You think blondes look exotic

You push the pull open door for the 50th time this week and giggle about the experience again

Your sure theirs room for one more on the bike that already holds 5 people and a pig

You now speak to friends back home in broken English

You enjoy som tam with a few chicken feet on the side

You buy cigarettes in singles, and are sure L&M taste better than B&H

Your sure Loa Khao is a good substitute for a twelve year old single malt

You don't fear a couple of months in the monkey house

You can sleep for 23 and a half hours a day for months on end

You can shower, eat, watch T.V, call all your friends and clean the room in the only waking 30 mins you have each day

You think a face smothered hand cream and white powder is attractive

Or perhaps you just might start missing big fat women with varicose veins.

You think having a 1 baht coin in your ear looks cool

You wear a suit to work then change into flip-flops upon arrival

You add enough soda to your whiskey to render it colorless

And put ice in your beer

You have a conversation with a mouthful of food

And smoke between mouthfuls

You pluck your face at traffic lights

You stand and watch a video in Power Buy

You tell someone the time is about 11 o'clock when in fact it's a quarter to 12.

- You use a whistle when parking your car.

- You season your hamburger with nam pla phrik.

- You are always thinking it must be time for the next meal.

- You stop thinking that a girl riding pillion on a motorbike, side-saddle, wearing a mini-skirt, with one toe pointing to the ground, while putting on make-up, is anything out of the ordinary.

- You can sleep standing up on the bus.

- You can keep your bus fare in your ear.

- If you meet someone called Steve you call him ``Sateve''.

- You know the braking distance for vehicles traveling at 10kph is two meters and that the braking distance for vehicles traveling at 100kph is also two meters.

- You laugh your head off at jokes you can't understand.

- You describe anyone who has ever lived within a two kilometer radius of you as ``my brother''.

- You find that everything you own is counterfeit.

- You frankly never really have a clue what's really going on.<FONT size=2 face=Arial><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; FONT-SIZE: 10pt">

Edited June 23, 2010 by tumtong

[NADTATIDA1]

...you reply to this post!

[bkkjames]

This topic was done a couple of months back.

[garyh]

When you can't spell Thailand

[tumtong]

When you can't spell Thailand

I know, I know!!!!!!

[carmine]

Brilliant stuff Tumtong

[carmine]

When you start sticking a nasal inhaler up your nose every ten minutes

When you sit on a motorbike, face in the mirror popping zits without any concern of being seen by passers by

[jombom]

When the spiciest Indian and Mexican dishes taste bland

[sk1max]

When you're driving into town and a BUS, driving the wrong way towards you, honks for you to get out of his way and you do without giving it a second thought.

[Lammbock]

Nr. 6 is soooooooo true !!!!!

and

Not only does it not bother you a lady is cleaning the urinal next to the one you are using, but that you also start to have a casual chat with her.

So F*****g True!!!!

Edited June 23, 2010 by Lammbock

[sanook2me]

when you phone the wrong number at 6am and say..

"heellllllooooooooooooo"

and they reply in a funny language "ber pit krap"

put the phone down without apologising

and

repeat !

[tumtong]

...You think nothing of entering a noodle shop even after you've just seen a huge brown rat run out and past you!

[IanForbes]

Not only does it not bother you a lady is cleaning the urinal next to the one you are using, but that you also start to have a casual chat with her.

:lol:

It seems so long ago, but I remember the first time that happened to me. Now it just seems normal

Edited June 23, 2010 by IanForbes

[Loz]

No matter what or how simple the question is, you reply "EHH!?!?" the first couple of times before accepting they actually need an answer..

You pay 3000BHT to fill your tank which was half full and only holds 70litres. You drive off and hope the will spend the money on a helmet or some tyres for their bike that DON'T look like licorice.

You no longer return the salute of the guard at the entrance of the Mall.

You no longer give your deepest wai to the waitress at your local korean bbq.

You no longer pick the fat off your meat but, pick the meat of your fat!

[mahtin]

It's just another day for you and me in paradise

[cdnvic]

This topic was done a couple of months back.

I can remember it about six or seven years ago.

[carmine]

When you automatically sit on the foor to eat even though there is a perfectly good table and chairs in the same room.

When you cover a perfectly good pizza with tomato sauce.

[bkkjames]

You know you have been here too long when you need to check the newsclipping section for stories about condom sizes or taxes on alcohol. 

[NADTATIDA1]

you start using your hands....

[bkkjames]

you start using your hands....

You are confusing marriage with Thailand mate.

[DMC1]

You only use your mobile phone whilst driving, especially when negotiating very busy/dangerous junctions

When a Policeman flags you down on the highway you pretend you didn't see him and keep going

[tumtong]

You're language includes "Ohhh hooo", "ehh bahh" and "alai wahh"...

when you're watching the latest hit Thai soap on tv!

[ChangMaiSausage]

When you think nothing of the guy in front of you picking his nose.

When you sit at night and automatically reach for a blanket to cover yourself with even when it 42 outside and only a little cooler inside (the wife drives me mad doing this, now my little boy asks for a blanket when he sits on the sofa)

When you think the stench of cooked fish in the house is acceptable and nicer than the air fresher you put up (including cooking bamboo, which smells like cat pee, IMO)

Edited June 23, 2010 by ChangMaiSausage

[bkkjames]

When you think nothing of the guy in front of you picking his nose.

When you sit at night and automatically reach for a blanket to cover yourself with even when it 42 outside and only a little cooler inside (the wife drives me mad doing this, now my little boy asks for a blanket when he sits on the sofa)

It's a comfort thing. Just like when my Mrs asks me why am i always grabbing my **&%.

[tumtong]

You put a 7-11 bag on your head when you're out in the rain!

[Loz]

You put a 7-11 bag on your head when you're out in the rain!

the natives always complain when I pull it down and try to secure it with a knot...

[ozzieovaseas]

When you've got SO much time on your hands you can actually afford the time to read Tumtongs ENTIRE post..hehe (joking)..very funny and fitting mate

When you dont feel clean unless you've had 6 showers a day (brits excluded!)

When you STOP laughing at girls being slapped on Thai TV soaps,

[Garry9999]

1. When something amusing happens, your first thought is, I'll post that on ThaiVisa.

2. When you know the user names of more Thai Visa members than the names of the people who live in your street.

3. When you wake up at 3am, go the the toilet, then think, I'm up, may as well check ThaiVisa.

[ozzieovaseas]

You put a 7-11 bag on your head when you're out in the rain!

the natives always complain when I pull it down and try to secure it with a knot...

This is why i always keep discarded beer Leo cartons handy..

Cut out a few holes for eyes,extend the flaps, and Bobs your Uncle..

you can do it to if you like

[sanook2me]

When you break down in your motor..

Instead of using a portable red warning triangle to warn on coming traffic.

You place a large twig with leaves in the road behind your motor.

When it rains extend your rear motorcycle guard with some bamboo leaves to stop the splash up..